Breaking Trinity
by VvDeadRosesvV
Summary: AH/AU ExB Lemon. Mid-Semester, Senior Year. Bella is escaping Arizona and starting over in Washington. An unexpected hook-up at a party in Port Angeles turns into obsession. What happens when desire becomes too much to control? Rated S for Snarling.
1. Breaking Trinity Prologue

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns the landscape of Twilight and all contained therein. I am just a tourist. Don't sue me.

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Breaking Trinity

Prologue

I've known Jessica Stanley since I was three years old. We used to be next door neighbors, playing in the patch of land between soggy lawns while our mothers were on their porches, talking over our heads.

When my mom and dad split up, I was uprooted from rainy Forks, Washington and relocated to sun-baked Phoenix, Arizona. I would return to the land of little illumination to visit Charlie, my father, during the summers and the occasional holiday. Jessica and I would re-forge our friendship every year, seemingly immune to the effects of long distances.

When our summers dropped down from two months to two weeks at a clip due to burgeoning teen-aged angst and parental resentment, Jess and I made up for it with a devout letter writing campaign. That kind of friendship, with all of its non face-to-face time, seemed perfect and priceless. Both of us skipped over all of the cat-claws and hissing that comes with estrogen _overloaded-individual-identity_ establishment.

I am proud to say, we never were the _best-friend-necklace-that-come-together-to-form-a-heart_ people. No, Jess and I had carte-blanche to be ourselves with the freedom to tell each other anything we wanted without reservation. It didn't even lose its translation when pen and paper switched to E-Mail and instant messenger.

Jess and I shared it all, every gruesome detail. First love, first kiss, first base and homeruns; we never had to worry that one of us was wagging a finger behind the other's back. We could be as raunchy as we dared or as spiritual as we wanted. Nothing was holding us back.

So when I digitally told Jess that I was moving back to Forks, the virtual smilies and cap-lock replies through AIM became a cyber-girl scream fest. Alright, maybe we were just a little Cosmo sometimes. But the connection was still there, even if hers was broadband and mine was dial-up.

It might have been the best thing in the world that Renee, my mother, had finally remarried. I was officially off of the lean-on-me list. I didn't have to be a parent to my single parent anymore. I could finally start being me.

Just Bella.

Other than _nuptial-induced-Renee-bliss, _my mother wanted to go on the road with her Little Leaguer. Sorry, that was mean. Phil was just so much younger than my mom, but still a great guy. He pitched minor-league and was offered some potential work down in Jacksonville, Florida. Phil was going to have to travel…a lot. I knew in my gut that Renee wanted to be at his side.

That wasn't the only reason for what happened next, but it was the most advantageous one to work with.

I suggested to Renee (in my last official-mock-parenting-role) that I should move in with my dad, the Chief of Police in Forks. The stability factor alone was a winning argument. Add in the guilty desire of my mom wanting to travel with her new husband, and the bases were loaded.

A swing. A Hit. Out of the Park.

But in the shadows of it all, the chance to escape Arizona had something to do with a guy, the girl he cheated on me with and a chance to start over. He could fuck, I could be free and a desert would separate me from my jaded past. Maybe it wasn't too late to have hope for the future.

Renee cried when I boarded the plane. I texted Jess before take-off.

I said good-bye to responsible Bella and I laughed when I watched the reply message that buzzed to life over the screen of my cell phone.

_Watch out, Forks. Bad-Bella-Swan is coming to town. XOXOX Jess_

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A/N: I bow before the goddess of Brits23, author of this glorious Twific: Show and Don't Tell. Brit has endured countless revisions and an end less source of inspiration. Brit- You ARE perfection.

Dedicated to: Matthew, my mate, my inspiration, my Edward.

Do you want more? Feed me blood. Aka reviews :P


	2. Homecoming

Twilight: Not Mine!

Chapter One: Homecoming

BPOV

I was already settled in within the first few days of living with Charlie, sporting a new-old ride and registered into Forks High School. My Dad was nothing if not efficient. Charlie had a no-nonsense approach to getting things in order. He certainly didn't want me hanging around the house by myself, waiting for all the necessary paperwork to be processed before I could start classes.

Forks High was on spring break and the huge, old brick monstrosity of a building was virtually empty, running on skeleton crew. With class schedule and parking permit in hand, the countdown had begun. I had a little less than a week to mentally prepare myself for being the _new girl_. I felt like a carnival gold fish sitting in a plastic bag of stale water, hoping I would get passed by and go belly up quietly, rather than end up as a feeder for an even larger tank.

I didn't do "new_"_ very well.

Anxiety was already welling up inside of me. I had one, real saving grace. Jessica. My long distance best friend was going to be home in two days from visiting her grandparents in New York. I couldn't wait to see her again and finally transubstantiate our bond from far away to up close and personal.

I hoped that we would share some of the same classes and that her friends, Lauren and Angela, would welcome me into the clutch. I wanted to meet Mike Newton and finally get to check out the guy that had Jessica practically fucking panty-bunched every time he spoke a word to her. I remember what that feeling was like. It was the same way I felt when I was around James.

"_I should be done in plenty of time, Bells-baby. I'll get a few hours of study time in with my lab partner and be right there to pick you up for the movie. You still want to go, right?" James flashed those baby-blue eyes at me and I could feel my knees go weak._

"_Yeah. Eight-o-clock." I tried to sound confident and nonchalant. I never was any good at lying about the way I felt; I really wasn't the confident type. _And_ I wasn't much for this new lab partner James had been assigned. Every time he mentioned Victoria, his teeth would drag against his lower lip and I would feel the knot in my stomach tighten and tug on every vital organ._

_James leaned down to kiss me, his hand drawing around the back of my neck, ensnaring some of the dark hair that slid out of the confines of my pony-tail. When I gasped softly against him, I could taste cherry-flavored-lip smacker-lip-gloss. My mind was playing tricks on me._

"_Stay sexy, kitten." He winked and stepped away from me, taking a long glance at me, as he stood in the hallway by the girl's locker room. _

_All of the other girls from class had gotten some water from the drinking fountain and were neatly tucked back inside, changing. I just watched him walk away, my fingernails digging against my cuticles, still wearing the blue shorts and white t-shirt of my Phoenix Tigers gym uniform. _

_When the 7-minute bell rang, I jumped out of my skin. James was long gone and the hallway leading to the Chem labs were empty. I wasn't sure where I had gone for that really long moment, but when I checked back into reality, I swore I could still taste cherry all over my mouth._

"Earth to Bells, what do you think? Look straight to you?" Charlie must have called to me a few times as he strained to see the windshield from the outside in. He was half leaning out of my new-old red Chevy truck that was parked in the driveway.

I was huddled in my jacket, standing like a statue on the back porch, absently watching nothing but the memories flashing through my mind. My Dad had taken it upon himself to affix the Forks High parking permit to the window of the truck he bought for me. He liked things to look official.

"Yeah Dad. Looks straight as an arrow." I gave him the thumbs up and he smiled beneath his dark mustache. For a second he reminded me of the pictures my mom kept around the house of the both of them when they were young. Probably _too_ young to have been parents. It just goes to show how one decision you make can change your life forever. For Charlie and Renee, it was having me.

It begs the question, how will things turn out for me? Will I always wonder what would have been, if James had never…

"You alright, Kidd-o?" Charlie was in front of me, wiping his hands off on an old car-worn rag. He was avoiding the fresh oil spots on the black smudged fabric.

"Great, Dad," I smiled, shivering beneath my jacket. After spending a lifetime in Phoenix, the frigid pacific-northwest was going to whip my ass. "Thanks for putting the sticker on. And the Oil change, I'm guessing."

"Well, Billy said the truck hasn't been driven in a while. The last time it had a proper oil change was when Jacob rebuilt the engine on her." Why were cars and trucks always referred to in the female tense? Maybe because they required so much maintenance.

"Wow, Jake did all that?" I hadn't seen Jacob since the last time I was in Forks over the summer, two years ago. He was the only other person besides Jess that I knew here. His father, Billy, (delete extra space) and Charlie had been best friends all of their lives.

"Yeah. He's a good kid. Shooting up like a sprout." Charlie shook his head. "Hey, how about I get all cleaned up and we hit the diner for some dinner?"

"That sounds great. But let me drive." I smiled. Charlie knew I hated being escorted around in his police cruiser. Too much attention.

I gave a look over the old Chevy truck that was going to be my personal freedom-ride. It was a weather beaten monster with a full metal smile and tons of character. It was just my style and probably the best gift Charlie had ever given me.

"Deal," he agreed sheepishly. Without another word, he went inside and closed the door behind him, giving me a brief reprieve to study the world around me. Luckily, my dad didn't like to hover.

****

Two days of absolute boredom flew by. I was counting down the minutes till Jess was back in town, ready to rescue me from the inane.

I waited anxiously by the front door, biting the edge of my nail out of habit. Every time a car passed by, I threw my eyes to the front window, practically tripping over myself while looking for Jessica's car. Two days went by so slowly in this town. I wasn't the 'venture out on my own' type.

"Bells, you're gonna wear a hole in the carpet if you keep pacing like that,"Charlie chuckled, leaning his shoulder on the wall that lead out from the kitchen. "Come on, you've only been cooped up with me for a few days and already your chomping at the bit to get out?"

I rolled my eyes, another habit of mine. "No, Dad. Just looking forward to seeing Jess and finally getting some normalcy in my life."

"Oh, and I'm not normal?" He was baiting me.

"Don't start with me," I sighed with annoyance. I bolted back to the window at the sound of another car. The turn signal was on and I could see a shock of blonde hair behind the wheel. Finally, my long distance best friend was about to be up close and personal. "Thank God, she's here!"

I had the front door open before Jess even had the car in park. The last time I had seen her was during the summer. Six months ago. As she stepped out onto the freshly salted driveway, I couldn't help but smile. She looked great, far more stylish than I remember seeing her. Jessica's long blonde hair was primped and wavy, falling in long curls over her sunglasses. The jacket she wore was tapered to her shape.

Suddenly, I understood what went through the minds of all the adults in my life when encountering a friend they hadn't seen for years. It was like time was passing by, precious and fleeting. I don't know why, but I kind of felt…_old._

"Bella!" Jess squealed as she stepped past the open portal, finding me there. In a single second I went from anxious to overly joyful. We grabbed each other up in a tight, solid hug. I don't know who started jumping around like a fan-girl first, but we were both practically airborne.

"Jess! Oh my god you look great!" I howled, nearly doubling over.

"Me? Oh, my god, look at you! You are so skinny! I would totally die for your curves!"

"Oh my god, I am going to be sick," Charlie chuckled, shaking his head like our shrieks hurt him.

"Oh, hi Chief Swan," Jessica laughed, giving a short, fast wave to my dad at the other end of the room.

"Jessica. Good to see you,"Charlie nodded, watching me grab my overnight duffel. "So, what's on the agenda for the next two days?"

I had been waiting for the investigative search, and here it came.

Jessica lifted her sunglasses into her hair and took a deep breath. "Well, this afternoon we are going to go clothes shopping up in Port Angeles and tonight we will probably sit around and gossip. Maybe we could do make-over's!"

I rolled my eyes again. Charlie was still waiting, his arms now crossed over his chest.

"Oh and tomorrow we were going to do the mall and maybe a movie. I think my parents want to take us out to dinner too. What time does Bella have to be home on Sunday?" Jessica asked, seeming to derail her own train of thought.

"Afternoon would be best. I'd like to spend some time discussing the rules of the school year before classes start on Monday," Charlie dictated, his cautionary police voice suddenly out in full force.

"Okay, Chief Swan," Jess nodded. I moved in closer to the door.

"Jessica, your parents are going to be home all weekend?" Charlie asked, stopping me in my tracks.

"Well I don't know about during the day, but they usually don't go too far. Of course…" Jess was ready to give the long end of her explanation but hands were going up in defeat.

"Alright, I get it." Charlie was already sighing, clearly at his limit of patience with teenage girls.

Jess shrugged her shoulders and swirled her car keys around her finger. She was seemingly oblivious to the annoyance her vocal pattern created in Charlie. The situation was on the border of comical.

"Can we go now, Dad?" I was getting antsy to get out of the house.

"Yes you can go. I won't tell you when to call me but I expect to hear from you. Don't make me take a ride out to the Stanley's new place." Charlie was giving me the parental eye. "I'll have my cell phone on me but if I'm out of range and down at the Reservation with Billy, you can have the barracks page me through my link up."

"Alright, Dad. I'm not eight years old anymore," I grunted. Now, Charlie was just pissing me off.

"No, it's worse. You're seventeen. I've helped scrape enough kids your age off the pavement, drinking and driving."

"Don't worry Chief Swan, We will totally be on our best behavior," Jess promised, that sweet-as-an-angel lilt to her voice.

Everything went quiet with the exception of my best friend popping her gum repeatedly. After a long, fully assessing moment, Charlie nodded his head.

"Have fun, girls."

We were out of the door in a shot, the screen still vibrating as we tore down the small de-iced pathway to her car. With a roar of the engine, we made our escape.

I fidgeted in my seat as Jess smoothed her sunglasses back over her eyes. Before we had gotten too far, she turned to glance at me briefly, a wicked grin set over her frosted lips.

"So, Bella…you want to know what we're _really_ doing this weekend?"

*

My mouth hung open as Jess promptly informed me of the night she _actually_ had in store for us--a party in Port Angeles. And here Jess had convinced both Charlie and me that this was going to be some shopping filled, Cosmo reading, get-to-know each other all over again kind of a weekend. _Damn, she was good._

"Why didn't you tell me we were hitting a party? I didn't pack anything worthwhile!" I protested excitedly. I didn't really have any _party _clothes. I was more of a jeans and comfy shirt kind of girl.

"Bella, you can't lie for shit and you know it!" Jess giggled, adjusting her hair in the mirror and casting me a glance over her sunglasses. "If I would have told you, the game would have been hella-over. Besides, if Charlie took a peek at what you packed, he totally would have known we wouldn't be around the house much."

I voiced my thought from moments ago. "Damn your good! But, how are we getting around your parents?" _Oh damn, what if Charlie called the house looking for me? What if he stopped by?_

"My parents and my brother totally left for Seattle this morning to check out the University there. They won't be back till tomorrow and they think that I'm staying at _your_ house." Her voice was a completely self-satisfied giggle.

"But what if they call my house, or Charlie calls over to yours?" I bit the edge of my lip, anxious to hear her reply.

"I copied the message from the answering machine at home and forwarded the calls from the house to my cell phone. As far as calling your dad, come on! As far as they know I'm as safe as a kitten. I _am_ crashing at the home of the Chief of Police, after all. Believe me Bells, we are totally covered!" She was obviously pleased with her dastardly plan.

"Maybe we should just skip the party?" I probably sounded like Charlie now.

"Oh hell no." Jess pushed the gas and we were flying down the only main highway out of Forks. "We are bringing Bad-Bella Swan out to play. After what James did to you, you deserve a night out. You never know, you might even hook up with someone so hot he can finally fuck that heartbreak right out of you. Don't worry about a thing, Bella. Your best friend has this all under control."

Just the mention of James, made that fire of injustice deep inside of me spring to life. I wanted to forget the rules, forget the past and strike out like a tiger in a cage. I wanted to push against the bars until they broke open and granted me my freedom. I didn't belong to James anymore.

_"You will always be mine, baby. We have our whole fucking lives ahead of us." When James purred like that, I couldn't resist. He was half naked on the bed, dark blue jeans hanging dangerously open, arms outstretched to welcome me in._

_"Come here, baby-girl," he crooned, pale blue eyes half lidded with anticipation. I watched him lick his lips as I slowly crossed the distance between us. "I think I want to tie you up and watch you squirm, tonight."_

Captivity never suited me. So, why did I feel like my hands were still bound?

It was enough to make me choke on my own spit.

"I'm down. But first, we need to go shopping." A cold smile trickled across my lips. _You only live once. If we got caught, my life expectancy was going to drop to zero._

"That's my girl! Let's do this!" Jess turned up the music and it pumped loudly out of her custom speaker system.

We were flying down the road like hell itself was chasing us. And every mile over the speed-limit we went, I was leaving responsible Bella behind.

**

Jessica killed the headlights, parking alongside the curb. There must have been twenty other cars lining the incredibly long driveway of the most extravagant house I had ever seen. Every light in the place seemed to be on and the music was loud enough to echo through the surrounding woods. The location was perfect, in the middle of nowhere and on the outskirts of Port Angeles. There wasn't a neighbor around for miles in either direction.

I cast a furtive glance at Jess as she leaned into the rear view mirror, slathering another coating of glossy lip color over the lacquer she already had there. Sunglasses left dangling in the window from the crystal heart chain off the mirror, my best friend primped herself like a model.

"Exactly who do we know here to get into this party?" I asked, running a hand through my long dark hair, the ends feathering down my shoulders.

"I told you before; it's my cousin Laurent. We aren't crashing the scene or anything, Bells!" Jess giggled, handing over her gloss to me. I had refused all attempts to let Jessica make me up. Other than a touch of mascara and eyeliner, I preferred to go more natural. But the gloss, I could make an exception for.

"It was kind of hard to hear you from the dressing room." I rolled my eyes, parting my lips and leaning in to share the mirror with Jess. A swift application of the high-shine clear coat and I puckered my lips, setting the shimmer in place.

"It was worth it, you look hot," she praised, my best friend giving me the confidence boost I needed.

I handed the gloss back to her and she tossed it into her messenger bag. She rummaged around in the large confines for awhile until finally withdrawing her cell phone and leaning her hips up to press it into her back pocket.

"Oh, I almost forgot." Jess reached into the magic bag of tricks again. This time, she produced two small flasks, offering one to me. "I never trust liquor someone else is making. Not with all that date-rape shit they drill into your head in health class. So, I pilfered some Bacardi 151 from my dad's stash."

_Bacardi 151? As in one-hundred-fifty-one-proof_? It was a good thing the flasks were small because that was the kind of shit that could seriously knock you on your ass. Not that I was a heavy drinker, but I knew a little more than I probably should.

Still, it was good looking out on her part. I accepted the flask and leaned forward, pressing the slim fit into my already skinny-tight jeans. "Well a girl can't be too careful, right?"

"Exactly." Jess was smiling like the Cheshire cat, tossing her keys into the zippered safety of an inner pocket in her messenger bag.

I took a deep breath and reached for the door handle.

"Oh shit, I almost forgot. Speaking of safety!" She rummaged through the magic bag of unending quantity and pulled out a small black box. Without hesitation, she tore it open and I could just make out the gold writing from the house-light reflection.

_Magnum_. Jessica had enough forethought, or at least hopeful inspiration, to bring a box of condoms.

With deft hands, she withdrew the compact package and tore the line of six individually wrapped parcels in half. Handing three over to me, I was thankful for the quasi-darkness so Jess wouldn't see me blushing as hard as I felt I was. I hadn't had sex, since James. A month ago.

At least one of us was hopeful enough that I might get laid again. Maybe the Depo-Provera shot wasn't a total waste after all. But, I wasn't really the one-nighter type of girl. I was into monogamy, and a firm believer of love and sex going hand in hand.

Then again, I _had _been fool enough to think that a guy would never cheat on me. I was never shy about sex with James. I thought I gave him everything he could have ever wanted. Apparently, I just wasn't his _soul mate_. Or at least, that was the bullshit line of justification he tried to feed me. Well, I wasn't biting.

What the fuck does a seventeen-year-old know about soul mates anyway?

I tightened my jaw, biting my tongue from having a hissy fit of frustration. With anger-shaking hands, I took the three condoms and folded them up, sliding them into my side pocket, forcefully.

Jess put her hand on my arm and I turned my blazing dark brown eyes to her pale blue orbs. "Bella, whatever the real reason James did this to you, it doesn't matter. Take back your life, girl."

Was I that damn transparent?

"Yeah, I intend to." I tried to give her a reassuring smile. "And if I don't say it later, I want to make sure I get it out there now. Thanks, Jess. For everything, including tonight."

"You're welcome," she trilled happily. And just like that, the crisis was solved. We weren't getting our rite of passage accomplished by sitting in the car. Jessica and I moved in tandem, making our way to the brightly lit, secluded house where the sound of youth and decadence washed away purity and shame.

I was Bad-Bella-Swan.

Tonight, I was starting over.

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A/N: I bow before the goddess of Brits23, author of this glorious Twific: Show and Don't Tell. **Brit has endured countless revisions and remained an endless source of inspiration. Brit- You ARE perfection.**

**Dedicated to: Matthew, my mate, my inspiration, my Edward.**

**Do you want more? Feed me blood. Aka reviews :P **


	3. Scent and Sensibility

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight!

Chapter 2: Scent and Sensibility

EPOV

Bodies grinding to the tribal beat that vibrated through the room, swaying hypnotically. Some were more subtle than others, a casual sway of the hips or a rhythmic nod of the head. Girls beckoned with a shift of denim clad thighs. Guys answered, with straightened spines and dilated eyes.

It looked simple enough, really. A soft flush and parted lips from a pretty girl standing in a protective clutch of females. Her eyes gently lowering to cast her glance beneath the coyness of painted lashes. A guy across the way, clutching a red solo cup of courage making his way through the herd, alone, to get closer to her.

It was happening all over the room. And the stakes would get progressively higher as alcohol was introduced into the mix. Inhibitions would be lowered, the barriers between civilized mating ritual and primal instinct would ante-up another round.

Just like every party, the hunt was already in motion. Predator and prey. Territory was being marked. The herd was being thinned. The inevitable fights would break out. All of this in the name of a fuck.

I was fascinated with the psychology of it all. I considered myself an observer, where once I had been an avid practitioner of the hunt.

In my own testosterone-driven state, I never stopped to acknowledge the subtle nuances in that single moment of target selection. The way my pretty-prey would bat her lashes and set the challenge, I was merely following the cues. I never was the _true_ initiator.

Perhaps that was the reason that predator instinct never felt entirely right to me. Once I locked eyes with my evening meal, it was a matter of moments before she was naked and panting below me…begging for my dick, aching for my cum.

A sniff, a scratch. It was over. Well, wait. Not exactly that fast. I am Edward-fucking-Cullen, after all.

I took a heavy pull off the fifth of Jack clutched in my hand, my eyes raking over the scenes floating from corner to corner of the living room. The scent of lust was like a signal, a pheromone-flag waving in the breeze. I couldn't help but chuckle.

Every innocent eye, every doleful and skittish movement these little women tossed into the room made me shake my head. Guys think they have it under control, believing that the hunt is all about them. Watching these women, it was tragically clear that the male species was _led_ to believe it. We were fucking ensnared. _We _were the prey.

I nestled into my spot at Laurent's little shindig. The same place I occupied for every major event his absentee parents didn't know about. I was close enough to the action to feel like I was still hunting, sly little smiles dripping past me in silent invitation for a fast-fuck. Yet, I was far enough back to hold my space. My little perimeter-void that kept anyone from coming closer than wanted.

The party raged on and I burned through a half of my flask. I cast a glance around me for my brother, Emmett, wondering what corner of the house he had decided to capture Rosalie Hale up against this time. Those two were just fucking insatiable. You would think after a year of monogamy, the sparkle would have worn off that girl by now.

I was just about to give up looking for Emmett when I cast my eyes at the door. I cringed in reflex. _Shit._

Jessica Stanley. What the hell was she doing here in Port Angeles? I had to endure four years in Forks High and her constant flirting with me, but this was the first event I had seen her at. I knew she was Laurent's cousin and sooner or later it was bound to happen, but that didn't mean I was prepared for it.

It's not that she wasn't pretty, in a desperate kind of way. I could find beauty in any woman, given enough time. But this was different. Jessica was a collector of status-symbols. A fast-fuck failed to entice me. I had no intention of becoming a notch on her bedpost or adding her to my own impressive collection.

I sank down into my spot, making sure to avoid detection. Before I could completely submerge myself, something luscious caught my gaze. Connected to Jessica Stanley by entwined fingers was a gorgeous, straight-spine girl in skinny-tight jeans and a corset laced top. Long, dark hair hung down the girls back in a wave, moving on some unfelt breeze like a cascade. Eyes like Odin's Rune--chocolate dark and empty/full--scanned the area with passive-aggressive glory.

If Jessica had found herself a hot lipstick-girlfriend, she would move up to _almost_ human in my book. Provided I could watch and flick one off the wrist , that is.

I derailed my own train of thought, cursing under my breath. _Why did I have to be…_

Eyes.

Every male between two rooms stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to _her_. The brunette nymph with her kohl-lined eyes was the sudden center of attention. Somewhere in my head I thought I heard a horn trumpeting out a call-to-arms. Denim clad weapons raised like a war-banner.

If my saliva was venom, I would spit into the face of every sac-swollen little boy in this room. I swallowed back my instant fascination, drinking the acrid poison as I surveyed every cock-carrying adversary within two rooms.

_Cullen, you've got no right…._

Jessica smiled reassuringly and released the grip on her companion's fingers. They parted ways. I barely caught a glimpse of Laurent, with his pale face and skater-emo hair cut, drawing his cousin into a welcoming embrace.

My focus was elsewhere. The long-haired girl was moving, her hips sashaying like an 80's metal video-vixen. She was without estrogen-protection. Free from the clutch. It took seconds before some buff-jock stereotype was trying to hand her a cold keg drink, blocking her path through the enormous living room. The girl stopped like an attentive feline with ears twitching, shaking her head in a shockwave of mahogany.

I felt the smirk lift the edge of my lips. Single-minded male mentality was like fucking E.S.P. I could call the play-by-play as well as any CBS Sunday-night football announcer. Defense was scrambling to stop the invasion from breaking through to the end zone.

The girl moved closer to me, past the blockade sent to halt her offense. She was stealthy and smiling like a predator, eyeing the offerings of flesh in front of her with graciously concealed judgment.

When her chocolate-eyes caught mine, her shield was deflected. This was no vestal-virgin. The girl was a bitter-harpy bent on vindication. Cock had _wronged her _and she was looking for someone to make an example of. That pretty high-gloss mouth wasn't looking to slurp, she wanted to bite off the offending male appendage and lick her wounds of the taste.

I knew women. More than just nameless faces passing my bed or a would-be plague of foolhardy love. I had a younger sister. I was versed in aggravated female damage.

None of the little-leaguers here were even close to stealthy-cat-girls' caliber. And with only one head functioning at a time, they were blind to the venom in that lacquered smile.

The collective maleness of the room spoke volumes. Every would-be champion was ready to stare down the eyes of this Medusa just for the pleasure of letting her turn their dicks to stone.

I tipped my flask back, never removing my eyes from the curvy brunette. I watched her shoulders tense and her lips part, softly. Her eyes were like metal under my magnetism, she couldn't fight the pull. Dark chocolate dilated and my nostrils flared.

I could fucking smell her. Tangerines and honey.

She took a step toward me and I was out of my seat, my body propelled itself forward, lean muscle and sinew suddenly electric-shocked and coiled to pounce. I wanted a fist-full of her hair and my teeth in her neck.

The girl arched a step back from me, her eyes wide and locked into mine. She wasn't a bitter-harpy. There was injury in her orbs, the frayed-edge of innocence. Something about me, frightened her. Fuck, I was even scaring myself.

I wanted to hurt her.

I wanted to heal her.

I didn't know her.

But I wanted to.

The little provocateur gasped and I watched her throat constrict. Emotions flashed over her dark eyes like movie scenes. I was ready to pay admission just for the coming attractions.

The girl's ass hit the couch when she backed up again, trapping herself. I cleared another step toward her and that too-pale face flushed with temperature. I dragged in an unsteady breath and tasted the air for her.

Tangerine. Honey. Wet-Wildflowers.

My cock twitched. The she-devil smiled. Her courage was back.

Or at least, her stealth was. In the breath it took me to close the distance, she was moving through the male bodies that pressed too close, finding purchase for her little frame. She bounded out of my reach like a gazelle through the underbrush. I wanted to roar in frustration.

I turned to look for her and there was nothing but a faint trail of her scent. I fisted my hand around the soft linen of the couch she had been leaning on and my mind clicked back into place.

What the fuck had just happened to me? I shook my head, the ebb of suddenly heightened senses falling back into the ether beneath my bones.

I chastised myself, feeling the faint ache of something clawing inside of me. I wasn't _that_ guy--the one that broke promises for a fleeting feast. I was level, self controlled, and honorable.

_Cool it, Cullen._

I needed an exit, fast. Flask in hand, I moved through a sea of glaring-predator eyes. I trudged two flights of stairs to the safety of Laurent's room. This floor was off limits to the party, but not to me.

I set my drink down on the dresser and shut the bedroom door, caging myself in. I started to pace, raking my hands through my already wild hair. My lips wordlessly claimed a worried mantra.

_What the fuck was going on with me?_

_**_

BPOV

I ran for my life.

Once Jessica disentangled herself from me to see her cousin Laurent, I knew I had to venture out on my own. This was a new place, filled with new faces, and I was determined to leave that careful, predetermined, good girl Bella behind. For now.

I wanted to be bad, to hurt James because he hurt me. Of course, he would never know about it and probably wouldn't care if he did. But I was going to betray his memory and dig my nails into the first delicious piece of man-steak on legs I could get my hands on.

Really, I wasn't _that_ kind of girl. But if I pretended hard enough that I was, I knew I could be.

My hips swayed a path through burgundy football varsity jackets, halting my almost stealthy moves as a tall, thick jock blocked my path. His cream colored leather sleeves were outstretched, a drink in his hand as a gift to me. I declined, with as much of a smile as I could muster.

I realized then, eyes were all over me. It was as liberating as it was unnerving. I felt my smile grow wider, because I was ready to be bad.

Then, I saw _him_.

A shadow of a figure shifting through a bleary-temporal void in the corner of the living room with eyes so green they were practically glowing. The heat that rolled off that verdant gaze made me smolder and my breath caught on my lips, instantly.

He was the most gorgeous creature I had ever witnessed. Wild bronze hair in complete disarray made him look like he had just fucked his way out of a fashion magazine and into the real world. Emerald eyes half lidded and I watched him, watching me. Lush lips parted for a fast breath and I was already taking a step closer.

Magnetic. The pull of his gaze locked me in place and he was up like a jungle-cat. Black non-descript tee shirt clinging to his body, teasing the musculature of his torso, playing peek-a-boo with every hidden indent. Ebony jeans wrapped around him like a lover, hugging his firm man-thick thighs.

My ribcage wracked and the thunder of my heart pushed against my bones. I watched his gaze darken, hooding over with something primal enough to make me step back until my ass met the couch behind me. I was trapped, afraid and enticed. Fight or flight. Fuck or run.

His nostrils flared and I gasped, a wave of his scent falling over me like a tide. Sun, salt-water and freshly cured leather. My courage fled me even as a sudden heat consumed me. My thighs burned to overlap his perfect fucking hips. I was scaring myself.

His eyes _burned_ me and I shivered like a cauterized wound, red flesh singed and agonized. I wanted him to rub the tender skin, make it hurt and lick it better- that perfect fucking mouth glistening with my blood and lust.

Oh god, where did that come from? I felt my back arch and my stalking jungle-cat started to close the distance between us. The smile marked my lips before I realized it had materialized. I wanted him. But I wasn't giving in that easily.

Walking contradiction. I chastised myself even as I evaded through the packed bodies in the living room. I was overcome with desire, fear, lust, and memory. I forgot how to breathe and when my back hit the wall, I drew up my flask to take a shot of one-fifty-one courage.

_What do I do now, when I just high-tailed it away from that steak-on-legs I was hungry for? _

The kitchen was a safe haven at the very end of an expansive house. No one was in here with me, so I took a moment to steel my nerves. My hands sought the cold comfort of the marble slap countertop in the very epicenter of the enormous cooking space. It was cold and comfortable and I let my head rest on it, shielding my flushed face in my hair.

I had to go out and find him, face him again. I was bold-Bella, after all. I was bad-girl reborn and if pretty boy with the feral eyes wanted to gnash teeth, then I was going to feast until I was fed.

Before I could do that, I had to find a bathroom. I needed a cold splash of water on the back of my neck and a place to clean off the wet heat that pooled in between my legs. I wasn't going to face him like an hors d'oevre.

I was going to have my steak dinner.

*

Had it been two hours already?

Procrastination was an art form I had gleaned to a science. I swallowed more and more liquid courage until I could hear the party growing increasingly less noisy. It was either in its last throes or the patrons had started the pairing-off process that would lead to an increased sale of morning-after pills.

I put this off long enough. I had scoured every inch of the perfectly desolate kitchen, nosing my way around the corners, opening cabinets and pantries with omniscient eyes.

Finally, one of the doors I pulled open, made me smile deviously. A stairway, hidden perfectly in the wall, behind the wooden edifice. Where did it lead? How much longer could I delay sex-kitten-Bella from pretty-boy with the dangerous green eyes?

I slipped my flask in my back pocket and ascended the stairs to nowhere. Light filtered down from the first landing and I could hear the unmistakable sound of pleasure-seeking. God, it had been so long since those noises were nurtured from my lips that I could almost taste the pheromones in the air.

Closing off my breathing, I slipped between shadows to the second landing. The stairs ended here and I paused to listen for the sound of sexual commotion. Nothing. This area was clean as a whistle and probably off limits. Maybe it was the bedroom wing of this crazy, expensive house.

I stepped through the portal and the hall lights were on. Six doors were in my field of vision. Two on the left and right and one down either end of the hall. I could spy a dark area just beyond the furthest door and realized it must have been the main set of stairs leading down to the bottom floor.

Well, better late than never. I decided to find a bathroom and refresh myself. I went to the first door and turned the handle. It caught instantly, locked. The next, the same. I pried at each portal like goldilocks taste-testing for the perfect porridge.

_Locked. Locked. Just right._

The handle gave way and the door opened with a soft audible creaking sound. I hunched down, trying to take a peek through the black shadows like some kind of stealthy burglar. Everything seemed clear. I hoped for a bathroom access.

What I got was a strong scent of sand, sun and freshly cured leather.

My shivering hand groped along the cold wall, in the dark, looking for a light switch. Brilliant illumination flooded the room and my eyes squinted in retaliation.

"You," a low, venomous hiss of a word hung in the air like an accusation. The inflection made me quiver.

Dinner was served.

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A/N: I bow before the goddess of Brits23, author of this glorious Twific: Show and Don't Tell.

Brit- You ARE perfection.

Dedicated to: Matthew, my mate, my inspiration, my Edward.

Do you want more? Feed me blood. Aka reviews :P


	4. You

Disclaimer: All Twilight and respective characters belong to Stephanie Meyers.

Chapter 3: You.

EPOV

I was in a place of calm. The momentary lapse of reason had taken almost two hours to finally abate. Still, it was a success. I was myself again.

Exhausted from mentally wrestling with myself, I decided to forgo the remainder of the party and take refuge here, in Laurent's room. I nestled onto my side, drawing one of the many pillows beneath the crook of my arm to cradle my head with.

Sweet, blissful relaxation.

In a state of near sleep, the faint jostling sound of the metal door knob made me slit my eyes. Was the owner of the room back to claim it? Had I fallen into the void of darkness and lost track of time?

The portal parted with a slow creak and I propped my head up, trying to shake off the exhaustion that whispered sweet nothings into my soul. My cheek braced my flattened palm.

_Tangerine. Honey._

The light flicked on but my eyes stayed straight to my target, all threat of tiredness ebbed from my body with a single push of my heart. I burned like wild-fire and locked myself to chocolate-eyes.

"You." The words left my lips like an accusation.

I was already sitting up, that clawing sensation beneath the surface of my skin, ripping me in two. My proper-fucking-pedigree left me. Instinct took over.

Her bewildered squint slowly widened, watching me and petal soft lips parted to pass uneven breath. Shocks of long, dark hair trembled down her shoulders. She was wearing a deep blue, body-hugging, long sleeved shirt.

_Fuck_. I could see the outline of her hard nipples and the hot swell of her perfect breasts. I wanted to bite, lick, suck, fuck those perky tits and cover them with my scent.

The girl bit into her glossy lower lip with the white of her teeth. I moved in toward her with stalking slow steps. Her gorgeous flush turned pale skin a shade of perfect pink. There was no going back now. Gentleman Edward faded to black and in the wake of shadow, something shifted.

A snarl passed my mouth. It felt so fucking _right_.

Her back arched along the cold wall in reply. _This bitch was baiting me._

"Me?" Her voice was a low, sultry whisper. Her hands pressed like claws against the paint.

"Don't play coy with me." I wanted her to run away. To end this torment and give me back control of myself.

The vixen-she-devil laughed mockingly and pushed off of the wall. I closed my hand against the paint just a second too late to trap her. Beautiful little fissures bruised the ice blue wall where my knuckles connected. Stealthy-cat was living up to her moniker.

I stood stone still, watching her. The scent of wet-wildflowers hit me and I shook my neck from side to side, satisfied with the crack of bone reverberating through my ears. Her dark eyes held mine and she reached for the door, tormented innocence flashing across her features in a moment of weakness.

My body propelled forward, my hand shutting the only exit. She turned, her spine and palms flat against the wooden barricade. I captured her against my body. There would be no escape the second time around.

I sniffed the air around her, audibly, no longer giving a shit about propriety. My body trapped her and the scent grew stronger. The intensity hit me like a brick wall and my hand kept itself pressed to the door, daring her to try and break my brute force.

Wet-wildflowers, strong and deep made my breath hiss. The girl shifted against the door, those long legs parting.

My dick twitched and I knew the answer to every fucking question ever asked. I let the power of scent drag me down and bury me. Heavy sniffling breaths forced me to hunch, forced me to my knees. Her tits, her torso, her belly-button. The more south I slid the sharper the aroma. I tracked her scent directly to the fucking source.

I gripped her hips, dragging her toward me.

There, at the core of her body, wet-wildflowers became lust. _Fuck_. She was ripe for a mating.

My nose slid along her pelvic bone before dragging across denim. _Right fucking there_. I felt her gasp when my nose pressed against the seam of her jeans, forcing hard material against her clit.

Her hiss made my dick leak. My tongue licked up and down her stitched seam. I drank her scent in and forced her thighs apart with my strong hands.

"Tell me you want my cock," I hissed, looking up-over her flat belly and into her half lidded eyes. I grazed teeth over denim and her back flexed into the door.

Her whimper caught me off guard, my hard enamel catching on coarse material. God, I wanted to tongue her and feel her press her pussy against my face. Her scent was like liquid nitrogen.

"Answer me!" I growled on my knees, my tongue flat against the seam that ran so damn deep between her spread thighs. I wanted to drink her until her pussy ran dry.

"Yes…" the she-devil bit back a throaty moan. Her hands slid into my hair, tugging wayward bronze and making me bite into her denim covered cunt. "Please…"

_She. Fucking. Begged._

All reason left me. I rose up against her, forcing my palms flat to the door. I trapped her and pressed my aching dick into the hollow of her thigh. My hips bucked, rubbing against her like an animal marking territory, growling at the painful friction of my too-tight jeans.

"Please, what?" My hot breath moistened her flesh, splaying across her neck. My prey pressed her hips against me, arching one leg over my knee. My teeth found her upright-tilted jaw, capturing the flesh and bone.

"Fuck me." Her hand slid down between our pressed bodies, palming my dick through my jeans. I released my teeth from her jaw and growled.

**

BPOV

I couldn't breathe.

My back arched against the door, hips puckered out and caught in sexy-boy's incredibly strong grip. There he was, on his knees, after sniffing his way down my body to the very source of all of my desire. He was a starving jungle-cat, lapping at my denim covered need, desperate to make me his meal.

I had never been more turned on in my life.

My hands fisted in soft bronze. His teeth pinched at my swollen clit through the seam, making me ride out every gasp. I was dizzy with desire, suffocating on sun, sand and the scent of his leather musk.

I begged him for more.

I had never begged for anything in my life.

In a sultry-second, sexy-boy was off his knees and pinning me against the door, rewarding my omission with the force of his body. He rubbed his straining cock against the hollow of my thigh and I made desperate, unfamiliar sounds.

He growled.

I hissed.

My panties were soaked.

His teeth found my jaw and I bucked against his rubbing cock, wrapping my leg around his knee. I wanted him to collapse into me. And he did, the moment my hand slid between our tightly pressed bodies and palmed that massive weapon buried in unsuspecting denim.

_God damn, he was thick. _

My fingers trailed out to follow the curve of him and he groaned, rubbing himself into my hand. Across his thigh I felt the fleshy tip move under his jeans, twitching for me, dripping for me.

Christ, I wasn't the only one wetting myself with need. Sexy-boy soaked through the coarse material, the stickiness of his pre-cum was all over my fingers. I moaned so hard, I scared myself.

His forehead pressed against mine and I was drowning in a sea of darkening emeralds. The world disappeared. There was only my hand and his cock and the hot grind of his hips that made me ache to feel him inside of me.

Hot, panting breath moistened my skin and my tongue tasted his parted lips. His head tilted and his teeth snapped. He captured my lower lip, tugging so gently, it made my mouth ache. I whimpered against him.

With a sharp pull, his hands yanked my hips off of the door, dragging me against his body. My hand left his cock and braced on his shoulder for support. Firm forearms pressed into my back, capturing me tight against him.

His eyes never left mine.

I rubbed my hips into his and he released my lower lip, a steady guttural growl vibrated through his chest. I whimpered when he stepped back, hollow with the loss of contact.

A shivering breath left sexy-boy's perfect lips and I wanted to crash myself into his warm body again. His fingers brushed the swell of my breast, teasing my hard nipple. I reached for him and he grabbed my wrist.

It didn't take a second and he was tugging my too-tight top off, discarding the material on the floor. His own black tee followed and he stepped back, devouring the sight of me shaking in my light blue lacy bra.

My dark hair cascaded all around me like a tidal wave. I was panting for breath.

"Take off your jeans." His voice was a sultry, low hiss.

I blushed and reached down, popping open the catch and lowering the teeth of the zipper, exposing the matching blue satin and lace of my panties.

He started rubbing himself through his jeans. His lips parted, breath coming faster as I lowered the tight material toward the ground. I had never seen anything more intense in my life. Every divot of his lean stomach muscles clenched and I heard him sniffing the air for me.

I could smell myself mixing with him, all over the room. I had never been more ready, more eager in my life.

"Come here." He hissed through clenched teeth, rubbing himself into a frenzy. I was too captivated to stop now.

I closed the distance and reached for him, my fingers shaking. He pulled me in against him, one hand winding around the back of my neck, the other pressing my hips into his.

He inhaled me deep and snarled, tilting his head and rubbing his nose along my cheek, lips trailing till I quivered into his body.

"Fuck. I could track you across a god damn desert with just that smell."

I whimpered, my hands gripping his shoulders, his neck, his hair. "Please."

His mouth claimed mine and he pulled me closer. Velvet. Hot, twining velvet. His slick tongue passed my lips and I gasped into his mouth. Slick-wet sounds filled the room as he lapped at my mouth, lips, teeth.

I was going to break if I didn't feel him. _Now_. I couldn't take anymore.

My hands moved on their own, releasing his hair and skin and sliding down his chest to the line of his jeans. He tightened his body, driving his tongue deeper into my mouth, making me arch as I parted denim like the red sea.

He broke from my mouth, licking his lips of my taste as a feral smile curled over his lips. His hand disappeared into his back pocket. Black foil passed before my eyes. "Hungry? I know I am."

He tore the package open with his teeth.

I gasped. Before I could drag his jeans down, his hand grabbed tightly at my hip, fisting the satiny-lace of my panties. I cried out when the material ripped and dragged over my skin.

It hurt.

I wanted more.

I was wet down to my thighs….

…his eyes went black.

*

EPOV

Her scent was so strong I could taste her in the air. She was everywhere.

I ripped the condom open with my teeth, spitting out the foil that remained clenched there. My last ounce of self control had disappeared. My fingers ripped her panties off of her hips and she was fucking soaked for me.

_For me._

"Take it out," I hissed. Her shaking hands gripped my jeans and boxers, tugging them down my thighs. My dick sprang free, leaking like a fucking faucet. What she did next…destroyed me.

She gripped me, thumbing over my tip. My hips bucked forward and she smiled deviously, bringing her pre-cum coated fingers to her mouth. I fucking _snarled_ at her.

I gripped myself hard, sliding the condom down my shaft and pulling her against me. Her hands wound around my neck and I took her with me when I sat myself down hard on the edge of the bed.

I fucking speared her.

Deep. Hard. Fast.

She clenched all around me in a straddle, her thighs clinging to my hips. My teeth sank into her shoulder and my forearms locked behind her back. I tasted blood and I drank it down, growling against her skin. She was so fucking _tight_.

"Oh, God!" She cried out, her hands ripping into my hair.

Her hips rocked forward and I bounced against her walls, stretching her. I fought every instinct to move, to fuck and punish and destroy her body for turning me into this.

Instead, I bit down into her shorn shoulder harder, my tongue lapping copper and liking it.

She whimpered sharply and my teeth released, my fingers tangling into her hair. She ground her tight cunt into my lap. Oh, fuck…she was almost there.

Half slit chocolate eyes locked onto mine, breath rolling too fast and shallow over her lips. She leaned down and kissed me hard, tasting her blood and skin and sweat mingle in my mouth.

This was too fucking much.

I pulled away from her mouth and she was gasping, shaking. Fuck she was so ready to cum. Not yet.

"Breathe," I whispered darkly. "You're not gonna cum until I tell you to." God, she was so fucking beautiful.

She inhaled a shaky breath and whimpered, her hands smoothing through my hair. My tongue lapped at her lower lip.

"Tell me how my cock feels inside you," I groaned, suckling that plump skin between my own. My forearms were locked behind her back and I moved her body, rocking her slowly from side to side.

"Big," she whimpered, her chin tilting up and her lip dragging away from my grip. "Thick. Oh, god. So thick."

I groaned, desperate to move. _Not yet, _I fucking _begged_ myself_. _

Separated from her mouth, my tongue lapped at her taut nipple, bound in satin and lace. She moaned, moving her hips just a little. I covered my mouth over the material, teeth grazing and tongue flicking until I heard her gasp.

She was so fucking responsive. Jesus. I was fighting the growl that built in my chest with everything I had left.

"Please…" her hips moved over me, her thighs clenching with the tension.

_I fucking loved it when she begged for my cock._

I thrust up and she bounced on my dick, thighs crashing down onto my hips. Tight. Hot. Wet. _More._

Long, dark hair fell all over my shoulders. And she started to ride _me_. Holy-fuck. This gorgeous she-demon dug her nails into my shoulders, threatening to usurp my control over her.

I growled, meeting her stroke for God damn stroke.

"More," she begged. _Again. _

I felt electricity burn through my skin and the shock of it made me grow harder inside her perfect slit. I set a hard pace and her hips screamed in fury to keep up. More, she cried. _Fuck_. I needed more too.

Her nails raked along my scalp, breaths vapid with frustration. It wasn't enough.

She felt it too. Buried to the fucking hilt and pounding into her tight slit, I couldn't get deep enough.

I turned her and she clung to me, panting and aching just as hard as I was. I drove her back against the bed, my cock throbbing with the loss of her narrow walls.

I ran my hand through my hair and spread her thighs. She was mewling like a bitch in heat, her pink swollen pussy begging to be fucked.

I had to have her and it wouldn't be gentle. It was time to make her mine.

She leaned up as I knelt between her legs and what she did next made me fucking snarl.

Her little hand gripped the latex around my dick and rolled it off, tossing it onto the God damn floor. She lay back, opening herself with her fingers, a wicked purr of frustration ripping past her lips.

"Did I fucking tell you to touch what's _mine?_" I grabbed her hand at the wrist and drove her fingers into my mouth, sucking her wetness right into my soul.

"It's not yours, yet," she _mocked_ me.

I ripped her fingers out of my lips, licking them clean of the taste and took myself in hand.

"You really shouldn't have said that," I growled sinfully.

In a single God damn thrust I felt her hips crack and knees buckle under my shoulders. She screamed, taking me hard and bare and deep as I could go.

"Fuck!" I roared, my voice heavy with desire. Her pussy was wet and slick and tight all around me. I pumped her like an animal--feeling every ridge grip me.

"Oh. God." Her voice cracked through panting breaths. The bed creaked under the force of my hips. She writhed and arched and fought for every breath.

Her hands reached for me and I covered over her, driving her wrists into the bed. My fingers entwined with hers and she moved beneath me, greedy for every sensation.

"Why do you feel…so fucking good? So fucking right?" I howled in desperation. I had never known it could be like this. The more I fought for control of myself, the further it slipped away from me.

Her gorgeous neck arched and my mouth sought hers, tongue twining as I drank every cry that passed her lips. I never wanted this to end and I hissed when I felt her body shaking…

I shifted my weight, driving my pelvic bone against her throbbing clit. She rewarded me with a whimper of pure pleasure. Fuck, she was close.

I pulled my mouth away from hers, watching her tongue lap into the air, searching for me. "Say it."

She gasped for breath, her eyes wild with need.

"Fucking say it and I will make you cum so hard…" I narrowed my assault, my dick bare and moving shallow inside of her. I felt her wet heat all over me. Her clit was throbbing beneath my pelvic bone, craving another hard push. I was so close to filling her…

"Yours!" She whimpered and I locked her eyes with my own.

"Cum for me. _Now_…" I snarled and pistoned myself deep inside of her. Her body arched, writhing all around me. Her slick walls milked my cock and I was fucking moaning almost as loudly as she was. She tumbled over, her beautiful body clenching as tears of sweet release pooled down her eyes.

I filled her with hot streams, shuddering above her, holding myself still to splash her walls white.

I pressed my forehead against her shaking neck, inhaling draughts of her skin. Our hands were still entwined, our bodies joined. The last ebb of primal knowledge slithered through my thoughts.

She smelled like me.

_Oh god. What have I done?_

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.A/N: My Glorious Beta: Brits_23, she puts the Snarl in Snarlward. Please let me shamelessly plug her amazing fic: Show and Don't Tell. Panty-bunching glory!

Reviews keep the lemon-tree sprouting.


	5. The Morning After

Disclaimer: Twilight: S. Meyer pwns all.

And so do my readers.

**Can we reach 100 reviews? **Click the button if you believe in Snarlward!

Chapter Four: The Morning After

BPOV

I didn't remember falling asleep, but the room was pitch black when I woke up. The sheets shifted with me as I turned, a silent smile breaking over my lips. The soreness between my legs ached and stretched to life with my movement. I felt kind of giddy. Stress free. Sex was always a nice way to pass the time, but pretty-boy had given me a work out. I don't think James ever made me feel….

Pretty-Sexy-boy. The memory of his chiseled face and rock hard body made me sit up, wincing slightly. Wasn't he just here a minute ago? How long had I been asleep?

My hand felt the sheets next to me, rumpled delightfully, but no _body_ was resting there. I stilled my breathing to listen. The room was quiet.

He was gone. Just like that.

_I've never had a one-night stand before. _

I wasn't really sure what to expect. This wasn't exactly a flowers-and-chocolate situation. I mean, the deed was done so why, in theory, would he stick around? Sexy-boy probably had encounters like this several times a night, a real playboy.

I felt a little jealous and even a bit angry at myself for thinking that. Why was I such a mess?

Maybe because it wasn't _just sex_ for me. It was mind-blowing, toe-curling, ride-me-hard-fun that I might have wanted to drip over to the next morning.

I groaned, falling backward into the bed, running my hands over my face and through my hair.

So, I had to admit I wasn't really _that_ in touch with my predator side. My experiment proved I was not the fuck 'em and go, kind of girl. I felt sort of empty.

At least I didn't have to do the walk of shame. Provided the third floor hadn't been invaded by the rest of the party, that is.

_No time to fall to pieces now, Bella. Get up, get dressed and get the hell out of Dodge before the owner of this bedroom comes up here and finds a naked chick curled up in his covers._

Covers. Pretty-boy had to have quilted me over before he beat feet out of here. Did we play big spoon-little spoon before he was splitting seams to rush out the door? I thought I remembered his arms around me.

I didn't have time for this. I would sort it out later. I had to get dressed, find Jess and get us the hell out of here.

At least I was sober and alright to drive. I wasn't really relishing the thought of what state I might find my best friend in.

I threw my legs over the bed and sucked back a breath. Damn, Sexy-boy had done a number on me. I could feel him dried and deliciously sticky all over my thighs, and definitely deeper in. It was a good thing I was on the birth-control shot. I hope he didn't have anything…communicable.

_Like you can do anything about it, now? Go to the clinic, get tested. Learn a damn lesson Isabella Marie. Even a pure breed dog can have fleas._

I just hoped his fleas didn't come with a gift that kept-on-giving _or_ wrapped in a three-letter abbreviation. Nowadays, pregnancy was almost the last thing to worry about after a night like this. A night I wouldn't be repeating ever again, for as long as self-respect taunted me with this foolishness.

I flipped on the light and took a moment to adjust my vision. I bit the edge of my lip when I saw the bed, mussed and wet, covered in a variety of fun fluids.

First things first. I threw my jeans on, knowing my panties were going to be unwearable. I blushed when I remembered how the material felt ripping away from my skin. Good Lord. I set out to find them as I dragged my shirt over my shoulders.

Shit, even my upper body hurt. The good kind, of course.

Down on my hands and knees, I scoured for signs of blue satin and lace. Not a shred anywhere. Not under the bed or computer desk, not even in the covers when I pulled them back further. Wow, talk about embarrassing. The owner of this room was going to come home to a Bella-flavored surprise.

Shaking my head, I grabbed the sheets, tugging them off of the queen sized bed. I stepped back and groaned.

Fuck me. The scent released with the motion made me shake. Sun, sand and leather musk. I would never forget that combination of aromas for the rest of my life. I was kind of scared what visiting the beach might be like on some hot summer day. I might spontaneously combust or drip a tide-pool anywhere I sat.

Wow, that was macabre. Even for me.

I rolled the sheets up in a ball and located a door just to the left. I walked toward it, padding on bare feet. A long-lost bathroom.

When I stepped in, the light automatically triggered on. The shower was askew, freshly used towels hanging over the tub. _Soap-sun-sand._

Pretty-boy had washed away any evidence of us. Now I was kind of sad, since I was still wearing him and a little too happy about that fact.

With a heavy sigh, I tossed the sheets into the bathtub and ran the cold water. The shower head sprinkled to life and I glanced around for soap or detergent. Nothing but an ivory-bar and some bizarre shaped race-car pump on the bathroom sink.

Yeah. I sunk. If we had done the deed in some kid's room, I would join a nunnery in the morning. A very pedantic bit of reasoning, very Ophelia and Hamlet. And I wasn't _really_ a catholic.

I opened the medicine chest and I nearly glee'd all over myself. Shaving cream, razor. Aftershave. Condoms. Anal-eeze?

Holy Mother Superior, the racecar thing must have been a fluke. I have not tainted some innocent room. From the looks of the ass-lube, I might want to consider a shower sooner than later. Lordy knows what has happened on the borrowed bed that Sexy-boy and I had used.

Task at hand, I reminded myself. No detergent or reliable soap. I did the next best thing. I grabbed the shampoo from the ledge of the tub and poured a smattering onto the drowning wet sheets.

I added some conditioner. For fabric-softener purposes. I wasn't Brunhilda the maid, but at least I didn't leave a mess in the borrowed room that had given me so much pleasure.

I killed the shower jet and stepped out of the bathroom. I knew my shoes were downstairs in the kitchen where I had left them earlier. I would collect those and then Jessica. It was time to blow this popsicle-stand.

I shut the door to the happiest-place-on-earth. When I said my silent goodbyes, I felt a little like Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life". _Goodbye movie-house…goodbye Savings & Loan….goodbye squeaky-bed. _

I kind of hoped I would see Pretty-boy on the way out. Was it too much to dream about one last kiss?

*

I found Jessica passed out in the corner of the den, surrounded by empty condom wrappers. I hoped she had used them all with the _same guy_. But I guess given my current situation and moral bankruptcy, I was just happy she had used them at all.

Of course, I couldn't be sure of that. But I could hope she had better judgment than I did.

I knelt down beside Jess and tapped her hand softly. "Hey sugar-plum, it's time to rise and shine with all the other fairies."

No response.

I tapped a little harder this time. "Wake up and come to the dark side, we have cookies."

That seemed to do it. Maybe it was the cookies. I could _so _go for organic oatmeal raisin and a glass of vanilla soy-milk. Did the town of Forks have an organic grocer? It wasn't easy being a Vegetarian in a world that catered to carnivores.

"Bella?" Jessica's eyes were dull and bloodshot. I hoped she hadn't dipped into the drinks outside of her own flask.

"It's me, sweet-ums. The party is over and bodies are laying everywhere. It looks like a war-zone. I think we need to skee-daddle."

"What time is it?" She rubbed her eyes and looked far too innocent to be lying among strewn-condom packages.

I lifted her hand, turning it over to the watch that dangled on the inside of her wrist. "Four in the morning."

"Time flies when you're having fun," she yawned. Her breath was hot, and not in a good way. It smelled like liquor and man.

"Are you okay to walk?" I asked her, leaning up onto my haunches.

"I'm alright to walk, if you're alright to drive," she smiled, using the wall to guide her upward. She permitted herself a big stretch.

"Where are your keys?" I asked, coming to a stand. Parts of _me_ felt stretched, too.

"I dropped them in the glass fish bowl with the others. It's a tradition out here. If drunk people can't find their keys, they can't do stupid things, like drive."

I laughed quietly. I wondered what would happen if I let Charlie in on that tidbit of knowledge? He would probably be too focused on the underage drinking part to see the safety precautions involved. Still, it was novel to me.

"Alright, let's go find the fish bowl and get out of here." I scanned the sleeping bodies for a sign of pretty-boy.

I was a little disappointed when I realized he was long-gone.

_Worry about it tomorrow, Bella._

Don't be concerned, self. I am sure I will.

**

Jessica came out from the shower, her hair wrapped in a bright yellow towel-turban. Her matching bathrobe barely tied as she flopped down on the couch, exhausted. The sun was coming up, or at least the sky was turning lighter. It was never really sunny in Forks. It was coined as the "wettest place on earth."

I couldn't help but smile when I wondered if Pretty-boy had anything to do with that. He sure as hell made a believer out of me.

"So, where did you go all night?" Jess adjusted a couch throw pillow under her head, towel-turban dangling precariously.

"I was upstairs, with this guy." I knew I was blushing. I felt my skin burn-hot.

"You whore! Tell me all about it, who was he? Was he better than James? Oh my God, did you get his number?"

Rapid-fire-twenty-questions.

"It was amazing. And by that I mean, utterly-fucking-mind-blowing," I laughed, hiding my face in the loveseat cushion for a moment. "I didn't catch his number. Come to think of it…I didn't get his name, either."

Oh god, I _am_ a whore. _Nunnery. Nunnery. Nunnery._

Jess looked…stunned. Did I need to remind her about the condom wrappers scattered around her like she was on a street-corner-dump-site?

No, we didn't play wag-of-the-finger-slip-of-the-tongue with each other.

"It was just a one night stand. What the hell do I need his name for? He was just the poor SOB attached to his dick, right?" I felt dirty saying it. I wanted to put myself right on that corner dump site next to Jess. What a motley crew. We deserved each other.

"I guess so, Bella." She shrugged but I knew she was disappointed. I didn't know if her feeling was toward me or the situation I had placed myself in. Oh, Pretty-boy, why didn't I stop to ask your name?

Well, wait. He hadn't asked me for mine, either. No matter how thin I sliced that piece of man steak, I was still the whore. Non-self-respecting-harlot.

Nunnery.

"Well, was it good at least?" Jess sat up long enough to remove her towel and placed it on the floor next to the couch.

"It was…incredible." Now, I must have looked like a lit-up Christmas tree, my face illuminated and blushing. "Oh. My. God. Jess. He fucking snarled!"

"So what are you, like the dog-whisperer or some kind of milk bone treat or something?" She had that snarky face on, complete with a curled up lip.

"It was so hot, I can't even begin to make you understand. He was such a pretty-boy that I never would have expected him to be so…well, primal." I fanned myself with my fingers. I could still smell him on my skin, beneath my clothes.

"Primal is good." Her tone lightened up. "Did he get you to the finish line?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." Just thinking about it made me shiver.

"Sounds like a total keeper. God, why didn't you get his name?!"

"He is definitely a keeper, alright." Someone else was probably keeping him warm and toasty and sex-eyed right now.

I bit the inside of my mouth and threw myself down on the loveseat, melodramatically. Why did it have to be the morning after, instead of the night before?

***

EPOV

I lay in my bed, somewhere between heaven and hell.

The digital read out on the alarm clock flashed 02:00PM. I completely avoided my morning run, the occasional knock on my door and the trill-midi-Debussy ring of my cell phone.

My black-out shades were drawn down on my floor-to-ceiling bedroom windows. Light had been banished.

I could hear the footsteps trodden-upon castle walls in my head. I didn't want to face the ghost on the parapet that would rouse Hamlet to action. I was having an _emo_ moment. I was in mourning.

What the hell had happened to me last night? I didn't mean physically. For Christ's sake, I recalled every detail of the sexual-bliss. I was referring to my wellbeing--psychologically, mentally and socially.

P.M.S.

Wasn't that fucking _rich_.

How did I manage to switch gears from philosophical-observer to morally corrupt individual? What the hell had happened to me, the real me, in the epic throes of passion for that girl?

I didn't even manage to get her name.

_What the hell _was_ I thinking?_

I wasn't _that_ guy, the one that threw promises to the wind, shed propriety for immoral subjugation. Everything hit me so hard and fast, I barely had time to recoil into myself.

Now that the night was over, I had plenty of time to genuflect on the confusion.

I had gone to that party originally, for Emmett. This was his chance to see his girlfriend, the burgeoning super-model and all-points-bitch, Rosalie Hale. Since she attended Port Angeles High, and Emmett and I were in Forks, he took every chance he could get to see her.

I knew exactly how he felt and that was the problem.

I ran my hand over my eyes and through my hair. I was so completely fucked.

During the party last night, I was bored and I found myself people watching. More like _people-mocking_, actually. I considered myself an outsider to the unfolding psycho-social drama, objectively looking into the small microcosm of life playing itself out between the sexes.

The game of predator and prey shifted between estrogen and testosterone. No matter which set of chromosomes had the most victories early on, the score would be even by the end of the night. Once upon a time, I had the playbook memorized. My end-zone victories were astronomical.

When I stopped hunting, I traded in my balls and my bed-post notches for greater observations. At almost eighteen, I knew it all about the opposite sex. I had reigned in my wilder days, learned to walk upright and stop dragging my knuckles on the ground. I no longer needed to toss my evening meal over my shoulder and bring her back to my cave.

I had _evolved_.

Until I saw _her_.

That stealthy-stalking-cat with the dark chocolate eyes and mane of unbound brown hair. Something about the look of her made me pound my fist against my chest. Proverbially.

The _scent _of her unleashed entirely new sensations under my skin _and_ my jeans.

It was no longer about psychological observation. It went deeper than cave and club and dragging knuckles.

I made sounds you could only imagine on Wild-Kingdom or National Geographic Explorer. I fucking growled. I snarled. I roared, like a beast trapped in humans flesh. All of that, from her scent.

The head of my dick was leaking, just thinking about her.

I wanted to fight it. I wanted to be ashamed of it.

Instead, I dragged my fist under my nostrils. Ice blue satin and lace.

Tangerine. Honey. Wet-Wildflowers.

_Fuck. Not again._

My hand slid beneath the covers. I was hard. For the third time since I had woken up, I was rubbing myself under the warm flannel sheets.

Last night, I kept her ripped panties under my pillow like some fucked-up serial killer clinging to mementos of his victim. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to.

I inhaled her, deep. My lip curled up and my tongue lapped out, dragging rough and slow over satin. I was fucking shaking.

I was going to pound her sweet pussy until she begged. Once I made her scream her release I was going to fill her beautiful glossy mouth with every inch of me. She was going to swallow me and lick her lips for another taste.

I bucked my hips and drove my cock into my fist, dragging my swollen tip into my coned fingers. Fuck. She was tight. I slid her panties against my lips and bit into the lace…

_So good…fuck, right there…._

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Edward. You up man?"

I was so fucking _up_ I tented the covers. _Not now Emmett, you asshole._

My fist was in her hair…pulling her closer to me. My hand was on her hip, making her black and blue when I forced her back and slammed into her throbbing, hairless heat. She whimpered. She understood. She wanted it just the way I gave it to her.

I growled, low in my chest. I was on my knees with one hand bracing the bed. Ice blue satin dangled out of my teeth. I fucked myself harder into my hand, feeding her pussy, feeling my crown drag against the rim of her cunt.

My dick was out of her body and she begged me to put it back in. And I did. Hard enough to make her scream.

I snarled, my mouth sucking on lace.

Gripping myself hard, I pounded mercilessly into my fist, the underside of my cock dragging on the bridge of my thumb.

_Right. Fucking. There_. I couldn't hold it.

_Please_, she cried out, gasping and panting and begging for my cum.

I shot off and nearly collapsed onto the bed, my hand covered in my own release, her panties dangling out of my lips.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"I'm gonna unhinge this damn door if you don't get your lazy ass up."

"The fuck you will," I growled too low for Emmett to hear, rolling up onto my knees. I took her panties out of my mouth, licking my lips of her taste. I leaned over and grabbed yet another tissue out of the box next to my bed and started cleaning off my hand.

"Come on, Man. Get up, get moving. You have company of the estrogen-induced-insanity type." He didn't have to say anymore.

Panic and shame broke over me.

"Emmett, I'll be out in a few," I shouted out, my voice icy and sterile.

"Thank-fucking-god." I heard his footsteps trudging away. "You owe me."

Without even thinking, I grabbed my cell phone, tossing the used tissues in my hand onto the floor to join the rest of the crumpled kleenex graveyard. When I flipped it open it displayed fifteen-missed-calls. My text inbox was flashing twenty-three unread messages.

All of them from the same number.

Well, fuck-me-running. Someone was tossing more logs on the fire of my own personal hell. I had a vision of strawberry-blonde curls amidst a landscape of fallen timber.

Yeah. I was about to burn.

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A/N: Brits_23, Alpha-Beta extraordinaire! Please show this amazing Muse some love with her incredible work! Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/

Love the Angst with the lemons. If your still with me, tell me! It keeps me inspired to get us to the next act of Citrus-glory.

Can we make it to triple-digit-love?


	6. Negotiations

Twilight: Stephanie Meyer pwns all trademarks!

Chapter Five: Negotiations

*

BPOV

Sunday afternoon seemed to drag. Worst of all was the ride home, in quasi silence with Jessica. The radio was turned up, giving an excuse to ease the tension that settled between us and forgo the banter and chit chat. Of course I was still talking to Jess, she was my best friend.

That didn't ease the fact I was a little unnerved about the weekend. So I sang a little louder than usual in the shotgun position of the car. Jess matched pitch for tone, probably feeling the same way.

Why was this whole 'best friend' thing so much harder now that we were face to face? It seemed really far off course that we could be so much more caring and nonjudgmental when we were miles upon miles away.

I still couldn't believe what my "best friend" said to me as we tried on clothes yesterday.

"_Oh my god, Bella! Look at your neck! " Jess gawked at me as I stepped out of the dressing room. My hair was tied up._

"_What? " I covered the side of my throat defensively, pressing my palm to the line of my shoulder. I wasn't sure whether to wince or moan. His teeth had been there. His tongue had tasted skin, sweat and blood. It was sexy and horrifying at the same time._

_Jess narrowed her eyes at my reaction and the flush that must have come over my features. "That thing. It's not a hickey. It's a gash for Christ's sake! It's really fucking nasty."_

_I bit the edge of my lip and turned before the three way mirror just outside of the dressing room. This shop was a little too trendy. I didn't want to be here. She insisted it was part of the "cover" for the weekend of lies. I was already letting my school-shopping prepaid Visa card stretch to breaking._

"_I don't know. I find it kinda erotic." I spread my fingers so I could see the angry purple and red of the mark sexy-boy made in my flesh. I wanted to finger the edges of slightly shorn skin, just to feel him again. _

"_It's not erotic, Bella. It's gross." She crossed her arms over her chest. I could see her judgmental face in the mirror behind me. "You should put some make up on that or something."_

"_So I can hide it? Why? I'm not ashamed." I glared at her in the mirror. Her porcelain face was splotchy and red._

"_Well maybe you should be." Jessica snickered and my shoulders hunched with trepidation. Still, I felt this little warm fire burning inside of me. "You're walking around, proudly displaying that disgusting mark. You don't even know his name. I bet you can't even tell me one thing about him."_

_She just wagged the finger!_

"_So you're calling me a whore then?" She had said that very thing earlier in the morning after I dragged her out of the party. I thought she was being "cute". How wrong I was._

"_Well if the nasty-throat-gash__,__ fits." Jess straightened her posture._

"_More like…if the half dozen condom wrappers strewn around a comatose body, fits. Presuming you even used a one of them." I turned to face her. Our eyes locked. _

"_Well. Did you even use one with snarling animal boy?" Her lips pursed. _

"_We did. But I fucking ripped it off of him." I collapsed my shoulders in toward her body aggressively. "His dick was so big I wanted to feel him twitch inside of me. And when he came, he fucking filled me."_

"_You're nasty," was all she could manage. My posture was making her think twice about baiting me._

"_And you're breaking the first rule of friendship." I exhaled__,__ disappointedly. Without another word, I walked back into the dressing room and gathered my things._

_When I returned from behind the curtain, my choices in hand, Jessica was still standing where I left her. _

_I made my way to the register, still burning with indignation when I shouted over my shoulder. "And his eyes were green. Emerald green. I could tell you more, but I think the war is over."_

We pulled into Charlie's driveway and I opened the door of the car without letting Jessica put it in park. She shifted the gear quickly and placed her hand on my arm as I set one foot out of the door.

"Bella, wait. Please." Her words were slow and low. "I don't want everything to change once you get out of the car."

It already had. I didn't want to say it out loud. This whole weekend of bullshit was her doing. I remembered Jess begging me to be a bad girl and get over what James had done to me. Shit, she even supplied the liquor and condoms.

I trusted her and she wagged the finger at me.

I didn't know if things would ever be the same. But I realized instantly that they _had_ to be. Jessica was all I had in Forks. If this came to an end, I would be an outcast at school and a social pariah before I even set foot in door.

"I was wrong…for judging you. I mean, look at me." Her voice took on that self deprecating tone. I heard it over the blaring volume that cloaked our sins from Sharp-Ears-Charlie. "I wouldn't know who I fucked or where, even if you showed me a tape recording. I guess…well I guess I am just jealous of you."

"Jealous? Of me?" Estrogen-induced-sympathy. I felt my ovaries start baking cookies with my uterus.

"Yeah. Look at you, Bella. Geez, James must have been blind to leave you. You're…gorgeous and smart and curvy and fun. The only thing I have going for me…is that I give really good head." Jessica's hands were twisting the leather cover of the steering wheel.

"You're here, like less than a week, and some guy is marking you up…and making you feel so good. If you knew his name, I bet you would be with him right now instead of me." Her words were breathy. I could almost smell the salt of her unshed tears. "I have never even had a boyfriend. You know that."

Her words hit deep, into the very core of the woman in me. I might have been fucked in the head but someone had loved me, at least for a while. Jess had never known what that could be like.

"I know." I managed in a small voice. "But you will."

"Yeah, if I'm not too old and dry when he gets here." Laughter covers anguish like paper-covers-rock.

"It will come." I tried to be reassuring.

"Yeah and so will Christmas and old age." I could see her wiping her tears from the corner of my eye. "The point is, I don't want to fuck things up between us. I love you Bella. You're my best friend."

The weekend, with its awkwardly quiet meals and movies; with blank eyed brooding stares and silence…was over. I was at a crossroad.

I could let this whole thing drop and recess into the past _or_ I could be a stone cold bitch and walk away without a word.

The truth was, I needed her. And when I looked at Jess, I knew I had a very real chance of becoming like her. I was alone now, too.

"I love you too, Jess. Call me tonight, okay?"

And just like that, I let us both off the hook. Like an elephant, I would never forget. But I was still human and I could forgive.

Shifting the weight of my weekend bag on my shoulder, I waved as Jess pulled away, soaking in the cold and the weekend. I was oddly glad to be home. Even if I was freezing on the walkway.

Let me tell you something about Pacific-Northwest winters. It started in September and lasted till May. The sun barely showed itself in those months. I was definitely going to start applying to colleges with a warmer climate and a lot more sunshine.

I missed Arizona.

"_How the hell do you stay so fucking pale, princess?" James smiled, shifting his backpack on his arms. He loved hiking. I was just too uncoordinated to find the joy in it._

"_Well," I smiled, my boots finding berth over the small incline of rocks and desert. I started to stumble and I felt his strong hand grab my shoulder. "I use a lot of sunblock."_

"_I don't know, you might look hot all tan." He winked at me and ran a hand through his long, blond hair. I shuddered softly._

"_I might look like a lobster, is more like it," I insisted, loving the way his eyes passed all over my body as I finally found my footing and stood next to him. I was always trying to catch up with him. And it wasn't just in hiking._

"_You and a bath of hot butter. Finger licking good." James wiggled his brow suggestively._

"_Well, if we can find a shady spot, you can show me just how good I taste." I was horrible at flirting. "Although, I am fresh out of butter."_

"_Don't worry, baby. I can provide a much better sauce to cover your body with." My eyes went right to his crotch. He wasn't joking._

Maybe I missed Arizona _too_ much.

With a sigh, I turned and started up the walkway to the front door. I dug in my pocket for my house keys.

And landed flat on my ass.

"Shit!" I never saw the patch of ice, unsalted on the lip of the concrete. Like a magnet, I had inadvertently walked right to it. Drunk people have better coordination than I do.

I moved my feet and tested the ground, slowly standing up. Charlie was at the door, biting his lip to keep from laughing. Great.

"Bells, you okay?" He called out, his voice cracking.

"Just fine. Don't help or anything. It's not like your daughter could use a hand." I brushed my throbbing backside of debris.

"You're a big girl, Bells. Daddy can't always rush in and save you." When he said those words, they sounded like some kind of life lesson in the making.

I made my way to Charlie. He was eying me over as he closed the door, taking in the names on the smaller bags I had attached to my weekend duffel. I knew that scrutinizing gaze. Good cop looking for evidence. Jess really was a mastermind.

Charlie closed the door behind me and I set my things down near the stairs. "I'll go get cleaned up and make us some lunch."

"You want me to bring your bags upstairs?" He asked, just a little too calmly. _Ahh, Officer Swan was here._

"Nah, I thought I would leave them down here for now so you can snoop. The receipts' are still in the bags. I'm sure they are date and time stamped." I started to climb the stairs. Charlie grumbled and walked away.

You couldn't grow up a police officer's daughter without learning a few tricks about Modis Operendi.

*

Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. It was perfect comfort food for a dreary Sunday lunch.

"Did you get everything you need? Do you want me to run you anywhere for last minute stuff?" Charlie brushed the crumbs off of his mouth and set his napkin on the plate.

"No, I think I have everything for now. Mom had the right idea, prepaying that credit card. It made everything so much easier." I took a sip of water, tapping my fingers along the table. It was inquisition time.

"Yeah, since when did she get practical?" He snickered. Renee was a flighty-little-bird. She liked to think of herself more as a free-spirit.

"Phil is a good influence on her," I said without thinking.

Charlie cleared his throat, looking away for a moment. I knew he still loved Renee. The separation and subsequent divorce was not his idea. He suffered in silence with the knowledge of his ex-wife remarrying. Charlie kept quiet a lot.

I was starting to understand what Renee meant by, "You have too much Charlie in you." I could stand completely still while the world rushed around me. Like a boulder in a raging river. The down side, was how that water eventually eroded the strength of the rock. But that took millions of years.

The immoveable object meets the unstoppable force.

"So, Bells. We need to talk about school. Rules. Curfew." Charlie slid his piled plates forward, dark brown eyes painfully steady when they bored into mine.

"I won't start with that '_I'm Seventeen_' whining if you don't give me the '_while your under my roof'_ bit." Things were simple with Charlie. He smiled and instantly understood.

"Deal," he nodded. "Lets run down the list of what I expect. We can open negotiations after."

"This isn't a hostage crisis." I rolled my eyes.

"It could be, Bells. You might end up grounded." He replied.

I had made it this far without any rules. Renee was too esoteric for that. The game had changed, now that I was living with Charlie.

"Oh," was the only reply I could muster.

"Alright. I expect you home after school, class-work done. If you are staying late for a project or something, you need to let me know. I will do the same if something comes up at the station." Cop-voice was back. "After dinner and chores, you are off the restraints but curfew is at ten-o-clock on school nights. Saturdays, eleven."

I must have gotten that look in my eye. "Chores? People still have those, in this day and age?"

"Don't be a wise-ass, Isabella." He used full first-name. Charlie was actually serious. "I am a simple man, but a traditional one."

"Well, I like to cook. So, how about I take dinner detail and you get clean up?" Negotiations had begun. By the way, I hated doing dishes.

"Fair enough. I don't expect you to slave in the kitchen though. I can fend for us, too."

I rolled my eyes again. Charlie couldn't cook worth a damn. "By that you mean, diner? Steak and cobbler?"

Charlie laughed and patted his stomach. "At least once a week."

"Deal." I agreed. I actually enjoyed cooking. This really wasn't a chore for me. But Charlie knew I didn't eat meat, so there was no doubt in my mind this "diner deal" was just to assure he got his fix of seared red-flesh.

"I'll take shopping and laundry if you take housecleaning. Everything but my room, that's an off limits zone." I watched Charlie groan. But he nodded his acquiescence. He understood the issue of 'space'.

"Alright, chores are negotiated," he finally said, making mental notes. Charlie knew what was coming next.

"Curfew," I began. "Weeknights are a given. Saturdays I want to bump to two in the morning. And you didn't mention Sundays?"

"Saturdays, midnight." He countered, ignoring my well placed secondary motion.

"One in the morning." I bartered.

"Twelve thirty." He countered. I could see in his eyes he wasn't going to go any higher. It seemed fair enough.

"Deal." I agreed. "Sundays?"

"Home by dinner." He was worn out already. I nodded my acceptance. That was fair enough. Traditional parenting was actually kind of nice.

I got up from the table and gathered our dishes, setting them in the sink. I smiled when I turned around and saw Charlie smile. He knew he was on dish-clean up.

"Can I just ask one favor, Bells?" He didn't give me a chance to answer. "I know you're a vegetarian, but could you make sure I get a little beef or chicken once in a while?"

"I can do that, Dad." I laughed. "Now, get moving on these dishes. I am going to go upstairs and unpack."

Charlie groaned and I nearly skipped out of the room. Then I remembered I had one more thing to ask him. A legitimate request.

"Oh, hey Dad?" I waited till he turned to me. "We already have cable for the Flat screen, can you add internet? My laptop is crawling with dial-up and I'm pretty sure I am going to need something a little faster for school."

"Yeah, Bells. I'll call and add it tomorrow." Logic and legitimate reason were things Charlie never argued with.

This was going to be a good arrangement. "Thanks, Dad."

*

Jessica called around eight-o-clock. We talked for a while without saying anything of meaning or value. She told me about some family named the Cullen's. Apparently they were the royalty of Forks High.

Like I wasn't already nervous about tomorrow?

Don't get me wrong, every high school has the same bullshit melodrama. The jocks, the stoners, the geeks and _them_. The popular ones. The social-god-damn-elite. Jess must have sensed my mood-shift because she let me go, without too much hassle.

I needed to retreat into my own world, so I kept myself busy after the impromptu conversation.

I replied to Renee's latest email. The tenure of her letter was frantic. She didn't like going so long without hearing from me.

I filled her in on Jessica and the weekend, keeping it clean. I also included a blurb about Charlie and the new rules. I let her know that they were fair and I agreed to them so she wouldn't fly off the handle about a man, even though he was my dad, _controlling_ me.

I appreciated Renee and the sense of self respect she instilled in me. The independence she gave me. I never begrudged her that once I was old enough to understand, she became my friend rather than a parent. Under her tutelage I learned how to weigh decisions and take the lesser of two evils.

I just wished I had the chance to be a normal teenager, uncaring about consequences, because someone else would be there to pick up the pieces of whatever I had shattered.

I had to fight against myself more than most girls my age. It was hard to go against the ingrained. Where was my sense of adventure, my abandonment of better judgment?

The modem on my laptop groaned as the dial-up connection strained to send my lengthy email. It was already getting late.

I set out my clothes for the big day. My first at Forks High. My knapsack was bagged and ready, lunch was in the fridge. I had to be prepared just in case there were no vegetarian choices on the menu.

By the time I readied myself, the mail was sent. I unhooked the phone line from my laptop and my modem stopped groaning. It shut down with the cursory music I was used to.

Killing the light, I padded to my bed and pulled the dark purple covers over me. I wasn't sure how long I lay there, but I was too keyed up to sleep.

That happened to me a lot, after the whole James incident. I used to enjoy the fortuitous six-to-eight hours a night. Now, I was lucky if I found three-to-four. And when I did manage to fall asleep, I had nightmares.

Not the average, someone chasing you and running through the woods variety. They were the kind that made me scream myself awake. I replayed the afternoon I found James in his car, with Victoria riding him. The day that changed everything.

I shut my eyes tight against the vision and nestled my head into the pillow. Damn, my neck stung against the cold pillowcase. I rolled onto my back to relieve the pressure and sucked in a breath. My hand instantly went to the bite-tendered join of my neck.

_Pretty-boy._

Those glittering emerald eyes. That killer fucking body. My God, the way he sparkled when sheened in sweat. The soft feel of his wild, bronze hair beneath my fingers.

"_Hungry? I know I am." _

I bit my lip at the memory. The hot growl of his words made me shiver.

My finger pressed against my swollen clit. I heard myself whimper. I rubbed wet, messy circles. The bed creaked beneath me.

"_Did I fucking tell you to touch what's _mine_?" _

"No…" I pleaded, my hips shaking. I rubbed harder. Faster. Those messy circles closing in tighter. Shit, it felt so good.

"Please…so close…" I begged. He snarled when I begged.

"_Fucking say it and I will make you cum so hard…" _

"Fuck, I'm yours…please…"

I bit my lip so hard I tasted copper. My back arched. The sound of my wetness was all I could hear. I rubbed myself violently, shivering my clit side to side. Sweet Jesus. So good.

"_Cum for me. _Now_…" _

My nails dug into my tender neck, ripping the skin again. _Right there…_

My thighs pressed together and I gave one last stroke over my hyper-sensitive flesh… _Don't stop…_

I pinched my aching bud violently and rolled it between my fingers. My hips arched up. _Oh god…._

I came hard. Shaking and gasping. My heart was thundering into my ribcage.

For the next three-hours, I slept fucking beautifully.

**

EPOV

Strawberry blonde curls.

Logs on the fire.

I burned.

I was guilty.

Something had changed.

I stepped into the burning hot shower and dipped my face into the searing spring. My hands were braced on either side of the tile walls.

I spent Saturday with Tanya, freshly tanned and magnificent after her spring break in Daytona Beach. I was originally scheduled to attend but I couldn't get off work to go. I had a part time job, after school and on Sunday evenings. On the time that coincided with the break, I had promised to put in thirty-hours.

I was well compensated for the effort.

Not that I needed the money, my family had plenty to go around. My mother Esme was a stay-at home, type. She had a side business in antiques and another as an interior-design consultant. Both she did from home. No matter how much we urged her to get out into the world and go full time, she insisted her hearth was at home.

Carlisle, my father, worked as the Chief Resident Physician at Forks Hospital.

Esme had actually been his patient when he was the Lead E.R. doctor at Chicago Hospital, where they met and fell in love. It wasn't long after that my parents married. They moved to New York after Emmett was born. Less than a year later, Alice and I came along. Twins. Fraternal, not identical. We must have been hell on our poor Mother.

The family relocated to Seattle. We lived there until we were sophomores in High-School. Emmett was a junior and started running with a bad crowd.

My parents decided to start actively seeking relocation. By fate or destiny or some shit like that, an offer came through for my father.

Carlisle was presented the opportunity to become Chief Resident Physician at Forks Hospital, just two-hours from Seattle. Given the situation with Emmett and the sky-rocketing crime rate of a major city, he accepted and moved us all out of there.

To nowhere.

In the transition, Emmett was left back and had to repeat his junior year, with us. Wasn't that hell? I was still giving him shit for it. So was Alice, my younger sister. And by younger, I meant three whole minutes. Every second counted when you were one-of-a-pair.

I pressed against the tile wall, letting the hot water hit my back. It brought me to the present.

Apparently, I was some kind of prodigy when it came to finances.

I usually worked in the home of Jason Scott, Esq., a wealthy lawyer and part time stock broker. He was a close friend of my father. About ten months ago, during a formal sit down dinner with my father's investor, the adults started talking finance.

Mr. Scott whipped out the last published Wall-Street journal. He told Carlisle to invest something extra in the bull market. When the dinner-meeting was over, I asked to keep the newspaper copy.

Later that night after Mr. Scott had left, I showed my father the Nikkei. I asked him to put some of his trade in that market. He humored me and said whatever I put in, he would match. I gave him the only $100.00 I had on my person. Carlisle matched it and placed his call to Mr. Scott.

The next morning, the Dow Jones plummeted from Bull to Bear market, shifting in the downturn of consumer optimism.

However, the Nikkei soared in communications. Our $200.00 investment yielded an insane cash return.

Mr. Scott was floored. He sought out Carlisle for his permission to address me with the latest readings, as of close on the Dow. I gave him my thoughts, based on simple math. It just made sense to me.

According to Mr. Scott, I had some kind of stock-market ESP. I had been working part-time with him ever since.

Steam filled my lungs.

I lathered my body and let the weekend wash over me.

My thoughts drifted back to Tanya. I didn't want to think about her when I was in the shower. Maybe it was because of the guilt that gnawed at me. Or because something about our Saturday together, just didn't seem to _do it_ for me.

Things had been so different before the party, before I inhaled that first nose full of stealthy-cat-girl. Something inside of me came alive that night.

Once I had showered and straightened up the _evidence_ of how I spent Saturday morning, I joined life, already in progress. Emmett left immediately to spend the night in Port Angeles with Rosalie. Alice had her boyfriend Jasper over, but they were on their way out to a movie and dinner.

Tanya and I went to the mall, dinner and back to the house. We spent the rest of the night in my bedroom.

As soon as I closed the door, she was all over me.

I dragged her back to my bed, hovering over her. The scent of tangerine and honey filled me, drifting out from under my pillow.

It wasn't strawberry blonde curls and wide blue eyes under me.

I took her hard, at first. Until she started whimpering, begging me to be gentle.

_Slow down baby, I missed you too, _she said_. _

I felt my dick start to cringe and soften. She ruined the fantasy.

I pressed my face into my pillow, taking a hit of tangerine and honey. Wet-fucking-wildflowers. God, this was so wrong. But I was hard again.

Tanya was whispering into the shell of my ear. I bit my pillow and shoved my shoulder against her lips to shut her up. My hands reached for satiny-lace in the dark.

I dragged my tongue against cat-girls panties until I filled the condom. I got Tanya off with my fingers and while she was cumming, I stashed the evidence under my bed frame.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

When she came down, I rolled off my condom and showered. By the time I got back to bed, she was hogging it.

I roused my Grifball-skin lap top and snickered. Emmett owed me a rematch.

I surfed the web, tired but too wound-up to sleep.

On Sunday, Tanya went back to Port. Emmett stayed with Rose. Jasper hung out for dinner and Carlisle was off from the hospital. One happy fucking family get together. My mother was pleased, at least.

Spring break was over, officially. I scrubbed my skin.

I thought…of stealthy-cat-girl.

I let the water rinse the guilt from me as my soapy, slick hand palmed my hard, aching dick. You could tell me every girl sounded the same when they were stripped bare and begging. It wasn't fucking true. I was aching for _her._

I wanted her on her knees. She had seen how massive my cock was. I wanted her to lick her fucking lips in anticipation. I wanted her wide-eyed and wondering if she could take me all in.

I stroked harder, palming the tip of my dick.

Fuck, I was leaking precum tears just wishing for her.

This night wasn't going to end until her fucking panties were in my mouth…or below me on the bed so I could thrust my dick against them and smell her.

_Shit, right there!_

I gasped a heavy breath, forcing myself to stop fucking my hand. Ice blue satin was going to be wound around my dick when I came.

Her fucking scent was my salvation. I felt my primal urges calling for her, just one more time.

_Just. One. More. Time. _

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A/N: Brits_23, my glorious Alpha-Beta…the decadent muse that makes my world rock. Check out her amazing fics: Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/

Wondering what Grifball is? It's a **real game **accessible through Halo on Xbox Live. Parody becomes reality. I love that shit.

http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=TNat4DiacKs

Reviews get Snarlward a new pair of panties...so....very....soon...............


	7. Worlds Collide

Disclaimer: Thanks, Stephanie Meyers. I've got the fever. And you still own everything.

Chapter Six: Worlds Collide

*

BPOV

_Get out of the truck, Bella._

I had been gripping the steering wheel for fifteen minutes and the truck was still running. I wondered if I was going to be able to peel my fingers off of the cool leather wrapping.

_This is ridiculous. Damn girl, get moving already. You're going to be late._

I moved my thumb. That was a good sign. I wiggled the rest of my fingers like a wave but still they wouldn't detach. My knuckles were white. Have I mentioned that I don't do "new" very well?

_Breathe._

I had a tendency to hold my breath when I was anxious. I released the air in my lungs and it whooshed against the window, fogging up a damp, moist circle. I was really starting to think I wasn't going to be able to get out of the truck.

Salvation rapped against my rolled up window and I jumped out of my skin.

Jessica was waving and smiling once she had my attention. She made the hand motion to roll down the window. Somehow, my left hand managed to yield from the creaking wheel.

"Hey, are you ever coming out of there? You haven't moved in like fifteen minutes." I had no idea I was being watched.

I must have looked pale as a ghost because Jess was giving me that worried smile. "The gang is all back there, by the side entrance waiting to meet you. I finally figured you might need a little TLC. It's not exactly your forte, being the new girl and all."

Jess knew me. I had to give her that much. She wasn't making me feel like a simpering coward either.

"I…I don't know if I can do this," I pleaded in earnest. I didn't even sound like me.

"Well what are you going to do, cut school on the first day?" She shook her head gently, her long blonde tresses shivering with the motion. It released the scent of her shampoo. Gardenias. It smelled really nice. Comforting.

"Come on, silly. Clock is ticking." When she reached for my door I shook my head, panic coming to a sudden, defined rush. Jess didn't stop her motion and the red door creaked metallically.

Cold air hit me like a full arctic blast, snapping my senses awake.

"Hand me your book bag." Jessica motioned to the black haversack sitting in the unoccupied passenger seat. I nodded like a four-year-old and did as I was told.

She leaned in and accepted it, rolling the driver side window up. "Left foot, right foot."

Her tone was no nonsense and it gave me just the boost I needed. I slid down from the belly of the red beast and my blue ballet-slippers hit the pavement.

"Those shoes are too cute. I wish we were the same size, we could totally share." Jess closed the door behind me, handing over my knapsack.

"Thanks, I got them in Arizona." I shouldered the bag. When Jessica started walking, I followed. I tried not to feel the eyes all over me. But I still knew they were there.

Murmurs and whispers were everywhere as we made our way from the small parking lot toward the side entrance of the high school. Jess started to motion toward me and I noticed a group of people light up with wide-eyed smiles.

I was starting to forget my fear. These faces were friendly. I was safe.

"Isabella Swan, I presume?" This overly husky, put-on tone came from the tall blonde boy with light blue eyes. For his effort, he was punched in the upper arm and winced with a loud, "Ow!"

The Asian-boy standing next to him looked too pleased with his work.

I laughed. "It's just Bella."

"That douche bag there, nursing the injured arm, that's Mike Newton. I'm Eric Yorkie and oh so enchanted to meet you." The thin Asian-boy with the ultra conservative slacks and button up shirt extended his hand.

"Um, yeah. Good to meet you Eric." I extended my own and he raised it to his lips to kiss the bridge of my knuckles, never taking those almond eyes off of mine. I blushed instantly.

"Now who's being a douche bag, douche bag? I'm _enchanted_ to meet you…" Mike pushed Eric, forcing him to drop my hand.

"Oh, that's it!" Eric laughed, pushing the blonde boy back.

"Looks like they found themselves a new toy." The girl standing closest to them with long dark hair started rolling her eyes.

"Neanderthals. Behave yourself." The other female in the group said, pushing her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. She smiled very warmly and waved her petite hand in the air toward me. "Hi, I'm Angela."

"Hi, Angela. I'm Bella. Oh, wait. You already know that," I laughed, flustered and unable to tear my eyes away from Eric and Mike playing the push-around-game.

The dark haired girl still hadn't introduced herself. She crossed her arms before her chest, looking completely displeased at the display around her.

"Miss-Attitude-central, that's Lauren." Jess made the introduction.

A tall, dark skinned boy walked over, holding his backpack on one shoulder. He drew his hand around Lauren's waist and pulled her in against him. "Morning, babe."

Lauren leaned in to kiss him. Maybe she wasn't such an ice-queen after-all.

Of course, I might have judged that too soon.

Lauren's boyfriend winked at her and leaned across her body to take a look at me. "Damn, this little hottie must be Chief Swans' daughter. Fuck me, if he don't make pretty babies."

"Don't you even fucking think about it, Tyler." Lauren looked like a volcano about to pop, pushing his arm off of her waist. She gave me the look of death and stormed off in a huff.

Tyler gave me one last look over and went chasing after Lauren.

"It's nothing personal, Lauren is just really jealous." Angela leaned in and kept her voice low. I chewed my lip gently.

Mike and Eric finally stopped screwing around and returned to the rest of the clutch. I looked at Jessica and she smiled in return.

"So what's your first class, Bella?" Mike asked, running his hand through his mussed mane.

"Um, I think its Western Civ. Room 302?" I shifted softly and brushed my hands down the thighs of my skinny-tight dark jeans.

"Same here, we have old man Potter. I can walk you there if you want?" He seemed nice enough.

"Sure, that's cool," I replied as the first bell rang. Once Mike's back was turned, Jess started motioning to him like mad.

Then it clicked, this was _the_ Mike Newton, my best-friend's panty-slicker guy. I bit back a giggle as she rolled her eyes in exaggeration, her hands wringing the air and telling me with sign language that she totally wanted to grab his ass.

I laughed. The remaining assembled entourage looked at me like I had lost my mind.

The squeal of tires cut through the air like a knife. Every set of eyes turned to the parking lot. Mike mumbled something under his breath and Jessica almost growled.

A silver Volvo, all new and nice and waxed cut into the parking lot entirely too fast. The breaks slammed and it parked, right next to my old beat up red behemoth.

"Well it _was_ going to be a nice day," my best friend sighed, taking me by the hand. "Let's go inside, Bella."

"Who is that?" I tried to strain over my shoulder to peer off into the distance at the shiny Volvo. I could see the driver door opening but I was being led away rapidly.

"The Cullens." Jessica had venom in her voice. _Forks High School aristocracy._

"Oh, they're not so bad." Angela said from behind us.

"Ange, we've been over this. They are total freaks," Eric grumbled.

"Why is that?" I asked as the door slammed shut behind us. We were in a long polished hallway with a stream of bodies and congestion.

"Don't worry, you'll see." Jessica forced herself to smile and pat my hand as she released it. Mike was ready to walk me to class. I searched her eyes to make sure she was completely alright with that.

She was. I think.

"Alright, Bella, I will see you at lunch. I'll text you between periods." She smiled encouragingly. _Lunch was still four hours away. How was I going to make it that long without my crutch to lean on?_

I waved to Jess as Mike led me off toward our shared class, opposite of the direction Angela and my best friend were going.

"So, Bella, how do you like Forks so far?" Mike asked against the dull roar of the hallway. There weren't nearly as many people as what I was used to in Arizona but still, it was a pretty impressive student body.

_Sun. Sand. _

I shook my head, feeling completely out of sorts for a moment. Mike was already leading us through the classroom door.

The scent was gone. _What the hell?_

"Um Forks," I realized Mike was still waiting for his answer. I sat down at the empty desk behind him, at the very rear of the class. There were four rows of six seats. "It's growing on me."

Mike smiled. I set my bag down at my feet and leaned in to retrieve my notebook and a pen.

I was shaking.

Seriously, where the hell had that…_scent_…come from?

*

Next class period I had with Angela.

Calculus was something I was not looking forward to. I had a serious mental block when it came to math. Somehow, Angela seemed to sense my discomfort.

"This is one of my best subjects, so if you ever need any help, I hope you won't hesitate to ask?" She gave me a reassuring smile.

"Do I look that frightened?" I bit the edge of my lip. This girl was so gracious. I could tell instantly she didn't have a malicious bone in her body.

"No, just anxious. But don't worry, Mrs. Marshall is an awesome teacher." It might have sounded hokey that she thought so highly of this teacher. But in this day and age, I found it sort of refreshing.

Angela tore the edge of her notebook paper, scribbling furiously with her pencil before handing it to me. "Take my number and if you get stuck on anything just call me. I will be more than glad to help."

I pocketed her digits with a grateful smile. I felt my phone vibrate and quickly produced it from my pocket, using the desk as cover.

_So how's it going?_

Jessica sent me a txt. I pressed the qwerty keys as quickly as I could to respond.

_Hanging in so far. Angela is in my calc class. What's the deal with Lauren she didn't seem to like me._

In under ten-seconds, I had a response.

_She doesn't like anybody. Real possessive of Tyler. Give her time, she warms up. What did you think of mike?_

I bit the edge of my lip and typed my reply.

_Ok - and he seems cool. Totally go for it!_

I snapped my phone closed and settled it back into my pocket. I smoothed my light blue baby-doll, long sleeve shirt, picking imaginary lint to act like a cover. I still felt anxious, but some of the whispers and murmurs had died down. People were finally getting over the new girl, or so I hoped.

*

When the bell rang, Angela pointed me in the direction I needed to be in to find my Psychology class. I would have to thank her at lunch, which luckily she shared with Jessica and I.

I stepped into Mr. Basttions' class and looked around. For a moment I did not realize the guy standing near the door was actually the teacher.

Mr. Basttion was tall and very well built, informally dressed in jeans and a button down shirt, un-tucked. He wore a pair of Chucks and had long, dark brown hair that fell against his shoulders. His eyes were pretty amazing, this odd kind of silvery color.

"You must be Ms. Swan, welcome to my class. Take a seat anywhere," he said in a big smile, friendly kind of way. Well, it was Psychology class, after all.

I stumbled a bit when I went down the first row. I took the first seat I saw open.

When I set my books down, I turned to survey the class and realized there was a girl behind me, sitting _on_ her desk, legs folded Indian style beneath her. Short cropped, perfectly styled dark hair was bent over her hands and she was texting someone.

Her fingers moved with lightening speed. She had rings on the first three fingers of both of her hands.

She smelled like _sun and sand_.

I was compelled to speak. Just as I opened my mouth, she looked up.

Emerald green eyes. I was instantly overwhelmed.

"Hi, you must be Isabella! I'm Alice, your faithful senior class president. I have heard so many whispers about you today!" She smiled this incredible crooked smile. She had a waif-like prettiness to her. Delicate and petite.

_Sun. Sand. Hibiscus flowers. _

Emeralds Eyes_. _

I realized I must have been leering at her like I wanted to work some girl-on-girl action.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare. You just look familiar to me for some reason," I finally managed.

"I get stared at all the time," Alice said, rearranging herself on the desk. She was wearing a pair of ankle leggings and a dark blue denim skirt with ballet flats. She looked like a retro-80's music video.

"You're so much prettier than everyone has been saying. They really don't do you justice." Her cell phone buzzed in her hand and she flipped the keyboard out from its confines.

"Thanks." I bit my lip. I must have been as red as a tomato. It was nice to know I was thought of as being pretty, but the idea of being the center of attention still made me uneasy. "Um, what kind of perfume are you wearing?"

_Sun. Sand. Pretty-boy. I was shaking._

"I'm not wearing any perfume." She looked at me and smiled. "So you're from Arizona, right? Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I barely managed. Was I really shaking that hard? All I could think about was pretty-boy. Those eyes, that body, his scent. Why did this girl make me think of him? What was she wearing that carried his essence? Did they use the same kind of shampoo or soap or lotion?

I felt like I was losing my mind. "I haven't eaten since this morning. I'm a little shaky," I finally lied. Alice looked like she bought it, but only barely.

"Diabetic?" She asked me, sliding her hand into the book bag parked on her seat where her ass should have been. Life-savers were offered to me. I hesitantly took one.

"No, um. I'm not." I studied the lifesaver. I wasn't sure if I should attempt to ingest it.

"It's just a lifesaver. Do you want the red one? I save those for Jasper since he really likes them. It turns his mouth all red and makes his lips all cherry flavored. They are sweet enough as is, but cherry is a nice bonus. I don't think he would mind if I skimped on one?" Alice was offering the candy to me again.

"No, this one is fine. I just don't remember if this has gelatin in it?" I was studying the orange candy as though my eyes alone could coax forth its secrets.

"Oh, you're a vegetarian!" She said in a voice that screamed Eureka! "No, there is nothing animal based in these, just lots of sugar."

I popped the candy in my mouth and tried to force myself back to reality. "Who's Jasper?"

"The main-squeeze." She smiled and the late bell rang. Mr. Basttion closed the door.

"He goes to school here?" I asked, starting to feel better already.

"No, he goes to Washington State, a college man." She laughed.

"Shouldn't you be in your seat?" I asked. I noticed she had a set of pom-poms under her desk. Senior class president and a cheerleader. This girl seemed to have the exuberance to pull it off.

"This is Mr. Basttion's class, Isabella. When he tells you to sit anywhere, he means it literally. He believes comfort is an important factor in learning. Take a look around." She smiled.

Sure enough, as Alice said, the class was scattered all over the place. She wasn't the only one sitting on top of her desk. There were several others and some lying down in the aisles, bracing their faces against cupped palms. Others were kneeling. A few even used the desk as a foot-rest when leaning back in their seats.

I got up and almost tripped over my book bag. I caught myself and hopped up on the desk, mimicking Alice's position. I smiled at her.

"Thanks for the life-saver. And by the way, it's just Bella."

"You're welcome, Just Bella. Anytime." She winked.

"Welcome back from Spring break, class," Mr. Basttion had a booming voice but it was lyrical and sweet, extremely welcoming. "I know you all have busy social lives but I will ask you to put all cell-phones, iPods and various other implements of the electronic persuasion in a safe place."

He was cool. Any other teacher might confiscate these items and hold them hostage till the end of class.

The shuffling died down and Alice gave me that green-eyed crooked smile. Sun and sand washed all over me.

"Miss Cullen, would you kind enough to give us a brief review on Maslow's Pyramid?" Mr. Basttion stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking casual and eclectic.

"Sure, Mr. Basttion." Alice smiled.

That was my first encounter with a Cullen.

It was nothing like I expected. So far.

**

EPOV

Emmett didn't make it back from Port Angeles till seven-thirty this morning. Alice and I were walking out of the door when he came running in.

"Give me five-minutes." He shouted and rushed toward his bedroom, shedding his shirt on the way.

"Rough night with Rose?" I mocked, swirling my keys around my index finger.

"Looking that way." Alice laughed, shifting in her ballet shoes like she was trying to pirouette.

The house was quiet. Carlisle was already at work and Esme was folding laundry in the mud room. I heard the shower adjoined to Emmett's room and I cursed a string of profanities. He was going to make us late.

I hated being late.

"Well, he can't go to class smelling like Rose-oil." Alice chimed.

"That's a visual I don't need this early in the morning." I groaned, tapping my foot impatiently.

"You're in a mighty mood." Alice was the one person I could never hide myself from. Must be that whole in-utero connection. "You get turned down this weekend? It was awful quiet in your part of the house."

"My part of the house was just fine this weekend. No complaints from the guest," I replied, biting back that sour edge.

"The guest, eh? Have we downgraded?" she sounded hopeful. That annoyed me.

"Alice…" I began. She leaned over and raised the collar on my wool coat. I quirked my brow at her. Since when did she preen me?

"Downgrading the unnecessary is important for future, fully customizable adventures." She had that look in her eyes, like she knew something. Another flashy precognitive notion must have made it through her dreams again.

"What did you…?" I was cut off.

"See. Four-minutes-fifty-eight-seconds. Let's go." Emmett patted down his short dark hair, books in hand and clearly out of breath.

"I guess we aren't stopping for coffee then?" Alice was instantly dejected. There would be no caffeine fix this morning.

I had less than twenty minutes to get us to school. It was a twenty-five minute drive.

"Time to drive like a Cullen." I snickered as we piled into my silver Volvo. The expression, driving like a Cullen, came from our mother, Esme. She swore Carlisle missed his calling as a racecar driver.

*

I spun the tires as I took the turn too sharp into the parking lot. The first bell rang as soon as I parked. I hated running to my first class. English Lit with Ms. Coppell was all the way in room 408.

A new car was in the lot, a red monster of an old Chevy pickup. The thing probably shouldn't have been street legal. And it was an eyesore.

"That must be the new girls ride, Chief Swan's daughter," Alice chimed.

"Well she's probably as busted down as that hunk of junk." I was walking fast and far.

Alice and Emmett were trying to catch up with me as I tailed it to the side entrance of the high school.

_Tangerine. Honey._

I stopped at the door and sniffed the air. Alice was motioning to me as Emmett held the door open. Kids were streaming through the hallway like blood through an artery.

I couldn't fucking move.

I parted my lips to take the taste of the air against my tongue. It couldn't have been coming from me, I cleaned up thoroughly after my morning-panty-fuck.

This was fresh. Was it soap or shampoo? Some kind of lotion? Was that the secret to stealthy-cat-girl's delicious smell? If that was the case, I would make Alice go to the beauty salon and sniff every God damn bottle in the place.

I took another draught and it was shifting on the wind. I could move again.

"You might want to hold your books a little more frontward, man," Emmett grumbled.

_Shit. _I was hard. And these jeans were tight enough already. Public wood wasn't the way I needed to start the day.

We split our directions and I ran to my class. I made it just as the bell rang.

The scent was dead but the fire that burned into my blood was far from satisfied. There was no way I was going to toss one off here.

Besides, her panties were at home.

Under my pillow.

I had to get rid of them. This couldn't have been healthy.

*

I sat in study hall and Coach Knotts came to find me, reminding me to have Carlisle sign off on my physical form. Varsity Baseball was starting warm-ups tomorrow and I couldn't participate without the paperwork.

I jotted down a note to myself and stared off into space. The school was buzzing with gossip and sightings of Chief Swan's daughter. I tried not to listen, since I honestly didn't care. I found the group dynamic to be somewhat less than interesting.

All these guys were exchanging little vital tidbits about her. Isabella, they called her. What a pretentious name for these parts. But it was the way they said it, like it was fucking exotic or something.

The average seventeen year old male mind was a festering pit of gutter-drawl. I cracked open my Psych book and read a passage.

"Did you see that skimpy blue shirt she is wearing? Christ-sake, her tits are huge," some faceless guy clamored.

"Fuck that, I am all about her ass." That was Eric Yorkie. He was about as annoying as the small breed dog that shared his name.

"You would be, Nancy-boy," Mike Newton, the generic popular guy snickered. "I'd much rather have what's between her legs. I'd take that long hair of hers and wrap it around my hand like a fucking reign."

"You'd pop it off in under ten-seconds, limp dick." Tyler Crowley added.

"That's just my record with your mom," Newton replied.

I was so fucking sick of hearing about Isabella Swan. These guys were like three year olds that couldn't keep their hands out of their pants.

I shut my psych book hard and it echoed through study hall. The annex became eerily quiet.

Within five minutes the whispers were back.

"What the fuck is up Cullen's ass?" Yorkie said so low, I might not have heard him if I wasn't paying attention.

"Maybe he's thinking of tossing himself into the competition," Tyler grumbled.

"Like it isn't bad enough that every fucking girl in this school wants to ride his dick," Newton hissed.

I had enough. Even if it was true. The girls in this school eye-fucked me every chance they got. I ignored it. But obviously, it was a bone of contention with every other dick-waving shit-head in this place.

My body was thrumming with spit-worthy venom.

They were going to shut the hell up. _Now._

I stood up and leaned over the long desk no one else shared with me.

Everyone in the study hall looked up. Captive audience. But my eyes were on the table of fuck-wits that couldn't shut their mouths on their own. Now that they had my attention, I shut it for them.

I didn't have to say a word. The last time someone challenged me, I was extremely ungentlemanly. All over his face. Literally.

He transferred schools after reconstructive surgery. My temper was lethal. He should have kept his hands off my sister the first time she said '_no.'_

With perfect dramatic timing, the bell rang. I was the first one out of the annex. Not a single set of eyes dared to follow me. If they were smart, they would keep my fucking name out of their mouths for the rest of the school year.

*

Western Civ with Mr. Potter. Old man Potter, as he was aptly nicknamed. Why? Because he was old. Ancient, even.

Room 302.

This was my pitch-fork stabbing hell.

The second I walked into class, it hit me like a brick.

_Tangerine. Honey._

I was convinced now. This magic scent of stealthy-cat-girl came in a bottle or a spray. There was no way in hell it could be here, like this. And that meant there was nothing special or unique about it. She was generic and made more potent with my mind.

The sex, however, had been out of this God damn world. It was unnerving how perfect we fit together. It was mind-altering the way she made me feel. Of course, sex is _always _good in varying degrees. But she made me snarl.

That had never happened before. The part of me that cat-girl awoke, I wanted to recapture it. But even with Tanya on Saturday, it wouldn't claw out of its hiding spot without some _lacy_ encouragement.

Maybe she wasn't so generic after all.

Thinking about her made my dick twitch. At least this time I was sitting down.

I took a deep breath and the scent still assaulted me. I would buy a gallon drum of it and coat my bedroom with it like paint.

_Get a grip, Cullen. This was a one-night stand. Be thankful for that. It could have ruined your life._

Somehow, a part of me knew it already had.

**

BPOV

"So, how's the first half of the first day going?" Jessica smiled, sipping her soda.

I was never so happy, in all of my life, to see her sitting there at the lunch table. Eric had been kind enough to walk me from our English Lit class. He didn't say much but every once in a while he blushed.

"It's been sort of surreal." I set my haversack down and straddled the chair across from her. Within seconds, I had my brown bag lunch out and on the table. I was starving.

"Hey, Arizona." Mike sat down next to Jessica. She flushed and started playing with her hair.

"Hi, Mike." Jess chimed in. When he turned to look at her, she went cherry-red.

"Hey there, hawtness," Mike flirted. Yup, her panties were in a bunch. Women just know these things.

"Bella, how are classes? Everyone being nice to you?" Angela joined us. She brown-bagged it too. I was not yet a total outcast.

"So far, everyone has been great," I replied, popping a piece of celery between my lips.

"Baby, you haven't had great till you're under me." Tyler grabbed a chair and sat himself down, unceremoniously.

"Say that when Lauren is around and she will run you over with your own truck," Jess grimaced.

I looked at her helplessly. I really didn't want this kind of attention or tension.

"Whatcha got there, for lunch?" Eric finally chimed in, peeking over Angela's shoulder. I could tell she had no enjoyment of him being behind her.

"Carrots, celery…oh and tofu." I smiled, covering my mouth as I finished chewing. Spitting vegetable pieces on someone was considered rude in most cultures.

"You're one of them, huh?" Mike asked, leaning forward on his bent forearms to see my little Tupperware display.

"She isn't a steak and potatoes kind of girl," Jess chimed in. Wait, was that an insult or an explanation?

"That's cause you haven't found the right, thick piece of steak." Tyler grabbed his crotch and I put my head down. Thank God Lauren didn't have lunch period with us.

"I think it's great that you abstain from eating meat," Angela leaned in and said in a supportive voice. "Why the choice?"

"Animal rights. Body is the temple kind of thing," I replied softly. I didn't need to launch into my rhetoric day one of meeting everyone. Even if I already felt like I fit in.

That was when I noticed Jess trying to make eye contact with me and get my attention. She cupped her hand in front of her face, effectively blocking off everyone from seeing her lips moving.

Other conversations were starting between the table occupants.

"Remember I told you about the Cullens. Here they come." Jessica gestured with her free hand. Of course, my eyes went right to where she pointed.

"That little one is Alice. Senior Class president, cheerleader, all around freak. She has some college guy boyfriend," She explained. The trendy retro-80's girl was walking through the door, her pompoms dangling out of her shoulder bag. Was that a Louis Vutton she was carrying? Dear Lord!

"Yeah, I met her already. She is in my Psych class. I was shocked she was so nice," I said, taking a bite of my tofu cube. It was so much better at near freezing temps but it kept its consistency with the little cold pack I had put in the brown bag.

Jess turned to glance over her shoulder. This massively built, tall guy with dark hair was setting his things down at the lunch table closest to the window. Alice looked like she was heading right over to him.

"The big one, that's Emmett Cullen. He was left back and had to repeat the grade when they moved here from Seattle. Some kind of gang trouble or whatever." Jess was so pleased with herself when she had the inside gossip. "He is total star quarterback, varsity football. Has a girlfriend that's a model, local stuff right now. But she is a senior in Port Angeles."

"Giving her the run down on the freaky Cullens, eh?" Mike said with a snicker. Jessica blushed but otherwise paid him no attention.

The Big one. The Little one. Jessica's descriptions were starting to sound like Goldilocks and the Three-bears. Where was just-right? _Sometimes, I am too witty for my own good._

Holy-mother-of-God.

Just-Right just came walking through the door.

Bronze, wild hair. Pale, perfect skin. Long, lean frame. Black jeans and v-neck sweater with a white t-shirt leaking out from just underneath. He was wearing sunglasses. But I knew the color of his eyes, intimately well.

_Pretty-sexy-boy._

My hand went to my neck and I could feel the shorn skin shiver. I had torn it open again last night. Now, it was throbbing.

…and so was I.

"And that's Edward Cullen. Varsity Baseball. Total gorgeous-God but obviously too good for anyone in this school. He has…" Jessica was cut off.

"Cullen is a freak. What do you mean total-gorgeous-God?" Mike sounded pissed off.

Everything around me went to a dull roar. My lips parted for a moan that never made its way out. I dug my fingers into my skin, harder.

Alice was pointing to me and when she saw me looking their way, she waved.

Pretty-sexy-boy looked up. I realized now, he had a name.

Edward.

Edward Cullen.

My mind shivered around the moniker. My jaw went slack. He lowered his sunglasses and emerald eyes burned me alive.

Alice was moving toward our table. Emmett and Edward were with her. My eyes…could not…leave his.

"They are coming over here," I heard Eric say, but the words didn't register.

"Oh my god, Bella, why is Edward staring at you like that?" Jessica actually would have sounded jealous if I had been listening.

_Sun. Sand. Freshly cured leather_. His scent hit me like a wrecking ball.

I hadn't been crazy. Alice was his sister. That's why she smelled like him.

"Hi, everybody!" Alice chimed, fidgeting slightly. She looked around the table and waved her fingers. "Since my brothers haven't had the chance to meet our newest student, I thought I would do the honors!"

People at the table must have been moving because everything seemed to shift, noisily. It was obvious this crew wasn't used to being addressed by royalty.

"Emmett, Edward, this is Isabella Swan, the Chief's daughter." Alice made the world shiver with her smile. "But she prefers Bella."

I couldn't speak. I tried.

Edward's eyes went from my face to my lips to my hand. He knew what I was touching.

Sun. Sand. Edward's leathery cured musk.

His mark on my skin.

My head was spinning. My heart was thrumming against my ribcage.

Alice looked between Edward and me. Emmett must have said hello, but I never heard it.

"Bella." Edward said my name. There was a growl in his voice. He shifted his books in front of him. Then, he licked his lips. "A pleasure to meet you."

How could he manage to sound like a gentleman with that growl under his words? Was I the only one who heard it?

"Edward," was all I could say. I tried to give a little head jiggle. But I couldn't, it was too intense. I could smell myself mixing with his aroma.

I was shaking.

"Well, alright then. Enjoy your lunch, everyone." Alice smiled at me and turned around. Edward didn't move and she pressed her palms against his chest. "Come on." I heard her whisper.

He stepped back.

My face was on fire. I had to get out of there.

"Guys. I, um, I'll be right back. I think the tofu…has gone bad. Or something." It was all I could manage.

I ran for cover.

Everything I had with me, I left there.

I could feel his eyes following me all the way out of the cafeteria.

.

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A/N: Brits_23, Alpha-Beta extraordinaire! Please show this amazing Muse some love with her incredible work! Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/

Don't forget to tell her, Snarlward sent ya!

***looks up, trying to refocus her eyes* What the?....**

**Edward: So, it looks like we have a _following_. *licks his lips* 1600 hits on this previous chapter of my life. Are you proud of yourself, Melissa?**

**Me: I don't know what you mean, Edward. *sits back and brushes the keys of her laptop, avoiding eye contact***

**Edward: Don't play that shit with me. *purses his lips* 1600 hits and under 100 reviews.**

**Me: *snickers* Something tells me you are enjoying the exhibitionism?**

**Edward: *pulls the laptop toward him* No, that comes in Chapter 8. *venomous smile***

**Me: Edward, please. *tries to take possession of the laptop***

**Edward: Begging is Chapter 9. *smirk***

**Me: Your Snarlfans are looking forward to reading these parts of your life. Only, they don't know it yet.**

**Edward: 1600 hits. Less than 100 reviews. I'm a fucking savant at numbers. One in every 16 are leaving a little note of enjoyment. *scoffs, removing hand from the laptop* I wouldn't play those stakes on the Stock-Market.**

**Me: Edward, please! *moves laptop back to it's rightful place* People are busy....**

**Edward: Not busy enough to read, but too-involved to leave a comment. *snickers***

**Me: *tries to change the subject* So, where is Bella?**

**Edward: recovering. *licks his lips* Chapter 9.**

**Me: *gulps***

**Edward: *waggles his brow as he recalls an email Brits23* Fucking love that woman, Brits23. Avoidward is a nice bit of reading. Show and Don't Tell. But I do tell, don't I?**

**Me: yeah, its a favorite of mine. Have you seen some of the new stuff she is working on? *tents fingers***

**Edward: Fuck yeah. *rubs neck* Do you really call me Bitey?**

**Me: *sheepish smile* um...**

**Edward: Brits might have a place in the future, come part 2 of this little adventure. Guess its up to the voyeurs.**

**Me: *sitting up* What?**

**Edward: I like numbers, Melissa. Comforting, addition-subtraction numbers, are you paying attention? *smiles darkly* I'm setting a precident.**

**Me: *arches brow* Oh, really?**

**Edward: Yes, really. *pleased with himself* Remember, I am in the numbers game. I want to see our 116 reviews increase to 200 in the next chapter.**

**Me: Be reasonable...?**

**Edward: Reasonable, do I look like the type? Thats EliseShaw with her Carlisle-Esme lust bullet of No Longer Alone and A Coming of Age. *taps his fingers on the bridge of his nose* No. Bullshit. 200 reviews.**

**Me: And how do I ask anyone to do that, _Seriously, be reasonable_. *pleads***

**Edward: Well, let our beloved friends know...If they go above and beyond...lets say, a total of 250 reviews, they can have the next installment of my life-on-display on...Thursday Evening? *snickers* And don't beg. Thats Chapter 9.**

**Me: *innocent flush, distracting the topic* You _are_ a betting man? *laughs***

**Edward: No, that would be adverb and Raising the Stakes on *smiles dazzlingly***

**Me: *sighs* It's not up to me. *wonders suddenly if the tofu went bad. Will make sense in chap 7***

**Edward: Don't make me cock-block. *stands and shuts the laptop, removing and claiming the power-cord***

200 grand-total reviews makes Edward give me back my god-damn laptop cord. 250 reviews gets the next chapter to you, two days early (thursday evening, approx 7pm est).

You heard the man. JUST SAY NO TO COCKBLOCK.......


	8. Crashing Down

**A/N1: To every single person who reviewed, thank you. I write for you. As a show of my adoration: Chapter EIGHT (on here its listed CHAP9) will be posted SATURDAY! A word of caution: BUCKLE UP, it will be the much awaited Biology class!**

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.

Chapter Seven: Crashing Down

*

EPOV

I showered after gym.

I wouldn't be caught dead running around sweat soaked and grimy after a forty-five minute class of indoor floor hockey. It was a great release of all of my pent up aggression. I was infamous for high-sticking. But then again, so was my brother.

Emmett was lethal. He nailed me behind the knee more than once. Fucking dirty competitor. I guess that came from years of football training. An inbred mantra of 'take 'em down right and they won't get up again.' He was a monster on the field.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I walked. I refused to limp. I wouldn't show weakness.

I filtered into the large atrium style lunch room. Team spirit was written all over the walls.

I spotted Emmett first. Who could miss that hulking form? He was setting his book bag down at 'our_'_ table. It was situated furthest from the rest of the student body, pressed nice and tight against the window.

Alice was making her way towards Emmett and I walked a little slower. My left knee was killing me. I had to sit down soon or the injured joint was going to buckle. By the time I made my way to both of my siblings, Alice was pointing at _someone_.

I rolled my eyes behind my sunglasses. Let me guess, Isabella Swan? The girl with the golden pussy must have been assigned this lunch period.

_Of all the fucking luck. _

"I don't see her?" Emmett said. He leaned down a bit and turned his head to the side, trying to follow the line of Alice's finger. "Hey, Bro. How's your knee?"

"Fucking brilliant," I said with a snicker.

"Over there!" Alice lifted her free hand and tilted it under Emmett's jaw. "With the long, dark hair. Right across from Jessica Stanley?"

Jessica Stanley. Blessedly, we had no classes together this semester. Yet.

_But Jessica knows stealthy-cat-girl…. _

Shut up, voice in my head.

"Damn, she's hot. That Swan-girl, I mean." Emmett blushed innocently.

"Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, already. Who cares about her?" I groaned. Alice raised one brow and smirked like the cat-that-ate-the-canary. _What the hell was that all about?_

"See for yourself," Alice dared me. She had that tone that drove me crazy. The inflection that said she knew _something _I didn't know_._

Alice released her hand but I was already zeroing in on the target.

_No._

_Fucking._

_Way._

I lowered my sunglasses.

My jaw tightened, reflexively.

Long dark hair hung like a curtain, half way down her narrow spine. Eyes like bittersweet chocolate were fixated on me, wide and offsetting pink-flushed, porcelain skin. Parted lips were trembling with the vapid rise and fall of her chest. Her small hand was braced at the side of her neck, right at the shoulder.

Right where I bit her. The exact place I had marked her.

Isabella Swan.

Stealthy-cat-girl.

I couldn't move. I couldn't dare take my eyes off of hers. This fucking phantom girl that stalked my pleasure was right under my thumb.

"Well, it's about time she met all of the Cullens, don't you think, Edward?" I swear Alice had little yellow feathers sticking out of her teeth when she gave me that sing-song, innocent tone. "I mean, I _am_ the Senior Class President. It _is _my duty."

I straightened my spine instinctively. My eyes set Isabella on fire. She was going to burn with me and I was already closing in the distance between us.

The moment my sister saw me moving, she took the lead, determined to reach the table first to make the introductions. The Cullens were nothing if not properly groomed and bred.

I flanked and shadowed Alice's pace, my eyes unblinking. Every step that closed between Isabella and I was rewriting my fucking future.

I knew this Helen-of-Troy was going to destroy me. Like Paris and Hektor and the Gods of Mount Olympus, I was destined for dust. The face that launched a thousand ships was sending me--one way--to hell.

And I was so fucking ready for departure.

_Tangerine. Honey. Wet-Wildflowers._

I was hard. Ready. Aching.

Everyone at Isabella's table was staring at us. The freaky Cullens. Emmett with his big size, Alice with her esoteric ways and me with my venomous nature and overtly polite façade. We were their equivalent of royalty, yet they whispered about us like side-show freaks.

"Hi, Everybody!" Alice chimed and fidgeted. Could my sister feel the lightning that forked between cat-girl and I? _Fuck, we were a perfect fit_. "Since my brothers haven't had the chance to meet our newest student, I thought I would do the honors!"

My lip curled into a sneer. I fought a hiss at the myriad scents of Mike and Eric and Tyler at her table. _She was mine._

"Emmett, Edward, this is Isabella Swan, the Chief's daughter." Alice almost choked on her words. But only I would have known that. Yes, she felt the heat and still continued, flawlessly. "But she prefers Bella."

Isabella had not taken her eyes from me. Heavy breaths left those perfect petal-soft lips. Her nails pressed into her skin, tormenting the mark I gave her. I could taste the lust between us.

_Bella_.

Emmett was speaking. He had his teddy-bear voice on. I wanted him far away, with Mike and Eric and Tyler. I clenched my teeth. Everything tasted acrid. My chest was rumbling.

"Bella," I growled. Her name was as hot as her sweat and blood and scent on my tongue. I wanted to spread her thighs and press my face into her jeans.

I licked my lips. I wanted her riding my mouth and begging me to lick her dry. "A pleasure to meet you."

She flushed a shade of pink that made my balls ache.

"Edward." Her tongue lapped around my name_. I couldn't take any more…._

Alice shifted, ever so slightly in front of me. Bella was shaking. I did this to her. My nearness. She wanted me. I could fucking smell it.

"Well, alright then. Enjoy your lunch, everyone." That canary my sister had swallowed was giving her indigestion. Alice said her words too fast. I was ready to move around her to get to Bella but my sister pressed her palms against my chest, desperate to push me back.

"Come on," she whispered.

I stepped back. I let Alice move me.

Bella was up from her seat at the table. In seconds she was gone, leaving everything she had with her behind.

I ran my hand through my hair, overcome with scent, taste and memory. It was too much. All of it.

_She ran away._

I said nothing as I stalked to the rear exit of the cafeteria. I could hear Emmett in the background asking, "What the hell is wrong with him?"

None of it mattered. I had to get away.

The cold snap of wind caught me as I cleared the perimeter of the building. I could see the tail end of my silver Volvo jutting ass-out in a row of neatly lined cars. My parking job this morning was less than stellar.

I passed the old red monster of a truck on the way to my quiet salvation. The beast had character, a real personality. I couldn't help but smile as I continued to my own car.

Of course that red Chevy had to be Bellas'. I had never seen it in the lot before today. Something that old and obvious, I would have noticed and probably snickered at.

Now that the truck no longer smelled like back-fire, the air around it tasted like her. It was faint and shifting, barely recognizable. But I was so attuned to it now, even at a scant parts-per-million, I knew it was pure Bella.

Here I was smiling like an idiot.

A girl as beautiful as Bella didn't have the need to define herself with status symbols like a flashy little sports car or a brand new save-the-planet-sedan.

_Wait. What the fuck?_

I just thought of her as _beautiful_.

I mean, obviously she was. But this was taking my already delusional panty-fucking world to a new extreme.

Her scent got me off when Tanya's flavor couldn't. I was still hard from a forty-five second encounter with the girl, back in the lunch room. The idea of Mike, Eric and Tyler…and my own brother ogling her made me want to hurt someone.

I fucking smiled…at her truck. That dilapidated piece of shit, red beast.

She was too little for that monstrosity anyway. I could almost imagine her small hands turning white and gripping the steering wheel on these dangerous, icy roads.

I ran my hand through my hair and tossed my books into the passenger seat of my Volvo. Turning the ignition, the radio blasted _Disturbed, Down with the Sickness._

The music filled the void in me, relieving my tension like I had written it myself. I felt my body thrumming with energy and confusion. I thought about stroking one off in my car. Her scent was etched into me.

I fought it. I had to. _Think, Cullen._

I remained standing outside of the car, just to keep the fucking temptation and her memory out of my head.

My hands braced on the silver roof of my car. Shit, I felt so guilty.

I cast a precursory glance over to the red truck again trying to distract myself.

At least the red beast had good tires, new and studded. She should have been driving something safer. The clunker, for all its presumed personality, looked like it belonged in a wrecking derby.

I felt my ribcage spasm. What the hell was this feeling that overcame me when I imagined her behind the wheel?

Protective.

I felt _protective_ of Bella Swan. And I _still _wanted to pound her tight, gorgeous body into oblivion. This attempt at distraction wasn't working worth a damn.

_I am so fucked._

"You are so fucked," came a voice that echoed my thoughts. Alice. That little fucking sprite had managed to sneak up on me and I was not a second wiser for it. "Start talking, Edward."

"I don't know what you mean?" I exhaled sharply through my nose. I couldn't turn around and face her.

"Don't you play that shit with me." I could see her short cropped, Anime styled hair bouncing around toward the passenger side of my car. She opened the door and tossed her books down atop my own and lowered the radio. In the blink of an eye she was standing on the opening of my car door, towering up and gripping onto the roof.

Green eyes met mine. I could see myself reflecting back from her accusing orbs. "You're fucking delusional," I hissed, hoping to scare her off.

"Nice try," Alice met my tone. "You've seen her before, haven't you, Edward?"

"You could say that." I retaliated in a smart-ass inflection. _I've seen her pink and wet and begging for my dick._ The monster twitched beneath denim. _Yeah, I want another taste too, but cool it_.

"Edward, you didn't?" She questioned, but she already knew the truth. She could read me like a tarot-card. "What about…."

I groaned. The leading-fucking-question of the day had Tanya written all over it. What the hell was I going to do?

Mom and Dad will freak out!" Alice bellowed, her little fists shaking in fury. "Edward, If they ever found out that you chea—"

I groaned again, resting my head on the silver roof of my car. Alice was cut short.

"Why are Mom and Dad freaking out?" Another voice joined into this private, one way conversation, cutting Alice off. Emmett. Great, a family fucking-get-together.

"Emmett, what are you doing out here, I told you to stay inside!" Alice jumped back onto the ground.

"And miss all of the good stuff? No fucking way." Emmett tossed his books onto the closed trunk of my car. "So, what are we freaking Mom and Dad out for?"

"Why don't you ask your brother, or maybe you should ask his crotch." Alice threw her hands up in the air. I didn't have to see the action to know what she was doing.

"Cut him some slack," Emmett defended. "If this is about that Bella Swan girl, I got half a fucking chub looking at her too. Men do that kind of shit. We can't help it. Nature of the beast."

I looked up. Alice was shooting Emmett daggers with her eyes. "That might be the case but you would never cheat on Rose, would you?"

Emmett's support wavered like a flag in a wind-storm. His eyes met mine and he stood extremely still. What he said next, surprised me. "So, we getting rid of the bitch?"

He meant Tanya of course. She was a bitch. A spoiled, pampered, bratty bitch. I used to find that incredibly fucking hot. That was before Port Angeles and the satiny lace panties I wanted to fist myself off in, again.

"Emmett!" Alice defended. Because, well, that was what Alice was. She was the saint. I was the sinner.

"I don't care how long our families have been close, shit changes." Emmett shrugged. I never would have guessed he would be the rational one. "So, I would ask if she was any good in the sack but half-pint over here might hit me."

"You just asked and yes, I _am_ going to hit you." Alice was stalking toward Emmett. Big as he is, he was backing up.

"Hey, wait a minute now, Tiny-Terror. You said you saw this coming. Saturday when we couldn't get Edward out of his room. You said…"

"Wait, what?" My eyes burned holes into Alice. She must have had another precog dream.

"Emmett, you promised!" Alice scowled, sighing heavily.

"Alice," I said dangerously. I was choking on all this fucking guilt. "What did you see, exactly?"

"I'm not saying. And neither is Emmett if he knows what's good for him." Her eyes narrowed at our brother. "Things might change."

The three of us stood in silence. The stealthy-cat was out of the bag. I wanted to hate Bella Swan. I cursed her for existing. For smelling so fucking edible. For making me want her. For setting me free.

"The bell is going to ring. We need to go," Alice said, still glowering at me. She grabbed her books from my front seat and started walking, occasionally glancing over her shoulder to shoot looks at me. _We are so not done with this conversation Edward. _I could almost read her words right out of her mind. Yeah, this was far from over.

Emmett fell in stride with me. I slowed down a little when we passed the red truck. Another cursory inspection had me wondering if that hunk of junk was going to get Bella home safely.

"So," Emmett whispered. "Was it good?"

I snickered and smirked at the same time. "I fucking snarled."

"Hot damn." Emmett shook his head.

"I fucking heard that." Alice yelled back to us.

_Logs on the fire._

_Yeah, welcome to my hell._

*

BPOV

I pressed my back against the bathroom door.

My chest was heaving, adrenaline and confusion mixing in my blood. I felt like I was about to have a panic-attack except there was no feeling of dread. No imminent doom and gloom.

I was panting in exasperation. Butterflies bounced inside of my gut, making me feel bubbly and light and still out of control.

My palms were pressed flat against the wood. Only the sound of my rapid breathing echoed back at me. The room was blessedly free of life. I was safe.

And sort of scared-happy, if such a duality of emotion could co-exist.

Pushing off the door, I went to the sink and ran the cold water. I gathered the stream into my hands before brushing them under my hair and onto my neck. The coolness helped me steady.

Then I saw myself in the mirror. I was furiously flushed, and a little disheveled. My pupils were like pin-prick. I had seen a movie once, in health class, about drug addicts.

I was a junkie who just shot up with my fix.

Edward Cullen was my own, personal brand of heroin.

_Oh god--what am I going to do? I _can't_ go back out there and face him!_

I was smiling when I thought that. It was ridiculous. I hadn't stopped thinking about him, Pretty-Sexy-Boy without a name, since the night of the party. I rubbed myself raw under the covers, biting my lip to keep from screaming out when I replayed our porn-worthy bliss.

He was amazing. He was gorgeous. And now, he had a name.

Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen! I kept repeating his name in my mind, just to hear myself think it.

_Bella, get a grip. Seriously, what are you going to do?_

It was obvious he remembered me. The gage of his eyes, the tenor of his voice with that growl no one else could hear but me. I thought of Edward snarling. I had to grip the sink to steady myself.

_I wanted another fix. I was craving it._

The things he did to me. I was shaking at the memory. God, the way he rubbed himself as he watched me undress. That first moment he was inside of me when I felt like my body was choking and desperate to stretch around him.

_I've never had a seizure before, is this what it feels like?_

I was trembling that hard. My all-too-womanly-parts were coding a grand-mal beneath my jeans. Was it possible to cum just from thinking about someone, no touching involved?

_You're not helping the situation. Focus, Bella._

My inner voice was getting really fucking pushy. I tried to wet my dry lips with my tongue. I was completely cotton mouth. I made myself focus.

I was no good at flirting. Most of the time I just stammered and said something so random I was left questioning what the hell my intention had initially been. I couldn't strut worth a damn. Even if I tried to swagger my ass in front of him, I would probably just fall down and hurt myself.

_Let's not forget, your blush gives away everything._

Yeah, great. Thanks. I know.

_Just because he remembered you, doesn't mean he wants a repeat performance of Bad-Bella._

Alright stop. That isn't even fair.

But it was true.

_For all he knows your just some sex-starved starlet that needed relief on a casting-couch._

Ouch. Low blow. My voice of conscience was working me over like a punching bag.

_Look at him and look at you. Come on, he's a total God, just like Jessica said. Guys like that will only do to you what James did._

I was the lamb under the lion's paw. Plain-old Bella with her fleecy white delusions had never seen the teeth on the last big-kitty she played with. Why would Edward be any different? He was so clearly out of my league.

Junkie-Bella was coming down off her high.

The bathroom door opened and I turned over my shoulder. It was Jessica and Angela. They rushed to me so fast, they were actually blurry.

I blinked and cleared my tears. I hadn't even realized I was on the verge of breakdown. I looked at myself in the mirror, flanked by best friend and new-friend-in-the-making. I looked like I was sick. My face was splotchy and thin-sheen with sweat.

Conscience wins. Edward Cullen was out of my league.

"Bella are you okay? You look like shit." Jessica comforted me. But it wasn't very comforting, just a reaffirmation of my self-esteem hitting an all time low.

"Y-yeah," I stammered. "B-bad tofu."

I think that was what I said. My brain checked out somewhere after epiphany-land.

Angela grabbed two brown paper towels out of the dispenser and placed it under the cold water I had left running. With a soft smile, she rose up my unbound, disheveled hair and pressed it against my neck.

"I do this for my brothers when they don't feel well," she said simply. When I saw her looking at me through the mirror I knew that _she knew_. This had _nothing_ to do with bad tofu.

I waited for her to call me on my bullshit. I knew she was kind when she didn't.

Then again, even Jessica hadn't seemed to expose my bold face lie. Maybe I was getting better. Or maybe she was just too preoccupied with holding her left hand on my shoulder and texting on her cell phone with the right.

"Thanks, Angela," I mumbled. Jessica pocketed her phone and started making a fuss over me. She didn't like competition.

"We are totally going shopping after school. We can get you one of those Arctic-Freezer-bags, you know for your cold stuff." Where Angela was kind, Jessica was fake. I could see it all over her eyes.

"So, now you met Edward Cullen." Penetrating blue eyes watched mine in the mirror. Jess had that look on her face, somewhere between smug and swooning. "I have to totally fill you in on him."

My stomach actually heaved.

"Okay, if you are going to hurl, I totally have to leave." Jess had that look like she might go blue and sick at the thought. "I will just leave your stuff here and step outside. I can guard the bathroom door."

I hadn't even noticed that she shouldered my haversack with my jacket tossed over it. I didn't answer as she leaned down to leave it at my feet and quickly made her way out of the door. I guess I couldn't blame her. I didn't have a weak stomach, but I was grateful to be spared the details on Edward Cullen.

"Angela, you don't have to stay," I said, still feeling a little off but gradually better. I was more guilt than anything for this breakdown that became a full-fledged nausea attack in front of poor, sweet Angela.

"It's okay. I don't mind." She patted the cloth behind my neck, gently. She had the kind of motherly look on her face I had only rarely seen with Renee. I hated to admit it but I missed my Mom.

"So, now you're officially indoctrinated into Forks, High, Bella," Angela said with a soft smile.

"Huh?" I wasn't in the mood to be articulate.

"You've been _dazzled_--by Edward Cullen." Her voice held no judgment. Thankfully, it was a low whisper. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, most of the girls in this school have had two years to adjust."

"This isn't what 'dazzling' should feel like," I mumbled, but she heard me well enough.

"It gets better over time. Wait till he smiles at you." She quieted her giggle. She obviously didn't want to draw attention from Jessica if my best friend was still outside the door. I appreciated the candor.

"But I really think it was the t-t-tofu." I quickly tried to counter, not wanting to concede my half-pitched lie.

"For me, it was cramps," she laughed, removing the cloth from my neck. It worked. I wasn't nearly as splotchy and on the verge of hyperventilation. "Same bathroom though."

"Angela…" I began, watching her smile in the mirror. It never faltered.

"It's our secret, Bella. Cross my heart and hope to die." She made the 'X' over her heart and kissed her fingertip.

"That's a horrible saying." I really did hate that saying. Who hopes to die?

_You did, after you caught James with Victoria…_

"Alright, how about…um…" Angela was thinking. "Cross my heart and hope for that Edward-Cullen-smile?"

"That one is better." I liked the thought of him smiling. And that made my heart pitch in my chest. I wouldn't mind another round of snarling either.

The first bell rang. I was about to reach down for my stuff but Angela was already handing it to me.

"Thanks again." I felt really indebted to her kindness. Angela Weber was fast gaining my trust. She was too genuine for me to deny her of that.

"Of course," she beamed. "So where to next?"

"Biology," I said flatly, running my hand through my hair. Only a little while longer and the day would be behind me. I wanted the safety of my bedroom to think about this whole Edward Cullen thing.

"Oh, good! Mike has biology next with Mr. Banner. So you won't be alone." Angela pulled the door open.

Jessica and Lauren were standing outside of the bathroom. They stopped talking when they saw me. I groaned internally.

"Hey Bells, how you feeling?" Jess had that fake smile on. She had probably been lying about the weak stomach bit. Lauren, of course, pretended I didn't exist.

"Better." I cleared my throat. "I've got biology next. So, I will see you in gym?"

"Sure thing!" Jessica smiled.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't scanning the hallways as I walked. I might have been on unsteady ground with the whole one-night-stand, Edward Cullen thing.

But that didn't mean I wasn't hungry for another fix.

I blinked my eyes back to reality. I was nowhere near room 505.

I was completely fucking lost.

I thought I had made the right turn down the maze of hallways. They criss-crossed numbers like a big city does with streets and avenues. How could a school be so damn confusing? This wasn't rocket science.

No. But it _was_ an old, brick monster of a building that once housed students from grades kindergarten thru high school. I had been too busy scanning the halls for signs of Edward when I should have been paying closer attention.

Somehow I ended up in the 200's. By the time I realized I was moving down instead of up, I actually had to jog to get back on course. Time dwindled like the enemy. I was going to be late.

Room 527. Shit. Now, I actually had to sprint.

I spotted the numbered room plaque. _What the hell? _The door to the classroom was closing!

Panic surged through me. I didn't want to make a bad impression on my first day. The only thing I knew about Mr. Banner was the incessant warning Jessica fed me about not being late to his class.

She had told me it was a "just wait, you'll see." I had no idea Mr. Banner would try and lock me out!

In an act of desperation I stuck my arm through the entrance to 505. The portal parted. I stepped into the room and held my breath.

I hated being the center of attention. But now, all eyes were on me.....

…and I felt _him_ instantly.

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A/N: Brits_23, Is what happens when you combine ME with SNARLWARD. Pour her a glass of Merlot and check out Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/

Does Snarlward make you shiver and quiver in all the right places? Send some love down below.

**Me: *smiles like the Cheshire-Cat and looks over at Edward* Sooooo…..how ya doin' over there, pretty-boy?**

**Edward: *rolls his eyes, unimpressed* Don't call me that.**

**Me: *smirks* feelin' a little **_**touchy?**_

**Edward: Fuck. No, that's Chapter 8. Biology class, remember? *holding laptop cord in a steely grip***

**Me: How could I forget? *grins wide* You have something that belongs to me, Cullen.**

**Edward: Oh, its Cullen now. Am I supposed to be scared? *mock shivers, wagging fingers like he's afraid***

**Me: Do you want me to **_**scare**_** you, Edward? I could change a few facts around…maybe your **_**wearing**_** her panties instead of….**

**Edward: No, no. That's quite alright. *tosses the laptop cord on the desk* Fine, fucking take it. **

**Me: *hides excitement and slowly takes the cord back, casually plugging the laptop-o-wonder back in.* Ahh, I was almost out of juice. **

**Edward: *deadpans* sounds like a personal….**

**Me: *narrows eyes* Just one keystroke and your giggle-ward instead of Snarlward, pal. *admires the bright-shiny screen and beams silently***

**Edward: *defends* Lets not be hasty…I mean, look on the bright side, we did get quite a bit of reviews on these chapters of my life..**

**Me: Don't you dare take credit for it. That belongs to every single person who took the time to show some love.**

**Edward: Spare me the extravaganza! *waves arm flamboyantly* By the way, your mighty high-horsing it. *snickers* **

**Me: Cullen….*highlights Snarl and casually types in GIGGLES….and mouses over the Change All button***

**Edward: Alright, alright. Embargo over. Cockblock lifted. Happy now? **

**Me: Tickled pink!**

**Edward: *licks his lips* Bella used to have a pair of pink panties….**

**Me: Just say your sorry to all the nice people and we can go. I have some work to do on the Biology chapter before Saturday.**

**Edward: Fuck. *drags his lower lip between his teeth* That was such a hot class…**

**Me: Oh, I know. *hitches breath* So, go a head and say what you need to say.**

**Edward I'm not apologizing…but I will give some thanks to everyone who stopped to say hello. Gotta shout those Trinity Goddesses, Tori and Rose. Fuck, I wouldn't mind being in a sandwich….**

**Me: *clears throat* Ahem.**

**Edward: Don't get snippy with me, woman. You don't want me to tell them about you and Mr. Basttion do you? **

**Me: That will be all, Edward. *says quickly, diverting attention to her laptop***

**Edward: yeah, I thought so. *sneers and gets up to leave***

**Me: Oh, before you go Edward. I want you to hear this. ****wicked smile**** **

**Edward: this can't be good…**

**Me: So, since the embargo has been lifted and the next chapter will be posted on Saturday as my special treat to you all….*licks her lips of the lemony taste************* I have a little idea. Tell me what you think of this?**

**Want a little more of this post chapter-funtime? **

**The entire cast of Breaking Trinity will be joining us next time. Have questions you want to have answered? Review and ask away but make sure to let me know WHOM you wish to direct your questions to….**

**Edward: Shit. I see I can just see it now…*pinches the bridge of his nose***

**Me: ahh, sweet justice. **

**xoxoxoxoxox**


	9. Defined

Disclaimer: Not mine. Stephanie Meyer created/owns Twilight, characters and setting pertaining to Twilight. I do not derive financial gain from this work.

Disclaimer2: I do not derive financial gain from this work. On that note, Breaking Trinity is Copyright ©2009 and intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV©2009 . No unauthorized or illegal reproduction of this story is permitted under Federal Copyright Law. Copyright infringement, plagiarism (in whole or part), unauthorized translation, reproduction or otherwise unethical publication without the express written consent of the author, notarized before municipal representatives is expressly forbidden.

Chapter Eight: Defined

*

EPOV

I was used to sitting alone.

My books were strewn about my lab table, arranged in order of need. I stretched out and scanned over my notes, jotting down the date for today's class.

Biology was a subject I excelled at. It was all about order and organization. Every genera and taxonomic classification made sense. The subdivision to be covered this week was centered on cell cycles and mitosis. I had already read ahead through the phases.

My memory was eidetic. Retention and recollection were rapid fire. It appeared my brain was properly protein enriched and neutron balanced. Or maybe I was a genetic grab-bag-of-happy.

Either way, I was sure the innate skill was something I would find much more beneficial, later in life.

I set my pen down. Mr. Banner wrote the words _A.V._ in sloppy penmanship on the board. My own was more like calligraphy.

What did Bella's handwriting look like?

_No, don't start thinking about her again._

I pursed my lips and shifted in my seat. I managed to still my dick at the twitch. _Later, killer. You need time to think this out--the right way._

I snickered to myself and changed my internal subject.

_Looks like Mr. Banner didn't feel like working too hard today, either._

A smirk fell over my lips as I directed my attention back to my blank notebook page. In all honesty, I rather liked movie time. It meant an entire class-period of being in the dark. That, in turn, meant less eye-fucking.

Sometimes I swore I could read the minds of the girls that shared a class with me. Hungry, searching, fantasizing. The guys were even worse. Envious, threatening, hateful.

I scanned around the room briefly.

The same old faces.

My eyes fell on Mike Newton. Today, Mister Generic-Popularity was glaring down a loaded gun-barrel. I still remembered what he said about Bella in Study Hall. He was just feeding me ammunition; I never much liked that prick anyway.

Eidetic memory, remember?

Stealthy-cat-girl whose panties I fucking worshipped daily. She had a name now.

_Bella._

Mr. Banner glanced at his watch, judging its accuracy against the monotone wall clock. He was infamous for shutting the door in the faces of students who arrived late to class. Of course, everyone was already here. This formality was a well practiced ritual.

_Reinforcement_, my fucking awesome Psych teacher, Mr. Basttion would call it. I enjoyed his class so damn much, I volunteered once a month to help with the group therapy discussions he ran. I would have done more Saturdays but my schedule was already packed enough without the added strain.

The minute-hand on the abnormally loud clock was ticking. Banner's His organic penny-loafers were in motion.

I drew an 'F' clef on the side of my paper and a thin outline of five lines. Maybe I would write a few notes of music to attack the piano at home with. I felt darkly inspired.

The whispers and commotion made me look up. A student's hand was through the door at the last possible moment. It held a paper that Mr. Banner removed from female digits and finally parted the door.

_Tangerine. Honey._

Fuck. Me.

I never even had to see her face to know who she was. That scent haunted me so fucking often I was starting to wonder if I would develop carpel-tunnel. In my fever-need, I stroked myself with her panties and fantasized of shooting my wad all over that gorgeous body, from every position possible.

She averted her eyes and held her breath as she stepped through the doorway. Mr. Banner ranted at her about the merits of being on time. I didn't like his fucking tone.

All eyes were on her.

But I knew she _felt _me.

My dick was standing at attention. My eyes were all over her, devouring her like a fucking steak. She stumbled toward the only seat in the class, the empty one next to me. My mouth curled up into a dark and crooked smile.

Bella cast her eyes to the floor as she walked down the aisle to the very last table. Her flush was bright red. Those little hands were shaking around the books she clutched to her chest. I could see her nostrils flaring, turning her delicate cheeks a deeper shade of vermillion.

_She fucking smelled me. _

The flat of my tongue swirled over my teeth, forcing my lips to pout exaggeratedly with a click of spit. I swallowed hard.

_Wet-Wildflowers._

Bella was in heat. For me. Her fucking pussy lips swollen, pink and juicy. _For me_.

All rational thought--guilt--responsibility--left me the moment she stepped into the room. I went from pensive to _lust-born-God of_ _her world _in a matter of seconds. Fucking temptress.

I wanted to lick her cunt and hear her scream.

There would be no fucking jeans in my way this time. _Only a room full of students and a teacher_. Fuck.

My throat was on fire, my tongue was made of poison. I wanted my slick muscle inside of her while I held her hips down and ate her like dinner. And dessert. Maybe even fucking breakfast.

_She was going to beg and cum all over my face._

I gripped the lab table. She was close. Those dark chocolate eyes looking up at me beneath her lashes, her chin bowed close to her chest. _Stealthy-fucking-vixen._

Bella started to trip over her own feet, grabbing the same table to steady herself.

I dug my fingers into the wood, desperate to fight the urge to catch her, protect her _and_ attack her. I didn't know which of these three would win out. But I had an idea.

A heavy breath left her lips as she landed in the lab stool next to me. Long, dark brown hair with natural highlights of cherry-red fell along her flushed cheek--like a veil. I held tighter to the table. My lip curled up, exposing my teeth like a fucking animal.

"Mr. Cullen, if you would be so kind as to make our new student welcome," Mr. Banner incredulously barked. His hand was making some wild motion to my books, all stacked neat and pretty on her side of the desk.

My eyes flicked up to him. I growled low in my chest and reached for the offending learning material. I swatted them closer to me, not giving a shit as they scattered across my side of the desk.

Bella bit her lip and set her books down, still hiding in her hair. I could see the glittering whites of her eyes flicking a sideways glance in my direction.

"You're in heat. I can fucking smell you." I hissed low and dangerous. She heard me.

_Wet-wildflowers_. A botanical garden of dripping sex, south of the God damn equator.

My eyes fell into her lap and then back up to her face. I licked my lips.

Bella swayed, her back arching slowly.

"I can smell you too," she nearly whispered, those petal-pink lips shivering.

What little self control I had left was the _only_ thing that kept me from ripping off those skinny-jeans and pounding myself home. She quivered under the heat of my stare, those perfect nipples jutting out like missile silos beneath her blue shirt.

Bella Swan wasn't going to survive the next hour….without smelling like me.

**

BPOV

_You're in heat. I can fucking smell you._

The polar ice caps melted. The earth shifted on its axis. Magnetic North and True South migrated Poles.

_I can smell you too._

The seas rose and boiled. The sun eclipsed the moon. Everything became dust and crumbled in a pyro-clastic flow like the bodies of inhabitants from Pompeii. Frozen in death without knowing life was over.

_Edward Cullen._

My spine arched as the feeling of him invaded me. My eyes held dazzling emerald, unable to pull away. Everything that was anything, faded to the peripheral and passed into the incorporeal.

His breathing…became my breathing. Pitch for pitch.

We sat there at our lab table, in the back of the room, a haze of flaring nostrils and parted lips. Tasting. Breathing. Devouring. _Smelling. _Unmoving.

My heart was thundering in my chest. Time flew and yet stood still.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan, is there going to be a problem with the seating arrangement?" Mr. Banner broke into the place we occupied. I still couldn't turn my eyes.

"Am I going to have to anticipate a problem and separate you?" He threatened.

"Fucking try it." I heard Edward growl through clenched teeth. He never took his eyes from mine. I whimpered softly as that growl went straight through my clothing and finger-fucked me.

"No--no sir," I finally choked out loud enough to be heard. I didn't want Mr. Banner to move me away…I had to turn my eyes. Just for a minute.

I blinked rapidly and hid in my hair, giving Mr. Banner a slow eye-down. People were murmuring, Edward was gripping the table. I was shaking and soaking through my panties.

When I moved my position on the stool, Edward let out a heavy breath. My eyes flickered for half a second, still under Mr. Banner's scrutiny.

Edward was licking his lips. And showing his teeth. He could sense the change in me. I was so incredibly turned-on, even I could taste it in the air between us. It was heavy, needy, begging.

Mr. Banner stopped paying attention as I sat there like a good girl. Mike Newton knocked at the classroom door. I never even saw him leave.

The student closest to the portal stood up and let Mike in. He was dragging a large television perched up on a steel cart. I flicked my gaze to the board where Mr. Banner started chalking scribbling about mitosis stages.

Edward. In the Dark. With me. For thirty-five minutes.

Mike kneeled down and plugged the TV in. Mr. Banner removed the age-old VHS tape from the top of the cart and pushed the button on the unit to switch it to VCR mode.

The lights went dead. One at a time, they flickered into oblivion, bathing the room in inky darkness. Mr. Banner adjusted the volume and sat down at his desk.

I could hear students shuffle around, finding a comfortable place to relax through the video. The two students at the table next to me moved in synch. I could make out the rustle of a jacket used like a pillow or maybe even a blanket. It was too dark to tell.

I bit into the edge of my lip, desperately trying to pay attention to the TV. I wasn't sure how much time had passed in my attempted avoidance.

"Look at me." Edward growled, low. I startled in my seat.

I turned my eyes like a magnet; I could see his wet lips and glittering eyes in the dark…the outline of his face. He was so incredibly gorgeous, so predatory. Sun, sand and leather musk wrapped around me like a cloak.

I rested my head down on my books, my breathing vapid. I felt dizzy and intoxicated.

Edward rested his head on his palm, holding my eyes captive. On instinct we adjusted to be nearer to each other. We were so close I could feel his breath staining my face, burning my lips.

I heard him inhale sharply and my body quivered in response. This wasn't natural, it was so wrong it felt completely right.

Edward leaned in slowly till I could feel his nose brush against my own. I shuddered at the closeness.

"I can't fucking stop myself..." His words fell past his lips, punctuating each hard breath he drew in. I was sure I wasn't meant to hear it, but I couldn't help myself either.

I whimpered, trailing my eyes over him.

"Then don't," I gasped, my words tumbling too fast to take them back.

"Fuck, Bella. What you do to me," he groaned against the side of my mouth, his hand sliding down from the warmth of cradling his face. "Don't ask me to."

"Why?" I gasped, hearing the torment in his voice. My body quivered and the hot, slick muscle of his tongue lapped against the side of my mouth. I parted my lips, inviting more of him.

"Fuck," He cursed under his breath, the tip of his tongue sliding against mine. I could taste his breath. I was home. "I can't control myself…"

His shoulder was shivering in the darkness and I heard his breath hitch as he pulled back. He turned his head up, looking around the room with cautious, predatory grace.

My eyes followed his movement, down his arm at the edge of the lab table.

He was rubbing himself violently through his jeans. Oh, sweet mother of God!

Even through the blasting audio of the biology movie, I could hear the teeth of his zipper lower, metallic and dangerous. I had never seen something so intense and smoldering in all of my life.

I bit my lip and my fingers fell into my lap, twitching to reach out and touch him. Edward never gave me a chance to follow through on my own. His hand gripped me at the wrist and I hitched my breath, biting back a moan at the humming-electric-sex-current between us.

His wet mouth parted and he brought my hand to his mouth, opening my palm like a flower before him. Edward kissed the very center, tickling his lips and nose against my skin. He lingered there, smelling my warm flesh while his teasing kiss passed with slow, sultry motion.

I tingled everywhere at once.

His tongue lapped out, flat and hot on my hand. Languid, sensual strokes repeated until my palm was slick with his saliva.

Edward leaned his head up and curled his lips back. His left hand parted black jeans and drew out glistening, pale skin. I shivered at the sight of his dripping cock in the dim light, unable to break my gaze away.

I gasped and looked around the dark room, shifting against the seam of my jeans, eagerly. A wet breath passed my shaking lips as his right hand gripped mine tightly.

With a strong pull, Edward wrapped our fingers around his cock, tight and tortured and unforgiving.

Shit, he was so heavy. So thick and big and warm.

"Oh, god." I moaned, low. He curled his hand over mine….and stroked my wet palm up to his leaking crown.

His sticky precum stained my skin as he tightened his grip around my hand, strangling his gorgeous big cock.

Edward arched his back and growled. I hoped no one had heard him but I couldn't think straight. Reason was gone. The weight and throbbing heat of him in my hand was the only thing that existed.

He moved our coned fingers tighter, faster. Edward lapped his tongue out at the air, curling his lip back as I heard him inhale. I couldn't stop shaking.

I felt him shift in my hand, his grip over mine forcing his swollen head to bounce between our thumbs, torturing the sensitive skin.

Edward sniffed the air hard. A strangled groan died at his lips. I felt him leaking on my fingers. Sweet lord, the smell of _me_ did this to him. I was getting hotter with every stroke…

I _knew_ what he needed. In my lust-filled, cock-craving brain, something snapped.

I took a fast look around the room, cautiously.

I slid my right down from the table and arched back, giving me breathing room. I dipped into the line of my skinny jeans, down into my panties. I whimpered sharply and his head turned to me.

He gasped.

I passed my fingers over my heat. It felt so good…oh God, I was throbbing and aching. I could hear the heavy wet sound as I rubbed myself.

He snarled, dangerously quiet.

I hissed, desperate and needy.

My hand slid out of my jeans, my body shaking and aching for more.

Edward stroked himself harder, my hand gliding as his precum slicked us over, leaking like a faucet.

I leaned toward him soundlessly and passed my wet finger across his bottom lip…

**

EPOV

Tangerine. Honey. Wet-wildflowers.

Fuck.

I crushed my hand over hers, stroking my cock so fucking hard and fast, I was ready to blow our cover _and_ my load. That hot, wet smell of Bella's heat washed over my senses.

I was lost.

She tensed at my side and my eyes locked into hers. Fuck, she smelled so good, felt so good. I was twitching and leaking and on the verge of screaming.

Her finger passed my lips, glorious and wet and primal. She wanted me to taste her…she fucking knew what it was doing to me.

She knew I was so fucking close I would blow it all with every feral breath that slipped out of my control.

I sucked her taste deep, my tongue lapping as my eyes lidded. I swallowed the snarl that ripped through my chest but Bella heard it. She hissed and I could see the glittering white enamel of her teeth.

I twisted her fingers violently on the head of my cock, choking the twitching flesh. I felt my thighs tense, my lean muscles rippling as it started to take me over.

Her tongue lapped at her lips. She was panting. Fuck, I wanted to pound into her until she begged.

I pushed against her finger with my tongue and it slipped out of my mouth. She ran her finger along my bottom lip. I fucking smelled her. I couldn't hold back….

A growl echoed in my chest and I arched, twitching in our grip.

What Bella did next made me lose my mind.

With a fast glance around the room, Bella licked her lips.

Soundlessly, she leaned over and covered her mouth to my fucking cock. God damn, she was so desperate to make me cum, she didn't care where we were or who could see it.

Holy shit.

Fuck.

She was thirsty for my cum. I couldn't fucking stop, I didn't want to.

I released our hands and gripped the table. I took her hand and entwined our fingers, dragging the scent of wet-wildflowers into my mouth. Fuck, she tasted so good.

My Heaven. My Hell.

Bella's mouth tightened around me, her long hair fanned across my lap. I wrapped my tongue around her finger for every last drop of her taste before releasing her wrist.

I twisted my hand into her dark hair, tugging possessively. Her moan vibrated down into my sac. That little hand wrapped around the base of my dick, so fucking tight. God damn, I wanted her pussy all over me.

I twitched. I snarled. I snapped my fucking teeth in the air.

Hot, thick spurts filled her lips. Sweet-fucking-Christ!

My fist pounded on the table, jolting a half sleeping class wide awake. Bella bolted up from my dick with a mouthful.

"What's going on?" I heard Mr. Banner through my frantic breaths. He was up on his feet, looking around in the darkness.

I stuffed my still quaking cock back into my jeans, my wild sight all over this beautiful girl at my side. She turned her dark chocolate eyes to me…

…and fucking swallowed.

Her lips broke into a freshly-fed smile.

Mr. Banner sat back down, content that the noise had vanished.

I slid my shaking hand up her neck, passing over the mark I had left days ago. I leaned in and pulled her toward me.

I slid my nose against hers, up and down either side of her lips. "I'm gonna make you cum so hard," I whispered and I fucking meant it. This wasn't over till she got-off all over me.

Bella gasped softly, parting her lips.

I slid mine against her. I could fucking taste myself inside her hot little mouth. Her shivering pink tongue darted out to brush mine and I gladly gave it to her, feeling primal and protective and completely fucking owned by this girl.

She swallowed my breaths, stealing them right from my mouth. I wanted her so God damn badly.

The absence of audio meant the movie was over.

I pulled away.

Mr. Banner was up, moving toward the lights. God damn, even my hearing was sharper when I was around Bella.

Burning fluorescent shattered the dark quiet of the room. I surveyed the damage quickly, watching to see who might have heard us. No one turned in our direction. About a dozen people stretched. Some wiped drool off their faces. Thank God for fucking nap time.

Bella cringed under the light, rubbing her eyes. I wanted to smash every God damn bulb that burned her gaze and made her scrunch up like that.

I gathered my books together into a pile and looked over to her end of the desk. The white paper she had waved at Mr. Banner at the start of class was sitting on top of her things. I snatched it before she could stop me.

Her class list.

Just like that, fucking memorized.

Bella had gym next. Then study hall, which basically meant sign in and then head home. Early fucking dismissal. I looked up at the clock. And saw Mike Newton mouthing something to Bella about Gym class.

I folded the paper and set it back down, hard. Bella startled and flushed the moment she looked at me.

"What time do you expect the Chief-of-Police to bust through your door?" I asked through clenched teeth. I narrowed my eyes at Newton. Mr. Fucking-Popularity wanted what was _mine_.

"Five thirty, usually." Bellas voice was soft, taking up the class schedule from the table.

"Be home by three-fifteen" I snarled, possessively. I could see the shiver slide down Bella's spine. Fuck, she was beautiful. "I'm gonna make good on my promise."

Her lips parted and I could taste her breath, laced with me, saturating the air around her. She flushed as the bell rang.

I was up in a shot, kicking the stool noisily behind me. I glared at Mike Newton and let a smug smile draw up at my lips.

Fuck you, Newton.

_She smells like me._

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A/N Brits_23, The most exquisite woman in the world! Give her some love!

Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/

_(make sure to look for the Naughty Nurse in Chapter 13 of EPOV….I made a guest appearance!)_

Lastly, let me take a moment to pimp something incredible, written by the man who _**INSPIRES**_ my _**Snarlward**_. My incredibly talented boyfriend, Matthew has written an ORIGINAL fiction, dark and intense.

_**Matthew actually reads ALL of Edwards POV **__**back to me **__**after I write it. How fuck-hot-awesome is that? Please, show some love. **_

_**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5447496/1/**_

So, was that good for you? *lights up* Tell me about it….

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And now, the Q & A session: Recommended music for the background:

Leonard Cohen, Everybody Knows: http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=KhjQH1FSDm0

_The Full Cast of Breaking Trinity is present, having filed in during your reading. Bottled water litters the stage--a tier styled area reminiscent of a bad-Springer Episode. Yeah, it's just like that._

_Tanya_ glares at Bella.

_Bella_ glares at Tanya.

_Edward _glares at Mike. And Jacob. And Tyler….the list goes ever on.

_Carlisle_ holds Esmes' hand.

_Alice_ plays hangman with Jasper in her journal.

_Emmett_ crosses his arms defensively.

_Me: _Hello Everyone! Thank you all for coming.

_Edward_: Like we had a fucking choice. *snickers* By the way, I fucking love this song. *tilts head to the side, at the background music*

_Me_: *ignores* This is my little disclaimer. If you are easily offended, please exit now. Otherwise, please note the following: The names of our reviewers have been changed to protect the Guilty. I will refer to them by an alias-derivative.

_Charlie_: We still know who they are. Remember that. *glares at Edward*

_Bella: _What is that supposed to mean, Dad?

_Charlie_: Your grounded, that's what.

_Emmett_: Again, great. Now we have to hear Emoward cry and bitch and moan and play the fucking piano all broody like. Wait, is BROODY even a word.

Edward: *flips Emmett the middle finger*

_Rosalie: _Ha! Emoward. You're a fucking genius, baby. *knowing snicker to Emmett*

_Emmett_: I know baby. *poses* You want this.

_Rosalie_: *rolls eyes* your at a 10...we need you at about a 5, baby. Keep it in your pants.

_Emmett_: Sure, I'll keep it in _your _pants, anytime *gets up and starts unbuckling*

_Esme_: *turns colors* Emmett!

_Me_: Moving on then. Our first question is for Edward is from _**Rose**_:

Exactly WHEN do we get to do the Trinity Goddesses, Tori, you and me sandwich? *reads over cue card* Oh, Wait! Hold on! Tori has declined to attend. SO--SUBSTITUTION!--the sandwich will now consist of Marie and Rose?

_Edward_: *covers Bella's' ears and licks his lips* I've got a sac full of mayonnaise for that sandwich. 15-minutes after this interview, I want you both naked and ready to worship…Don't make me snarl. No, let me correct that. Fucking make me snarl.

_Me_: *clears throat* ahem. Okay….thank heaven this is rated M. Our next question is for Edward from _**ash**_:

I have an obvious question for Snarlward...do you have plans to get rid of Tanya anytime soon?

_Edward_: *arches brow* Oh, you could say that.

_Tanya_: But saying isn't doing, is it, Edward? *pops a Xanax and smiles at Laurent* He thinks I am just that easy to make disappear.

_Laurent_: I pity the poor fool…

Emmett: Don't fucking quote Mr. T you shitheel.

_Me_: Simme down you two. So, our next question is for Alice from _**Tori**_:

"What aren't you telling Edward?" It's not fair that Emmett knows while the rest of us are in the dark...

_Alice_: *smiles softly* I see my dreams as clearly as a scrying mirror. There is this dazzling light that falls all over Edward…and it pulses like a lightning flash. So beautiful…and when Bella is near him, it becomes intense. *bites her lip* But there is also a splitting, like someone just cut my brother in half…it's like he is two…until Bella is near him and then he is one… But I am afraid…of the future.

_Jasper_: *looking concerned* Trust them. Its never too late to change what your latest vision sees.

_Edward: _*tightens hands into fists* What? What latest vision? *seethes*

_Jessica_: God, he is so hot when he seethes.

Edward: *temporarily distracted and rolling his eyes at Jessica, he growls in frustration*

_Bella_: *moans at the growl*

_Edward: _*turns to look at Bella with a sexy-bend-over-now-smile. She has gotten up and walked over to Alice to talk to her about the vision. Instead, he gives that panty-licking smile straight to Jasper*

_Jasper_: *in control* That shit don't work with me, I don't have a pussy. Back it down.

_Edward: _Don't flatter yourself.

_Me_: I knew I should have asked Demetri to play bouncer. Damn it. So, moving on. Our next question is for Snarlward/Edward from _**Pug**_:

CAN U READ MINDS?

_Edward: _Nah, _**Pug**_. No mind reading here. I just snarl. A lot.

_Tanya_: Freak.

_Edward: _Bitch.

_Carlisle_: Enough. *voice is calm but steady*

_Me_: And Alice, also a question from _**Pug**_:

CAN YOU ACTUALLY SEE VISIONS?

_Alice: _*sad smile* unfortunately yes. Now, before you ask me why that's unfortunate, I will explain. See, you all get to go to bed at night and find relaxation and joy in the freedom of your subconscious. I…get to watch movies of things that have not yet come to pass…sometimes, Its scary. Like my mind is not…mine. *takes a deep breath* I want to dream dreams of my own.

_Me: _*wipes a way a tear* um, our next question(s) are for Edward from _**TVT**_:

1. This is not a question. More of a demand actually. There WILL be multiple snarls in the very near future. Any other vocalizations will cheerfully be accepted.

_Edward: _*gives _**Steph**_ that smoldering-hot look* Fuck, this is a girl after my own heart. Wanna join me, Marie and Rose in 13 minutes….?

_Bella: _*glares at Edward and then makes some eyes at Jacob* Pale and creamy or Brown and Big? What's a woman to do?

_Edward: _get on your knees. *growls*

_Bella: _For Jacob?

_Edward: _*his lips curl back* I'll fucking kill him…

_Me_: Alright, Emmett, I give you full permission to beat the snot out of anyone…ANYONE who starts acting up. Edward, _**TVT**_ had more questions. Continue.

_Emmett_: Fucking sweet. *flips baseball cap backwards and rolls up his sleeves*

(from _**TVT**_ Continued) 2. Would you please kick vanilla Tanya to the curb as soon as possible? It would be cruel to drag out the unavoidable. Tangerine and honey are so much sweeter...

_Tanya: _WTF?

_Edward: _Seriously, 12 minutes _**TVT**_, we can make this a five-way. And as for Tanya- just watch, this shit is going to be golden.

_Me_: Our next question is for Edward from _**Wifie**_:

Will you be sneaking into Bella's window at night ;)??!!

_Edward_: Oh, you better fucking believe it. *dazzling smile to Wifie*

_Me_: Edward, a Question from _**FromOldTo**_:

so are you like in some kind of 'family' relationship with Tanya? is that why you cant have Bella?

_Edward_: We aren't blood but we might as well be. Its extremely complicated.

_Carlisle_: _**FromOldto**_, there are long standing histories between our two families. Tanya, Irina, Katrina and Carmen's parents were like our extended kin.

_Esme_: So much love, so much loss.

*I hate it when Esme looks so sad. I need a water break….*

****************BRIEF INTERMISSION****************

*Emmett has Edward in a headlock by the time I get back and Charlie is urging Jacob to remain calm*

_Me_: Okay, I don't think I want to know. *snickers* And now, we are back with a question for Edward from _**MarieC**_

Do you want a repeat performance of the night of the party? if so is there anywhere in the school you would like to do it?? would you keep that panty too?

_Edward_: *returning to his seat, rubbing the ack of his neck* Oh shit yeah, that night was so fucking hot. Hmm, anywhere in the school? How about in the parking lot on the hood of my car with everyone watching?

_Me_: *to Edward* You've been reading Clipped Wings and Inked Armor over my shoulder haven't you?

_Edward_: That's a fuck hot story. That god damn scene was snarl worthy.

_Me:_ Um, I am disturbed. Your talking about…well you as Tatward.

_Edward_: I'd fucking do me.

_Emmett_: You do that _enough_, cant find a single fucking tissue or paper product in the damn house 'cause Spanky-the-Wonder-wank is lovin himself to death.

Edward: Fuck you. If you were me--you would want to do me too.

_Me_: Wow, that didn't make a lick of sense. *daydreams about two-Edwards, blushes and sputters for air* _**MarieC**_ is waiting patiently for the last part of her question to be answered, Edward.

_Edward_: And yeah, I would I would strip those panties and lick the fuck out of them with my dick buried deep inside of Bella.. Double-fucking-hot. *snarls*

_Bella_: *hisses and spreads her thighs and leans back in her chair, giving Edward the come-hither eyes.*

_Edward_: *smug smile, licking the air for that taste of tangerine. Honey. Wet-wildflowers.*

_Me_: *fans self*

Jessica: *nearly passes out*

Tanya: *Squirms in her seat*

_Me_: *still shakey* Okay, question for Edward from _**trutwilight**_

So, Edward...it seems that I've come across a certain pair of pink panties. What exactly would you be willing to do to get them back? *raises eyebrow and licks lips*

_Edward_: The pink panties? Little lacy fucking see-through Bella panties? Shit, I will whip it out right here and do whatever you fucking want. Those are my fucking favorite…

_Me_: *clears throat and thinks Bella should probably not be here for the rest of this* So we have some questions from _**Stephk**_:

1. Jessica: What was going through your mind after witnessing the exchange between Bella & Edward in the cafeteria? What were you and Lauren discussing when Bella walked out of the bathroom?

_Jess_: Um, I was totally knowing something was up. I mean, every girl in school crushes on Edward, look at him! Damn bronze-haired god! If I asked for a show of hands, everyone would be trolling that. *wistful sigh*

But, I was totally confused. Like--there is Edward just staring Bella down like a thanksgiving dinner. But I was kinda dazzled…*pops her gum* Well, my lil chat with Lauren was kinda…how do I say this…informative. Lauren asked me if Bella ever had a boyfriend or if she was seeing anyone cause Tyler was totally hard for lil MissThang. And, well, I kinda dished the dirt. I told her about the Edward thing too…

_Bella_: Bitch!

_Jess_: Slut.

_Bella_: I still love you.

_Jess_: What's not to love?

_Edward_: Well, I just went soft. *grumbles*

_Me: _2/3 from _**Stephk**_ we continue! Focus, Edward, your dick will recover, I am positive.

_Edward_: Yeah, it is pretty fucking magical, wanna see.

_Me_: *rolls eyes* Ahem, question 2 from _**Stephk**_, please.

First- what are you going to do about Tanya? Break up with her? Tell the truth about the hook-up w/Bella? Are you going to tell Bella about Tanya, be honest with her?

_Edward_: Well *rubs neck* Some things leaked out and it was beyond my control *Gives-Jessica-that-die-bitch-scowl* it's a tough situation but doing the right thing isn't always the best thing…and sometimes, being bad brings you good. So, I think we all know where Tanya and I were heading…but some things became complicated along the way. You will see.

_Me_: *thinks, complicated doesn't even begin to cover it* And from _**Stephk**_ a question for Bella:

Did Victoria know that you & James were exclusive? On the chance that the answer is no, are your feelings any different toward her if she honestly thought that James was unattached?

_Bella_: *draws her knees to her chest, resting her chin on the bony outcropping* I don't think she knew at first but at some point she had to have figured it out. I don't really know when that would have been. And…I don't hate her. *speaks softly now* _He_ was the one I was in the relationship with. James and I were committed to each other…whether Victoria knew or not, I hold him responsible.

_Me_: wow, that was…insightful, Bella.

_Bella: _*nods softly, lost in memories so deep and dark even Edward cant reach her*

_Me_: Our last question is for Jess from _**Rochelle**_:

When you first met Bella, what about her or her personality made you want to be her friend?

_Jess_: Well, I met Bella a long time ago. We totally played with our dolls in the mud and I pretended it was a spa that my mother totally took me too when I was little. Course, I wasn't old enough to enjoy it then. *snickers* Over the years, Bella just…blew my mind. I could totally be myself around her and I never had to worry she would hate me for being the real me.

_Alice_: There's a saying about stuff like that. Women are natural enemies until something makes them friends…and women are friends until something makes them enemies.

_Esme_: Well said.

_Bella_: *nods*

_Jess_: I want to say that Bella deserves good things. But I am selfish sometimes. I love her but well, I guess I'm just used to the attention being on me. *sad smile* But I do love her, Rochelle. In my heart she really is my best friend.

_Me_: *looks at her watch* Alright, that is all of the time we have. Thank you all for being here. Especially our illustrious readers.

_Reviews, comments and leaving luv are always appreciated! xoxoxoxoxox_


	10. Desire is Hunger

Disclaimer: Twilight, the glorious brain child of Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing. However, Breaking Trinity ©2009. Stealing is Bad Karma. Snarlward doesn't like thieves. Otherwise, feel free to 3R-- (read, rec, review)

All of my love to Brits23, the most beautiful person in the world. Ever. Without her, I would be posting Lemons that read like, "and they did it," and angst that says only, "trust me, it's bad." Thank you, Brit. For everything you do and everything you are. *humps leg* ßsee, that's the kind of lemon I would totally write without her. (please see below for the links to Brits amazing work)

I posted this early as a **Thank you **for all of the wonderful words. Special Love to my ladies on the Twilighted Thread. Come visit us and get the teasers your craving! Link is in my profile!

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Chapter Nine: Desire is Hunger

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BPOV

_Be home by three-fifteen. _

My hands were shaking when I signed myself into Study Hall. I clutched my books to my chest and looked up at the clock. Two-fifty-two.

"_Hey Jess?" I asked quietly as we stood on the front rotation line for volleyball, nestled up to the net._

"_What's up, Bells? Everything okay?" She quirked a brow and cast a side glance over to me without losing concentration on the opposing team that was getting ready to serve. _

"_Study hall," I broke off and saw the white, hard ball coming right at me. I froze, curling my hands up to my chest. It was coming right for me. "Oh, God!"_

"_Got it!" I heard Mike behind me. A whoosh of air released as he drove in, pushing me forward with his body from mid-line. He bumped with the bridge of his arms. "Bella, set!"_

_Was he kidding? The ball was coming back from its upward spin, right for me? Gimme a break!_

_I stuck my arm out and the hard plastic bit into the inside of my wrist. The ball skittered behind me. Damn, that stung like hell!_

"_Got it!" I heard Mike again. I looked over my shoulder and he spiked at mid court, sending the offending missile smoothly over the net before the opposing team could respond. _

_He winked at me, pleased with himself._

"_Thanks Mike." I rubbed my hand, trying to smooth the red mark out of my skin. The rotation line was moving again._

_Jess brushed her hand back through her hair and smiled at Mike before returning her attention to me. "What about study hall?"_

"_Do you have to stay the class period or can you go, like early dismissal?" I asked sheepishly. _

"_Oh, got a hot date?" She teased with a waggle of her brow. I turned red. Mikes blue eyes narrowed._

"_No, I um…just wanted to get a start on the grocery shopping is all. You know, get things done early?" I chewed my lip._

"_Thought it was steak and cobbler night at the diner?" Her forehead creased as she cast a fast look to Mike and then back to me. What was going through her mind?_

"_I, um, need to get some tofu and stuff. I think what I have in the refrigerator is expired." I really couldn't lie to save my life._

"_Whatever," she shrugged her shoulders. "And yeah, it's like early dismissal. Just sign in and go about your merry way."_

"_Thanks," I said quietly. She was looking at me with accusing eyes._

_Jessica didn't say anything for the rest of the class period._

_Mike Newton saved me from death by volleyball at least a hundred more times. A roguish smile played on his lips every time he managed to protect me. Or show-off. Or rub up against me. _

_Maybe that last one was just my imagination._

_Judging by the look on Jessica's face by the end of the three-game spree, maybe it wasn't._

Focusing myself back from memory, my red truck came alive with a turn of the ignition. I crept through the parking lot as the beast backfired; the sound was like a gunshot ripping through the sterile, rainy lot.

The shiny silver Volvo was gone.

I gripped the wheel with clammy, shaking hands. My drive home was only fifteen minutes, but every mile back to Charlie's unassuming little house felt like an eternity. Was I going to make it in time?

I could hear Edwards voice in my head. Over and over again.

_I'm gonna make good on my promise._

I brushed a lock of hair behind my ear nervously before reaching the knobs on my outdated AM-FM radio. I needed something to distract me.

Static. More static. Talk radio. The Golden Oldies.

Classical. I left it there. It won by default. Doo-wop was far from tolerable in my frame of mind.

I tried to focus on the road, but those glittering emerald eyes were haunting me. I couldn't believe what we had done in Biology class. Never, in all of my life, would I have imagined I would be one of _those_ girls.

The scent of him, the closeness of his body, even the heat of his breath on my face--all of it was just too much to bear. It was like everything around me just went away. I didn't care about being caught or the potential consequences. There was only this intense _need_ to be closer to him.

Touch, taste, hiss, moan.

Sun. Sand. Freshly cured leather.

My heart skipped a beat as I turned onto the county road that was going to take me all the way home.

Where Edward was going to meet me. Wait, how did he know where I lived?

It dawned on me just then, that I was racing home to have sex with him. Not only had I helped stroke him off under the lab desk, but I had rubbed myself and put my wetness all over his lips. When I felt him twitch in my grip, all sticky with his lust…I took him into my mouth….

…and swallowed him. God, he tasted so good. Salty and sweet and almost addicting.

What kind of girl actually does something like that? Hadn't I been raised better than that, taught to respect myself and be responsible? We could have been caught and what would Charlie have said then? At the time I didn't care about the repercussions. I was greedy for him.

I never felt so liberated, so out of control and yet, still comfortable with it. Edward didn't force me to do anything I didn't _want _to do. And I wanted to do it again and again and again.

Shit, I really was a whore.

_Nunnery. Nunnery. Nunnery. _

_Stop it, Bella. Right now._

Wait--stop this thing I had with him or stop calling myself a whore? I waited for my inner-psychotic-chastising-voice to re-emerge.

_Sure, now you go quiet on me._

I pulled my truck into the make shift driveway in the back of the house. Charlie much preferred to leave his cruiser in the front in case he had to leave on a call.

My truck's carburetor rattled and kicked beneath the hood, finally quieting down with a last pitiful groan. I gathered my haversack and errant books that just didn't fit inside it and opened my door.

Frantically, I looked around me for any sign of the silver Volvo Jess had pointed out at the start of the day. Nothing. Had I taken too long? Was it after three-fifteen?

I made the walk up to the back door and slid my key nervously in the lock.

I felt like such a fool. Had I actually expected Edward Cullen to be here? When did I lose touch with reality completely? To believe someone so perfect and ungodly gorgeous would actually and purposefully be interested in me, even for sex, was a stretch of imagination.

He probably just said he would be here so I wouldn't feel bad about what I had done in Biology. Maybe he just felt guilty that he couldn't reciprocate at the time?

All of that was assuming he wasn't some sadistic monster. The kind that would set a girl up and then sit back and laugh about it with his friends. Oh God, would word get out to the senior class tomorrow that I was some kind of sexual-freak that got their jollies off of something like that?

I groaned and set my books on the kitchen counter, fighting the panic and anxiety rising in my throat. I dug around in my haversack for my cell phone and flipped it open.

_Three-sixteen…._

….he wasn't coming.

**

EPOV

Emmett was doing wall push-ups, much to the delight of all girls in the class room. Mr. Basttion laughed when he saw the action commence and I shook my head. We still had a few minutes before class would actually begin.

I was still shaking as I waited for Mr. Basttion to set all of his notes out before him on the desk.

"So, what's on your mind, Edward?" He asked in dulcet tones, casting a glance up at me between paper shuffling.

I rubbed my hand on the back of my neck. A nervous habit. "I had a question for you. Psych based."

Mr. Basttion raised to full attention, placing his hands in his pockets, those steady silver-grey eyes on me comfortingly. I knew he could read my body language. The mixture of anger and guilt mixing with curiosity, and the remnants of what had just happened in Biology. Of course, he probably wouldn't be able to decipher that last part, no matter how well he knew me.

"What's on your mind?" He asked again. I had his undivided attention.

"Did you have any theories on," I rubbed the back of my neck more vigorously, "scent?"

"Scent, Edward?" He smiled non-judgmentally. Mr. Basttion was only a few years older than me. Some kind of savant-early placement type with a Masters, working toward Doctorate in Psychology. He dedicated two Saturdays a month to free counseling and group therapy.

"You have to be a little more specific than that." His face was placid but I knew he was studying me.

"Pheromones," I said, low and uneven.

"The only grounded theory on pheromones is the McClintock Effect, the Psycho-neuro-endocrinology response of women altering 28-day cycles to mimic one another, regardless of individual female-biomechanics." Mr. Basttion quirked a brow, intrigued. "There is a gaining theory on androstadienone emitted by the male species that seems to have clinical effect on ovulating women. But the responses are mixed."

I took a deep breath. "Can it trigger a psychological reaction or some kind of psychosis?"

"You have to give me more than that, Edward." Mr. Basttion shook his head, trying to draw it out of me. I fucking hated feeling so weak.

"Alright," I sighed and squared off close to him, desperate to shield myself from being overheard. "Let's say there is a girl and the way she smells--not her shampoo or soap but her _very_ personal fragrance--made you react…in a very primal way."

"Love and sex are chemical impulses. Either of those could count as a psychosis, since one or both parties are temporarily out of their proverbial minds." He laughed, trying to make me feel at ease. "I think you might want to research the hypothalamus, the animal side of our brain that still controls all our more primal functions."

This wasn't getting us anywhere. People were starting to filter in and take random seats along the desks and floors. Mr. Basttion was a free spirit when it came to his method of teaching. I let out a heavy breath and started to turn away.

"Edward," Mr. Basttion said, low enough for me to hear him. I paused.

"Man is beast and beast is man. Civility is a forced state that separates us from our other half. We are not a perfect amalgamation or there would be no need for war, drugs and social psychology."

He had my attention.

"Incorporating two halves will always make a whole. To fight instinct is to square off against the self. We are duality, triplicates in some cases according to Freud. If this _girl_ affects this _guy_ in such a way as to ignite and join two sides of the self, there is only the psyche to roadblock the way." He continued, "Primal is the nature of instincts and within it, response to stimulus is wholly natural. Adrenaline rushes when afraid or confronted, the body pistons pleasure in the name of reproduction. It is hand and glove. Sword and sheath."

"Thank you, Mr. Basttion." I nodded my head. "Emmett and I are going to have to cut class a little early."

"You need a pass for Mr. Molina's class?" I knew the two of them were friends. Mr. Molina was no push over but I might get away with skipping his class if the slip had Mr. Basttion's name on it.

I nodded, appreciatively and lost in thought.

I walked back toward my seat and lounged into the desk, looking over at Emmett. He wiped his brow. I thought I heard fan girls making noises behind me and rolled my eyes.

_Two halves of a whole. _

"Emm, I need you to do me a favor," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. Another nervous habit.

"What's up?" He clasped his gigantic paw over my shoulder and I could hear him sniffing the air. Instinct must run in the family. "Bella, huh?"

His voice was a low whisper but I still felt like hearing him aloud violated some secret I was keeping. "I need you to ride back to the house with me and pick up your jeep."

"Cutting calculus?" He sat himself on the desk behind me, tenting his hands between his knees.

"Yeah and I don't want to leave you and Alice stranded. So in about five minutes, Mr. Basttion is going to excuse us."

Emmett nodded. "I don't approve of how you're going about it and I hope you're going to fix what you're breaking before it gets out of hand. But this isn't my life, or my dick, so do what you need to do."

I snickered. "Yeah, if only Mom, Dad and Alice end up seeing it the same way."

"Alice hasn't changed since we were kids. She always played the cop and you always played the robber, remember? You're her twin for fuck's sake, sit her down and talk to her. Give her some credit."

Mr. Basttion's booming yet lyrical voice took over the roar of the classroom.

"Welcome back from Spring break, class. I know you all have busy social lives but I will ask you to put all cell-phones, iPods and various other implements of the electronic persuasion in a safe place."

I looked over my shoulder to Emmett. He was smiling like a cat with a mouse under its paw.

"What?" I mouthed, narrowing my brow.

"Mom and Dad are going to kill you." I read his lips perfectly and turned around in my seat, facing away from him. Yeah, I was brooding. But only because he was right.

"Mr. Emmett Cullen, would you be kind enough to give us a brief review on Maslow's Pyramid?" Mr. Basttion cut through the tension and I could hear Emmett jerk his head up, suddenly.

"Um, okay," he gulped. Mr. Basttion was my fucking hero.

I glanced at my watch, fighting off the aching that burned through my body. Two halves of a whole.

_Was it three-fifteen yet?_

*

BPOV

_Three-sixteen…_

…_he wasn't coming._

I slammed my phone closed and turned around to stuff it back into my haversack. God, I was such a….

"Waiting for someone?"

My eyes jolted up to wild bronze hair and emerald green eyes piercing me from the doorway. How? When? Why didn't I smell him?

"No," I defended, instantly. "I just got in…"

_And left my door wide open._

"Aren't you going to invite me inside?" Edward's calm voice stoked my flame. All my fear and anxiety was gone and a hot flush colored my face.

"You're late." I said with a heavy breath. That was my only fever-crazed invitation.

"Thought you weren't waiting?" The sound of his footsteps echoed on linoleum as he closed the door behind him.

"I-I wasn't." He saw right through me. The metallic click of the lock made my skin shiver. "I didn't…" I stopped myself. _Didn't what, Bella? Smell him coming?_

"Didn't catch my scent?" He turned, moving toward me. Like a predator.

"N-no." I took a step back, locking onto emerald eyes. Like prey.

"I was downwind. And I'm not late. I was just watching you…anxious and unguarded. The scent of you changes you know, just like now."

There it was and I was shaking. _Sun. Sand. Edward's leathery musk._

"Oh," I managed, my breath catching on my lips. I was still backing up. "How did you know where I live?"

"Your father is the Chief of Police, Bella. This is a small town." I was still backing away. He was gaining on me.

"Stop moving." Edward's voice was a sharp command as he slowed his advancement, drawing in audible breaths. He licked his lips slowly.

I stopped mid stride. I was panting.

He removed his jacket slowly, setting the black wool over the chair closest to him and never taking his eyes from me. "Come here, Bella."

God, the way he said my name. It was like his lips and tongue wrapped around every syllable, possessively.

My hands were quivering at my sides. Those emerald eyes were darkening. I was drawn to them, to him, like a magnet. I made careful strides, tasting the electric hum of lust between our bodies with every closing step.

Edward's hand grasped me around my waist, pulling me in the rest of the distance. I moaned and went achingly stiff at his touch, whimpering as our bodies collided. The silk of his skin passed up along my neck, skimming the mark he had left me days ago.

"You're out of breath already and I haven't even started with you, yet." His breath splayed across my face as I turned my chin up to him, my lips trembling at his closeness. Edward's hand tightened at the side of my neck, making the flesh taut, so near to his bite.

He inhaled sharply, passing his nose against my cheek to my ear. "Do you like wearing my mark, Bella?"

I whimpered in response. I felt his smoldering breath release in an arrogant chuckle and the edge of his lips skimmed my ear. "I watched you touching it at lunch, fingering over it _so_ slowly. Do you fuck yourself like that, teasing my mark when you writhe and hiss and cum?"

"Yes," I gasped. Edward tightened his fingers against my neck, squeezing the tender bruise slowly. I arched into his body, pressing my nails into his hips.

"Fuck." He growled, his wet tongue lapping down my cheek, all the way to my chin. "I'm gonna make you scream, Bella."

"Edward," I whimpered when I felt his teeth nibble along my chin and slowly onto my bottom lip.

His hips pressed against me, trapping his cock into my hip. I could feel the heat of him through denim. I rubbed my thighs together, desperate for friction. The sopping wet sound of my sex and the intoxicating scent of my desire made his breath hitch.

Edward leaned back, his chest heaving wildly. "I fucking dream of hearing you say my name like that. Where is your bedroom, Bella? So fucking help me, I will have you right here."

I shivered, stepping away. The loss of his body was hell. The intensity of his eyes was heaven.

My breaths were wild as I backed out of the kitchen, using my hands on the wall to guide me when we came into the adjoin of the living room. Edward followed, lifting his sweater and under-shirt over his head, tossing it onto the stairs as he followed me.

I mimicked his motion and tossed my snug-blue shirt over the banister, reaching behind me to unclasp my shimmery-white bra. I nearly lost my footing.

His hand encircled my naked waist protectively and I braced his shoulder for safety. We were still face to face, with every precarious step backward I was taking. I couldn't, I wouldn't take my eyes off of him.

Edward licked his lips slowly, audibly sniffing around him. He no longer needed my guidance. My scent was strongest in my room and he led me right there, backing me up and over the threshold till my knees hit the bed.

"Fuck, you're everywhere." His eyes rolled back, teeth snapping into the air between us. His hand released from my waist, flipping open the catch of his jeans. He palmed over his twitching cock in sensory overload, denim clinging to his hips.

I was instantly jealous of the material and bared my teeth.

Edward's free hand gripped my hair, his eyes feasting on his mark. I could feel his hot breath, burning the shorn flesh.

I hissed in desperation, my nails biting into his skin.

"Mine." He snarled in lust, twisting my hair violently in his grip.

Emerald eyes were nearly black.

We needed this. There was no going back…

*

EPOV

The bruise of my teeth in her skin.

I marked her. _Fucking mine._

Her beautiful face turned with the grip I had on her hair, my fingers twisting aggressively into dark brown silk. The scent of her was everywhere, saturating the room. I fucking rubbed myself violently through my jeans, feeling my dick twitch.

Her nails were in my skin. I growled.

I needed her. Everything else was a lie, and she was the only truth I've ever fucking known. The world was shallow and dead. There was only the hot electric pulse of her body to feed me life.

Dark chocolate eyes cast a sideways glance to me and she licked her parted lips. One hand left my skin. She rubbed over her aching nipple, plump and tenting white fucking satin.

My hand released her hair instantly and she pinched the hard bud, mewling with lust.

"Take it off." My voice was like venom through clenched teeth. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to stop rubbing my dick.

Bella's back arched and the previously unclasped bra fell from her shoulders. A pool of virginal-white-shimmery-material.

I pulled her to me, grinding my hips into her jeans. Her tongue met mine, outside the rim of her lips. The air between us filled with wet, sliding sounds and panting breath.

My fingers traced the mark on her neck. She tensed and moaned, suckling my tongue into her mouth. Oh, my girl liked my marks. I wanted to cover her fucking skin in them.

I pressed her body into mine, chest to chest, feeling the firm swell of her perfect tits ride my hard muscle. I nudged my teeth to her lip as she released the sweet suck on my tongue. Fuck, Bella had a perfect God damn suck.

My dick twitched in remembrance.

I slid my hands down her hips and opened the catch on her jeans, nudging the skinny-tight material down her thighs until it broke off of her body. I was fucking panting.

"Get on the bed." I growled as she moved, tugging the denim off of her as she did. Chocolate brown eyes flashed wildly.

And there she was, in a pair of white fucking panties, on a purple fucking comforter. Fuck. Bella was a shivering, beautiful mess.

I leaned over the bed and her fingers slid into my wild bronze hair. I moaned as she tugged on the ends, discovering my fucking fetish for a good-hard-pull. My fingers brushed over her nipples, pinching hard as I hissed against her mouth. Her perfect fucking tongue lapped out to taste my sneer-curled lip.

She twisted her little fingers harder into my hair.

I fucking snarled.

I took her hips into my hands and dragged her to the edge of the bed as she released her hold. My eyes took hers captive and I knelt down in front of her.

_Tangerine. Honey. Wet Wildflowers_.

Fuck. It was intense.

I spread her legs and lifted her knees, my eyes never leaving hers.

"These are coming with me. Take it off." My voice was like gravel. I fucking inhaled her.

She gasped, lifting her hips and tugging at the white-shimmery satin. I pulled them down her long, gorgeous legs.

I lifted them to my nose, inhaling thickly before dragging my tongue on the hot material. Sharp breaths left my lips.

I was fucking shaking.

"Oh God," she whimpered, spreading her thighs before me.

I stuffed her panties into my pocket and gripped her knees, guiding them over my shoulders. My hands were trembling, my dick twitching.

Bella grabbed the comforter in her little fingers.

I bowed my head at the altar of her sex, dragging her hips to me.

Pink. Swollen. Wet. Wildflowers.

I wanted to worship her.

**

BPOV

I gripped the comforter, gasping as his hot breath passed over my wet skin.

Edward inhaled, thick and sharp, licking his lips as he drew closer.

"Fuck," he whimpered at the core of my body. "…so strong….I _need_ this…_Bella_…"

I felt his hands push my thighs open and I nearly fell back with the intensity. Oh, God, right there…

"Edward!" I cried out.

His tongue lapped thick and slow into the folds of my dripping wet center. So soft, sweet God, I could feel his tongue shaking against me.

I was panting, breathless. I heard him growl…and his head came between my legs hard and unyielding.

His teeth, nose, lips…pressed against my pussy and the heat of his tongue filled me, lapping hot and fast from my entrance to my clit. When he shivered his nose against my throbbing bud, I screamed, fisting the sheets.

_Oh God, please!_

The wet sound of his mouth made me gasp. He drank me, thick and hungry and I felt him rise up against the bed.

I reached for him, wrapping my fingers into his hair. I pulled softly and his teeth gripped my clit, tight and shaking the sensitive bud desperately, making my body clench. He felt so good!

The hot suction of his mouth made me whimper and he rose up further, pressing my knees back against my body, using his forearm to block behind them. Edward lapped slow, hard strokes, wetting his face with me.

I writhed against him and his tongue drove into my body. He cried out, plunging his slick hot muscle deep, licking himself into me. My hips rocked, I made sounds only _he_ could evoke.

When I felt his teeth at my walls, his nose nudging my clit, I screamed, tugging his hair so hard I thought I would hurt him.

Edward snarled. Deep and low. And slid two fingers into my dripping sex.

"Oh God!"

"I'm your fucking God!" He growled so deep, so primal--I arched my back. "You're mine, do you hear me? _You're fucking mine_!"

I hissed and whimpered as his mouth pressed into me, forcing me to curl back onto myself. My eyes tightened, closing till I saw stars behind the lids. His fingers twisted and curled inside of me and he slipped his tongue into my body, drinking me down.

"I'm so….Edward!" I screamed.

I felt his fingers leave my body, replaced by the hot thrust of his tongue and the feel of his teeth against my pussy lips. I shook my head violently from side to side. His hand moved up my slit, pressuring his thumb against my clit.

"Edward!" I cried out, so much pleasure, so intense. It built. I couldn't hold it. I couldn't stop it.

"All over my tongue…fuck…I taste it…fuck…Bella…I'm…gonna…."

His tongue took me hard, hooking into my walls. I could hear him suckle my dripping wetness as his thumb rubbed viciously against my clit.

"Edward!" I arched and convulsed, screaming as I came. I pulled tight on his wild hair, riding my pussy against his face. Edward tongued me deep, lapping at my pussy, sucking my release into his mouth. He was whimpering and shaking against me, jerking in violent motion.

"Please…Edward…I need you…"

**

EPOV

I felt her getting closer. The sweet fucking taste becoming so strong, I was losing my control. I lapped and feasted and surrounded myself with her. Licking, biting, sucking, fingering. I worshipped on my knees.

I was rewarded with heaven.

Tangerine. Honey. Wet wildflowers.

I was aching, shivering into her body, feeding myself and giving her everything. Two halves of a whole.

Her tight walls clenched on my tongue. I arched and growled and whimpered. _Fucking whimpered_ in supplication to a power stronger than we were.

I came, hard.

_With her_.

_Fucking heaven_. And I never even touched myself.

"Please…Edward…I need you…"

She begged.

My dick twitched. I was still shaking from my own release. I was still so fucking hard, it hurt. _What the hell happened to recovery time?_ Shit, with her, I couldn't get enough...and my dick knew it.

Bella's legs fell down from my shoulders and I slid my jeans and boxers down my thighs. My cum was still hot bound inside of cotton and denim. The material was off of me so fast she barely had time to slide back on the bed.

I took myself in hand, shaking. My eyes were predatory, looking down on her writhing naked flesh like a mountain lion ready to feast.

"Edward," she whimpered, parting her thighs wide. She showed herself to me, her glistening cunt aching to be filled.

"Tell me what you want." _I already knew._ I growled and leaned over her, stroking my cock slowly, my fingers still slick with her. I let her feel me fuck my hand, my knuckle grazing her clit.

She arched up, desperate for my touch. "I want you inside…I want to feel you cum in me."

"Who do you belong to? Say it." My words were hard, dark, possessive.

"You, always. Only you. _Please_." Fuck. She was my mate, my equal, my heaven.

She was mine.

"Mine," I growled, sliding my cum swollen tip against her quivering, freshly-eaten cunt. God damn, she made me shake.

I clenched my teeth. "Your legs…over my shoulders. I want to cum deep. I want to see you leaking with me."

Bella's quivering knees drew up, her legs passing over my shoulders as I knelt before her, slowing my hand down. How the fuck was I still so hard, so needing?

Her knees passed over my shoulders. "Look at me."

Tear-filled chocolate eyes held mine. Overcome with joy, lust, desire, contentment.

_I feel it to._

I leaned down, gripping my twitching dick. Her small hands gripped my shoulders. _My free hand slid along her cheek. "My other half…" _

_A serene, unfamiliar expression flashed across her face before I filled her with my swollen, throbbing cock. _

"Oh God Edward!" Bella cried out as I slid deep, to the hilt inside of her. _Hand and glove. Sword and sheath. _

"Bella!" I moaned as she took me in. Her name fell from my lips, so new and different and right. I wanted to savor it with her walls tight and hot and gripping me.

I crushed my weight down onto her, sliding my hands under her shoulders and pulling her to me. I wanted to smother myself in her skin.

"Fuck, Bella!" She was mine. She belonged to me.

My eyes threatened to roll closed as I seated myself deep into her body, unable to move, letting the weight of it all surround me. Her breathing was wild, her hands sliding along the back of my neck.

It felt too good. Too right. She was already shaking under me.

"Hard, Edward…please…"

My girl wanted it hard. I was going to ride her into fucking oblivion. Wait for it....

Two halves of a whole. _Bella, what are you doing to me?_

"Shhhh..." My breath hitched. My body was still, the feeling of her walls milking against me, so ready to feed me her release a second time. I had to fight to stay immobile. "Tell me what you feel..."

Bella bit into her lip, my breath falling all over her face. She tried to move her hips beneath me. She was pinned. "You. Perfect. _You_. I want more. It's not enough. It's never going to be enough!"

_Desperation_.

My tongue tasted her chin, cheek, lower lip. Fucking consumed. Addicted. The passage of my slick muscle made her gasp and yelp. I breathed her in.

I tasted _us_.

She was everything.

The realization burned into my soul, etching my skin in sweat as I fought to remain fucking still. I wanted to memorize her, inside. Fuck. It hurt so good.

Her little fingers ripped my world to pieces.

"Beg me," I hissed, feeling her legs shake with the strain of stillness. Her chest was heaving. I could feel her heartbeat through her ribs.

Bella mewled in frustration, bating me with a show of her teeth. I owned her body. I wanted more.

"You fucking need this as much as I do," I growled. She felt too good. Too right. _Admit it. _"Beg. Me."

She knew what she wanted. What we needed. I watched the shadows of my shivering hair fall over her face.

"Fucking let go, Bella." I growled.

Chocolate eyes yielded. She inhaled my breath.

"Edward...please...give me what I need," she whimpered, her hands around my neck, fingers in my hair. "Please…make me yours…I'm addicted..."

I broke. My lip curled into a sneer.

"Fucking take all of me," I felt her body seized beneath me. That first thrust. God damn, my dick twitched inside of her. I felt her grip me, tighter than a fucking fist.

I was desperate, pistoning, shaking, feeling her pussy yield to me. I rode her hard. There was no other way to quell the ache.

Fuck, she was so tight like this. It hurt.

I wanted to punish us. Too good. Too right. We could never fucking _be!_

We already were.

"Edward!" Her cries were agonizingly beautiful. Her hips pressed forward.

I lost my self control.

**

BPOV

I let go. _Addicted_.

Emerald eyes cradled me like a sacred relic. _The truth will set you free_...

He was inside of me, deep. I could feel my body stretching, aching, yawning. He wouldn't move...

I arched, whimpered, bared my teeth and challenged him.

Only when I _gave _myself, did I finally _receive_ him.

His fingers splayed over my face, the tension in his body making him arch his shoulders and draw my legs toward my ears.

So deep...

Thrust. _Oh God, yes._

His lips were braced against mine, I felt the power of his body move him forward. I seized, clutched, gripped. He fit so perfectly.

The other half of me.

It hurt. We hurt. I felt it like desperation.

"Make me yours!" The sounds that left my lips were inhuman. He swallowed every cry I gave him, into his body.

_Addiction._

"I can't fucking stop...Bella," Edward cried out as my hips rode into him.

Emerald eyes rolled back. His hands took mine, driving them into the bed.

"I don't ever want you to stop," I cried out, shivering as his words sank into my skin.

His body destroyed me, making me tremble, making me drown in his keening cries, his desperate curses.

I tightened around him. He was so deep, everywhere inside of me. Edward couldn't get deep enough, we needed more.

I arched wildly against him.

_Right there_. Sweet-Holy-Mother.

I shivered. He growled, the tip of his cock dragging inside of me, pressuring...pushing...

Again. That place inside. _Oh, God_.

"Edward!" I screamed till I could taste raw blood in the back of my throat.

"Fucking hold it!" He growled, hard wet slapping of our sex colliding.

I bit my lip till it bled.

His mouth drank me. _Right there_..._that spot_.

"Fucking right there, Bella?" He snapped his lips from mine, red and stained with fresh blood. "Is that the spot, baby? Fuck, your clenching...hold it back...God damn it!"

I sank my nails into his body, arching wildly beneath him, trapped and desperate. The tip of his cock teased me, dragging hot and heavy inside of me, tormenting me.

White hot lightning flashed before my eyes.

His mouth was at my ear. Panting breaths.

"Found the fucking E spot, didn't I, baby?" My fingers fisted in his hair. He turned my head viciously to the side.

Teeth. Deep in my shoulder. "Please!"

_Copper. Sex. Us._

Teeth and skin and bone and _need. _

My red was on his chin. I tightened. "Please Edward..."

"Cum. All over my dick," he growled, pushing our hands and hips into the bed.

The world faded into white hot sparks.

"Fuck," Edward snarled, driving so deep I could only scream.

"I'm begging..." Tears of pure release streamed down my eyes.

"So am I," his cries were strangled. "...don't ever want...to stop."

Hands in my hair. Emerald eyes.

Sun. Sand. _US_.

He dragged me over the edge, his teeth against my lower lip. I tasted his breath, his cock so deep inside of me. I felt him still his thrusts and pulse inside of me, thick spurts of addiction painting me in his scent.

"Edward..." I cried.

Floating.

Falling.

He filled me with life.

Everything went black.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**A/N**: Brits23 ***STANDING OVULATION AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!!***Have you read this woman's writing? Well, go on over and say hello. She has cookies!

Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/

Special love to: My Trinity Goddesses: Brits, Tori and Rose You sing the praises that make the whole world Snarl!

Please visit my profile for the link to the Twilight Forums for Breaking Trinity! Come and visit, we give hugs!

Thank you, each and every beautiful person who has shared the love. I reply to every review you send me and I certainly try to show my return of pure devotion there. There are too many of you to name…but you know who you are…oh yes…you do.

***SPECIAL***

Edward: *clears throat* Ahem, Melissa…I believe you have an apology to make. I know it will be a first, but please, do share with the rest of the class.

Me: Normally, Edward, I would strangle you. But you are right. During the mad dash to create our Q and A prep, last update…I left a very important question for Edward out of the fray. I would like to apologize to _**BlueDiamond**_ formally. Edward, would you mind answering one more question?

Edward: For _**BlueDiamond**_, how could I resist. *waggles brow*

Me: *clears throat* _**BlueDiamond **_would like to know, since you make some very colorful, primal noises…do you also…purr?

Edward: That's a hot fucking question. *licks his lips* Let me say this…I have been known…purr…but that's something that comes from the heart. So, be on the look out for it. And thank you, _**Blue**_ for giving me the chance to answer your question.

Me: *impressed at Chivalryward*

Edward: 'cause, Melissa here is a fucking noob.

Me: *kicks Edward in the shin* and…back to dickward, in less than 2 seconds.

Edward: Fuck! God damn that sucks! *rubbing shin vigorously*

Me: *smiles happily* Watch it Cullen or I'm giving Emmett another hockey stick and letting him have at it with you.

Edward: *bites his lip, shaking his fist angrily*

Thank you all once again for staying with us. Now, please see the REC fics list I am currently devouring!

**Author Recs: SINK YOUR TEETH IN!!**

_**Elemental by Tallulahbelle**_: I am a little late in the game on this one, I know. But if your looking for an incredible fiction, with a beautiful elemental-respecting twist this one has me glued to my seat. I am seriously hawking daily for an update and not trusting my story alert function. Please update soon! http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5241793/1/

_**The University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud**_: So, I am drooling over here. I do so love a hot, haughty Professor Edward. This is intelligent with a sensual quality that absolutely draws you in. What I love about SR's style is how he makes the ideal of Dante so compelling--a medieval work this glorious driven by the sheer force of SINWARD (as we have nicknamed on the Twilighted thread). I'm worrying my lip for another chapter!

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5390119/1/

_**Raising the Stakes by Adverb**_: So, what's hotter than Vegas, gambling and Casinos? That gorgeous guy with the Topaz eyes, following you from table to table. Get in on the ground floor with this fic and swoon for updates. You will be glad you did!

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5392442/1/Raising_the_Stakes

And Last but NOT least, a truly favorite author of mine. A double shot for your pleasure:

_**No Longer Alone by EliseShaw**_. Carlisle and Esme. In tremendous detail. The human life and changing of our Esme. This fiction is exquisitely written, showing such passionate detail and intense dialogue. The relationship Esme and Edward build grows and strengthens to what we know it as today…Carlisle and Esme overcome societal propriety to finally love and lust. I crave this woman's writing. I swear it.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4734302/1/

_**Coming of Age by EliseShaw**_, We have watched the family grow…and change and now we come into the later years. The happiness, the settling in and Edwards rebellion and craving for the human blood of evil doers. Gawd, this is so perfectly crafted you feel the strain on the family we saw burgeoning in No Longer Alone. EliseShaw is pure art in type.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4797944/1/


	11. Little Fugue

Disclaimer: Not mine. Stephanie Meyer created/owns Twilight, characters and setting pertaining to Twilight. I do not derive financial gain from this work.

Disclaimer2: I do not derive financial gain from this work. On that note, Breaking Trinity is Copyright ©2009 and intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV©2009 . No unauthorized or illegal reproduction of this story is permitted under Federal Copyright Law. Copyright infringement, plagiarism (in whole or part), unauthorized translation, reproduction or otherwise unethical publication without the express written consent of the author, notarized before municipal representatives is expressly forbidden.

Disclaimer: Not Mine

Chapter Ten: Little Fugue

*

EPOV

Bella came hard. And passed out.

I turned her and pressed her body into mine.

My fingers slid along her neck, her hair, her face. She was unguarded and slept in beauty, like the night. Or some shit like that.

I felt my dick soften and it fell out of her. I groaned at the loss of her heat around me, but the scent of us this way made me want to growl. Fuck, my throat hurt.

Panting. Gasping. Growling.

Snarling.

Fuck, the sounds she had invoked in me. God damn Tantric. I had a few books on that somewhere, stashed in my room.

I pressed my nose against hers and chuckled. Even that hurt. My voice was going to be gravel for days.

I pulled her into me tighter and skimmed my lips against hers. She was breathing perfectly fine. I'd never actually been witness to it before but it was an ego boost to think I fucked her so hard I rendered her unconscious.

In the frenzy between mind and body, I discovered her G-spot. I called it her E-spot. Same fucking thing. Every time the head of my cock passed over that flat, smooth place inside of her pussy, she went frantic.

I clutched her hard at the memory. God damn, this she-devil was going to destroy me.

Bella started to stir, her little hands so soft and gentle as they splayed along my shoulders.

I looked at her, hard. I envied her total relaxation.

What the fuck was I going to do? No, not this moment. It was too perfect to run away from. I meant in general. Fucking Tanya, my God damn family. Bella.

I knew the right answer. I had to come clean and break it off with Tanya. I owed her that much. Hell, truth be told, I owed her a helluva lot more.

Carlisle and Esme were going to rip me a new asshole for this. Her family and my family were thick as God damn thieves. We had history, loyalties and all of that old world shit that made me shake my head at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"_Think very seriously about what you are doing, Edward." Carlisle sat before me, his fingers tented around his mouth as he spoke. I hated having these Father-son conversations under these conditions. Felt like fucking interrogation._

"_I know what I'm doing," I bellowed. My previous judgment wasn't really a testament to my words. Carlisle often reminded me that a man's word was his bond, it meant as much as the name he carried himself under. _Fuck Tradition.

"_We have heard that before." His tone was soft but the meaning behind them a complete contrast._

_I stayed silent and clenched my fingers into fists. So, I had fucked up. One little drink over the line. One car accident that wrapped my parents 'borrowed' sedan around a tree. Tanya was in the hospital for a week, recovering. Emmett wasn't the only reason we left Seattle. _

_Tanya had been with staying with her sister Carmen for the first few days and then, it was arranged she would crash with us on this last-minute visit. Carlisle insisted she stay here. After the death of her parents, it felt like her being _here _was more for _their _benefit than hers. _

_"Be cordial and welcoming, Edward," Carlisle had charged me with this. I had to oblige._

_So, I took Tanya out to a party. The cheap, popular variety kind of event. Some parents-out-of-town, bullshit. I swore it was alright to take my parents' car, all stealthy and covert as we snuck into the garage._

_I found the party. We drank. She asked me if I was alright to drive home. Of course, I said yes._

"_You have to appreciate my situation, Edward. After her parents passing, your mother and I were entrusted to invest in Tanya's estates, to care for her needs and the needs of her surviving family. We are her God-parents." _

_I had known Tanya pretty much all of my life. Our family had been tied to the hip. Now, only Irina and Katrina, Tanya's oldest sisters stayed in Alaska at the family Estate. Carmen was already here in the continental U.S, a graduate of Washington State with a live in boyfriend, Eleazar._

_My father rarely showed a lack of control in his temper, but it was breaking now. "Tanya and her family are still handling the loss. It was her parents will that should anything happen, our home would be open to their blood-kith." Carlisle exhaled heavily. _

_Tanya had chosen to come and stay with us. A comfort zone, a link in the chain that bound families together. "But that will now become an impossibility, considering the situation." _

"_She can _still_ stay here." I hadn't known he would revoke that plan. One little sex-capade in my bedroom and a doctor responding to a late-call at the hospital. He could have been deaf and still heard the screams of pleasure I wrung from her mouth. _

We were so fucked.

"_If you are dating her, officially or otherwise, to allow her to remain here would be a disservice considering," He didn't have to remind me. Nothing ruins an orgasm like your father walking in. _

"_I didn't want to do this, but I have made arrangements for Tanya to stay with her sister Carmen, in Port Angeles. I hope it will not be a strain on Carmen's relationship with Eleazar." Carlisle exhaled softly and flipped open the financial ledger on his desk._

_I nodded. Powerless. Guilt-ridden. What could I do?_

"_You are putting a very thick strain the relationships of two families. The both of you. If this ends badly…" Carlisle warned._

"_It won't." And that was my last word on the matter._

I started to pull back, loosening my hold on Bella, inhaling the perfume of our fuck like a starving man at a buffet. She whimpered with the loss of contact and I watched her eyes roll restless behind her lids.

Fuck. I couldn't stop myself.

I dragged her against me and those pink-petal soft lips parted for a moan. Dark, heavy lashes flickered and chocolate brown was waking up and looking deep into my eyes.

"Your still here." She was shocked and smiling, pressing our bodies together as I leaned over her.

"Yeah, I'm still here." I was a fucking cad for leaving her last time, in Port Angeles. I was freaked.

"What happened?" Bella arched into me, her spine shivering with a stretch. Fuck, I was twitching against her smooth stomach.

"You passed out. And you're fucking welcome." I almost purred in contentment, that cocky smile plastered over my lips. I leaned over her shoulder, running my tongue against her freshest mark all the way up to her ear.

Bella exhaled sharply and blushed. That's right, this stealthy-cat-girl with the golden pussy actually _blushed_.

I twitched, inhaled and twitched again. I was rock hard before I could nip that little patch of smooth flesh behind her ear.

I had to distract myself.

"Why are you in Forks, Bella?" My tongue could not stop tasting the sweet skin behind her ear.

"I, um, my mom remarried," Her breath hitched and I felt her gasp at the heat of my cock twitching against her stomach. Her hand left my shoulder and that glorious goddess started fucking _petting _it.

"Remarried?" I huffed, pressing my body against her.

"Yeah, minor league baseball player. Lots of travel and I was in her way." She cleared her throat. Bella pressed her fingertips against the heavy vein that ran the underside of my dick. I was fucking leaking, again.

"What aren't you telling me, Bella?" I flicked the tip of my tongue against the rim of her ear. She whimpered and coned her fingers around me. Yeah, she was omitting something. I have a fucking sixth sense and a twin-sister. The unspoken language of woman is my fucking hell.

"N-Nothing," she moaned, tilting her head into the pillow and offering me her neck as I teased her ear. Fuck, she stroked me harder.

"Bullshit," my fingers were in her hair, twisting hard. _Fuck, _I had to have her again. My lips hovered over her newest mark, passing hot breath all over the torn skin. I wanted to taste her blood again, like a fucking fetish.

I was seriously out of control.

"Th-there was a guy," she whimpered.

I froze.

_Of course, there was a guy_. Just like that first night I saw her in Port Angeles, looking like she wanted to smash-dick instead of fuck-dick.

"What was his name?" I hissed. I fucking hated myself. I felt jealousy course through me. Here she was, bearing her neck to me and rubbing my twitching dick with that smooth little hand. The fucking scent of her ripped me open and she was silently asking to feel me again.

I couldn't. I hesitated.

Consumed, irrational.

_Destroy me, Bella. Go ahead. Don't forget to fucking penetrate the bullet holes in my chest when one blowing me away. _

"No," she whispered softly, her warm, firm thigh sliding over my hip. Her eyes were closed, the enamel of her teeth pressing into her already tender lip. Fuck, she was too beautiful. And hurting. I felt myself clenching my hands on her shoulders, somewhere between possessive and jealous.

"Look at me." I licked my lips slowly, feeling that gnawing desperation lap like flame-fingers in my gut.

Chocolate eyes flickered up and her lip curled slowly.

"Fuck," I hissed. She passed the head of my leaking dick right against her pussy. To the fucking entrance.

"I want you--inside," Bella moaned, her pink tongue inching out to taste my mouth. My slick muscle met her there.

_Shit. _Bella arched her hips, passing my tip right into her dripping hot cunt. My brain shut down. There was nothing but her, that scent, and those eyes begging me for one more time.

I rolled over her body, crushing her underneath me like an animal with its kill.

Fuck. I was _in_ her.

Tight, hot, glory. Squeezing all the fuck around me.

Bella twisted her hands in my hair and I thrust hard and deep, lifting my body on my arms. Her ankles crossed at my back.

_Fuck, I was home._

**

BPOV

_Take it all away from me, Edward. _

The pain, the memory, the wishful-thinking-wrist-slashing agony of the past month of my life. Why the hell did he bring it up? Why did he make me think of…

_That's the spot…the E-Spot…_

I arched into him, my back curling as I gripped onto him and choked back a soundless scream. His hips pounded me into the bed, that thick beautiful cock making me gasp and pant and hiss like a demon.

Oh God, I was so sore.

He was stretching me wide, making me take him as hard as he gave it.

"Edward!" I cried out, gnarling his wild bronze hair, it was tangled velvet between my fingers. My ankles tightened around his back. My bed sounded like it was going to break.

"Fuck, Bella." His breath was as desperate as mine. I needed this. Oh, sweet God in heaven, every thrust was a shot of addiction. I craved him.

"More, please--I'm begging!" I pressed my lips against his neck, licking and nipping on his skin. _Sun. Sand. Our sex._ I was going to tumble fast off the edge…

"…never enough…" I heard him gasp. In a flash of pure power, his hands gripped my hips and rolled us over.

I nearly fell backwards from the sharp, rock-hard intensity of him. My skin shivered and pimpled as my knees rested, straddled on either side of him.

Edward's shoulders curled up toward me, one hand grasping my shoulder, the other rubbing hot and fast where we were joined.

I felt his thumb brush my clit and I bounced hard onto him, instinct taking over a rhythm to match how hard he thrust inside of me. Oh, God, he was so thick like this…

I reached my hand back and took his, twining our fingers. My head was shaking side to side, violently. His fingers playing at my choking-full pussy lips…that hot pressure on my clit. Every nerve was exploding.

"Fucking ride my dick," Edward snarled, his eyes rolling back. He writhed beneath me. I cried out, my back arching wildly as I took him in, all of him, until I felt his tight sac rubbing my sore nether-lips with every movement.

"Edward," I gasped. His fingers clamped down in mine, pulling me down to him as my walls tightened and bounced and screamed all around him.

I was there, I couldn't stop…oh God, I was….

"Cum--right God damn now! Fuck, Bella!"

I was over the cliff, ripped to pieces on the jagged rocks…making sounds and hisses and whimpers only he could bring out of me. I touched the face of heaven, peace and contentment and perfection all around me.

I swear, I left my body.

Hot threads of lava pushed through me and I gasped when I felt him cum, thrashing beneath me and flooding me like a volcano.

My mouth was on his, basking in his uneven breath and bereft of anything but the feel of my body drinking him. His fingers slid up from my exhausted sex and I blushed when I saw him put them under his nose before they disappeared into his mouth.

"Edward, that was…" I barely managed, rocking slowly against him in aftershocks. I heard him gasp and the hot puncture of the seal of his suck broken on those fingers.

"…exactly what we needed."

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against his, desperate to catch my breath. I could smell my sex all over his mouth.

I let myself do it.

I actually smiled.

*

EPOV

This part never used to bother me.

_The get-away._

Once upon a time, I could get dressed and haul-ass out of a seamy location. I could move fast enough to threaten to set the land-speed record. I was never into the awkward moments that came after coital bliss. I didn't have a stomach for that _needy_ shit.

_Will you call me? Am I your girlfriend now? Why don't you want to stay, I thought we had something?_

Yeah, I had something with those girls--for about an hour. Then I wanted out before they tried to get their claws into my skin and nail me down with 2.5 kids and a fucking white-picket fence.

I was never going to be their fucking prom date, or the guy they brought home to dinner with mommy and daddy.

I tried to be real careful about recycle-fucks too. You know, the kind where you're at a party and drinking hard enough that you aren't sure if you have seen that "O" face before? Fuck a girl more than once and she swears you're going to pick them out an engagement ring.

Tanya had changed all that, once upon a time. I sat at her bedside for a week straight. I caused the accident that made her cling to life. Her face was all scarred up and bandaged and tubes hung out of her mouth to help her breathe. I swore I would make it right _if _she woke up from that coma.

It took four days. And I kept my word. Minus the drinking. But I knew better than to drive and imbibe now.

There was a lot of thinking to do. By now, I had paid my debts plus interest. Of course, my family would most likely _not_ feel the same.

I gathered my shirt and sweater on my way down the stairs, sliding it over my body and running a hand through my even wilder hair. My scalp was on fire from all of Bella's heavenly tugging. This girl knew how to fucking turn me on so hard, I felt like I would never shut off.

I met her in the kitchen, where the afternoon had started. If I didn't have to be to work in twenty-minutes, I might have stayed quiet up in her bedroom and waited for her to return. The fact that I even thought that, made me exhale sharply.

_Deep breaths, Cullen._

I pulled my jacket on and Bella turned to look at me, she was still shaking.

_There it was again._

Bella smiled.

So did I--and then I covered over the action by rubbing my forehead with my fingers.

Fuck, it felt like a thousand years since the last time I touched her, my body was aching at the loss and she was only five-feet away from me. Such an intense couple of hours spent over her, under her, on my knees before her. The more I felt her, the more I needed her.

_Addiction._

I still didn't like the idea of some other guy having been able to touch her. Not that I had room to talk. I had _a lot _of thinking to do in the next few hours. I wanted to confront my parents. And Alice and Emmett.

Maybe Alice first. I kinda owed that to her. Either way, I wanted to set the record straight.

Bella reached into her book bag and drew up her phone. Her eyes lit up as she flipped the outdated model to life. "I missed a call from Jess…"

Jessica Stanley. Fucking pit-viper.

"Don't' fucking tell her about us," I said sternly.

Jessica was Laurent's cousin. And Laurent happened to also be Tanya's best friend, tied at the God damn hip. Fucking Port Angeles crew. Same damn faces running in outdated semi-circles. Except Rosalie Hale. That nasty bitch hated everybody. Of course, Forks wasn't much better when it came to tired baggage.

I watched Bella's face fall, those smiling lips quivered into a frown. I felt a stab go through my chest. "What we choose to do is _private_. It's nobody's fucking business, including big-mouth Stanley."

Yeah, I heard that _big-mouth _was impressive enough to put Debbie Does Dallas to a test. Some girls had no gag reflex or an ounce of shame.

I ran my hand along the back of my neck, rubbing agitatedly. When my gaze flickered toward Bella, my heart stuttered and threatened to stop.

I read it all over her eyes. _You don't want anyone to know about me._

I was such a shit-heel. The gravity of it hit me when I looked into those big baby browns.

"Alright." Her voice dropped an octave. My conscience ate at my brain while Bella set the phone back in her bag.

"Bella, don't fucking be like that." I had already broken my own God damn rules about a recycle-fuck. Truth be told, she didn't feel that way to me. It was more.

_I am so fucked. _

"I gotta go to work," I sighed. "Come here."

I held one hand out and she looked at me hesitantly. You know that look, like a kitten that doesn't know why the fucking food dish was moved. She kept her eyes down and closed the distance between us.

My fingers tilted her chin up and I pulled her against me with my other hand at the small of her back. "Don't look into shit, Bella. Sometimes things are just what they are, you understand?"

Pain flashed over her eyes again. Fuck, I was only making it worse.

"I don't want anything out of you, Cullen." Her tone was defensive. Since when did she call me Cullen? Well, I mean she only learned who I was today but she had sure-as-fuck screamed it enough to stay on a first name basis. "Just don't screw with my head, alright?"

"Loud and clear, Swan. Loud. And. Clear." Yeah, my walls were up to. I could have defended against an angry militia with a battering ram and not felt a thing.

I pressed my lips to her forehead and dropped my hold on her. I took one last, long draught of our scent, still lingering between us. Without another word, I turned and closed the door behind me as I made my way back to my car.

The next four hours at work were going to be pure fucking hell.

**

BPOV

_Don't' fucking tell her about us. _

I bit the edge of my nail, my eyes on the closed door. Their was a complete lack of sound in the whole damn house. Eerily quiet.

_Sometimes things are just what they are, you understand?_

I was somewhere between angry, defensive and ready to scream. A little hurt too. I wasn't really cut out for a one-night stand.

_Technically, this isn't a one night stand. It's a repeat performance._

"Unbelievable," I shouted with a mixture of anger and frustration into the silence of the house. The refrigerator kicked on and for a second I looked to the door, thinking it was Edward walking back in to exclaim apology.

_Oh, that's about enough of that kind of thinking._ I chastised myself and walked over to the door, turning the lock with a resounding click. It didn't make me feel any better.

I grabbed my bag off the counter and stormed up toward my room. I was gritting my teeth along the way, closing the door behind me in a huff.

There it was.

The scent of _him_ was all around me. From the messed sheets, tangled during our hedonistic display of pleasure…to the wood flooring where he had knelt and dragged my hips to the end of the bed. Edward had marked my room as well as my skin.

_Sun. Sand. Leather._

_And--Us. _

_Our scent mingled together, still making desperate love on the staunch air of the room. We were joined…here…where something reminded me of fruit-flavored-honey, ripe and warm under the sun. _

The ache I felt, started in my chest. It ended in the tingling of my toes. _All consuming_.

I threw my bag on the bed and glared at it for a full minute as the motion released more of him. I felt my face start to soften. _I wanted Edward_. Here, in my room, waiting for me and naked on my sheets.

My body might have been sore but the longing was deeper than superficial skin. I felt like I was being tortured. His absence of the past ten-minutes meant so much--so fast. I would grow immune to the phantom of his scent--our scent--lingering here. But, I wasn't so sure my body was going to make it through that transition.

I was still shaking.

_Aren't you supposed to be angry? Indignant? The least bit offended?_

Yes, I know I _should_ be. No, scratch that. I _need _to be. God damn it, get a grip Bella!

_Did you want him to keep you a dirty little secret?_

_That_ should matter, right? Edward wanting me to avoid telling my best friend about us. Red flags were still going up in my brain. He did have a point. Whose business was it anyway? It was private.

_His idea of private is not the same kind, Bella._

Shit, _I know_. There is something so wrong with me. Faced with these moral questions posed by my own self-preserving self-conscience, why did I want to hold my ears and start humming so loud I couldn't listen?

I stared at the bed and worried my lower lip, wincing as my teeth connected with tender flesh. Another reminder of this afternoon.

Edward's lust…hurt.

My hand went reflexively to my new mark. A throbbing bite mark that must have been angry purple-red.

I gasped when I touched it, lightly padding four fingers against the shorn shin. I felt my sex tingle. My breath came out a little harder.

It hurt--and I liked it.

_This isn't healthy!_

I felt connected to Edward. Drawn to him. It transcended the body. Bones and flesh and muscle were merely the only place we _had _to become _one_ person.

His cock deep inside of me as my feminine core took him in and gripped him. The body was the gate. A fleshy portal that took our separateness and made us whole. One.

What was the key?

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging softly.

"Bells, I'm home! Hey kiddo, you alive?"

I nearly leapt out of my skin. Charlie was at the top of the landing, lingering somewhere beyond my closed door. How long had he been calling for me?

I darted my eyes to the red digital display on the clock near the bed. Five-o-five, the Chief of Police was home early.

"Dad, I'm in my room," I gulped back a breath, blinking my eyes so rapidly they started to tear. I must have been staring--hard.

Charlie's work boots rebounded on the wooden floor. I turned around but he stopped just outside of my door. "Everything okay in there, Bells?"

I knew that tone of voice. He knew something wasn't right and his instincts told him to investigate.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm just changing. Diner tonight, right?" I tried to mask the sudden panic in my voice. Would he walk in? Would he recognize the lingering scent of sex in the air?

If Charlie was contemplating reaching for the door and yanking it open, he thought better of it now. Nothing put off a single father of a teenage daughter from barging into a room like the thought of catching her innocently changing.

"Yeah, Bells." He exhaled sharp enough for me to hear. He was probably rubbing the back of his neck with relief. "I was outside honking for a solid minute and I must have called you from downstairs a half-dozen times…."

"Sorry, Dad," I countered quickly. "I was looking for my boots. It's a little cold out there for late march and I didn't want my feet to freeze." _Shit_, was that really the best I could come up with?

I was starting to panic. And I knew only half of it had to do with Charlie breathing down the door that stood between us.

"Alright, well how long do you need? Car's still running," came his husky voice, rife with exasperation.

"Less than five-minutes. I'll be right down." I pressed my hand against my chest to hold down the sound of my wild-beating heart. I had to change clothes; I couldn't go out like this, without any…

_Edward has my panties!_

"Alright, I'll meet you in the car. And don't complain, we're taking the cruiser," he chuckled and started to walk away. He was muttering loud enough under his breath that I could hear him as his boots hit the stairs.

My face was flushed hot and burning red. I worried my lip again and winced at the bite tender skin. Shit. Edward had my white-shimmery faux silk panties.

I rolled my eyes and lunged toward my dresser. I yanked out a fresh pair of cotton thigh-high cut. I hated to admit it, but sore as I was, I kinda wanted comfort. Not that I was some crazy matching-panty-and-bra set-type. I had learned the value of Victoria Secret when I was in Phoenix. James really seemed to like that sort of….

James.

I froze, mid-toss of my jeans as I wrenched them from my body victoriously and stood bottom-naked in my room. The very room that still smelled like Edward and sex and _us_.

"_What was his name?" _

I whimpered softly, remembering Edward's question.

No! I didn't have time for this. If I could just get through dinner, I would have plenty of time to analyze and replay every word, breath, snarl…and the mention of James….

Then, I could fall apart in peace and lick my wounds like a good masochist.

I groaned as I spread my legs to slide one foot onto the leg hole of my comfy-panties. Fuck, I was _really_ sore. I ignored the shiver that slid down my spine with a quasi-aftershock. It was like Edward was still inside of me when I moved that way.

I missed him. Despite everything, including myself. Even with the red flags of war that I _should be _waging--I _craved_.

These were very dangerous realizations for me to make.

_Red flags._

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.**A/N**: Brits23 My amazing Beta and total sistah-soul mate! Pounce her!

Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/

Special love to: My Trinity Goddesses and the "Covenant of the Snarl", I love you guys. You keep me motivated, inspired and looking forward to shaking the foundations of the world I have created.

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	12. Mangle Your Mind

Disclaimer: Not mine. Stephanie Meyer created/owns Twilight, characters and setting pertaining to Twilight. I do not derive financial gain from this work.

Disclaimer2: I do not derive financial gain from this work. On that note, Breaking Trinity is Copyright ©2009 and intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV©2009 . No unauthorized or illegal reproduction of this story is permitted under Federal Copyright Law. Copyright infringement, plagiarism (in whole or part), unauthorized translation, reproduction or otherwise unethical publication without the express written consent of the author, notarized before municipal representatives is expressly forbidden.

Chapter Eleven: Mangle Your Mind

**

EPOV

_Bella_.

Fuck, the way I left her had me feeling like a jack-ass. The _second_ I was in my car, I wanted to toss my keys onto the street and run back to her. I very suddenly hated being away from her. It actually hurt, physically. In my gut and in my throat.

_What the fuck was going on with me?_

I mean really, I am not hard-up-for-ass.

I closed my eyes and took a steely breath. Chocolate gazes and dark brown hair, fanned all around me.

God damn, this afternoon was _hot_. _Needing, wanting, primal fucking hot_.

When I closed my eyes I could still smell her. _Tangerine, honey, wet-wildflowers._

My dick was hard in seconds.

I had no idea what was happening to me, to her, to us. But this _craving_, this _ache_ that built in the pit of my stomach made me feel almost nauseous without her--I had only been way from her for two hours!

_Pull it in, Cullen, you need a distraction._

I shifted uncomfortably behind my desk, moving my aching dick with my palm in a fast motion. I was waiting at my laptop, fucking impatient for the latest overseas numbers to arrive. The brilliant thing about real-time, single person internet trading was the nearly instant returns. I could put small amounts of cash into trade from the European Equities Markets and get a near global scale reference with +5hr time difference.

My personal account had amassed a small fortune this way and Mr. Scott's clientele felt like they had some insider knowledge when their bankrolls soared.

It was a numbers game. Everything was a base of quotient and risk.

I was still feeling anxious. I flipped on to Roosterteeth(dot)com and brought up the very first episode of Red vs. Blue to fill in the background noise. I half snorted a laugh at Grif and his answer to the question, "why are we here? " By the way, Grif is the mother-fucking man.

Shit, I could watch this show for hours.

My phone started vibrating and I grabbed it, mid-chuckle. A text from Alice.

_I took a nap. We need to talk when you get home. I'll be in your bedroom waiting. ._

Great, a scowling-face at the end of her message. She had another dream. Alice had been having a lot of those lately. The unusual part was how I often starred in most of them. Why couldn't she do something useful like predict lotto numbers or some hocus-pocus like that? My twin was a damn side-show freak.

_Will be done at 9--need to talk to you too._

It was true. I did. It was time to set the record straight. I owed my first explanation to my twin.

I no sooner sent the reply message and my laptop-email chimed.

The stock I put my _own _money in took a hit. I shrugged and closed the alert-message. I had no desire to change my trades. It would rebound. I was a fucking savant.

I tuned back to my beloved and distracting Red vs. Blue, snickering to myself at Church and Tucker. The Warthog vs. Puma. _Chuppathingy_. God damn, I was almost in stitches.

I fucking needed that.

But I still ached. Craved. _Wanted._

Mr. Scott shook his head, completely used to my blatant disregard for quiet-work-time. The background voice of Sarge from RvB filled the space and I could hear Boss-man snicker under his breath. _This Shit was funny_. It reminded me of Emmett. Xbox wars on Halo. Smack-talking insults between brothers.

"The Nikkei is down, did you take a hit?" Mr. Scott spoke through his chuckle, desperate to hide the hilarity of episode 1, The Blood Gulch Chronicles. You didn't have to be a gamer to understand great humor.

"Yeah, but I'm not moving my stock. It will ricochet when the U.S. markets open." I snickered, casting a side long glance at my laptop screen.

"You have a gift, Edward," Mr. Scott smiled, leaning back in his chair. "Between Carlisle and I, we could recommend you into any University you chose."

"I'd rather do it on my own merits, but thank you." I replied tersely and my screen flickered to the next brilliant episode of Red Vs. Blue.

I appreciated the gesture from Mr. Scott but frankly, I wanted to use my own guile and grades to get into a top notch-white-collar University. I didn't want any help from the vast connections my father or Mr.-Harvard-Lawyer could throw my way.

I was almost thankful when my cell phone vibrated. Until the name displayed on my caller I.D.

It was Tanya.

Casually, I hit pause on episode two of Red vs. Blue and cleared my throat. "Excuse me, I have to take this call."

Mr. Scott nodded his head and I grabbed my cell, walking out into the hallway and down the stairs of the third floor in my esteemed employer's house.

I managed to grab the call on the last ring. "What's up?" I probably could have sounded more cordial. Truth was, I still had Bella on the brain. On the skin. And all over my dick. Fuck, she came _hard_.

I bit back my groan and clenched my teeth.

"Edward, I sent you like a dozen text messages between classes," she chastised. Tanya wasn't stupid. She had to know something was up when I didn't respond. Truth be told, I hadn't even bothered looking at them.

"Been kinda busy." I kept it short and sweet with my Crackberry cradled between my shoulder and ear.

"I'm at Laurent's, want to say hi?" She giggled. She was drinking. And probably on Xanax.

"Not really," I sighed. "What did you want, exactly?"

"Do I need a reason to call my boyfriend and say hello? Shit, Edward you're like a fucking totally different person since I came back from Daytona Beach!"

I could hear Laurent in the background, goading her on. '_That's your fault Tanya, you put-out too easy._'

Fuck you. Both.

"You and I need to sit down and have a little chat, Tanya," I grumbled, pinching the bridge of my nose. I inhaled the scent of dried sex from my skin. Yes, this was what I wanted. Bella would never have to know and we could go on like nothing threatened to interrupt us.

Wow, I had it bad. The Chief's daughter owned me, hardcore and porn-style. Lock, stock and fucking barrel.

"I love you." She said, desperately. Tanya must have heard that uneven tone in my voice.

"You know Edward, I still remember how sweet it was to see your red, tired, tear-stained eyes when I woke up in the hospital, after the accident. I swear I could hear you, even in the dark of my own mind." Tanya pouted into the phone when I didn't return her declaration of love. "You know, every time I look in the mirror and try to cover-up my scars with make-up, I smile. The only good thing that came out of that accident…was ending up with you."

She was playing the guilt card. She knew it _never_ lost its effect on me no matter _how much _she used it. Even with nearly two years and incessant inferences later.

I could still see myself at her bedside, my head bowed in prayers to any God, Goddess or Universal Entity that would listen. When Tanya opened her pale blue eyes from her coma, I thought I had been wakeful-dreaming. I was so relieved. She was shattered and nearly lost to the land of the living.

Because of me.

In giving Tanya my foresworn oath of fealty, I exchanged her life for my death. Yeah, it was fun at first. But after a few months, I became her beck-and-call-boy.

I _stayed _because I _promised,_ and the sex was decent. I stayed because, in no uncertain terms, Carlisle had called me on the carpet to make good on my words, redemption, and my understanding of the intricacies involved in my momentary lapse of reason and sobriety.

_Fuck Trinities_. It was the story of my God damn life. Two was company, three--a crowd.

"Edward?" Tanya was shivering on the other side of the line.

"I'm at work. And we still need to talk." I felt like an asshole. But for once, I was going to do what was right, other-parties-be-damned.

"If this is about the other night--I just don't like it rough but I could learn." I heard the desperation in her voice and I cringed.

"I really have to go before I get fired," I sighed. I would _never_ be fired but I had passed the moment when words were dust.

"I understand," Tanya gulped. "Call me tomorrow, okay? Please?"

"Yeah, get home safe." I wanted her to be safe. And happy. And free of me and all of my bullshit. Some guy out there would love to have this sadistic-prima-donna on her knees, showering him with affection.

No matter what, Tanya didn't deserve to be cheated on. No one did.

I slid my finger over the END button. _If only it were that simple_.

The Crackberry was returned to my pocket, brushing against something orgasmic and familiar. Smooth shimmery-white-wet panties bound in denim.

My eyes rolled back involuntarily at the moist feel against my fingertips. I turned to glance over my shoulder, drawing up my captured treasure as covertly as possible.

I took a heavy hit of Bella's scent, passing satin beneath my nose. The growl that ripped past my lips made me shake.

I was a God damn junkie.

The monster was twitching.

_Fuck, not here_. I don't want to end up jerking off in Mr. Scott's bathroom.

I stuffed the material back in my pocket and shifted my fingers into my mouth, tasting the wet I had grabbed just a split-second ago.

_Bella_.

_Mine._

*

It was Portuguese night at the Cullen household.

It was always something with this family. Esme and Carlisle insisted on proper breeding.

A few years ago my parents had insisted we all learn new languages. Mondays, it was Portuguese. Wednesdays, Italian. Fridays, French. Emmett, Alice and I had all taken Spanish through three-years of High School.

In grade school it was music. I plunked away on the piano, Alice in violin and Emmett was taking standing bass. I can't even front, I loved playing our old, well tuned Steinway. Though at six years old, you could say I refused to acknowledge the joy it would someday bring me.

During our middle school years, it had been dance lessons. I was the only twelve-year-old boy who could execute a perfect waltz. Ballroom was more my style. Alice ended up taking ballet. Emmett, gymnastics.

If you ask me that wasn't even remotely fucking fair. I was forced to swing my mother or my sister around on hardwood floors while Emmett got to be death defying and work the horse, rings and the uneven parallel bars. That mother-fucker had the upper body for it.

We took turns every other weekend doing community service.

The first Saturday of the month Alice, Emmett and I took rounds with Carlisle and buddied up with the sick, indigent and old. We ran recreational activities and one-on-one support. The third Saturday was devoted to soup-kitchen volunteering.

I added a third Saturday to my already hectic schedule by helping Mr. Basttion. I set appointments for his pro-bono counseling sessions. I sat in on group therapy and learned about counseling dynamics and patient chart-keeping. I did it because the man was fucking brilliant.

Mr. Basttion inspired me. The way he led a group or took his own free time to counsel someone through a crisis. God damn genius.

I wanted to be that self-sacrificing someday. But I didn't know if I would ever have it in me.

"I'm home," I announced as I came through the doors, hanging up my coat and taking off my shoes. Nothing would fly my normally placid mother into a rage like tracking in dirt on her OCD clean, restored original hard wood floors.

What greeted me was spoken in Portuguese.

"We are in the foyer and your dinner is keeping warm in the oven. Eat and tell us about your day," Esme chimed.

I drew up the stairs with my head down. I just wanted to get to my room and jerk off with these still-wet panties in my pocket.

"Welcome home, Edward," Alice chimed, but I knew that look in her eyes. Pure intensity.

Fuck, I forgot about Alice and our necessary little chat. I was too Bella-absorbed.

My balls were going to be blue, if I didn't shoot one out soon. It didn't matter how much I released inside of Bella…I wanted more. Needed more. I fucking craved her beneath me until my dick spat dust.

Emmett and Carlisle were engaged in some deep discussion about the origin and necessity of the appendix as I passed into the kitchen via the main dining room.

"The only animals that use it are grazing animals. That's God damn proof of evolution." Emmett spoke Portuguese like hasty car salesman. "It's completely unnecessary. The only fucking function for that organ is to get infected and kill people."

Carlisle laughed as I set myself down at the table. A glass of ice and an unopened Snapple was waiting for me. Fucking love Snapple. Made from the best stuff on earth.

Next to Bella.

I dug in to the Feijoada with a side of white rice and sausage. It was a meat stew of epic fucking proportions and my mom was a God-damn cultural Martha Stewart.

When it came to language night--it was also eat-the-cultural-dish-night. Fuck, I wanted to be back on my knees eating and licking and sucking the most perfect pink meat around.

I was still hard from my panty sniff. I couldn't wait to get Alice out of my room, take a shower and lay those still-damp panties down on the mattress and fuck my Bella all over again. I was aching so hard, I was going to cum like a hurricane at landfall.

Hot, leaking and spraying my debris in every direction.

I tuned out of the conversation in the main foyer and focused on eating. I was God damn starved and Esme could cook up a storm. I wolfed down every bite of the spicy good multi-meat stew and speared every last grain of rice. Exhaling sharply, I washed my dish and shut off the oven.

As I left the kitchen, I could see Esme's eyes following me. I held up my hand to show my mother I would be back to the foyer and the Cullen-Family fun time, shortly.

Alice was already gone and no doubt waiting in my room.

_Here goes nothing._

**

BPOV

The diner was quaint and quiet and typical small-town. Charlie ate his steak and potato with primitive gusto while I pecked at the Forks version of a Greek-Feta-Heavy-hold-the-sardines, salad.

At least the berry cobbler was good. I remembered it from my childhood and the summers I spent here with Charlie. At least some traditions never go out of style.

"So, how was the first day?" Charlie asked, wiping his mustache of potato with sour-cream innards.

"It was alright," I shrugged, twirling my straw in the pale brown opaque water glass sitting in front of me. "Same shit, different school."

Even though I mumbled, Charlie heard me.

"Watch your mouth, young lady," he waved his red, viscous-colored berry fork at me. I didn't know what was more amusing--that drippy utensil or calling me _young lady_.

I nodded my apology and Charlie seemed to understand the gesture as though I had spoken it aloud. We were simpatico.

"Jess show you around?" Charlie set the fork down and took a swig of steaming-hot coffee.

"Yeah she was great. I met Angela Weber and Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley." I strained to remember all of the formal names and introductions I had made during the day. "Um Eric Yorkie and Lauren Mallory. Oh and the Cullens too."

Charlie nodded appreciatively. He preferred details, it meant less investigative work. "Good families, good kids. Never had much of a run in with any of them."

I nodded and picked at the last of my cobbler. I feigned disinterest. "So, what do you know about the Cullens, Dad?"

Charlie set his cup down and ripped open another packet of sugar. White powder dumped into caramel colored liquid. "Respected family, really polite-good kids. Dr. Cullen is the Chief Resident at the hospital. Needless to say, we have a pretty decent working relationship."

_Edward's father is a doctor. _

"Is Dr. Cullen still married?" I took a sip of water, casting a sidelong glance at a woman in red desperately trying to get a wireless signal on her laptop. Good luck lady.

"Yes, of course," Charlie said that like anything _but that _would go against the norm. He himself was divorced. "Mrs. Cullen is a wonderful woman, cordial in that traditional sense. Her kids are always well dressed, well fed and respectfully polite. That youngest one, Edmond, I think…."

"Edward, dad." I corrected, biting back the edge of defensiveness in my voice.

"Right, Edward," Charlie snickered, leaning back in his chair and making eye contact with the waitress. "He's got a lead foot, heavy on the gas with that Volvo. I didn't think a car that was built without muscle could go so fast."

I turned beat red at his snicker. It made me angry that Charlie spoke in that parental half condescending tone.

"What's with the questions, Bells? That Cullen boy make eyes at you?" Charlie reached for his wallet.

"Dad, are we really going to talk boys? Besides, nobody 'makes eyes' anymore." I emphasized my point on his out of date lingo with an accentuated roll of my own dark gaze.

"You just did, so the old man must still have it," he sighed, picking his keys from the table. "I can still make a teenager burrow for cover even if it's my own daughter."

"Whatever," I had to laugh. Despite myself.

I gathered my things and followed Charlie to the register, then out to the cruiser. I was silent on the way home, still aching and contemplative of Edward, this afternoon and all the wrong things he had said when backed into a corner.

_Red flags. _

*

I took a shower, stripping off my clothes as soon as I got upstairs and dove right into the hot water. The stream was incredible and I only had a few minutes to savor it before the inexplicably old tank ran out of the steaming hot gift. There was no such thing as a luxury shower at Charlie's house.

I fought all night to put Edward out of my head. I was still dealing with the residual anger and confusion and aching-junkie-feeling that coursed through my veins. When my shower was done, I peeked my head out and I could hear ESPN playing downstairs on the flat-screen.

I gripped the towel right around me and darted back into my bedroom. From the moment I opened the door, all there was…

_Sun. Sand. Edwards freshly cured leather-musk._

The door closed behind me and I fell back against it, using the wizened surface for support. My towel dropped off of my body and my thighs spread themselves without my permission.

_Bella! Pull it together!_

Oh God, the things he had done to me in this room! I fought the urge to rush into my bed and cover myself over and stay naked with his lingering scent and sweat.

I stiffly walked over to my dresser, my shaking hands trying to casually remove a pair of pajamas from within.

_Focus!_

I made myself get dressed, wrapping my wet hair up on the top of my head in a lopsided bun. The restraint was killing me.

I dove onto the bed, wrapping the crinkled covers around my body like a shroud. God damn, he was everywhere. I drown myself in him, the faint undercurrent of our mingled sex still having-at-it in the staunch warm air of the room.

I fought to remember why I was angry and buried my face in the pillow, overwhelming myself with his scent.

I'll admit it, I might have licked the cheap cotton of my pillowcases. I could taste his sweat, his scent calling out to me and dragging me back silently to this afternoon.

My sore, aching body relaxed under his scent, the complete opposite affect his presence had on me. When next I opened my eyes it was almost _three_ in the morning.

The lights were still on and for a moment I was blind as I tried to gather my bearings.

I slept a full, hearty six hours!

Sweet-Mother-of-Miracles!

The worst part was how exhausted I actually was. I leaned over to shut my light when I saw my cell phone out of the corner of my eye, blinking red on the LED indicator. Shit, had my mother tried to call? I was getting so lax in returning her emails. In a twenty-four hour span I probably had fifteen of them waiting for me.

Charlie was working the night shift tomorrow so he could be home for the cable-guy during the day. Finally, high-fucking-speed internet. I was pretty sure in a place like Forks, that was worth its weight in dowry.

I stretched and snatched up the phone. 2 missed calls. 2 new messages.

I hit *86 and waited for the prompt, falling back on my bed and rubbing my eyes softly. I put in my four-digit-pin and entered '1' for new voice mail messages.

_Hi Bella! It's Jess! It's 4:15, where the hell are you? Ow, shit, I just banged my baby toe on the wall, fuck that sucks! *hissing breath* I totally wanted to get you that icy-cold lunch box thing but I guess you're not around or that ancient fucking cell phone has lost its will to live. Okay. Well, I hope you're feeling better anyway. Okay, call me back, I have to fill you in on Edward Cullen! Oh my God, what was up with that today, he totally looked like he wanted to have you for dinner. I mean that's delicious and all but…_

The message cut off. I rolled my eyes and hit the '7' to delete.

_Next new message, Monday seven-fourty-two-p.m._

_Bella, it's Jess, pick up the phone! *grumble* Still out for steak and cobbler night with Charlie, eh? Alright since you obviously aren't calling me back anytime soon… _

Melodramatic much? I started reaching for the light on my end table, pushing over a copy of Wuthering Heights, the yellowing pages scattered and opening on the floor. The poor old spine of the book actually shivered.

…_so he might like what's on the Bella menu BUT….Hot-ass Edward Cullen has a girlfriend, my cousin Laurent is totally her best friend! What a lucky bitch that Tanya is, imagine being nailed by that gorgeous…._

I dropped the phone.

Jessica's voice was still chattering away in the background….

_Don't' fucking tell her about me._

It all came together now, in one crystal clear flash.

A keening cry left my mouth, so evoked and terrible it sounded like a wounded animal.

James. Victoria.

Edward.

Tanya.

He had a girlfriend.

HE. HAD. A. GIRLFRIEND.

I drew my fist against my teeth, biting hard on the skin to fight back my scream. The house was quiet, Jessica's voice stopped. Charlie was sleeping.

Somehow the world kept spinning.

I couldn't feel my fingertips.

I was rocking on the bed, my knees to my chest…my ribcage felt like sponge-cake. I swear my throat was closing.

Wet.

Tears fell out of my eyes and onto my knuckles. The light played prisms against pale skin and I jolted out of bed with all the will I had left in me.

I ripped the sheets off of the bed. The comforter too.

I grabbed a perfume bottle from the top of my dresser, somehow. I cracked the end of it onto the wooden edge. It splintered. I walked over it. I never felt the splinters enter my skin.

I doused my bed with the entire bottle.

If I had a match I would have set it on fire.

Wordless screams stifled on skin.

I was _still _biting my hand. It was bleeding. I recognized the taste.

_If you wish to make a call, please hang up and dial the number…._

My lips formed the word around my own blood-let skin.

_Help-me._

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A/N: Blessed Be and Happy Halloween!! Be safe, Be smart and make this a snarl-tastic day!

A/N: Brits23 My amazing gift of the Gods. Without Brit, Edwards snarls would sound like kitten-mewls! Please check out her work: Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/ .

If Brits isn't on your author alerts yet, you might want to rush and do that! Something new…and wicked is working through her fingertips. SNARLWARD APPROVED!! /GAH

Special love to: My Trinity Goddesses and the "Covenant of the Snarl", The greatest "family" anyone could ask for. Rose, Tlammy, Steph, Marie, Jenelle, ALL MY TWI's (Silver, Twilrocks, Twi15) great name for a soap opera!), Gold, EM, Ice, JA, Tamis, Lor, Tina, Square. If I didn't catch a name, love me anyway cause I HEART YOU. Without you guys I might lose my Snarltastic motivation.

Join the Covenant of the Snarl! Please visit my profile for the link to the Twilight Forums for Breaking Trinity! Come and visit, we give hugs!

Next Update scheduled for Saturday, November 7, 2009.

Reviews mean the world to me. I answer every one of them as promptly as possible. Want an update sooner? Show me some love, below!


	13. The Fire I Breathe Full EPOV

"Disclaimer: Not mine. Stephanie Meyer created/owns Twilight, characters and setting pertaining to Twilight. I do not derive financial gain from this work.

Disclaimer2: I do not derive financial gain from this work. On that note, Breaking Trinity is Copyright ©2009 and intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV©2009 . No unauthorized or illegal reproduction of this story is permitted under Federal Copyright Law. Copyright infringement, plagiarism (in whole or part), unauthorized translation, reproduction or otherwise unethical publication without the express written consent of the author.

A/N1:

Important: Thank you to _**Skyblue0610**_ who pointed out a very important fact that requires correcting. Carlisle's position at Forks Hospital is: _**Chief Attending Physician **_and NOT _Chief Resident Physician._ This was a complete oversight on my part that I did not catch on re-read. Sometimes what my fingers type and my brain says can be two different things! **Thank you Skye**!

I wanted to post earlier but RL kept me away from making some much needed changes. Still love me? Read on!

* * *

Chapter Twelve: The Fire I Breathe (Full EPOV)

*

EPOV

_Bella_.

I startled from a dead sleep, shooting my head up from the pillow. Her name was on my lips and my heart was racing. What the fuck? Had I been dreaming about her?

My bleary eyes turned up to the red digital display on the alarm clock beside my bed.

3am.

I rolled onto my back, running my hand through still-damp hair. It couldn't be this early. My alarm clock must have been malfunctioning.

I glanced around my room and it was pitch black, like always. It was very easy to lose track of time in here, like a temporal void. I preferred it that way, helped me to unwind after a long day.

_Well, there's no way I'm falling back asleep now. Once I'm up, I'm up._

I rolled out of bed and stretched. My body shivered and released all the stiffness of sleep. My knee still hurt like hell. I was going to have to pay Emmett back for that shit he pulled in gym yesterday.

Flipping the light on in the bathroom, I winced and pinched the bridge of my nose in irritation. I was going to be a real fucking Prince-Charming today. I was infamous for being a bitch when I didn't get a full eight-hours.

I stopped mentally cursing the overhead light and imagining ways to smash the luminescent track lighting into a thousand splinters and took care of business. I took a piss, washed up and wandered around my room in the dark for a few minutes.

I felt restless. And I wasn't really sure why.

_Fuck it._

I went downstairs wearing just my flannel pajama bottoms. The floor was cold on bare feet and I trod lightly into the kitchen to grab myself some juice. Using the light from the open door, I reached into the cupboard and withdrew a glass, almost dropping it.

_What the fuck?_

I saw it from the corner of my eye. A figure sitting at the kitchen table, silent as a ghost. Luminescent and pale, slightly disheveled and still.

"Alice, Jesus-Christ!" I shouted, immediately lowering my voice after. No need to wake the entire house because I was an unobservant ass. "Why didn't you fucking say something? And what the hell are you doing up at this hour?"

"Bad dreams," she said softly and I resumed pouring the glass of juice. I set the container back inside the 'fridge and pulled out the milk.

"How bad?" I asked, taking a mug from the cupboard and filling it. I let the door close and padded over to the microwave, setting the mug inside. I chimed out 20 seconds and hit start. I set my orange juice at the table, across from Alice and returned to the microwave on the first beep.

I pulled out the warm milk and set it in front of my twin. I kept the room dark but I could still see the glittering wide of her eyes. Yeah, must have been a pretty fucking bad dream.

She still hadn't answered my question. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet," she took the mug and sipped it. "Thanks for the milk, it always soothes me."

"I know," I said softly and leaned my elbows on the table, hovering over my glass.

When we were little, Alice used to come to my room and wake me up when she had bad dreams. I would hold her hand and take her to the kitchen and make warm milk for her. She never wanted Mom, Dad or Emmett to think she was a 'fraidy-cat. But, I guess with Twins, it's different. We were made of the same stuff and had only occupied a cramped identical space for 9-months, right?

I wondered if all the genetic yolk that made us--gave us each a little bit of the other. If that was the case, Alice probably ended up with all of the good traits and I somehow was cursed with leftovers.

Maybe that was why she was always so fucking perky and I was usually the brooding one.

"What are you doing up so early?" Alice was still grappling with the nightmare. I could hear it in her voice.

"I guess I was having bad dreams too, I don't know though. I don't remember it." I sipped at my orange juice, tapping my teeth on the rim of the glass. That used to drive my mom crazy.

"I can tell. You're anxious and biting again. You haven't done that in a while." Her voice was even, bereft of the usual exuberance she was custom-built with.

I unclenched my teeth from the glass and shifted back in the seat. "You got me on that one."

I could see Alice more clearly now, with her leg draped up against her chest. Her slouchy white socks were only a shade more pale than her skin. You could thank our parents for the English-Irish mixture that meant we would never genetically be able to tan properly.

Not that there was enough sun in Forks, anyway.

We sat in silence for a few moments. I finally couldn't take it anymore. "We never got to talk when I came home."

"I know. You went to take a shower and by the time I got to your room you were asleep," Alice said quietly, sipping her milk. I could feel her relaxing, but only a little.

"I was kinda tired, sorry about that," I sighed.

"Tanya called here tonight," Alice said softly and I tensed hard enough to push the chair back involuntarily. "She wanted to talk to Dad."

"What was said?" Fucking great. Why the hell hadn't Carlisle approached me? I was sure as hell due for a lengthy lecture….

"Emmett answered. Said he was working at the hospital till late." I could hear the slight sense of pride in my twins' voice, even though she had always professed to like Tanya.

"I fucking love our brother," I chuckled before turning serious again. I didn't like Tanya trying to involve my father in the business that was supposed to be between us. It would serve to do nothing but strain our already careful relationship. Sometimes, I believed I was a disappointment to him. Sometimes, I _knew_ I was.

"Do you love Tanya, Edward?" Alice asked, very straight forward. Not a side of her that came out to play very often.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?" I snickered, rubbing my hand along the back of my neck. "Did I ever love her, Alice?"

"I'm the one asking you." Oh yeah, she was no-nonsense now, the rare side of her that was seldom seen. In moments like this, she really was my twin.

"I don't fucking know Alice, Jesus." I popped my neck to the side, hearing the wet crack that relieved the tension that built up and stored there. "I mean, it's all a blur. She's hot, a pretty decent fuck…"

"She's your girlfriend, Edward." The words just hung in the air, right between us. Like a kids cartoon show, waiting for me to sound them out and follow along. "Why are you cheating on her?"

_Talk about getting to the heart of the matter. _

"Yeah, Edward. Inquiring minds want to know," Emmett's voice floated into the kitchen, still speaking Portuguese. Alice and I both jumped. Like we weren't fucking amped up enough.

"Culture night at the Cullen's is over, Emmett," Alice smiled and gazed over at him as he flipped on the coffee pot, nestled on the counter. "And why are you wearing Rosalie's robe?"

Emmett used the light from the refrigerator to look down. Sure as shit, he was wearing a light blue linen robe with yellow roses embroidered down the sash.

He shrugged and smiled without missing a beat. "Well, that explains why it didn't fit right. Fuck, I'm half asleep. But it sure smells good. Just like my Rosie…and I miss the fuck out of her."

"Aww, ain't that sweet Emmy-Bear?" I snickered and he turned his crisp blue eyes to me. He was fucking blushing.

"Told you not to call me that, asshole." Yeah, that was something I overheard passing his bedroom one night. Not that I would ever think Rosalie Hale the type to say a cutsie fucking word in my life. She was the prima-ballerina of bitch.

Guess we were all different people behind a closed bedroom door.

"What are you doing up?" I could smell the coffee brewing. Damn, I did love a good cup of French roast.

"Couldn't sleep, been up for a while and trying not to listen to you idiots at this hour. When the house is quiet like this, you can hear a fucking pin drop." Emmett set out three mugs, opened the sugar and put the half-and-half on the counter.

"Must be going through the Cullen house like a plague tonight," I muttered. Alice was still watching me and sipping her cooled milk.

"So, lil brother, I think you were about to answer a question. Why _are_ you cheating on Tanya? You've been riding that bitch for what, a year and a half now? What's got you scratching your dick all of a sudden?" Emmett leaned against the counter, folding his arms. He looked fucking ridiculous in sleep pants and a too-small robe. He was lucky that linen stretched.

There was nothing like an old fashioned, double team to get you ready to stab yourself in the eye with a fork. Which was in the drawer near Emmett. I probably wasn't going to be able to get through him to make good on it.

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. They didn't know the story. No one did. It was between me and whatever-fucking-deity had answered my prayers that fateful night. "You remember my little vehicular argument with that tree and Dad's car?"

"How could we forget? Alice begged Dad not to kill you. She didn't want to be the last surviving twin." Emmett grabbed spoons out of the drawer and with the scant red light on the coffee maker we could see him motioning.

I heard Alice say a very soft, no thanks. Wow, it must have been a really fucking bad dream if she didn't want any coffee. She loved caffeine more than I did.

"Well, I mean Tanya was staying with us and shit and I didn't want to just sit around. So I took her to that party and started tossing a few back. Just about every girl at the party was trying to ride my jock." I was tugging at my hair, hating to relive these memories.

"Yeah that's cause they all thought you were fucking older than what you were, Edward. You were getting your dick wet at far too young an age." Emmett had a lovely way of putting things.

"Thanks _Dad_," I continued without a flaw and he snickered. "Well, Tanya and I started talking some heavy shit on the way home, all philosophical like. I remember her telling me that if I kept up this way, she'd be mourning me like she did her fucking parents. It kinda had me thinking. So, I listened to her going on about how we could be real good for each other, she needed someone like me and I needed someone like her."

"You were both at some real low-points in your lives," Alice said softly, nodding her head.

"Yeah. Well, I kinda liked the thought of someone needing me. Not like you guys or Mom and Dad, or the chicks that just wanted a fuck or a little notoriety as part of the Edward Cullen fan club," I sighed. I hated talking about this shit.

"So, we were driving home. Tanya asked me if I thought she was hot and shit. If I could be the kind of guy that sticks around and keeps my hands off everything else. Of course, she had her hand down my pants and started jerking me off when she asked that. So, I would have probably said yes to just about anything."

Emmett poured two cups of coffee and fixed them up, taking them by the mug handles and setting them down. He took our father's usual seat at the head of the table, so we could make a nice little fucking triangle of facing each other.

Another Trinity. This one was about as Divine as I could ever believe in.

I nodded my thanks and continued. "So, being drunk as shit and getting into that fucking hand of hers, I stopped paying attention to the road. She screamed, the tree took out the passenger side. I called 911 and the clinical shit you all know. But there's a little more to the story."

I paused to take a sip of my coffee. Emmett had a talent for a good, strong cup. "So, I didn't leave her bedside. I felt guilty as fuck and I wanted to be there when she woke up…say I was sorry for everything. Dad kept good watch over her but wasn't sure how much injury that tree had done to her brain. The Cat-scans didn't look too hot. I was fucking distraught."

"I remember," Alice said gently. Emmett nodded.

"So, I fucking prayed. Yeah, I know. Don't get all flustered or anything," I stopped, waiting for Emmett to start ripping on me or Alice to start laughing. But they didn't.

So, I exhaled sharply and continued. "I swore I would never do any stupid shit like that again, that I would fucking change my ways and learn to be a good boy, do right by my family and do right by her. I promised myself and whatever power there was above me, that I would treat Tanya differently, I'd make an honest girl out of her and not treat her like the rest."

"Oh, Edward…." I felt Alice's hand on my forearm across the table.

"A day later, she woke up," I nodded, looking into the dark cup in the dark room that now held all of my dark secrets. "And we've been together ever since. I went to see her every day in the hospital when she was rehabbing and then she finally came home to stay with us."

"I had no way of knowing that Tanya was going to stay here permanently. Since her parents had died and all and her sisters in Alaska couldn't seem to control her. Dad caught us fucking and he was pretty damn disappointed in me. It felt like, after all the promises I made, I was still fucking things up. So, I tried harder. Did better. But it's never enough, you know?"

"Edward, you have to know you had nothing to do with Tanya waking up," Alice said softly, tightening her hold on my forearm. "The power of prayer is incredible and of course it could work its own miracles. But you have to realize, she was being well cared for…young enough to heal. It wasn't in your hands. You couldn't barter for her life."

"That's a heavy load of guilt to have been living under, lil brother," Emmett said quietly, swirling his coffee around in the mug. The slosh of liquid mixed with the pounding of my own blood in my ears.

"Edward, you were so young," Alice whispered. I could feel the sympathy pouring off of her. I fucking hated sympathy and it made me tighten up under her touch.

"I was too fucking young to be stealing cars, drinking and fucking to begin with. I know that all now but back then, I thought I knew everything," I snickered, self degradingly.

"Here's the catch," I shuddered and was thankful for the darkness to conceal me. "when I promised I said _forever_. I realize when your not _even_ God damn sixteen and your begging on your knees for someone's life, forever seems like a fair trade. But it's not, it's killing me slowly."

So, this was what it felt like to confess. "I don't really know if I ever loved her, but I thought I did. Or at least, I believed it."

Uncomfortable silence filled our table. The spot Carlisle held all of our most important, family decision meetings. I don't think I would ever be ready to confess any of this shit to him. Nothing hurt like the way my father had looked at me that day of the accident and every day, thereafter.

I knew the man loved me. But that didn't mean he liked me, as a person. And he probably never would, again.

I never realized how much I was rebelling against him by being that little destructive chit I was back then. Emmett was running some bad shit and it seemed like a lot of attention was thrown his way. So, since the squeaky wheel was the one that got all the oil, I started squeaking. It was stupid and childish but I wanted some fucking attention too. I was the good kid, the son that had never been in trouble.

And the day my father's eyes met mine in the hospital hallway was the end of my fucking innocence. I could fuck, drink and steal his car a thousand times and he might have tried to use logic to wake me up.

But that day, Carlisle Cullen looked like he lost a son that was standing right in front of him.

I love my dad. I promised I would never go against him like that again. I _swore_ that someday he would look at me the way he _used_ to. That pride-love-growing respect glance he would get when we would talk in his study after bailing Emmett out of trouble.

I knew now that he must have blamed himself, wondering what the hell he had done wrong to raise two bad sons.

If Emmett and I were apples, we fell far from the tree. Rotted to the core. I missed being in that esteemed place on the branch. I wondered if my brother did to. Although, ever since my little incidents, it looked like Emmett might have managed to make peace with Dad.

I was still awaiting that kind of benevolence.

"So, what are you going to do about Bella?" Emmett asked, climbing out of his seat and getting another cup of coffee. "Refill?"

I nodded. "I don't fucking know. I can't stop thinking about the girl. When shit happened at that party in Port, I figured it was just a onetime thing. Not that I meant for it to happen but I just couldn't control myself."

"It's not like you haven't had a shit ton of women throwing themselves at you since you've been with Tanya, so what made this girl so special?" Emmett had a great way of cutting straight to the heart of the matter. "I mean yeah, she's hot and all, but you know what I mean."

I felt Emmett take my cup and I leaned forward, cradling my head in my hands for a moment. _I've already told them the worst of it, why not dig a little deeper. _

"It's the way she smells," I didn't bother looking up.

"Like funky or something? You're into stinky chicks?" Emmett sat down, his tone completely confused.

"No, shithead. Like her…fragrance. Not her shampoo or soap or bullshit. Her skin. It smells like Tangerines and honey and wildflowers. It drives me fucking crazy, God damn just thinking about it," I exhaled sharply before continuing. "Just thinking about it makes me want to get in my fucking car, climb through her window and…yeah, you get the point."

"Whoa," Emmett said, and it was genuine. I actually shocked him.

"I don't know anything about her. I couldn't even tell you what her favorite fucking color was. And yet, I can't get her off of my mind. I fucked her in Port and didn't know her name and then she shows up at Forks High…and it turns out she is the Chief's daughter…and the second I caught the scent of her, shit!"

Alice jumped when I slammed my fist on the table.

"Bro, calm down."

"You don't understand Emmett. I spent the entire afternoon fucking her. And somehow I asked her something about other guys and turns out there was this one, but she wouldn't talk about it," I was rambling a mile a minute, my tone growing increasingly agitated.

"…and I got so fucking jealous, like I had any right. And the guys that look at her in school, I want to rip their damn eyes out of their sockets. And it actually fucking hurts, like in my gut, to be away from her."

"You've lost your damn mind, Bro." Emmett was smiling through his words. Yeah, he was shocked but also _amused_.

"No, he hasn't Emm," Alice said softly. There was still that edge of bad-dreams and now something that sounded like sadness in her voice. "The Italians have a word for it, _La Tua Cantante. _The Singer…"

"I fucking speak Italian too, sis. No need to translate, unless your being dramatic or some shit," Emmett snickered.

Alice must have punched him in the arm because I heard that hard-packed meat sound followed by a very male whimper.

"There's more where that came from," Alice threatened. Yeah, she definitely hit him. "Seriously though, Edward, remember dad's old friend Aro? I remember him telling me a story when we were kids, about someday finding that one person that just…_sings_ to you in the sweetest way possible…"

"No," I shook my head. I remembered the story well enough, even if I never liked Dad's old friends from Italy. The singer was a fairy-tale told to young children to explain true love and soul mates like fucking Cinderella or Snow-White or some Disney-colorful-fairytale. What a bullshit concept, on all accounts. There was no such thing.

"It's just a fucking obsession. I'll deal with it and this Tanya thing too. I've already done the dishonorable thing, so I have to make it right." It was as simple as that. It had to be.

"So, you're going to tell Dad?" Alice said softly.

"I have to. What's one more reason for him to be disappointed in me, right?" I stood up from the table and drank down the second cup of coffee Emmett had made for me. I glanced over at the microwave. It was only 4:15am. "I'm gonna go for a run."

I set my mug in the sink and turned off the coffee pot, the room was completely dark again with the exception of the soft green time display on the microwave.

As I rounded the corner toward the stairs, I snickered. I could have sworn I heard Emmett's husky voice whispering, "Yeah, that fucker's in love and he's got it bad."

Edward Cullen doesn't believe in love. And he certainly doesn't deserve it.

*

I ran to clear my head. Everything was dark and quiet and completely bare. The horizon had a faint lightness by the time I was making my way back. Forks was the dreariest damn place on the planet.

_Yeah, that fucker's in love and he's got it bad._

I wiped my brow with the towel that hung over my shoulders. I had forced myself to run hard, working up a sweat. It was cathartic. Pushing myself with only the constant beat of my sneakers on concrete, the rhythmic thundering of my heart as I worked all the angst out of my body.

I wasn't in love with Bella Swan. I didn't even know the fucking girl. Right? Of course, that didn't mean I wasn't fucking her. And that was God damn wrong on so many accounts. I just couldn't control myself when I was with her.

I felt the pull to her even now. She didn't live more than a ten-minute drive from my parent's house, maybe 11 miles one way. I could run there, and I wanted to, but I never would have made it back in time for school. I fucking hate being late.

Of course, that didn't stop me from running _toward _her house, taking the scenic path and listening for the scurrying of wild-life in their nocturnal struggle for survival, flitting on branches and shimmying pine needles.

_La Tua Cantante. _

Why did Alice have to make that stupid equation? Now that shit was going to be stuck in my head. Wasn't it bad enough I woke up, startled with the girl's name on my lips? Something spooked the shit out of me to snap me out of my near-dead state. I usually slept like a fucking corpse. A bomb could go off in my room and I would probably just roll over and try to turn it off like an alarm clock.

And if I didn't get my eight-hours of fucking beauty sleep as Emmett liked to bust my balls by saying, I was a God damn monster to deal with. Today was going to be one of those days. Not only did I spill all of my dirty little secrets to Frick and Frack, but I realized now I had to make it family knowledge and tell my father what was going on.

The man would probably make a few calls and get me shipped out to college early. Not that I had picked one out yet, or a major for that matter. Economics, maybe. Who the fuck knows.

Alright, maybe I was being a little harsh on Carlisle. Truth was, the man had never said more than a few cross words to me in all of my life. And I had deserved them. He was calm, thoughtful and reserved. I knew he loved me and it's not like he wasn't free about saying it. But having someone's love and having their respect are two different things.

I had fucked up enough to lose his respect. And I fucking mourned it like a fat kid mourns a fallen cupcake. If there was even a chance to get a taste of it, I would drop to my knees and start licking icing off the floor. Yeah, I am a pretty deep person with shitty analogies, I know.

_The only good thing that came out of that accident…was ending up with you._

I pumped my feet a little harder, getting a second burst of energy and a new slathering of guilt. Why the fuck couldn't I go back in time and wrestle those car keys out of my hand? Or refuse Tanya's' smooth fucking grip down my pants while I was already too distracted to be driving?

Why did my mouth have to write checks my heart couldn't cash?

I really fucking tried to love her. Tanya is beautiful and intelligent, a total spoiled bitch with an attitude problem and don't get me wrong, that's hot. It made me want to fuck her harder. Not in some degrading way, but because I got off on being a little rough.

_If this is about the other night--I just don't like it rough but I could learn._

The bargaining tool of a woman who _knows_ she is on her way out. Sex wasn't a weapon or a chip on a casino table. It wasn't a lucky fucking rabbit's foot either.

I kinda liked a little D/s in the bedroom but unfortunately, I never had much of a chance to play around with the idea since Tanya was so fucking into the soft shit. Occasionally she liked a few hard thrusts but that shit was rare. She preferred faster.

_Hard, Edward…please…_

Fuck. Bella knew what to ask for because she God damn wanted it to. She invoked the animal in me, that pure-male-pagan-God-energy that made me feel like the yin to her yang. I was like the stag in the forest snuffling her scent with my tongue.

I slowed my run to a walk, God damn thankful that I was home. I was fucking hard as a rock and I needed a hit of my addiction. I used the back door and took the stairs three at a time and locked myself in my room.

The clock read 6:45am. My muscles were burning but I was stripping off my clothes like they were fucking on fire. I hit play on my iPod dock, just for some background noise. I wasn't about to be whistling Dixie and I probably wasn't going to be too fucking quiet either.

I knelt on my bed and reached down between the mattress and spring, pulling out those gorgeous white-shimmery panties, folded up so I could keep her fucking scent just a little longer.

I needed fucking counseling. I was sure. But right now, the only help I wanted was picturing Bella Swan spread out for me, all hot and dripping underneath me.

I set her panties down on the bed, licking my lips as I leaned down and gave them a long, slow lap at the crotch with my tongue. I felt my breath hitch and my eyes roll back.

Fuck. I wasn't going to need to wet my palm down. I was already dripping.

My hips bucked into my fingers when I coned them around the head, sharing that warm heat down the base and back up again. God damn, I was twitching and sensitive. Yeah, my dick knew that scent. I almost felt bad in tricking him that it wasn't the real thing…

…cause the real thing could keep me fucking her for hours.

Like a God damn ritual, I shifted the white panties so I could use the soft silkiness to rub myself with and keep that tongue-damp center for later sucking. It would take a fucking miracle or a fucking disaster to keep me from fucking her in Biology class today.

_Bella bent over the lab table while I held her hands down on the surface_. I went into full fantasy mode.

_Edward, everyone is watching…_

"I don't give a fuck, your mine…let them take fucking notes…"

Fuck, I hissed and arched my hips, driving my dick against her panties. The bed shifted and I came down onto my elbows.

"You like that, baby? Nice and fucking open for me?' I growled low, sucking back a hard breath heavy with her scent under me.

_You're so big…Edward…don't make me beg…_

"Fuck, Bella…you get me hot when you're desperate for my dick_…" I fucked myself into her, hearing that hot little whimper when she stretched. _

_Edward…please…._

I made the shallowest movements, dragging the tip of my cock on white silkiness.

_Oh god, like that…_

_She loved how I fucked her. Teasing her, working her up and over. I set a faster rhythm and she mewled under me. My hips made the bed shake… _"Fuck, Bella you feel so good…."

Tangerine. Honey. Wet wildflowers.

_Harder…_

"Not yet, baby…that was just the warm up, I want to savor this…" I gasped hard. I was fucking shaking.

_I set her on the lab table on her fucking side and joined her there, spreading her thighs open. I wanted to eat her, fucking drink the scent that sang to me…._

"Stroke me Bella, fucking ride my dick with your palm…."

I shifted position, laying on the bed on my side…her fucking panties against my lips. I inhaled deep and moaned.

_Her small warm hand wrapped around me and my tongue danced up and down her hot, wet slit. Fuck, she tasted so good….I used my fingers to spread her open, watching that slick, dripping heat fall onto my tongue. I wanted to wear her all over my face…I wanted to watch her cunt shake when she came…_

_My teeth nipped at her clit. She gasped, shaking…jerking my dick so fucking perfectly. My tongue was deep in her pussy. Fuck, I worshipped this girl._

I stroked myself hard, leaking and growling and fucking myself into my fingers. I twisted my wrist and gave my head a treat. My teeth bit down on her panties.

_Edward…I'm gonna…_

"I fucking know…I taste it…cum on my tongue Bella…feed it to me," I growled with the damp fabric between my teeth.

_Fuck, she felt so good, tasted so good. I drove my slick muscle into her shivering pussy. My girl was going about to give me breakfast…_

Even in my fucking fantasy I waited for her to cum. I coned my fingers, stroking hard. I was leaking so God damn much that every pass of my hand sounded like I was fucking her.

"Bella…." I fucking snarled her name.

Everything tightened and I fell over the fucking edge. My hot fluid pumped out like a buckshot, bursting at the tip. Oh, fuck, she felt so good…

I rolled over on the bed with her panties in my mouth. I slid them out with my free hand and craned my head forward to drag my tongue over her perfectly flavored juices. I was still fucking shaking….

My fantasies were getting so God damn vivid, when my eyes refocused, I looked around for her.

"I'm gonna make it right, Bella…" _Where the fuck did that come from?_

I closed my eyes again, setting her panties down and grabbing a few tissues from the depleted box at my bedside.

I heard a knock at my door.

Like a God damn animal, I grabbed up Bella's panties and snarled, showing my teeth at the door. All kinds of disturbing and possessive and for that split second, not really myself.

"Edward?"

It was Alice.

"You gotta fucking be kidding me," I groaned and tucked my white-shimmery treasure back, setting it in its place between mattress and box spring.

I was still shaking. But it was different this time.

I was actually a little afraid that I had just…reacted that way. Over a pair of panties.

"One second." I shifted, grabbing up my boxers and jogging pants and nearly tumbling over as I put them on.

I pulled my sweat soaked shirt off of the floor and winced as I tossed it back on. I was going to need a shower before school and time was ticking.

I opened the door, still flushed and out of breath.

"Did you have a nice run?" She asked, flashing me a version of my own crooked smile. Cat-that-ate-the-canary, style.

"Yeah, it was…a great release," I snickered. I could play it cool.

"So, who were you talking to in here?" Alice was trying desperately to play coy. I knew I should have just stopped and stroked one off in the woods but I didn't have my treasure with me. Might have to plan for it next time.

"Myself." I pursed my lips. "Why?"

"Myself as in your hand, or myself as in your little stash, down there?" Alice was making me squirm and loving it.

"Can't a guy fucking jerk off without being bothered? It's perfectly fucking natural, you know." I wanted to run my hand through my hair but thought better of it. Shit, I needed to wash up.

"Self love is good love." Alice tried to bite back a laugh. "Incidentally, were you growling or was that snarling? Either way, that's a new one."

"So, did you come in here to mock me or just to annoy me?" I went to the bathroom and washed my hands, watching her from the angle in the medicine cabinet mirror with the door open.

"I wanted to tell you about my dream," she said much softer. "I think you might need to know."

I wiped my hands on the towel. Alice had my full attention.

"I don't know why, but I saw us in Alaska, all of us...even mom and dad. And you were holding your cell phone and sitting down staring at it like you were going to cry or scream or something," Alice said, in a far away voice.

"I don't fucking cry, so I must have been pissed off about something." I kept my voice even. "Like that's a shock."

"Sometimes, Edward, when I look at you, it's like…I see you in halves…not really physically, but there is this barely stitched together energy that is different colors…and I understand now what it represents."

"Well?" I was a little freaked, but she had seen worse. What was some metaphysical split? I was already fucking torn in two, maybe that's the visual she's picking up.

"Your changing and it's still...in its throes. There is the side of you that is so cordial and gentle, and then this other...well, it's primal. They will either join together or they will war for dominance."

_Well, that's fucking cryptic. _

"That isn't why I am telling you that part. There's more. I saw _Bella_," Alice said quietly. Her tone uneven.

"What about her?" I was at my sister's side like someone lit a firecracker under my ass. All that "two-sides" bullshit completely forgotten for the time being.

"She was...struck by lightning. She became like you…." Her voice was grave. "That aura that prisms around her split. It became two energies and one was very dark. It looked like she was barely stitched together. I don't know if it means the same thing as it does for you but it scared me." My eyes must have been the size of flying saucers because Alice actually looked…alarmed.

"Bella and I are going to be great friends; I feel that even in my dreams. But, I tasted anger all around her."

"Your dreams are so fucked up." I rose, pinching the bridge of my nose. What the hell kind of forecast was this? It was as crazy as the fucking mind that it came from.

"Well it isn't an exact science, Edward," she defended. "It's abstract, all about interpretations and sensations. Some of it might be complete rubbish-- as rudimentary as a child's drawings. But whatever it is, it doesn't _feel_ right."

"Have you dreamt of Bella and me before?" I had to hear it. Officially.

"Yes, the night before Port Angeles. I couldn't see her clearly and I had no idea who she was….but her energy was all around you in my dream. Now, of course--I have a face to put with it." Alice shifted, glancing nervously at me before she continued.

"You came together. One aura. All sparkling and magnificent, _very strong_, Edward. I saw it dance around you and hold you...and then it went through you like a lightning bolt." Alice shifted. "And it struck you in two."

_Oh, we came that night, alright. Hard. But lightning isn't supposed to strike twice.... _

"Don't be all fucking dramatic," I hissed. Alright, I was getting a little freaked. . I'm really not into the whole 'supernatural' side of things, I prefer black and white to various shades of grey.

_Keep it together, Cullen_

"Any other times I need to know about?" Coffee was wearing off. I felt weary.

"Monday morning, before school. I didn't _see_ Bella but I did see that energy circling around both parts of you and it was pulling you to her. Do you remember what I told you a long time ago about chains of fate, Edward?"

"Yeah, the links of everyone's lives are spread out in a chain, all Jacob Marley--Ebenezer Scrooge fashion right?" I exhaled sharply, my brow furrowed.

"Somehow, your chains aren't just connected...they are literally linked together...like...like...two dog collars wound up on one leash. It holds you to each other, interconnected and interwoven. Edward, it frightens me," Alice bit her lip, wide eyed and folded her leg beneath her. "That was the last one, I promise."

Something still wasn't right. In these dreams, Bella and I were connected.

_Two halves of a whole_.

I smiled softly at that thought. "Are we still chain-linked in your latest craziness?"

Alice nodded fast. "But the links have gotten weaker since the first time, they are trying to break."

My smile quickly soured. Dream-Bella was fracturing just like me, and _our chain_ was getting weaker. Panic lit through my body and I tensed. I wasn't going to let her go. She was _mine._

"_Why_ is she fracturing, Alice? Why did the chains get weaker? Did your dreams explain anything?" My hands were on her shoulders, gentle but demanding.

The silence was excruciating as I watched her glossy lips try to form words.

"It was the lightning. You hurt her," She finally blurted out and her fingers pressed up to her mouth, as though Mom had just caught her cursing like a truck-driver in impressionable company.

"How do we stop it?" Now, I was truly panicking. My Twin was quiet. "Alice, can we stop it?"

Her perfectly manicured spiky hair shivered and her eyes fell into mine. "It's already started…I'm sorry, Edward."

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_Author Rec_:

_**A Woman Scorned **_by Baby Bella 24. I have to say, this is pleasantly surprising. This is a brand new fic so get in on the ground floor of this baby! Excellent writing style, wonderful and very different concept. I have to say…I want to see where this one goes! http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5487972/1/A_Woman_Scorned

**A/N2**: Brits23 The most glorious soul to crash through my universe. Please check out her work: Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/ .

Join us on the Twilighted Forums for Breaking Trinity! We are the Covenant of the Snarl--make sure to grab your Forum Signature Blinkie on pg 98 of the Breaking Trinity Forum and desktop wallpaper--courtesy of Goddess Beauty _**Rose Arcadia**_!

This is for you, my sistah-Covenant members. _You are eye of the Snarl_! **A quick shout out to **_ScarletBlonde_**! I heart you darlin!**

Next Update scheduled for _Saturday, November 14, 2009_---a full Chapter BPOV. But be on the look out for a possible Wednesday update…if I get enough time to write this weekend--it will be yours.

Reviews mean the world to me. I answer every one of them as promptly as possible. Thank you for reading!


	14. If you gaze too long into a Abyss

Disclaimer: I do not derive financial gain from this work. On that note, Breaking Trinity is Copyright ©2009 and intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV©2009 . No unauthorized or illegal reproduction of this story is permitted under Federal Copyright Law. Copyright infringement, plagiarism (in whole or part), unauthorized translation, reproduction or otherwise unethical publication without the express written consent of the author.

**A/N1**: Due to some viewer feedback, I find it important to include the following warning: _Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. _Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you,

VvDeadRosesvV

* * *

Chapter 13: If you gaze too long into an Abyss…(Full BPOV)

*

BPOV

__

Phoenix, Arizona----February

The day started like any other.

Brilliant sunlight was streaming through my bedroom window, warming everything it touched. Renee was up early, helping Phil pack for his big try-out in Jacksonville, Florida. Minor League Baseball scouted him and they apparently liked what they saw.

Change was coming.

I finished dressing for school and returned to the kitchen. I washed up the dishes from breakfast, trying not to think what would happen if the Team signed Phil for a deal. It would mean relocation. It would mean upheaval.

I would be taken away from my friends and my boyfriend and I already hated the prospect. But of course I would leave, if I had to. Last night at dinner, Renee started crying at the realization that her newlywed husband was going to have to leave her for two days. She was so forlorn; I felt my heart heave for her.

How could I keep her here, if Phil goes there?

Just two days apart and she was a mess. What would happen if it was going to be weeks and months they had to be apart?

I heard the hum of a car engine pull up into the driveway. I fought back the sadness and pushed it into my throat. James was here. Like every morning.

I bounded into the living room where Phil was standing, clutching my mother, his suitcases at his feet. I knew they were having a car sent to take my step-father to the airport. There was no way my mother was going to be in any state to drive.

"I-uh-don't want to interrupt," I said softly and Renee disentangled herself from Phil's wet shoulder. She wiped tears from her eyes.

"Bella, you're never interrupting," he smiled. Phil had a kind face with a sadness that was genuine. I could tell because it touched his eyes. "Did you come to wish me luck?"

I nodded softly and I could see my mother smile. She liked it when we played family.

"Thanks, Bella." He opened his arms and I made my way over. I let him hug me and I returned it with a pat to his back.

Renee was so taken with the sight, she hugged us both into her. A triangle of arms and cheeks and her warm tears.

"Good luck, Phil," I said gently. I kissed Renee's cheek and slid out of the embrace. "Will you be okay, Mom?"

She nodded, wiping her cheek. Her answer never made it as far as her eyes. I knew now, I might as well cancel any plans I might have made through the day with James. It was going to be a very long night.

__

I turned and gathered up my haversack.

"Bella," Renee called after me. "Take a light jacket, honey. It's going to rain today."

I nodded again but went to the door without the recommended garment. I had been living in Arizona long enough to know that yes, we had two seasons of monsoon weather and we were in the midst of one in early February. But they were break-pattern, sporadic at best.

It was going to be too gorgeous of a day to worry about rain.

I closed the door behind me and nearly skipped over to that gorgeous yellow and black stripe Chevy Camaro SS waiting for me. The top was down and the music was slowly being lowered as I approached.

"Good morning, Sunshine." James tipped his sunglasses down along the bridge of his nose, smiling as I opened the car door.

"Hey Mister, looking for a ride?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he laughed, leaning over me.

"I'm the one that's supposed to say that, Bella. I'm giving you a ride…" His lips brushed mine and every nerve in my body started to fire at once. I leaned back into plush leather seats and slid my hand along his cheek as he kissed me.

James always tasted so good.

I tossed my books into his backseat, freeing up my lap so he could place his hand right above my knee, like always.

When he pulled back, he slid his sunglasses back in place. "Didn't you bring a jacket?"

I buckled myself in and gathered up my hair, feeling for the band I usually kept around my wrist for the morning ride.

"Let me guess, you're going to tell me it's going to rain too?" I said absently. Shit, no band for my hair. By the time we got to school it was going to be a tangled mess.

James placed his hand behind my seat and we rolled back in reverse. My eyes followed his hand to the shifter and there sat a fire-red scrunchie, wound around the black stick. That wasn't mine.

"That's not my hair tie, I don't use scrunchies?" I looked to James as we leveled off and he started to shift into 'drive'.

"Oh, that's Victoria's--my Chem partner. I gave her a ride home after the library yesterday," he said matter-of-factly. "I'm sure she won't mind if you use it."

I shook my head no. My brain was busy searching through yesterday's events to try and remember if James had mentioned anything about meeting her at the library after school. But I was coming up blank.

"Are you sure you don't want to run back inside and at least get an umbrella or something?" He asked and his voice was a little off.

I shook my head no, again. I still couldn't seem to form words.

"Alright, but it's your wet ass. Storm's coming."

We pulled off into the bright, sweltering heat of mid-morning. James didn't put his hand on my knee like he always did.

Those words he said before started sounding ominous. I repeated them over and over again, trying to decipher it like a foreign tongue.

Storm's coming.

__

*

I was coming back to life as the day progressed, shaking off that feeling of dread from this morning.

I was a rational person. I understood that with the high emotions running through the house and practically pouring off of Renee and Phil, the mindset I was starting the day out with was a little off kilter.

Who cared if James and Victoria went to a very public library to study for Chemistry? They were partners and mid-terms were coming up. It only made sense, really. And I was sure he had mentioned something about it, but as usual my mind was probably too preoccupied to store up the information.

I was studying for mid-terms too.

"Bella, you want to get a few quick questions in before class?" Riley smiled, pushing away from his lunch plate. His dark hazel eyes danced with concern. We were both pretty anxious about the Physics quiz coming up next class.

"Yeah, I could definitely go for that." I set the piece of apple I was chewing on into the bite of my teeth, holding it there while I withdrew my haversack and set it on my lap. I flipped past the text books I still kept in there and looked for my blue one-subject spiral notebook that I used only for Physics.

"Shit, I think I left it in James' car this morning. I swear his backseat swallows everything, including sunlight sometimes," I grumbled. "I'll go get it, if you want to watch my stuff real quick?"

"I can come with you if you want, catch a smoke before we get started?" He glanced at his watch at the same time I looked over to the obnoxiously large clock in the cafeteria. We still had a half-hour, what's a few more minutes, right?

"Sure, let's go." I gathered my haversack onto my shoulder and Riley stopped me mid-motion.

"I'll sling that thing so you can run ahead, I've only got next period books with me."

I shrugged and let it fall into his grip. Riley was a nice guy, only a recent friend this past year. He was new to the area, moved from New York City. We hit it off pretty well and we both sucked in Physics. So, we became a constant lunch-date to review what we felt like we would never get a grasp on.

We walked out of the cafeteria to the side of the building. When we got through the doors we ran to the curb and he slung my haversack down at his feet.

"I'll be right back," I said hastily and made my way across the area where the buses normally parked in at dismissal. I took off at a run for the student parking lot.

James's car was easy to spot. All waxed and shiny and practically a beacon under Arizona sunlight. It was damn sweltering outside but at least it was a dry heat, so the sweat that gathered on every inch of available skin was less sticky and clammy than it would have been.

I could see clouds moving into blue sky.

Storm's coming.

I slowed down when I approached the car. I wasn't sure why. The top was up and so were the black-out tinted windows. I guess it made sense to cut the sunlight out of the interior, leather faded fast when exposed to such a constant barrage.

I realized then, the car was running. Shimmery waves of heat were sliding off of the front of the car and the engine was purring. Music was blaring from the inside.

What the hell?

You know that sinking feeling you get in your chest that slowly inks its way into the gut and makes you tremble? I had it now. A thousand butterflies beating their wings into my sternum, making my mouth suddenly go dry.

I came around the car to the passenger side.

Movement, in the front window that was clear and untouched from the tint that leaked like shadow around the rest of the reflective surface of the car.

My hand was shaking when I reached for the door.

Prodigy…was blaring over the custom sound system James prided himself on. The bass was pumping hard enough to make the car shake.

**I'm a fire starter, twisted fire starter**

**You're the fire starter, twisted fire starter**

__

I bit my lip.

I pulled back the door.

A cold blast of air-conditioning and the scent of sex slapped me across the face.

I screamed.

**I'm the self inflicted, mind detonator - yeah**

**I'm the one infected, twisted animator**

__

I nearly fell over when I tried to scramble away.

The image was burned into my eyes like finger-flames destroying sage-brush on desert sand.

Victoria and James were entangled, her body straddled over his with his hands on her hips, pulling her down. He was fucking her, sweaty and still clothed and laying back on the passenger seat.

**I'm a fire starter, twisted fire starter**

**You're the fire starter, twisted fire starter**

_I felt Riley's arms around me and I collapsed into him. He must have taken off in a sprint through the parking lot when he heard me scream. He was out of breath. "What the fuck?"_

_"We have to--we have to go--" I think that was what I was saying, everything felt so jumbled. I pressed my eyes into Riley's shirt. I had to make myself blind. I had to get the vision out._

_"Bella!" I heard the last voice I ever wanted to hear again. And it was getting closer._

_"Take me home--take me home--take me home, Riley please--take me home." I was pulling his shirt into my face. I had to cover myself up. I had to disappear. I had to be really small and really still so no one would ever find me._

_"What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole!" Riley shouted, gripping me tight, I think. I was sinking. I was falling. I found the ground._

_Riley was still with me, on his knees. He probably didn't have a choice. I couldn't let his shirt go._

_"Fuck you, Riley." James was close. "Bella--it's not what you think…Bella look at me!"_

_"Not what she thinks? That's why your fucking whore has cum running down her God damn leg, its fucking sizzling on the concrete you shithead. And your fucking pants are still undone." Riley actually laughed at James._

_James could be threatening. Riley was going to get hurt._

_"Take one more fucking step and I swear to Christ, I'll fucking cut you down." Riley sounded fierce. Really, really fierce._

_I felt the shirt I was clutching become free in my grasp. I kept my face hidden, sobbing, shaking, rocking and reaching out. I was on the ground. I grabbed Riley's leg. He was standing before me._

_"Bella!" James called me again. I laid down on the concrete. I was completely broken. I couldn't breathe._

_"Take another step closer, Arizona…and let's see how fast New York fucks you up."_

_There was shuffling and movement and sneakers dragging over concrete. Hard packing meat sounds. Curses, shouting like a foreign tongue._

_Droplets of rain started to splash onto my skin. I felt it like warm tears. Even the Gods were in lament._

_I was dizzy. Light was flickering passed my clenched eyes. I was breathing so fast, so heavy it felt like my lungs were about to explode._

_I felt blackness. Actually _felt_ it when it reached out to touch me._

_Before it all went away, I heard something soft and faint and very far away from me. Like it was on the end of a tunnel and its' echo was trying to find me._

_A woman. Victoria._

_"I'm so sorry. Oh, my god…I'm so sorry….I didn't mean…for this…."_

_The Storm was here._

*

__

I had become Victoria.

Somehow, someway the storm had found me in Forks.

My stomach was churning till I could taste battery acid in my throat. I was still shaking and my defenses were up.

__

How could he do this?

He was no better than James.

Of all the God-damn bullshit and secrets this elusive guy had to carry around with him, it had to be _this_. I could have accepted _almost_ anything. But not…infidelity. I was its victim. I was left broken by it.

What drives a man to become a monster and abuse the trust of those around him?

I quirked my brow at my own question. Wait. Did I actually trust Edward Cullen?

It was completely ridiculous that in that singular moment, I realized I _did._ I had known him a cumulative of two-days. I had sex with him three times. And the first time, I didn't even know his name!

I let him…go down on me, an act I had made his predecessor work for. It was too intimate, too vulnerable. And in so little time, Edward Cullen had already been given that gift.

Did I love him?

No, I was incapable of such a thing. Too broken and questioning and fearful of what something as intense as _love_ could destroy. Once upon a time, I may have believed in fairy-tales, soul-mates and love at first sight.

Edward Cullen was none of those things. He wasn't even love at first-fuck. If something so obscure could ever really exist.

I wondered why…I didn't even know what his favorite color is. _Oh, Jesus-Christ, Bella stop it._

Why was I drawn to him? Even now, angry at myself and angry at him, I felt that dull ache in my stomach that longed for him. Craved him, like some injectable drug, some kind of fully customizable heroin.

The sickest thing…was…

…I didn't know if I could refuse him.

I was torn in two.

I still wanted him. Even now. That made me feel like the wretched whore Jessica had once joked around that I was. The things he did to me were incredible. The way he absolutely opened my body and awoke my desire was unnerving.

He could _neve_r be mine. I _didn't_ want him. I _couldn't_ want him.

But I knew, somewhere deep in the fortress of defenses I had crafted around me, I still did.

I was the monster. I stared into the abyss and it knew me now. It claimed me as one of its own. And for that, I hated myself. I hated him. I hated James and Victoria and every happy couple that held hands and whispered magic words of love and passion and desire into awaiting ears.

I hated his wild bronze hair and dazzling green eyes. That crooked smile and deep, husky voice. I hated the velvet of his skin and the way he could make me tremble with only a brush of his fingertips.

I hated that I wanted to go to him, right now and demand answers. Demand an apology. Demand he proclaimed that he would choose me over her.

Tanya.

That was her name. Tanya, the probably-beautiful-model-type that belonged with him. She was probably a blonde, just like pretty-pretty Jessica. Of course, even in my mind, Tanya was far superior to some scraggly, mousy brunette with too little fashion sense and lacking the girlie-gene.

I was plain-old-Bella.

She was Tanya: Edward's-girlfriend.

I felt my inner thoughts try to regurgitate every word I thought into a pile on the floor--like bile.

I raged. I wished Riley was here to pick me up off of the floor again and make the bad guy go away. But Riley was still in Arizona. And he still never responded to my email once I had gotten here.

I had no heroes to defend me. I was on my own.

Time was ticking and I could hear Charlie moving around upstairs. I gathered every brick and mortar of my defenses and re-fortified them against the vicious, horrible enemy. They were going to have to withstand green-eyes, bronze hair and a scent…that could make me a willing slave to his every desire.

Edward Cullen already owned me.

I hated him for it.

I leaned over the kitchen sink, left hand braced on the Formica countertop. The right, I kept hanging low at my side, gauze wrapped with cotton underneath to staunch the blood-flow that was inevitable.

I was thankful Charlie had enough foresight to keep a well stocked medicine cabinet. Not only as an Officer but as a father of a very accident prone daughter.

It didn't hurt anymore. Nothing did.

I had enough Ibuprofen in me to drop a horse.

Even then, I was switched off and analytical. I-Goddamn-Robot.

I lifted my right hand to the grey light of the window and studied the first-aid job.

I was a right-y. I used it for everything. And since I was still going to have to drive and take notes in classes today, I knew the tentative scabbing at my knuckles would probably break open again.

In the early hours of this morning, I bit down hard enough to break the skin at my knuckles and squelch my panic-cries. My teeth tore frantic enough to probably require one or two stitches between them.

My middle finger was decently shred to shit, right between the two knuckles where my lower jaw did the most damage. I had walked over broken glass too. Luckily, the penetration was superficial.

I didn't want to have to wake Charlie in the middle of my insanity to take me to the hospital. How would I explain what had happened?

I put extra wrapping in my haversack.

I would have bandaged my neck up to save me the stares at the new, deep bite mark left in my shoulder. The opposite side was healing, but this one was fresh enough to let the world know it was just a little too recent.

I left my hair down. It was already starting to tangle. I didn't have enough care in me to hair spray it in place. Or put a shade of gloss on. Or even pick out decent, weather appropriate clothing.

I was dressed for anguish.

Old white-wash jeans, boots, a worn burgundy green t-shirt with a black-drawn silhouette of Friedrich Nietzsche. The quote that ran the length of my chest, above his wizened head, read "**_Morality is the Herd Instinct in the Individual."_ **

On the back, one more of his prolific statements. I wore them like a badge of honor, realizing not a single person in Forks High had probably ever heard of Nietzsche. The essence of intellectual-Nihilism and thoughtful rebellion. He matched my mood, custom tailored to the complete mockery and internal death I felt right now.

**_He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you_**

"Morning, Bells. Aren't you going to be late?" I heard Charlie behind me. He moved around to the counter and flipped on the automatic coffee maker I had filled last night.

"Probably," I said softly, letting my hand drop to my side.

"Friedrich Nietzsche, eh? Haven't seen that T-shirt in a while, who's on your shit list?" Charlie knew me. I had to give him that.

"Edward Cullen." His name tasted like poison on my lips. I wanted to rinse my mouth out and spit until the tingling was gone. To think, how beautifully I had screamed and begged and wrapped my mouth and tongue around his name, hours before the world fell down.

"Already? He must work fast," Charlie chuckled. No doubt he was wondering how someone could make my shit-list in less than two days. I probably would be asking the same thing, if the situation didn't hit so close to my heart, so soon.

"You have no idea," I turned. Charlie reached out and took my forearm, stopping me. His eyes were on the bandages.

"Did he do this to you? I don't remember seeing it last night?" Officer Swan-meter, _rising_. "Is there something I need to know, Bells? That why you were asking all those questions about their family?"

"No, Dad. This morning was a fluke. I broke a glass," I turned to face him, impassive as possible; even while my soul was on fire inside of me. "I dressed it, it's fine." My voice was automated and I struggled to keep it low enough to not perk his concern. My father had great ears for subtlety.

"I should take you to the hospital and get it looked at." The needle on his gage was slowly creeping to half way, shaking like a speedometer. Charlie's voice was getting deeper, gaining more authority.

"I'm already late Dad, it's fine. If it breaks open or if I feel any glass in there, we can go and get it looked at, alright?" I was thankful my hair was guarding my neck and shoulder or he might have put two and two together. Officer Swan was a crafty one.

"I'm working the overnight, but I should still be here when you get home," Charlie nodded and looked to the sink. No evidence of the broken glass that had never been dropped. Even with the questioning in his eyes, I knew he trusted me. I'd never given him a reason not to--that he would be aware of.

"Billy and Jacob are coming this afternoon. Billy wants his kid to look at the truck since you've been running it for a few days," He changed the subject, turning his eyes from the kitchen sink to the the trash can.

"Before you, it just sat in the shed like a lame horse. Try to come right home after school, alright?" Charlie reached for his coffee mug, his brows still knitted in consternation.

I should have broken a damn glass just to be on the safe side. _Too late now_.

"Fine, Dad." Yeah, like I was really looking forward to visitors. School was going to be difficult enough without worrying about helping Charlie entertain his best friend and Jacob, the son he never had but always wanted.

I couldn't count how many times my Dad had filled in the silence of our weekly phone conversations when I was back in Phoenix--with Jacob. _Great kid Bells, all grown up like you now. He and Billy send their love._

I turned and grabbed my keys from the counter, opening the door. I tried to maintain normalcy but my hands were shaking.

If I asked Charlie, he would have probably let me stay home from classes today.

"Oh, and Bells? If you need me call my cell phone. I was thinking about going fishing." Charlie gave me a half worried glance.

"Bye Dad, have fun down at the Rez." I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind me. I thought I heard Charlie mumbling something about _'Carlisle's boy'_ under his breath.

I let out a heavy breath as I slid into my truck, turning the ignition with a wince of pain and a string of silent curses.

If Edward Cullen knew what was good for him, he would stay the hell out of my way, today.

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A/N2: **_Brits23_ **My angel of mercy, my twin spirit. Please check out her work: Please check out her work: Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/.

**Author Recs!!**

**Tilt by Lambcullen: **Behold Sexdeckward! 52 Cards, 52 positions…It's going to be 52 Breathless nights. Lamb has the most intense way with words. Her scenes are so descriptive you just can't look away. Drop some love, Snarlies….and make sure you check out her other incredible works! http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5483997/1/Tilt

**A Woman Scorned by Baby Bella 24: **I still can't get enough of this fic. Bella discovers her husband Edward and best friend Tanya are having an affair. Instead of losing her cool, she finds salvation…in getting even. The author of this fic is starting to rock my world harder and harder. Show some love! http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5487972/1/

As you may have noticed, this update came a bit early. Due to a post that came off a day early on Twilighted, I could not allow you all to be deprived. So, here is the chapter.

Next update will be for Saturday November 14, 2009_._

__

We have a bunch of lovely new readers joining us. I have yet to hear from most of you!

Please review or at least say Hello!

I reply to all reviews, forgive the delay if it takes me a few days…RL has a way of cutting down my chances to write back as fast as possible!


	15. the Abyss gazes also into you

Disclaimer1: All characters are Trademark Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not derive financial gain from this work. On that note, Breaking Trinity is Copyright ©2009 and intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV©2009 . No unauthorized or illegal reproduction of this story is permitted under Federal Copyright Law. Copyright infringement, plagiarism (in whole or part), unauthorized translation, reproduction or otherwise unethical publication without the express written consent of the author.

Disclaimer2: See previous chapter on Warnings/Ratings.

A/N1: A very happy birthday to LulabelleJane! May this day grant you every wish and more happiness than your heart and hands can hold! With Luv, VvDeadRosesvV+Snarlward.

Chapter 14: …the Abyss gazes also into you.

*

BPOV

_Get out of the truck, Bella_. _God damn it, hadn't I done this already, just yesterday?_

I sat behind the steering wheel of my truck, gripping the cool leather and watching through my sunglasses; the fascination of red leaking into pristine white gauze. I didn't anticipate having to change the dressing so early. _Maybe_ it could hold out till lunch. I would hate to have to go to the school nurse and have her take a firsthand look at my incredible mouth-work.

_What am I going to tell the others? _

Panic surged through me at the inevitable questions. I had to think fast and stick to it. I forced my clouded mind to focus, even for a brief second.

_Dishes_. A glass fell in the sink while I was doing dishes and gashed my knuckles. It would have to work with them like I hoped it had with Charlie. I was a bad liar but it would _have to _do the job. How long would anyone want to stick around me if they knew the truth? Not only had I fucked Edward Cullen, but I had gone bat-shit when I got my just rewards for tasting heaven.

I pushed my sunglasses into my face till I felt the nose guards press unnaturally tight. I wanted to hide. To shield myself. Maybe, I should have stayed home.

_Bullshit. Plain and simple. You didn't know he had a girlfriend. But he sure as hell did._

My conscience sounded psychotic--taking pleasure in twisting and turning me over hot coals. Now that I knew the truth of why Edward's words were so distant, I was even more enraged.

He wanted me to be his _secret_. So he could have his cake and eat it too. He wanted to be _James_ and pull the gauze over my unsuspecting, naïve eyes.

I knew from the first moment I saw him again, Edward was never meant for me. Someone so high on the God damn food chain doesn't end up with a low-rung girl like me. We could never be an _us_.

_You lay down with dogs and you get fleas._

I snickered coldly in remembrance. I had said that to myself the morning after that party in Port. I even remember thinking, he must be some kind of play boy, with hordes of women on their knees begging for his service. I knew first-hand just how worth it those services were. Edward Cullen owned my body.

_He kept saying we were two halves of a whole, didn't that mean anything? Anything at all??_

How many times had he said those very same words to Tanya? GOD! Just thinking her name made me want to wretch and my hand flew off the steering wheel like I had just touched open flame.

I couldn't hate her but I _wanted _to. I wanted to blame her for all of this. But she didn't know about me and apparently I was never supposed to know about _her_ either.

_A stiff dick knows no conscience._

I had no rebuttal against myself for this little nugget of truth. Confucius had spoken. I was convinced and still afraid.

_What am I going to do when I see him? How am I going to stop myself from falling over and screaming like a big-bag of crazy?_

One breath at a time.

I thought back to Victoria and her words before I felt the blackness encircle me, on the asphalt back in Phoenix. We are not so different now, she and I. I never hated her. Now, I pitied her…because I understood.

_James made his choice. The same as Edward will._

It. Hurts. To. Think. His. Name.

James and Victoria. Edward and Tanya. Me and my inner flaming-angry-conscience.

I dragged in an uneven breath, forcing myself to fling the truck's rusty door open. I found comfort in its sick, metallic scream. I'd just taken it and thrust it away from the body of the vehicle it was _made_ for. It longed to return. I hated knowing I longed for the same.

I knew the first bell had rang already. The parking lot was packed with cars but nearly devoid of classmates. A few stragglers remained, yes, but the majority of the students were where they should be.

Tires squealed in the background but it was no comparison to the mechanical gears spinning in my own head. Someone was late to class. I probably never should have come here today.

_We will not run this time._

Finally something my conscience and I could agree on.

I dangled my feet closer to the ground, my shielded eyes watching the asphalt precariously.

_The moment I step down, I am going to take charge of my life and this situation._

I instantly wished Jessica was here, my saving grace from yesterday. She was probably pissed off at me for not returning her calls last night. I knew now that I would have to pay very close attention to her, more than ever before. Jess was the only friend I had here in Forks. Without her, I was doomed to walk the halls like a specter, every set of eyes calling me Edward's whore.

Even if no one else ever knew, I would still believe those accusing stares would meet and greet me at every turn.

_You tasted heaven. Now, welcome to Hell._

Slowly, I touched down on official school property, sliding my haversack over my left shoulder. My right hand hung limply at my side. I was still shaking and I could smell copper.

The first pangs of nausea struck over me like a dull wave. I slammed the door to my truck and held my breath. _One step at a time_. I slowly made it to the tail-gate of the red beast that bore me into my hell.

It was going to be a very long, very bad day.

*

EPOV

Fucking _late_. Second day in a row.

I God damn _hated _being late. That's why I left Alice and Emmett behind, to ride in his jeep. Neither seemed particularly motivated to try and beat the clock. Well that and I also had baseball practice today which meant they were going to have to find their own damn ride if they didn't take another car.

_Shit, baseball practice!_

I left the physical form with Carlisle and never had the chance to speak to him about it last night. I was going to have to text my Dad and ask him to complete it and fax it to the school by lunch time or Coach was going to have my balls in a vice.

This morning was turning out to be a real fucking winner. Between Alice's confession about her bad dream and my long, early-morning admission to my siblings--I was thriving off of less than eight-perfect-fucking-hours of beauty sleep. Yeah, I should have just taken the damn day off and cut classes.

But then I wouldn't see Bella.

I was fucking craving her. _This_ is what it had to be like for heroin addicts trying to score their drug of choice every day. _A need, not a want_. Without being near her, even these few hours, I was starting to feel a little out of my mind.

From obsessive panty-fucking to _this. _I was sure even Mr. Basttion would say I was a ticking-time bomb-of-psychosis waiting to go off.

My tires squealed as I slid into the first parking spot I could see. If I kept doing shit like that, my breaks were going to give. I'd have to ask Rosalie to take a look at them. Not only was she a Supreme-Bitch and future playboy model but she was also into cars. Like, _heavy_ into cars. The type of girl that throws on overalls and rolls herself under it to take a peek. Emmett found that hot. And yeah, he was right.

The lot was packed and I was several rows back and away from the side entrance to the school. I knew the first bell already rang, the damn parking lot was virtually lifeless.

I tossed my door open and slid out, grabbing my books off the passenger seat in a swift motion. Alice and Emmett couldn't be that far behind. Not like it mattered really. Fucking royalty, remember?

I let out a string of curses as I slammed my car door closed and double tapped the alarm key. I scanned the lot and mentally prepared myself for the day from hell.

Until I saw that red behemoth truck, diagonal and a few hundred meters away from me. That damn death-trap had made it here safely one more day. Hallelujah.

But that relief I felt was instantly washed away.

_Bella._

I could see her, one hand braced on the truck and leaning against it like it might be the only thing keeping her grounded to this world. Or maybe, I was just too fucking tired and pissed off for logic. When I left her last evening, she was fine…if not a bit testy at my hasty declarations about secrecy and our shit just being what it is.

Her shoulders were slumped. In that weird defeated-by-the-world kind of way. What the fuck had happened since last night?

I knew she didn't understand our little chat before I left her father's house. I had no way to make her grasp it. In hindsight, I really wished I had taken the time to assuage her fears and make her smile again. She had such a contented smile.

It took every last drop of my willpower to actually make it to work on time once I left her side. Constant thoughts of turning back around and throwing her down on the bed to cover my body over hers made me eat every mile, bitterly.

That made me instantly think of Tanya. I had to deal with the shit tonight, after baseball practice and work. That meant no following Bella home on early dismissal.

_Shit_, even if I wanted to skip another class,_ one of two _obstacles was already in my path.

First, Mr. Molina would have my God damn head. The pass from Mr. Basttion would let me slide once…but twice in a row and he might actually pummel me to the ground. The fucker was wiry and had a zero tolerance policy for missing his classes.

Secondly, there was no such thing as skipping baseball practice. It didn't matter if you were puking on the bench and rotting from a fever, he would just tell you to do a lap, walk it off and get ready to run drills and bat-at-turn.

The take-it-like-a-man policy of Coach Klapp.

_Bella_.

All I had was Biology class. Stolen glances at lunch. Maybe I could sneak her away for the period and bring her back to my car. Fuck, what I wouldn't give to taste her mouth and touch her skin and maybe even finger-fuck the hell out of her in the passenger seat.

That thought actually made me smile. I don't fuck in my car. It's too cramped and I like to move. But for her, I might make an exception and try to trap her dripping _wet-wildflower _scent into my leather seats. That would probably mean I'd end up licking those too, just like her panties.

Jesus, I'm fucked in the head.

I realized I was standing like an idiot, trapped between some sub-par Kia and an ego stroking yet planet-friendly Prius. Not a bad car, just not my taste.

I zeroed in on Bella and started to move. That's when I noticed her head hanging low, dark mahogany tendrils dripping down her shoulders. She was wearing a burgundy shirt with dark writing. Friedrich Nietzsche.

_He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby becomes the monster. And if you gaze for long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you._

Fuck. She was beautiful _and_ intelligent. How many chicks actually knew who the hell Nietzsche was and was still confident enough to wear a quote like that on their back? She was an enigma.

It made me instantly recall a snippet of Nihilistic philosophy, also from the same great thinker.

_What is done out of love always takes place beyond good and evil._

Fuck, why that one? Of all the inexplicable quotes I could have summoned to mind, that was the one my subconscious chose? Isabella Swan was perfect. All I could think of at this moment was Alice's visions about the fucking chains of fate.

_You hurt her. It's already started…I'm sorry, Edward. _

My eyes widened. I braced my hand on the hood of the Prius before me and took off at a sprint. I was suddenly desperate to close in the distance between us. I moved without even thinking.

My senses became acute. There was a tinge of copper in the air.

Wait, was her hand hurt? All mummy-white and wrapped up, yeah--that right hand was at her side and dangling almost limply. What the fuck?

_No, wait. Seriously, What the fuck?_

_*_

BPOV

_Sun. Sand._

Please-God, no.

I kept my head down, my lips beginning to quiver in anger and shame. I was mad as hell. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow him into a hole. But I was also…struck with desire. Strong and earthy and full of his scent.

I gasped. I remembered.

That thin sheen of sweat that covered his form. The way he felt moving inside of me, so perfect…I stretched myself open to make room for him and it felt right. To be one. Two halves of a whole.

I was conflicted. I wanted to hate him. I refused to be weak.

"Bella!" His voice broke through the air. It sounded frantic.

I shook my head and pushed off of the tailgate of my truck. I found my legs and I moved at the fastest pace I could, never removing my eyes from the ground. Now was not the time to be clumsy and stumble. Now, there was only escape. I had been his prey…and to what ends? No, the feast was finished. Edward had already taken all I had to give.

"Fucking wait!" His footfalls on the pavement were closer. My left hand clutched my haversack, the world shifted ahead of me, in a tangled sea of my hair. I couldn't stop moving, I couldn't look up.

Edward's breath assailed me. I cringed and fought the need to melt.

_Sun. Sand_. His scent called to me.

"Leave me alone." My words were so soft; I almost believed I had never said them.

"What the fuck do you mean--_leave you alone_?" Edward was panting for breath but it wasn't from exertion. There was something else there.

_Stop it, Bella. There is nothing charming or caring about a liar!_

"Please," I begged. This time, he wasn't above me when I said it. Didn't he understand the significance of that?

"What happened to your hand?" Edward was behind me, trailing me close enough to wash in the waves of his body heat.

_He sounded worried…NO! Don't you dare give into that bullshit! _

I shook my head and bit my lip. The war was raging inside of me. The great Generals of my heart and mind plotted a strategy that tore me in half.

He moved in front of me. I could see his boots and jeans. I evaded to the side but he was still facing me, walking through the zig-zag I created between us.

"God damn it, Bella. What the fuck happened to your hand?" Edward reached for me, his fingers against my wrist at the edge of gauze, humming and alive and electric all at once.

I pulled back from his touch, recoiling like he had struck me with _lightning_. His touch tore me in two. My eyes shot up to his, the sunglasses barely concealing the glare of hatred in my eyes.

"Don't touch me!" I_ snarled_, my body moving backwards like I was recovering from a punch to the gut. I hunched. I screamed. I was an animal lashing out at the cage. "Don't you _ever_ fucking touch me again!"

I lost my mind. I lost touch with reality. Curses streamed past my lips and I was speaking in tongues. I spit on the ground, releasing my anger and insanity like venom.

His boots followed me. I moved back into the causeway between cars, the void of space created by fenders.

"God damn it, Bella! What the _fuck_ is going on?" His venom was stronger. Powerful. Angry. _Afraid_. I could taste it in the air, dappled with sun and sand. Edward's books crashed into the concrete. "Let me see your fucking hand! For Christ-sake!"

My hands clenched into fists. The fissures of my destroyed skin cracked open. I could feel thick, rivulets of wetness captured beneath the gauze. Copper. Blood.

Edward lunged for me, grabbing me by the elbow and dragging me in against him.

I howled like a harpy, crying out bloody murder as the very essence of him assaulted me. My haversack dropped to the ground and I fought against him. My left hand smashed into the wall of his chest, nails digging into him, past his shirt and open jacket--like claws.

I heard him hiss. "Fucking stop it!"

I roared. I kicked. I snapped my teeth at his skin. I hated him. _I hated him _and I didn't want him to touch me.

"Get the fuck off me!" I howled. "I'm not……I'm NOT…."

"Calm down, Bella! Fuck, your acting crazy!" He roared, trying to reclaim me when I moved out of his grip, falling back against the fender of an old Dodge Aries.

My sunglasses hit the ground. I was exposed and bare.

Edward kept advancing. I slid along the fender and out into the main area between the rows of cars, open and ready to run.

A vehicle was making its way toward us. I was trapped. TRAPPED!

_No_.

_This is where we stop running._

"I'm not Tanya!" The sentence was finally complete.

The silence was deafening.

Edward didn't move.

Nothing did.

The world stopped spinning.

My tears turned to dust.

There was thunder overhead….

*

EPOV

She recoiled from my touch. Like I would _hurt _her.

_I'm sorry Edward…It's already begun…._

My chest was stinging from the bite of her nails, the force of her movement. She wanted to be away from me, far away!

I didn't understand….what had changed? What the hell was happening?

I followed her, my eyes wide and breathing accelerated. I could taste her scent, diminished and mixed with blood and anger and fear and other things I couldn't begin to decipher. My fingers raked through my hair.

I tried to calm her down by holding her to me. But she was free now, backing away and cursing the air between us like something had possessed her. This wasn't _my _Bella, so soft and beautiful and blushing with desire.

This was a banshee wailing at the walls of a self made prison.

_I'm not your….What? Tell me, Bella!_

I couldn't _be away _from her. I had to touch her, I needed her against me. Whatever it was that was hurting her…I'd fix it, I'd make it better….I'd fucking kill if I had to…

Emmett's jeep was coming up the way, trapping Bella and I between claustrophobic cars. What a fucking time for an audience.

She stopped moving. She stopped running from me. She was shaking.

A sleek doe with no escape. The forest had claws and fangs and my voice was a roar as I started to call out to her.

Before I could summon words from the depth of the growl that rumbled in my chest…everything…stopped moving.

"I'm not Tanya!" Bella's eyes met mine. Her tears made the heavens crash into hell.

She knew.

I started backing away slowly, still unable to take my eyes from her.

_Bella knew_.

It was all over.

*

BPOV

I hid my face in my hands when the tears came.

Furious, hurt, aching. Everything crashed down on me hard and fast.

I was standing in the parking lot, trapped between a jeep and Edward and cars on two other sides. Before I crumbled, Edward had been backing away from me, appalled and afraid of the behavior that shocked even me.

"Bella!" I heard a woman cry out, alarmed and sad.

I sobbed harder. _What was it with me and parking lots?_

"It's Alice, Bella," she said gently, placing her hands on my shoulders. My first instinct was to shrug them off and I hissed through my tears. My hands moved enough to fall into her green eyes.

"It's okay, I won't hurt you." Her hold was firm and refusing to release me. "You have blood on your face, is it from your hand?"

I nodded through my tears and collapsed against Alice's hold, falling in against her without even thinking of what I was doing.

She wrapped herself around me like a protective blanket.

"You got her?" I heard another, husky voice ask. Alice must have answered because then, he did. "Alright, I'll go get him."

Footfalls moved further away from me. I nestled myself into Alice's shoulder. I felt so weak.

We sank to the ground but she never let go of me.

"It's alright, Bella," Alice cooed gently against my ear. "He didn't mean for this to happen. But this isn't about him, it's about you."

I let free a cry so deep, my lungs started to hurt. I must have sounded like a wounded animal. It would have been right, I felt like one.

She must have held me there for an eternity and her hand gently slid into my hair, petting me like a frightened kitten. I don't know if it was Alice herself or the scent of sun and sand and lilacs but the tears started to abate and recede like an angry flood that had already done its worst.

"There, there," she whispered gently and placed her hands over mine, her touch light on my right . "We very well can't stay here on the ground and you're in no shape for going to class right now."

I looked up and into her eyes. I had become a phantom of my former anger. There was only pain now.

"What do you say we go get some coffee and blow off next period? We are already late, what's one more class?"

I felt like a small child, unable to pull myself together. Something in me snapped and I was afraid it would never come back together again.

I couldn't speak. Instead, I nodded and looked down the car-created alley of the parking lot where I had lost my mind. Edward and Emmett were gone. I watched Alice rise up gracefully and offer her smaller hands down to me.

She led me to the passenger side of the jeep and closed the door. Alice rejoined me a moment later, placing herself behind the steering wheel.

I let my head fall back against the window, staring out and at the silver Volvo. The first pitter-patter of rain started to assail the ground.

My eyes were on his car. Only one mantra in my head.

_Why did he do this to me?_

*

EPOV

Alice was out of the jeep before Emmett.

My twin went to her, gently touching Bella in all the ways I wanted to. Giving the reassurance I would have given my right arm to bestow.

I was taking small steps back, shaking my head at the realizations that washed over me.

_I wanted to go to her. Seeing her in pain made my fucking heart clench. I caused it. I wasn't the martyr or the hero, I was the bad guy. She must think I used her. Bella probably won't ever let me touch her again._

The insanity that started with the ache at being away from her, spiraled out of control. My arm braced against my stomach. It physically hurt, transcended from the intense need to be near her…and the fear I never would be again.

"Edward, wait up." Emmett gathered up my books, calling out to me. I knew he was approaching when he came between my sight of Bella and Alice making an intense connection. "What the fuck is going on?"

I couldn't respond. Words wouldn't form.

"Hey, Bro!" Emmett crossed the distance between us, stuffing my books in my hands. I cradled them to me out of instinct alone. He was still as he stood just off of my side, baseball cap flipped backwards. "Lucy, you got some s'plaining to do."

"_Now's not the fucking time, Emmett!",_ I choked on my breath. Pensive, intense blue eyes held mine. There was no escape.

"She knows," I managed a response that sounded like a strangled cry. "Everything is over, Emm. Everything."

"Calm down, Edward." His hand clasped my shoulder. I shrugged it off, not wanting comfort. I _deserved_ this. I had it coming to me. I wanted to wallow in it. But Emmett persisted and grasped my shoulders, shaking me back to reality.

I tore my eyes from Bella. Everyone of her tears that fell onto the gently rain-sprinkling asphalt was a dagger in my heart.

I broke her. I broke _us_.

I looked into Emmett's big blue eyes. There was no pity, only a profound understanding I always believed well beyond my brothers' capability.

"We have to get you out of here," Emmett said, gripping the muscle of my shoulder hard. I winced. I was still and I couldn't move. "Is she worth fighting for, bro?"

I felt my head bow, the only energy I had to show him I meant, 'yes'.

"Then we have to get your head straight and clear," Emmett forced me to turn, with his massive strength and immense paw over my shoulder. "This is a chick at the edge, man. We'll strategize, we'll make it right."

I dropped my books down to brace between my hip and forearm. I gave another look over my shoulder as Emmett started leading me away. I could see Bella and Alice on the ground. My body tensed and I wanted to go to her.

"Your toxic to her right now, Bro." Emmett gathered my neck in his massive arm, tugging me close to him. It prevented me from moving away and it was brother-intimate. "Let's go inside and work it out, alright?"

It hurt to move away from Bella. Physically. Spiritually. Mentally. PMS. Again. I think I understood the plight of a woman on her monthly cycle.

I nodded and gave one last look over my shoulder. I stopped and Emmett stopped with me.

"Bella," I whispered, too loud to be ignored.

"I know man, I know," Emmett sighed. "Come on."

.

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**A/N2**: Brits23 The most glorious soul to crash through my universe. Please check out her work: Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/ .

Be on the look out for a new Twilight Fanfiction from Brits23.…"Laid Bare"…a Vampward fic that is dangerously sexy…./drools.

Join us on the Twilighted Forums for Breaking Trinity! We are the Covenant of the Snarl! Link is in my author profile.

My Sistah-Covenant of the Snarl members you are the anchor that holds me to the land, through the worst hurricane…It's finally here, the storm has made landfall…HOLD ME!!

LambCullen--Thank you for being my personal cheerleader, a smile maker and goddess of benevolence and faith. Snarls for you BB! MWAH! Xoxoxoxox

To the Twitterazzi: I heart you all so hard. Every kind tweet dries one of Bella's tears.

Next Update scheduled for _Saturday, November 21, 2009_ approximately 6pm (I will be out of the area for the NM Event, forgive the delay).

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	16. Fortune's Fool

Disclaimer1: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity© is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright"--misuse, plagiarism (in whole or part), unauthorized translation, reproduction or otherwise unethical publication without the express written consent of the author of this intellectual property is forbidden. If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for a fast point of reference.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!!

* * *

Chapter 15: Fortune's Fool

*

BPOV

I was laid bare.

Before the eyes of his sister, Alice…I crumbled. I had nothing but tears and pain and betrayal lingering through every sob. _How could he do this to me? _

My tears could have filled a river.

From Forks High all the way into the Town center, I shivered and wracked and silently begged for relief. I could feel Alice's hand squeezing my knee softly as she drove the massively spacious jeep that belonged to Emmett. With each gentle heave of my shoulders and aching tear ducts, Alice let me know she was there.

What had I done to deserve her kindness?

Was she this way to all of Edward's second-place-winners?

"Bella," Alice said softly and shifted the car in park. "I am going to run inside and get us some coffee, will you be alright for a moment?"

I nodded. She smelled like sun and sand and lilacs.

Her emerald eyes were so like his. They had to be twins. I had no other explanation.

I nodded a second time, but Alice still looked unconvinced. I had no energy left to speak and give her the confirmations she wanted.

Everything I had inside of me, I left in a psychotic display in the parking lot at the High school.

I hoped I could keep it together and not defile the Starbucks lot, too. I seemed to have a vendetta against asphalt.

"Alright," she said softly. Drawing her hood up, Alice stepped out of the jeep and set her pocketbook on the seat. She rifled through it quickly and grabbed her wallet. Her eyes lingered on me for a moment, so soft…so expressive. Her emerald gaze spoke the words her lips hesitated to say.

I diverted my attention. The pain was too real.

It was raining gently. The storm had finally come.

"Let me give you some money towards coffee, it's the least I can do." My voice sounded foreign, broken and distorted. I started to reach into my side pocket but Alice had her hand gently on my forearm before I could protest.

"Bella, please. _Let_ me." She made it sound like the entire world hinged on my simple acceptance. I just had no will to fight.

I closed my eyes and sank into myself, barely acknowledging the shutting of the door and the quiet jeep all around me. The gentle patter of cold rain filled my senses, every pelt on the windscreen was resounding like an explosion through my world.

My thoughts drifted to Riley.

"_So, do you think you'll like Forks? I mean on a permanent basis?" His voice was soft and questioning but never invasive. I liked the way he spoke, the rhythm and tenor of New York at every inflection._

"_Well, I know Charlie and Jess are both pretty excited to have me there but I don't know, Riley. It's kind of a one horse town." I tried to smile but it fell too fast to be considered genuine. I needed to change the subject before I started crying again. _

_I was really doing it. I was leaving Phoenix behind._

"_So, how did you get out of detention?" I asked, lifting my water bottle and taking a fast pull. The incline we were walking was not too steep. This was less like a hike and more like a stroll. I wondered what it would be like to be immersed in woods and trees instead of sand and scrub._

"_I didn't," Riley laughed, removing the bandana from around his jean belt loop. He uncapped his Poland Spring bottle and dumped some water on the material. "I kinda cut detention. And don't give me that look, it's your last afternoon out and about, I had to at least see you off."_

_Riley recapped his bottle and drew the bandana to his forehead, wetting down every place the sun scorched. It was in vain, the heat evaporated the streaks of water that touched his skin before there could ever be relief._

"_You're already grounded, your parents will kill you," I shook my head. He was in deep with his family for fighting at school, even for as worthy of a cause as it had been. I never had someone stand up for me. I thought chivalry was dead. _

_As it turned out--chivalry had after school detention for thirty-days and no chance of parole from the barbed wire fences of parental boot-camp._

"_It's worth it," he laughed, slinging the bandana around his neck and letting it hang there. "Besides, it's not every day I get to defend a damsel in distress."_

"_Are you sure you're from New York?" I chuckled. It was the best I could manage. Everything I had ever heard about New York was crime and violence and freakish. But if a rose can bloom in the desert, I guess one could push up through the concrete streets of the urban jungle._

"_The accent doesn't give it away?" His shoulder pushed against mine, teasing me into a more playful smirk. Riley had been looking out for me, going out of his way to make sure I didn't run into 'them' if at all possible. He called it reconnaissance, I called it friendship._

"_Alright maybe a little, but only when you say _coffee_." No true New Yorker could manage to say that word without giving away their true birthright. I pushed my shoulder back against his. I wasn't going to miss Arizona…or so I swore to myself. But maybe that was hasty. _

_We spent the rest of the short time we had--talking. It was over too soon. We exchanged numbers and email addresses. We made promises to keep in touch._

"_I don't know when I'll get the cell or my internet back but soon as I do, I'll keep you posted," Riley spoke softly, leaning against my mother's car. She was using Phil's until I was out of the way._

"_I'll be waiting for it," I said. I hated goodbyes. "Thank you again for being a stand-up guy…"_

"_You're too good to be true, Bells," he said with a hazel-eyed and wistful look. "Guys like James don't deserve to get close enough to you to break your heart."_

_Awkward silence. The truth always made me quiet. "Yeah, well, after this I don't think I will have to worry about it. Can't break a heart that doesn't work, right?"_

"_Don't say that," Riley sighed. It sounded like the wings of a morning dove beating on humid air. Comforting, disturbing. "You're gonna rebound from this. Good things are coming in Forks, Bells. Just don't forget about me, alright?"_

_I nodded. The tears were already threatening to spill over. _

"_Promise me you'll hook up with your friend Jacob when you get back. Guy sounds decent. And since I can't be there to keep an eye on you, I officially pass the mantle over to him, alright?" Riley smiled and lifted the bandana from around his neck._

_I was about to protest and declare how little I needed a guy in my life, friend or otherwise, when Riley closed the distance between us and slid the bandana around my neck. I looked up at him with wide eyes._

"_Passing the mantle," he smiled. Sadly. "Make sure you give this to Jacob." _

_When he hugged me, it felt like…goodbye._

I wiped my eyes of the sudden memory. I wondered if I was "out of sight, out of mind" with Riley now.

I heard a vibration in the car and looked first to Alice's open pocketbook. I could see her cell phone but it remained quiet, no indicator light flashing on the Blackberry that peeked just over the rim of the zipper.

It had to be mine. And that made me realize that somehow, Alice had gathered up my things in the brief span of my getting into the car and her following. I looked around the front seat and into the back. Sure enough, my messenger bag was thrumming like a heartbeat, just out of my reach.

I leaned up on my knees and drew the Velcro pocket of the bag open, grabbing my outdated phone. One new text message.

_Where the hell are you? --Jess._

I winced. Of course Jess would be wondering where I was. If the roles were reversed, I would have been wondering where she was as well. I couldn't say that I blamed her.

My fingers came alive over the keys. I forced myself to be as accurate as possible with my right hand half out of commission.

_I dropped a glass_ and cut myself. _Going to be at school soon.--Bella_

It was the lie I had concocted from behind the steering wheel of my truck. I was much more effective at fabrication when I wasn't face to face with someone.

I flipped my phone closed and leaned back in Emmett's jeep. It was clean and comfortable…but all I could smell was Alice and that odd mixture that reminded me of…Edward. God damn, would this craving for him ever go away? Even now, I felt this invisible force gnawing at me…aching for him.

The one who wronged me. The one who made me remember what it was like to be used and broken and bleeding all over the place.

My phone shivered in my hand.

_OMFG! I totally thought you were cutting class or mad at me! W/E! I'll wait for you in lunch.--Jess._

I shook my head, feeling my brows knit together. How could I be mad at my best friend for bringing the truth into the light?

That was when I realized my truck was still in the parking lot of the school. I had to do some damage control before any other word leaked out.

_I drove in this morning but the cut didn't close. Got a ride from Alice Cullen. She's going to bring me back.--Bella_.

I shut my eyes and waited for the inevitable fall out. My phone lit up just as the "sent message" indicator flashed over the small screen.

_ZOMFG! EDWARD CULLEN JUST ASKED FOR YOUR PHONE NUMBER!! WTF IS THAT ABOUT?_-_-Jess_.

I gasped for breath, tightening my hold on my stupid phone--desperate to wring the truth out of it. _Please God, don't tell me she gave it to him!_

I started to text her a reply when another alert reached my inbox. The message I was writing went to "draft" and my shaking fingers scrolled down to "new messages".

_Your with his sister, that explainz it! Gah Bella! I totally had HF! First time EFC ever said a word to me! Fuck-hawt!--Jess._

I swallowed hard.

_Don't tell me you gave it to him---he can call his own sister and leave me out of it--Bella._

I rolled my eyes, forcing myself to take a steely breath. EFC--as Jess had abbreviated. Edward-Fucking-Cullen had my Arizona-area-code-mobile number. This couldn't be good. No. Not at all.

Guess it was time for a new cell phone and a new number. No time like the present, right?

I glanced up and out of the windscreen. I could see Alice through the grey-bright light of Forks Towne-Proper. She was making her way toward the exit of the Starbucks with two drinks bound in a carrying case.

My phone came alive and I jumped, completely dazed for a moment.

_Of course I gave it to him! Duh! Said his sisters phone was off. EFC--smells so good up close. Totally fainting! Hurry up!!--Jess._

My lip curled and a God-awful low-growling sound came out of my mouth. I lifted my bandaged hand to my lips, hiding behind my shaking fingers. Shock. Awe. Fear. _What was that noise? It couldn't have been me?_

I jolted as Alice opened the door, her wallet between her teeth and her hand clutching two large coffees in a carrying case. I reached over and pulled her purse from the seat, laying it on the dash. My fingers outstretched for the parcel and she handed it over to me slowly.

"Edward," His name left my lips somewhere between a prayer and a curse, "is trying to reach you. Your phone is off."

Emerald eyes held mine. "Thank you Bella. At least you didn't scream when you said his name. That has to be a step in the right direction?"

I shook my head and said nothing as Alice crawled into the front seat, closing the door hard behind her. Her petite hand reached for her pocketbook, pulling it to her lap. In a second she had her Blackberry out of the confines, holding the button to power the beast on.

I drew the lid back on my coffee and turned to Alice. "Thank you, for the coffee and…well, everything."

Emerald eyes sparkled at me. "Bella, _I_ should be thanking _you_."

I was already dense. What was one more foot over the threshold of crazy? "What do you mean?" I looked absently at my Venti caramel macchiato, waiting for her answer.

That was when my phone, out of nowhere, came to life.

This time, it wasn't a text message from Jess.

_Unidentified caller._

But I knew exactly who it was. From the look in her eyes, Alice did too.

*

EPOV

I could still hear her screams.

I was haunted and angry and feeling a little unsure of what the hell had just happened. My gut hurt. I ached, craved, needed Bella and she was off somewhere with my sister, out of my reach. I didn't know what to mentally attack first, which feeling to override and which to prioritize. I was confused, disorganized and ready to hunch over and lose my hastily eaten breakfast.

I had to speak to Bella. I needed to set things right. That meant finding Alice and tracking down my sister was like trying to chase the wind. The girl could be everywhere and nowhere when she wasn't looking to be found.

I speed dialed Alice from my Crackberry, ignoring the thirty-six text messages flashing through my in-box. My sister's phone rang once and went straight to voice mail. So, I tried again. Same damn thing.

Fuck, I could feel a migraine coming on. I pinched the bridge of my nose and let my head fall back against the brick wall on the side of the school.

I was God damn falling apart.

"How you holding up, lil brother?" Emmett asked, watching me contort through a myriad of pains--physically and mentally. Every wall I had built for my own defense was crashing down around my ears. The sound was deafening.

"I want her," I growled, exhaling sharply. "I fucking want her and Alice is with her and she won't pick up her God-damn phone."

"Let me try," Emmett offered. The Blackberry was in his hand in a flash. The three of us had the same damn phone. His was red, mine blue, Alice's in yellow. Fucking primary colors.

He must have had it in speakerphone. I could hear the ring and the voice mail pick up. "This is Alice…"

Emmett killed the message and started trolling through his phone. "Nah, her phone is either off or lost or she's ignoring both of us."

"Fucking great, Emm. Just fucking great." I kicked at the brick wall with my boot as I leaned back. I wanted to unleash the unholy fervor of my fists on the mortar.

"Um, bro? Why do I have text messages from Tanya? How the hell did she get my number?" Emmett cast a glance up at me, expecting some kind of answer.

"Probably your girl. Same school right?" I tried to control my breathing. _First, Tanya calls Carlisle and now she is texting Emmett. This shit has to stop. And it needs to end now. _

"Bullshit, Rosie hates everyone, especially your girl," Emm stated, matter-of-factly.

"She's not my fucking girl," I growled, my lip shivering into a sneer. That was it, the decision was made. It couldn't wait until tonight. No matter what I owed Tanya, I had to break this off now.

"What are you doing, Edward?" Emmett knew me too well. "You're gonna break up with her on the phone? Just like that?"

I found her number in my contact list. I realized now that I had never added Tanya to my speed dial. Like that wasn't foreshadowing enough. I was about to hit send and looked up at Emmett. "Fine, I'll drive up there now and pick her up from school. I can be to Port and back in under two hours."

"Don't use that nasty tone with me, it doesn't soak my panties when you play the prick," Emmett warned, his voice low and deep.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do? For Christ-sake, Emmett!" I turned and punched the brick wall behind me in frustration. Repeatedly. Curled fingers struck again and again until I felt the flesh at my knuckles open--but I just didn't care. I wanted them to break, like my defenses and my soul and everything else around me.

I deserved the pain but I didn't feel it. I screamed like an animal snared by a hunter but the rage outside did nothing to calm the anger and hatred inside.

Emmett pulled me back from the wall, his hand over my bleeding knuckles. I fought against him, thrashing my head back but he must have anticipated it and had his face tilted to the side of my shoulder.

"Fucking calm down, Edward. Jesus!" His voice was strained and tight as he held me in place. I wanted to smash the fucking world into rubble because everything in my life was in ruins.

"I fucking want her, Em. I fucking need her!" The words broke from my lips like a sob. Everything was out of control. From the shattering of her doe-ful eyes to the screams I could still hear in the back of my head. There was nothing for me here.

"Calm down, bro. I can't let you go until your right." Emmett kept his voice even and soft and it must have been one hell of a strain to do it. I stopped fighting and trying to get away. My hand hurt and I could smell blood.

_If I licked it, would it taste like her?_

God, I was so fucking sick. All I could think of was my teeth in Bella's neck and the taste of her in my throat….and suddenly I didn't want to waste a drop of my own useless life. It might have been the one drip that carried _her_ in my bloodstream.

"I'm calm, let me go." I sounded convincing enough. Emm released his hold on me and I shrugged my jacket back into place. I was still clutching my Crackberry in my left hand.

"Seriously man, you need to get this shit out of your system. It can't be healthy." He readjusted his backwards baseball cap, drawing in a shaking breath. I must have been fighting against him with some unknown brute strength for him to be out of air.

I snickered at my own insanity and clamped my phone between my lips. With my left hand free, I drew out my pair of leather gloves. They weren't very warm but they were stylish as fuck and great when driving and grasping the cold steering wheel of my car. For now they would serve as a bandage for my wall-abused knuckles.

I found the right glove and slid it over the broken skin of my right hand, my lips curling around my phone at the pain. I fucking liked it. _I deserved it_. I should've tried to break the brick wall with my head.

Once I had myself righted, I took the phone out of my lips and opened the inbox to Tanya's messages. Emmett was pacing. I could hear him on speaker phone trying to reach Alice. Yeah, he was starting to fucking understand now, wasn't he?

I growled as I scanned the inbox, pausing on only a few of the plethora of messages. Alright, Emm had a point and it was starting to sink in. But these little nuggets from Tanya were really starting to get under my skin.

_Baby--Tell me what I did wrong? You want to fuck? I can be there in an hour?--Tanya_

_You know what, your not that great of a fuck anyway--your too rough. I think your sick, Edward. You need help.--T_

_Baby, I didn't mean it. I could learn to play like you want it, really. I'm so worried. Please call me tonight. Please help me get to sleep--Tanya_

_Nevermind. Fuck you. You're a shitty boyfriend.--T_

_Thanks for the scars, Edward. You are the worst thing that ever happened to me.--unsigned._

I had enough. I hit reply on the last message.

I started to laugh. Not the giddy-happy laugh at a raunchy joke or someone getting punched in the nuts. No, this was a breathy, hysterical laugh. The last vestige of my mind just--snapped.

_I'm calling at 9pm.—EC _

I realized Emmett was still watching me. "Might want to put that other glove on before people start wondering just how fucking crazy _you are_. The King of Pop, _you are not_."

I snickered and pocketed my phone. I put the other leather glove on and I could feel the stickiness on the right as my fingers flexed. Drying blood popped over skin where it had congealed.

I thought about Bella. About going to her truck and seeing if the doors were locked. Seeing if I could get a fresh hit off her scent. That would calm me. Well, it would calm _parts_ of me while giving my dick a raging hard-on. I would have to beat off before blue-balls set in.

"You want Bella--bad, Edward?" Emmett said out of the blue and my head jerked up to him. Shit-eating grin was plastered over his lips.

"What the fuck are you prattling on about?" I asked harshly. He shouldn't be dangling a God damn steak in front of a hungry animal. My brother might be bigger and stronger than me but unlike him--I couldn't stop myself in a fight. The last guy I fucked up for laying his hands on my sister was a legend around this school. My fucking temper was dangerous and right now, I had a tenuous grip on my control.

Emmett's chin pressed him into a nod. "Here comes her best friend, heading our way across the quad."

Jessica Stanley.

If I was born a Viper, I would feel the venom pooling in my mouth. I swallowed back an acrid taste and cast a sideways glance at her. Her fingers were moving furiously over the keypad of her cell phone.

Was she texting Bella? Or some random guy she had blown over the weekend? The bitch had a reputation for bedpost notches. She had been trying to get into my pants since I enrolled in this God-forsaken school.

"If you want to get the girl, you gotta go through the right channels."

_Shit, he was onto something_. If I couldn't get a hold of Alice…why not cut out the middle-man?

I'll tell you a good reason why. I couldn't prove it, but I was sure it was Jessica Stanley that told Bella I had a girlfriend. Not only was she Laurent's cousin but she was privy to more information about me because of his connection to Tanya.

_Swallow your pride, Cullen._

It was putrid and vile but I _knew_ I had to speak to Jessica. She had the digits I was desperate to get. She was my only God-damn hope.

I ran my gloved hand through my hair and tried to put on my most winning-Edward-Cullen smile. I licked my lips and exhaled a deep breath, making myself look saner than I felt.

_Bella. I would do this to get to Bella. I would crawl on my hands and knees on broken glass to get to her right now. _

Jessica huddled in her coat, texting as she moved quickly through the quad. I stepped into her path, taking out my own phone like a prop. While I waited and formed the plan, I redialed Alice. I could hear her voice mail message again. Shit.

I was resolved. This was the only way.

Jessica brushed into me as she walked, not paying a lick of attention while she beat feet closer to the parking lot. I almost wondered why she was on her way there. Was she meeting Bella or was it for some random shit…like mouthwash for a blowjob that left a bad taste between classes?

"What the----," Jessica began and nearly choked on her own words as she looked up and met the intensity of my eyes. "Edward…I am sorry, I--I didn't see you."

Jessica blushed a bright shade of red. She smelled like apples and linen. Not a bad scent. But not something that would have ever struck me as important.

"You know, texting and stuff," Jessica giggled, turning even redder. I suppose she would have been pretty up-close, if she didn't try so hard to be. Bella had a natural beauty. Jessica was a brush stroke created by Covergirl or Clinique or something Alice would have been better able to pinpoint.

"The fault is mine, Jessica," I gave her my most dazzling smile. But it wasn't her face I saw. No, it was the porcelain ivory that shivered beneath dark mahogany hair that I envisioned. "You must be talented, if you're walking and texting at the same time. I can barely manage it standing still."

I was fucking smooth. I had to be. For Bella.

"I am sure you can do a lot of things while standing up," Jessica said, pulling her lip between her teeth and chewing slowly. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know exactly what she was thinking.

In my reality, I could picture Bella up against the wall with her legs over my hips, clawing and scratching and hissing while I gave it to her hard. My breathing hitched.

"Maybe a few things." I must have still been wearing my smile. I could smell her and I wanted to instantly shut off my breathing. "Hey, it must be fate that I ran into you. I'm trying to get a hold of Bella…"

Her expression instantly soured. Jealousy lit her features, twisting her from almost pretty to half demonic. "Why are you trying to reach Bella?"

Jessica took her eyes from me and started to type furiously. I could hear the angry accents of her keypunches. "I'm sorry?" I stalled for time. _What would I tell her?_

"Why do you need to reach Bella?" Her voice was condescending. I narrowed my eyes as she pressed send. I swear she must have been texting Bella.

"Well, I just need to get in touch with her." I recovered the stumble I first felt coming out of my lips. Shit, I was losing it fast. "My sister is with her and Alice's phone is off. Emmett and I are worried." _Nice fucking recovery._

Jessica looked up and relief passed over her features. She looked half human again. "Oh, right because of the accident with Bella and the glass! That was pretty nice of Alice to bring Bella to the hospital!"

So--Jessica didn't know about Bella and me. The secret was kept. My heart sank and I felt the blood rushing through my ears.

Bella kept my trust. Even after I broke her, she went against her own instincts to talk about it with her best friend and….

…._she lied_. Dear-fucking-god. How deep did my corruption go? Bella had lied for _me._

She knew what Jess was to Laurent and that meant she also knew that Tanya was his best friend. Jesus-Tap-Dancing-Christ. I was the worst person to ever step foot on the earth.

I jolted when Jessica took my hand and drew my sleeve up my forearm, a pen cap tucked into her teeth. Her touch wasn't unpleasant but rather…unexpected. Her dark blue eyes gazed up at me and she withdrew, leaving Bella's phone number behind on my skin. For some ridiculous reason I had an urge to get it tattooed on my skin so I would never forget it.

But for now, recording it into my cell had to do the trick. "Thanks, Jessica." I mumbled and watched the sleeve of my jacket and underlying sweater begin to overtake the writing.

"Anything else I can do for you, Edward?" Jessica recapped the pen. I thought I heard Emmett chuckle in the background.

I flashed my smile again. "No, but thank you."

Jessica swayed and mumbled something incoherent about two smiles. I really didn't give a shit. I had what I wanted, cruel as it might sound.

"You're welcome," she preened. "I'm just going to my car to get a book, I--forgot it. Okay, bye…Edward!"

I nodded, holding my smile in place. My face hurt from the falseness of it.

She moved away from me fast and I realized that for her, time was ticking between classes. I could see her texting again and looking back over at me.

"Fucking smooth, bro," Emmett laughed. "She practically wet herself."

I didn't feel like making fun. I knew Emmett hadn't meant it that way. He was more marveling at my effect on women. But none of them mattered.

_I wanted Bella._

I lifted my sleeve and started typing in the number Jess left on my arm. It was an out of state area code. It must have been Arizona, where Bella had come to Washington from.

I lifted my cell and looked over at Emmett.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Edward? She's gonna be fighting you like an angry mountain lion." I could hear the warning in his voice.

But there was no other choice. I had to hear her voice.

On the first ring, I started pacing.

By the second ring, I was pinching my nose and pacing.

On the third ring, I contemplated smashing my phone while pinching my nose and pacing.

By the fourth ring, she answered.

*

BPOV

"Hello," I said, weakly. I was shaking and Alice had her hand on my knee. I could see her booting her phone up.

"Bella. Please don't hang up." I heard his voice, breathy and anguished and rightfully God damn so. I wanted to hang up. I wanted to throw my phone on the ground and ask Alice to run over it with Emmett's jeep. But there was only the sound of his vapid breathing in my ear. I felt chills slide under my skin.

"We have nothing to talk about. You never should have gotten my number. It's over, Edward," I closed my eyes. My voice was somewhere between pathetic and defeated and angry and heated. Hearing him made the agony that rolled through me something I couldn't ignore. I curled up, hugging my knee to my chest.

Silence.

When his voice broke through it, he sounded tormented and frantic.

"I can't explain it, but I need you Bella. I need you so _fucking badly _that I can't think straight. I'm outta my fucking head--"

The moment I could hear him try to reign in his wild breath--an ache built inside of me, threatening to flood over the dam I had created to hold it back. I hated myself. I didn't want this pain.

I just wanted _him_.

Here. Now. Tomorrow. The day after that.

I couldn't be….

_Oh my god. It can't be true….._

I closed myself off completely and shut down any further feelings. I banished the tide of need and want---even sympathy for Edward.

_He broke you without a shred of decency or regret. He withheld from you. He tricked you into becoming what you hate the most…_

I put my chin up and did the only thing I could to make him burn in agony--just like I was. I lied. For my own survival I had to sever this connection….

"I don't even know who you are, Cullen. I can't--I can't do this!" I shrieked and clipped the phone closed, pressing my head against my cell.

The dam was broken. The last of my reserves crumbled.

The tears started. I heaved.

The Venti Macchiato barely survived my grip.

"Emmett, I have to go." Alice tossed her cell on the dash and reached for me. "Bella--you knew it was him. Why…tell me why you picked it up?"

"I--I--want him---Alice---even now," I gasped and shrieked and cried into her soft, cashmere shoulder. "---I want him…and--and I hate him…and I hate my--self for it."

"Why Bella?" she cooed softly, patting my hair.

I gave myself to _sun and sand and lilacs_. I breathed her in and cried even harder. My eyes were already aching. My soul was already shattered. There was no dignity for the damned.

"He--cheated on her--just--like--James," my eyes rolled in the back of my head. I felt too tired, too weak to say another word.

She pet my hair softly and held my wracking shoulders.

Alice Cullen _knewexactly_ what I meant without asking for elaboration.

I made my confession about Phoenix and James and the world I had left to come here.

But it wasn't complete until I admitted the final truth.

I hated myself. I hated him because nowI understood. This was never something that was meant to be. It wasn't fate or two-halves of a whole.

Edward Cullen had no heart.

He could never be with me--

He would never feel the same.

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A/N2: **_Brits23_ My Lady-Muse in shining armor! How oft has she saved me from committing heinous acts of SnarlFail? A dozen! This chapter alone! MUAHAHAHAHAH. **

Please, show her some love with her amazing fics: Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/.

Also, be on the look out for **_"_Laid Bare**" a new fic by the extremely talented **_Brits23_. Snarlward Tested, Panty-Approved.**

To The Covenant of the Snarl--never have a group of people come together with so much love and devotion. Not just for the fiction but for each other. I thank you all for being my Sistahs'…for taking care of me when the chips were down.

LambCullen, PimpmasterL--This incredible author of Tilt and Tides has been Snarlwards personal cheerleader and a MommaCullen to me. Big Kisses to you Lambie!!

Special thanks to the TwitterPervarati! Luvin you all, hardcore.

****

LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST:

I've been knocked down with Pneumonia and I am still regaining my strength. Please bear with me and be patient over the course of the next week as I try to reply to reviews, a few at a time.

If you would like to see teasers, discuss the story and characters or just come by for a hello, be sure to visit The Breaking Trinity Thread on Twilighted. The link is my Profile! Make sure to snag a Covenant of the Snarl blinkie on pg 98 while you're there!

__

If you are/or know an author/site who has recc'd Breaking Trinity, please let me know! I would love to give some luv to the fantastic persons involved! Make sure to include a link if you can!

Next update is scheduled for November 28th 2009, approximately 2pm EST.

Click the Button. Reviews…get you the chance to see Edward-start-Stalking….

(forgive any errors you may see, formatting was being extremely difficult)


	17. The Vicious cycle turns

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity 2009 is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright"--If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details. Do not post, copy, translate or distribute this fic --in whole or part --without my permission. PM Copyright is not a violation of Terms of Service.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

**~~~)BeWary(~~~**

Chapter 16: the vicious cycle turns

*

EPOV

_I don't even know who you are, Cullen. I can't--I can't do this._

I pressed my phone against my forehead and shut my eyes so tightly I could see stars. I was shaking. My body was rebelling against me, caving to the craving only the sound of her voice could create.

I lost her. _My Bella_.

I clutched my Crackberry with tight, leather gloved fingers and fought the need to smash it into pieces against the wall. I couldn't destroy it. In a single moment my phone had become a holy relic, the last thing that had connected me to her.

_It can't be the last time_.

I wanted to roar. I wanted to be loud enough for the world to hear my insanity breaking over me like jagged rocks and endless waves.

_You make me sick…_

I exhaled a painful breath and pressed my phone into my pocket, withdrawing my car keys. For a flash of a second I stared at them in my palm, the Volvo insignia gleaming brightly through my mind.

_I'm going to get her back._

"Bro," Emmett's voice was low and warning. "What are you doing?"

I turned around slowly, a sickeningly sad smile falling over my lips. "I'm going to get her back."

My brother set his books down at his feet and took a cautionary step toward me. "Edward…"

"Emmett," I replied through my teeth. He wasn't going to stop me. _No one was_. Not Alice or Tanya or Carlisle and Esme. Not even Bella herself.

"You've got a crazy look in your eye, bro." Emmett drew his hands up in an offering of peace while he took another step toward me. "Think about this Edward…"

"I'm through thinking about it, Emm," I growled low and deep and watched my brother's eyes widen at the sound. "I'm done being rational and penitent. I want her."

"Listen to yourself, man. Seriously," he said more forcefully and my hands balled up into fists. "I'm pretty sure the last thing she wants right now is _you_."

"Fuck you," I snarled, sizing my brother up for a very real show down. He didn't know what he was talking about. Bella wanted me, needed me as much as I needed her. _She just didn't realize it yet._

"Don't do this, Edward. You both need time to think this through. If you fuck up now there won't be any coming back from it." He tried to sound calm but I could see the chords of his neck tensed and ready.

"You're not going to fucking stop me," I invited the challenge, craved it. But not nearly as much as I craved her.

"I will if I have to, Bro. Don't take us down this path." Emmett was close enough for me to see the adrenaline rush in his body, the shaking of limbs as he tightened himself to stand imposingly before me. "Do this for her. Give her a chance, who the fuck knows what her past history is, Edward. For all you know some guy fucked her and left her…"

Someone touching my Bella. Hands on her skin, lips on her body, fevered breaths against her mouth. _No_--I couldn't fucking take the anger that pushed up inside of me. I dropped my keys and lunged at Emmett, my leather-clad knuckles landing him hard in the jaw.

Emmett was strong but I was fast as a fucking cheetah against his size. He staggered back and started to lose his balance, trying to dodge the ferocity of my strikes. I roared like a beast against the cage, feeling the bars finally give way.

A fist slammed into my gut, making me reel back and double over from the sheer force of it. My ribcage heaved and my breath was gone. I straightened myself and made another attempt. David versus Goliath, this fucker was going down.

Emmett swept my legs from under me. No matter how fast I was I couldn't fight him off balance. I crashed to the concrete and he covered me over, pinning my arms to the cement and straddling my chest. His knees held my shoulders into the ground.

"Fuck, Edward! Stop it!" Emmett groaned, his lip pulsing red with droplets of blood. My punches had connected, hard. I pushed one hand free and grabbed for his throat.

Emmett encircled my neck with his hand and I bucked forward, trying to throw him off of me. _Fuck him. Fuck this. Fuck everything!_

I gasped and I felt his fingers loosen but he didn't withdraw completely.

"Listen to me, Edward!" He growled, apparently primal sounds ran in the family.

"I'll turn that pretty face black and blue if you don't stop being a fucking asshole." Emmett's words were serious, steeped in an adrenaline frenzy that only fueled me on. "Get control of yourself. If you can't fucking man-up for yourself, than do it for Bella. You think she wanted this? Some asshole cheating on his girlfriend with her? You fucking broke her and now you want to be broken? If that's the case, I got ya covered."

I stopped pushing against him as the words sank in.

I started to laugh.

Not the happy-sound that seldom left my lips but a maniacal-selfish-insanity-induced chortle that made my body heave reflexively. It was like crying through a smile minus the tears.

Emmett slid off of me, eyeing me down like I had finally lost my mind.

He was right, I had.

I wasn't sure how long I had lain on the concrete, laughing in such a sickening way. But like sobbing, I felt it ebb slowly under Emmett's watchful gaze.

He paced like a bear on a salmon hunt, instinct guiding him to never take his eyes from me. He texted with one hand, barely paying attention to the keys. No doubt it was Alice or perhaps Rosalie he reached out for. Emotional shit was not Emmett's strength.

When I finally quieted, he came to stand over me, offering a hand to help me up. His dark eyes were somewhere between worry and anger, understanding and ignorance. When I braced his forearm to help myself stand, I felt the sharp pain of his gut-check ricochet through my body.

_Damn, he hit hard. _

It had been a decade since my brother and I tussled and it wasn't even close to being like this. I was starting to gain control of myself and I knew my gut just couldn't take another punch like that if I lost it like a pussy, again.

I still needed Bella. Still wanted to go to her. But for now, Emmett was right. She needed time and so did I.

It hurt like hell to realize that.

I leaned down and scooped my keys from the concrete. Emm was giving me a wary look. I drew up my jacket sleeve just enough to see my watch peeking over the edge of my gloves.

"Forty-five minutes till the next bell rings, I need to go clear my head," I said, biting back the growl that rumbled through my chest. Emmett was doing his best to protect me from myself but I needed some time alone.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid, bro," Emm said in the most untrusting voice I had ever heard. Was I really that far gone?

Probably, yes.

"I'm not taking off. I just need to get my shit straight," I inhaled slowly, trying to calm my ragged breathing. As much as I wanted to get in my car and fly off toward Forks Towne-Proper in hot pursuit of Bella--I knew Emm was right. I had to give her time. How much, I didn't know.

I wasn't a patient guy. But she was worth waiting for.

Emmett nodded and I walked off, desperate to find some calm. I knew his eyes were following me so I veered between the cars in the parking lot, anxious to catch my breath.

_What was I going to do? _

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I walked toward my car, pressing my books into my hip. Everything was so fucked up and out of my control. I had no idea…

_Tangerine. Honey._

I jerked my head up, taking rapid draughts of air. _Bella, where was my Bella?_

The red truck was before me. I had criss-crossed over toward it in my attempts to flee Emmett's line of sight.

The driver side window was slightly open and her heavenly scent tormented me from the confines of old leather. I couldn't get enough. I sniffed the air until my face was practically pressed against the rolled-down glass.

Waves of calm and desire washed over me. I was hard instantly and I felt my body throb with life and hope. No matter how insane I might have been moments ago, I was right again.

In my brief moment of clarity, I knew I had to make us whole. I couldn't live without this, without her.

It didn't matter if it had been two days that I had known her. Or two lifetimes I had no memory of.

I wanted Isabella Swan.

I would stop at nothing until she was mine.

**

BPOV

I was back at the place it had all come undone. Forks High School.

An ice cold Venti Macchiato and three hours later, I was still in Emmett's jeep. We were parked on the outskirts of the lot and Alice had her cell phone in her hand. She was texting furiously.

I really hoped she had a plan to get us into the school unnoticed. The last thing I needed was a phone call to Charlie telling him I had skipped my morning classes.

How was I going to make it through the day--let alone the front door?

_We can do this Bella. We have to._

I was worried about facing everyone. Not only from the questioning eyes that would be all over my freshly re-wrapped hand--which Alice had done as professionally as any doctor or nurse--there was more.

I was scared.

What happened if I broke down? What happened if Edward looked at me or brushed passed me or tried to talk to me? Would I run screaming from the area? Would I fall to the ground like the weak, wretched husk of a soul I had become? Would I challenge him and expose this secret war to the world?

I closed my eyes tight enough to see stars behind the lids. I tried to focus on my breathing, timing it in key clicks to Alice and her texting frenzy. It wasn't working.

I was getting desperate to distract myself from the agony swirling through my fevered brain. I raked my left hand through my hair and opened my eyes.

I looked away from the dashboard focal-point that had been a calm, non verbal center for me to fixate on. For the first time since we had arrived back at the parking lot--I took _in_ the _outside_ world.

That was when I realized what had been practically staring me in the face for the past fifteen minutes…

Stupid. Shiny. Silver. Volvo.

In an instant I was torn. I wanted to put my _fist _through the windshield. I wanted to write my name in _keystrokes_ on his hood.

I wanted to press myself against the window of the driver's side--just for one scent of him. _Sun. Sand. His leathery cured musk._

I was a junkie going through the stages of withdrawal, longing for and hating Edward like the fix he was. I wanted his marks…like tracks, all over my body and my soul. Again. _Now_.

I can't stand it! Make it stop! It hurts!

_God damn. You're pathetic._

I know--I'm sorry….

I heard Alice laugh and I jolted, clutching my knees to my chest even tighter than before. I was covered in guilt and confusion and shame for my thoughts. Both sets of them.

"I swear Bella, Emmett is brilliant," Alice tried to reign in her enthusiasm. Her eyes softened as she looked at me. I wondered if she could see my anger and my craving mix together like a sickly-sweet-scented paste. "Bella are you alright?"

"Yeah, I--um," my eyes flicked instantly to the silver Volvo and then back to Emmett's dashboard. "I was just wondering how we are going to get into the school without being noticed."

"You were thinking of Edward," Alice said gently, smoothing a lock of hair behind my shoulder as I shook my head vigorously to deny it. I turned my eyes to hers, not really sure what to say when I saw the odd quirk and angle of her brow.

_What was she….oh…_

Alice could see the mark that covered my neck and shoulder and I instantly pulled the lock of hair back in place, defensively. _I didn't want to be reminded of his touch, his teeth, the blissful agony of our bodies writhing together…._

I cleared my throat.

"Did Emmett have a suggestion, about sneaking in, unseen?" I asked, playing with the tips of my fingers that jutted free from the gauze wrapping. I could still feel the heat of her dark green eyes on me. _Eyes so like his…_

"Oh, shit. Right!" Alice lifted her phone and looked at the time. "We have to move toward the front of the school, like now…shit-shit-shit!"

I stammered into movement like a startled toddler being awoken from a dream. I looked to Alice as she scrambled out and slammed the door behind her. _What the hell was I missing?_

She was waiting for me around the backside of the jeep and double tapped the alarm. "Bella," Alice placed her arm around mine, ushering me closer and faster toward the front of the school.

_Were we really just going to walk right in there?_

"I know the last guy you were with hurt you, Bella" Alice kept her eyes straight ahead but spoke fast enough that I couldn't wrap my head around her words quick enough to interrupt her. "And you don't have to listen to a word I am saying but for yourself, for Edward--just let him explain. Please, hear him out--before it's too late."

"Too late?" I had no idea what she could have possibly meant but her words were grave, cryptic and her hand was tight around my forearm. Why had she waited until now to spring this on me…we had three hours…

…_and why the hell were we walking so damn fast!_

"Trust in me, Bella--even if you don't know it yet, we are going to be great friends." Alice and I suddenly stopped and she turned to me and smiled.

That was when I heard it. .

The Fire Alarm.

My eyes widened, "Emmett?"

Alice produced her Blackberry from her coat pocket and smiled crookedly. "Three of us out here, one of us on the inside--we take good care of each other."

_Three of us? Did that mean Edward was…?_

As the double front doors of the school burst open and the first students poured out toward the parking lot--my eyes were on the pale, almost ghostly vision trudging with heavy boots through the damp of the earth.

By thinking his name, I felt like I summoned his ghost.

Edward was walking out from behind the school, making his way from the line of the forest. He was a vision so beautiful, so haunting--for a single second I forgot the injury he had inflicted upon me and the lack of honor he had shown to his girlfriend. _His girlfriend…_

I clenched my teeth.

Alice grabbed me by the arm again and pulled me toward the throng of assembling bodies, camouflaging us instantly as though we had been among the first out of the school.

The sirens of the fire trucks were already breaking through the distance and that meant…Charlie would not be far behind. _Great._

Even with all the jostling of students filling up the parking lot, screwing around and being generally normal--all I could see was the verdant green of his eyes. I felt rooted in place and he was getting closer.

My fingers curled into fists at my side and I could feel my breathing start to shiver past my lips. I was angry and dazzled at the same time. I felt like two different people.

_Sun. Sand. Edward's leathery musk._

The wind brought his scent to me and I wanted to rush to him--cutting across an ocean of bodies to throw myself into his arms.

I could see him so much clearer now.

Edward was coming toward me with stalking slow purpose--his back straight and predatory with emerald eyes focused solely on me. The wind rustled through his wild bronze hair and the collar of his black coat was popped against his neck.

Edwards lips were parted and I could see his nostrils flare, tasting me on the air--scenting my nearness. His black leather gloved hands formed into fists and flexed free. He was craving--just the same as I…he was so intense, so feral…his mouth wrapped around my name.

_Bella_. His tongue lapped the air as though it were my skin. I started to shiver.

_Run!_

I could hear my inner self commanding it--but I didn't understand. Run away? Run toward? Run around screaming like I was on fire?

"Bella, go find your friends," Alice called out, waving her hand around above her head when she saw Edward coming toward me. I heard her but I couldn't take my eyes away from him.

He knocked some random guy out of the way and didn't bother to attempt politeness about it.

_Bella. _His lip curled into a sneer of pure lust and desire. A vision of him--inside of me--above me--wringing my cries from my mouth…

My eyes narrowed in anger and my body flushed with need.

"You have to go." Alice tugged at my arm and I blinked my rapidly, starting to back away.

"Don't back away, go to the side…toward the front," Alice spoke hurriedly. There was something about her eyes that were strangely mired. She began to move toward her brother, cutting through the thick crowd to get to him.

_She was going to intercept him_. To her, Edward must have looked…frightening. The primal desire in his darkening eyes was clear only to me. He wanted me, here and now…and he didn't give a damn what the consequences were.

I was shaking. Furious and eager.

I turned to find where Alice had gone, swallowed in a sea of bodies. I managed to locate her hand, still in the air--her rings glinting like a dorsal fin--a dolphin thwarting the shark.

_Stop it, Bella. Don't look at him. Go find everyone…._

Emmett came out of the double doors with the last rush of people and took off toward Edward and Alice like he had radar. Or maybe a new, urgent text message?

I clutched my injured hand to my chest and adjusted my haversack. I slipped between my classmates and toward the front of the parking lot. I stumbled more than once but managed to catch myself before catastrophe.

I knew I was getting close when I heard cat-calls and whistles start to grow louder.

Tyler. I spotted him instantly and I made eye contact with him the moment Lauren slapped him hard enough on the arm to make him bellow. She glared at me but this time, I didn't look down.

I stared the bitch right in the face….and a shrill and angry breath exhaled deep passed my lips...

_Oh God, I didn't mean to….wait…did I just…hiss at her?_

…the fire-trucks rolled in and behind the second one was Charlie's police cruiser.

"What the fuck?" Lauren's voice was swallowed by the sirens. She backed away, tugging Tyler toward her by the arm. Wasn't she coy? A second ago she punished him for paying someone else attention but now, she felt like she needed defending. _Interesting._

"Bella!" Jessica shouted out, cupping her hands around her mouth. She pushed through Lauren as she continued to back up. Her eyes fell to my tightly clutched, mummy-white hand. "Oh my God, girl what are we going to do with you?"

When I looked at Jess, with her pretty wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes, I felt myself go all watery. The weight of the past several days stretched me too thin and I had finally sapped the last of my reserves.

The loud sirens quieted down but the lights were still flashing. I looked around quickly to see if Edward had followed me. Instead, I found Charlie--dressed in full fishing gear and his Policeman's jacket. He was either just on his way to the Rez…or just coming back. I could never tell.

Charlie gave a cursory look around the student body assembled in the parking lot. After a long second, he started up the front stairs to the double doors where the firefighters had already entered.

_Great_. It was a matter of time before he started to look for me--or for one of my teachers to ask where I was last seen exiting the building. _Shit, what if he found out I had ditched morning classes?_

I wasn't sure how much more I could take. Of anything. Everything. Karma must have had a vendetta against me.

"You know, it would figure some idiot would rock a fire alarm on my lunch period. Why couldn't it be during calc or some shit?" Jess rolled her eyes and tried to make me smile. It almost worked, my lips twitched--sort of. "So, how is your hand doing?"

"It hurts a little," I kept my face as stoic as possible.

"Bella, your back--we were so worried about you!" I heard Angela, her adorable face sliding alongside of Jessica's shoulder. Her eyes were wide with genuine excitement. "No stitches or anything right?"

"Not a one," I said truthfully. I could have used a few between each of the three middle knuckles. But I wasn't going to give away the real reason Alice and I ended up together and out of classes.

"Wow you're really lucky!" Angela smiled. "One of my younger brothers climbed up on the sink one morning and knocked down a glass that was near the Tupperware cookie jar. Next thing I knew, my parents replaced every last drinking vessel with plastic!"

Jess laughed. "Bella, you're as dangerous as a four year old, it's totally true."

She meant it to be an endearment but I saw it as anything but. Jess pulled me toward her with her arm around my shoulder. I realized she was leading me away from everyone else with very purposeful steps. She wanted Best Friend time. If that's what we still were.

With the fingers that were draped over me, she waved to Mike Newton and his face went all goofy. But his eyes were on me. I was pretty sure she noticed, her tongue clicked against her teeth like a viper.

"I totally have to fill you in on all this Edward-Cullen-Time I had this morning. Oh God, if you become the reason I totally have babies with this man, I swear to you I will worship the ground you walk on!" She giggled and rested the side of her head against mine so adoringly.

I felt the blood drain out of my face--in abject horror and complete stupid rage. I wanted to shove Jessica off of me and scream the truth. I wanted to watch my words slap her pretty face--to bear my marks to her and finger over them with pure lustful abandon.

_You can't have Edward Cullen. _

_He's mine. _

_I am his._

The pure wrongness of that sentiment made me feel a chill run down my spine. Edward belonged to Tanya. I was all alone. There was nothing more between us than the exchange of warm fluids and sexual sounds that belonged on Animal Planet.

I inhaled sharply, realizing she was still speaking and we had finally stopped moving. We remained intimately bound together. She must have felt the flutter in my heart and the roiling of my gut.

"…He was totally staring me down like eye-candy. I swear it felt like he was looking at me naked even with my clothes on!" Jessica finally started to peel herself off of me. "So, I totally think he wasn't even looking at you during lunch yesterday--he was completely eye-fucking me and using you as a shield till he had the courage to talk to me!"

"Are you serious?" _Or just delusional?_

Jess slid her hands on her hips, staring me down like Nobility to the indentured-gentry. "Um, well can you give me a better explanation, Bella? I'd like to hear you try!"

_He used you to get to me. And you fell for it, short and simple._

I knew I couldn't say that. I would lose Jess and be outcast to some freakish-friendless-shadow that haunted the halls behind them. Banished from the sunny warmth of lunch room tables and long talks.

"I thought he has a girlfriend?" I managed in a much smaller voice than I wanted to use. I was cornered.

A light seemed to go on behind Jessica's eyes. "Oh my God, here I thought you doubted my ability to get with some EFC!" She swaggered her head side to side. It was very unbecoming.

"No--I just--I mean he has a girlfriend, Tanya right?" Just saying her name made me drown in guilt. I was coveting her man like the a living, breathing Golden Calf.

"Well she isn't my problem. If she can't keep him satisfied, I sure as hell will fill her shoes. No second guessing or questions asked," Jess smiled, thinking obviously I was concerned for her.

"And what if she found out?" I played along, wondering why Jess made it sound so damn easy to discard another woman's claim and emotions on a man. It violated the unspoken rule of sisterhood. I knew that first hand, and now from both angles.

"So what if she did?" Jess was fixing herself up for a gigantic whine. I could hear it in her breathy voice. "God, Bella…why are you being such a downer!"

_Right on cue, there it was._

"Maybe because I've been Tanya?" I shook my head and quirked my brow. How fast she forgot what things she had said to help me through the fiasco that is James. I banked my sanity and my soul on those words of encouragement and motivation--I trusted her.

I was slowly starting to realize, it was all bullshit now.

Didn't anyone truly give a shit about anyone else, anymore? Was it always about the need and greed…selfish and self centered, instant gratification and screw the other guy mentality?

There had to be some 'human' left in 'humanity'. Somewhere.

"Well, Bells…I mean it was different…you know, the whole James thing," Jess was stuttering. A stealthy-cat had just snuck out of the shadows and stolen her tongue.

"Why was it different, because it happened to me, your best friend?" I admit it, I was wagging the finger. Something I swore I would never do to her.

"Fuck, Bella!" Jess let out a groan. She had no idea what to say to get out of this one. "I've wanted to nail this guy even longer than I started wetting myself over Mike. I mean, it's kind of a second best scenario. Why can't you just tell me you're happy for me?"

Her deep blue eyes looked anguished. She was telling me everything she needed to hear with her lacquered, batting lashes. She wanted me to be selfless. She wanted me to be supportive.

Jessica was asking me, in unspoken terms, to re-solidify that we were best friends.

So, I did just as she asked. And I knew at that moment, we weren't sisters-of-the-soul, anymore. We were empty titles, no better than the broken-half-heart-necklace-friends. We didn't need the charms to remind us…but we did need the words and the lie.

"If EFC is what you want," I sighed. What a ridiculous abbreviation. What an insane conversation. I was staggering so hard to say the rest. "Then…."

"Bella! Jessica!" Mike and Eric were calling out to us and waving their arms in the air to get our attention.

Divine intervention. If they were close enough, I might have hugged them both.

Jess turned toward them and rolled her eyes. Her voice was drained and irritated. "False Alarm, we're clear!"

"Of course," she muttered and looked back to me. This time, her eyes were much softer and even a little defeated by humility. "Can we spend some time together this afternoon? I miss my best friend."

"Sure, why don't you come over after school?" I softened my stance too. But the hard-line was carved into my psyche now. Everything I ever feared about Jess as my best friend was all true.

"I have errands to run, but what about, like after six? Is that cool?" Jess and I started in an easy pace with each other, back toward the school. I kept my eyes on the ground, lost in thought.

"Yeah that should be fine," I snapped out of the fog. "That's right, my dad's best friend is coming over with his son to look at my truck--Charlie goes to work at five for the overnight."

"Even better, I'll bring the drinks," Jess must have sprouted fairy wings because suddenly she was flying and practically glittering all over the place. She ran ahead to catch up with Mike and the rest of the gang. Lauren and Tyler were still nowhere to be seen.

I tagged along, a bit further back than the rest. Jess flitted ahead to Angela with some more obvious gloating on her encounter with Edward that I would have to endure later.

"Hey, you alright? You look like you've gotten the wind knocked out of you?" Mike said with a smile, saddling up and alongside of me.

"Oh, hey Mike," I nodded. "I'm fine, really. Just going to skip the rest of lunch and head to class." I said absently, once again playing with the tips of my fingers on my wrapped up hand.

"Well, come on--we can both get there early," he bumped his shoulder gently against mine. "When Jess told me you were coming back for lunch, I got you something…"

I paused, looking up at his light baby-blue eyes like he had six pairs of them. "Huh?"

Mike slid his hand into his one-shoulder pack and withdrew a gleaming red can of Coke. Maybe he would turn out to be a good friend after all. "That was really nice of you Mike!"

"It wasn't nice, it was selfish. I did it to see you smile…and it worked," he winked at me like some kind of crafty Casanova and handed over the still-chilled can. It was actually a pretty kind statement if I didn't look deeper into the meaning behind it.

So, smile I did. A little more fake than I wanted to give but it was what he needed most at that moment so I could at least make his day better--while mine continued to spiral into shit.

Mike and I made our way up the stairs toward the double doors. I was barely listening to a word he was saying, something about growing up in California and surfing at age ten…

"Isabella Marie Swan," That voice jolted me the hell awake, fast.

Charlie.

"Dad", I gasped.

"Chief Swan!" Mike said with the utmost respect, nodding his head like he was acknowledging a King. Though I suppose it couldn't hurt to kiss ass if you were a boy under eighteen who liked to drive fast. What guy didn't like to drive fast, was more like it?

"Mr. Newton," Charlie said, in full Officer voice.

"I-uh-I am going to wait for you, right here, Bella," Mike gulped and stepped a good distance away from me.

"Dad, I don't know who pulled the alarm," I said, trying to buffer the inevitable question before everyone in the school thought I was some kind of snitch. No one knew that I did actually know…but the longer we stood here the more incredulous it looked.

"I know that, Isabella. You would have had to be in school this morning to know that information." Oh, that tone. An Officer and an angry parent, rolled up into one insidious voice.

Oh. Shit. Busted.

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A/N: My devotional:

**~~)The Time has come!(~~~**

Brits23 (http://www(dot)fan fiction(dot)net/u/1849726/), My Friend, my Beta, my Other half. If you haven't read: Show and Don't Tell http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4951259/1/ and Show and Don't Tell, Uncle EPOV http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5143570/1/ --now is the time to catch up.

**THEN THERE WAS BITEY aka VAMPWARD!**

I am pwned. Worshipping on the alter of pure lust. _Add this woman and read this fic I beg you_. Brand new, Ground-Floor-_Snarlward-fucking-approved_. Ditch the undergarments now---you'll need to be "Bare" for this.

_Laid Bare by Brits_23_

AU-Vampfic...ExB... lemons, lemons, intense need and angst.

Bella's life was divided into day and night. Daddy's girl with a heart of

gold and sexy vixen with a dirty mouth and a mischievous gleam in her eye. Life

as she knew it ceased to exist when Edward Cullen moved to town. Unexplained

need...unadulterated lust...she just couldn't get enough

_"I exploded with life the second his teeth broke my skin--it ached and _

_yet it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I wanted him to ravage me until my flesh _

_was torn to pieces and my bones were withered to dust. He owned me, claimed me, _

_and I begged him to take me...just surrender control and take me."_

Edward was obscured in a lifetime of solitude. A defective vampire

deserved nothing more. Impotent venom and a lackluster need for blood made his

existence empty and futile--he never craved, never desired, never

_burned_--until he met her.

_"There weren't enough moments to touch her body. Not enough minutes _

_spent speaking her name and basking in the scent of my very salvation. She was _

_an angel of mercy the whitest lace of light. My teeth sunk into silken flesh. I _

_drank her, sating the thirst that ran soul and skin deep. She was _

_mine."_

Story Link: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/

**Send Brit's a Review on this awesome work. A Happy Beta for Breaking Trinity=More SNARLS!**

Forum Link: Yes, I have started a thread on twilighted(dot)net. Visit us and bask in the darkness and lemony angst of this incredible work.

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**~~~)Singwithme(~~~**

_Special Shout-Outs!_

1. Snarls to BlueCanoe who has been pimping Breaking Trinity! Luv you!

http://robert-pattinson(dot)ca/2009/11/22/twismut-sunday-the-blessing-the-curse/comments

2. Snarls to HopelessRomantic on the Robsten Love fansite! Thank you for pimpin!!

**~~~)Vitae(~~~**

1. To the Covenant of the Snarl--my sistahs, you are the glory that writes the story. I heart you with all I have. Please visit us on the twilighted(dot)net thread dedicated to Breaking Trinity as found in my profile.

2. LambCullen, Sexy-sugah-momma-MWAH! Glory drips from the fingertips of this vixen-diva! Share the love and visit her works. http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1793852/

3. My Beloved "Bara" ~ a new Twilight author with an original Twifiction. Stop by and say hello to the delicious new man in my life. Oh yes, he snarls _and_ writes. Melt with me at: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5505812/1/Shadows_And_Dust

4. To the Twitterazzi: Every Tweet gets Snarlward closer to a new set of ice-pink-lace-panties. /wink wink

**~~~)ExtraExtra(~~~**

Have you seen someone Rec or review Breaking Trinity? PM me (with a link if possible)and let me know! The Gospel of Snarl is waiting to hear from you!

Next Update: December 5, 2009 approximately 12N EST.

Click the Button and Review…next week, the return of Snarlward!


	18. The vicious cycle turns……and Burns

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright. If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 17: (The vicious cycle turns…)…and Burns.

*

BPOV

_Dad, I don't know who pulled the alarm…._

_I know that, Isabella. You would have had to be in school this morning to _know_ that information._

Charlie's words replayed in my mind while I stood there unmoving and desperately trying to read my fate in his eyes. Oh, yeah. I was beyond busted. The question remained, how did he know and what would happen now?

"Dad…" I started slowly, planning my area of attack.

"Isabella, don't say another word. Mrs. Cope already filled me in." Charlie folded his hands over his chest, ignoring the students that walked passed us as he appraised me with a mixture of disappointment and anger. "You're in enough trouble, already."

All I knew about Mrs. Cope was that she was a part of the administration. An older woman who had been in the school system since my parents went to class here.

It only made sense that Charlie would have gone directly to the Main office to get the scoop on the alarm while the firefighters did a sweep and clear on the building. It didn't take much to put two and two together on the conversation from there.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I wanted to cry or scream or start throwing my books in the hallway until Karma noticed me again; and forgave me for whatever it was I had done in my last life to deserve this day.

"I don't even get a chance to explain?" I fought hard to stop myself from rolling my eyes. "Not even a benefit of the doubt?"

"It's not going to change your fate any, kiddo. You lied to me," Charlie said, his brow as smooth and unmoving as stone.

"Lied to you?" I said that a little louder than either of us expected. Even Mike Newton looked over at me uneasily from his safe-respectable distance away.

"Omission is it's own lie, Bells." Charlie hardened his jaw. "All you had to do was tell me you weren't up for going in this morning and I would've been fine with that. Hell, even a phone call when you got here and I would have told you to come home."

I said nothing as I adjusted my haversack on my shoulder and stared at my fingertips peeking out--all pink and raw from the cold--beneath the white gauze.

"You could have come to me," he said. I looked up and Charlie had his eyes on my hand. "What's going on with you and this Edward Cullen?"

"Dad!" I reared back, looking from side to side to see if anyone could have overheard the name that slid past his lips. "You can't say things like that around here, I'll get eaten alive!"

As students moved through the hall they only cast Charlie and I cursory glances, still excited and gossiping about the impromptu fire-alarm.

"You owe me some answers, Bells. Plain as that," Charlie said through tight lips. "We'll discuss this at home."

"Fine," I said with a heavy sigh, giving him an incredulous look. _How much worse could this day get?_

I turned to leave and I heard the ruffling of Charlie's jacket as he uncrossed his arms. "You're to come right home after school, your grounded until I say otherwise."

"Grounded? Great." That was _my_ answer for tempting fate with a question. Things could _always_ get worse and at this moment, being on lockdown just knocked me back one wrung on the ladder closer to hell.

I sighed and made my way to Mike on the other side of the hallway. He lifted his backpack from its resting place on the floor by his feet. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," I said, unconvincingly. It wasn't like I could tell him that Charlie had caught me cutting morning classes. I was _supposed_ to be at the hospital with Alice all morning--at least, that was the lie. So, what father wouldn't know that about his own daughter?

Mike rubbed the back of his neck and tilted his head toward me as we walked toward Biology. We were going to be pretty early for class. "Am I gonna have to get you something bigger and better than a soda to make you smile again?"

I had completely forgotten about the can of coke I had stuffed in my haversack. It was a nice gesture on Mike's part and now that I thought about it, I _was _pretty thirsty. Maybe there was more to him than what I had seen so far.

"No, Mike--really, that's okay," I feigned half-heartedly.

We covered the rest of the short distance to class, cutting through the maze of hallways I was still trying to memorize. It was nice to have a tour-guide of sorts, not that I was really paying attention to the one-sided conversation.

Between the events of the morning, lack of sleep and thoughts of Edward-- Of Jessica…I just didn't have enough room on my plate to handle the idea of being grounded by Charlie. I'd never been under restriction before. I could only imagine what it would entail. Or lack thereof.

It wasn't like I was going to have much of a life--walking around half-dead, anyway.

Mike stepped into Mr. Banner's class first and flipped the lights on. The place was devoid of human life. Microscopes were set up on every black lab table along with a set of slides. It was obvious Mr. Banner wanted to put into practice the stages of Mitosis we had covered in the movie-period yesterday. I had already done this lab in Phoenix with Whitefish Blastula…

And that was when it hit me.

Movie-period yesterday….

_Oh, God._

I flushed as I stepped into the room behind Mike, my eyes falling over the table I shared with Edward. Just yesterday…we had done unspeakable things in this dark room with our hands…joined and stroking all over his incredible hard length.

I bit the edge of my lip and a small hiss of breath left my mouth. Edward had felt so good, shaking and growling and arching his hips into our hands….

_He_ was going to be in class with me. Unavoidable lab partners, locked together in misery and shame.

Why hadn't I thought this far ahead? Why hadn't I gone home with Charlie when I had the chance?

_I can't do this. I can't sit next to him for an entire class period!_

I wanted to cry. I wanted to run. I had to be anywhere but here.

_We will do this, Bella. We have to face the monster head on._

I stumbled as I moved toward the lab table and dropped my books onto the ebony surface.

"Bella, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." Mike left his books on his desk and came over to mine. He drew up the lab stool from the table just before the one I occupied and sat down, facing me.

"Is--is this class--assigned seating?" I bit my lip. _Please say no! Please say no!_

"Pretty much, yeah. You got the last seat this class had. The rest of us have been with our lab partners since the beginning of the school year," Mike leaned forward, studying me. "Is Cullen bothering you or something, Bella?" He arched his brow. He was more perceptive than I gave him credit for.

_Shit. A whole class period--next to Edward Cullen._

"No--no, I just…I don't know," I worried my lip harder and fumbled with my haversack, unable to flip the clip with my shaking fingers. I coughed nervously, feeling my throat want to close. My body was exhausted. It finally had enough of the anxiety and stress I had put it through.

"Here, let me help." Mike opened the latch to my knapsack and slid out the can of coke I had hidden in the confines. He tapped the aluminum top a few times and pulled back the tab, handing it to me. "Take a drink."

"Thank you," I nodded and cupped my hands around the still cool, red can. I coughed again just before I took a mouthful and Mike gently rubbed my forearm.

"Look if Cullen or anyone else gives you a problem, you let me know alright?" he smiled through stern looking eyes.

I swallowed hard, clearing my throat.

_Breathe, Bella._

After a moment of sharp, acidic glory I looked up into Mike's big, kind eyes. I shivered violently enough to nearly toss his hand off of my forearm.

_Sun. Sand._

There in the peripheral, my eyes caught up with the scent that invaded and owned me.

Edward Cullen was standing in the doorway….

*

EPOV

I would never lay a hand on my sister.

But at that moment, I _almost_ wanted to. I wanted to push past her nimble little body and continue on my path. She was the only road block that stood in the way of finally claiming what was _mine_.

_Bella._

No more bullshit and hiding--no more pain and anger. Bella had been in my grasp, mesmerized and rooted in place. The scent of her lingered, torturing me with proximity.

If only I had been able to side-step my twin….

"Edward," Alice pressed her palms flat against my chest, forcing me to face reality in the here and now. My eyes blazed down into hers, swirling with desire and insanity and a craving for skin that went beyond the normal realm.

"Alice," I growled, narrowing my eyes. "Get out of my way." I meant every word of it.

"Talk to me." She pushed against me gently, her gaze wide and almost innocent. I knew better than to fall for it. "Please?"

"There's nothing to talk about," I continued to scan the area for Bella. She was swallowed up by the throng of student bodies in the parking lot. I couldn't even get a scent of her.

The precious essence that called to me was awash in the midst of hygiene products and cheap-fucking-perfumes.

"Stop looking for her, Edward. She needs time. Bella's been through enough," she said loud enough to make me wince. Anger and pain mingled beneath my skin, renewing my determination to find her.

"I caused this, I can make it better. She fucking needs _me_, Alice," I hissed in desperation, my hands falling on my sisters' shoulders tightly. "And I need _her_."

"It's more complicated than you think," The agony in Alice's lowered voice made me tense instantly. "She's been…hurt before."

"What?" I said. Her words blinked me back into reality. "What do you mean?"

"We can't talk about it here, Edward." Alice had my full attention now and my hands slid off of her shoulders. "Too many ears to listen in on what I should tell you."

"You can't fucking do that to me," I growled so hard my chest rumbled. "What do you know?"

"Not here," she said firmly, drawing up onto her tip toes and peering over the crowd. I followed her eyes--Emmett was on his way over toward us and her hand shot upward like a fucking traffic beacon.

"Alice," I warned, running my hand frantically through my hair. I tried to reign myself in but I was failing miserably. What the fuck did my twin mean, _Bella had been hurt before?_ How? Who?

Fuck that, she couldn't leave me like this--more questions than answers.

I turned to Alice and Emmett was standing right beside me, a shit-eating grin plastered over his lips.

"Fuck, that was some shiesty shit!" He bellowed, obviously in a much better mood than I had left him in--less than an hour ago. "Flawless God damn execution!"

Emmett held his fist out for a _pound_ but all I could do was stone-set my jaw and look between he and Alice. Fucking co-conspirators.

My twin bumped him in my place.

They were both fucking devious and I had to give it to them, it was a damn air-tight plan they had managed to pull off. If it wasn't for the pre-emptive text messages I never would have known they were behind the impromptu fire alarm.

In a post nine-eleven world, they were playing with some serious shit by pulling off something so damn risky. Granted, it was a small High School in a Podunk Pacific Northwest town and no one was going Columbine but still--dangerous.

"So, baby bird flew out of the nest, I take it?" Emmett said, adjusting his baseball cap and arching a dark brow toward Alice.

"Yeah, she is safe and in the clutch," our sister replied with a clear of her throat.

"Your codes don't work when I am standing right fucking here," I sighed, closing my eyes tightly. _Breathe. _

_She's been hurt before…_

Alice's words were still haunting me and it was apparent I wasn't going to get any of the information out of her or Emmett until they deemed it necessary. But I had to try, one more fucking time.

"What do you know?" I growled so deep even Emmett stopped to look at me. His jovial smile fell flat and I could see my own psychotically rising irritation reflected in his eyes.

"Edward, I told you--not here!" Alice fought me like a champion. "I'm going to tell you everything--just wait till we are alone, tonight."

"Bull-fucking-shit!" Emm declared, narrowing his eyes. "I'm up to my asshole in this whole thing so you better make damn sure to include me in this little game of secrets."

"Fucking gossiping bitch," I felt the _snarl_ ready to rush out of my mouth and I bit it back hastily. _This fucking insanity had to stop_. I had to calm down. I would get my answers--I just had to wait. _Bella was worth it_. I could do it--or fucking die trying.

I turned and with a huff of unrequited aggravation. I made way toward my car, alone and grumbling under my breath about what kind of bullshit it was to be kept in the dark. I couldn't help myself--even with all of my faux-logic. Fucking Alice _knew something _about Bella and her past. Even though I was trying to hold myself together--It was eating me alive to have no fucking clue.

I heard Emmett calling after me and the footfalls of our sister following behind. I just needed to get my bearings--away from the both of them to figure out my next move.

"Just let him go," I heard Emmett in the distance. He was talking to Alice.

"But--he needs us," Her angsty whimper was fading as I made faster strides through the parking lot.

"Trust me on this one," our brother replied just as I left ear-shot.

They were both right, of course. But I had to get control of myself. Had I really de-evolved so sharply that I was ready to storm through the crowd and find Bella--drag her to me and make her mine, right there before the entire student body?

Yeah, I had gone caveman for a minute. It was enough to make my head spin. I was too fucking unstable for my own good.

_What was I before Bella had come along?_

My car alarm beeped as I shut it down and slid into the confines of sterile leather seats and solemn safety. I let my head fall back as I turned the battery onto auxiliary and let my fingers reach for the disc changer.

Chopin, Nocturne in E Minor--Opus 27.

I left it there and set it on repeat. The melancholy melody ripped through my custom sound system as alive as a concert hall--as moving as though I were playing it myself. It had been too long since my fingers had caressed the ivory keys. I had been without inspiration for months.

But now, I wanted to play. My fingers danced over the leather wrapped steering wheel as I let the music take me. Each tender stroke of the perfectly tuned Steinway in the main foyer of the Cullen house met me and I gave myself to the music.

_Bella was smiling on the bench beside me, her fathomless brown eyes watching the subtle motions of my fingers ghosting over the keys. I could see her shivering as she succumbed to the aching gentility of the music I created for her. Enraptured and sighing contentedly in a world of dulcet harmony, she was obliterated by the emotions I could evoke but never say in words. _

_Who has hurt you, my Bella? She doesn't answer me and instead, hides in the veil of silken dark hair._

_I can see the tears glittering like diamonds at the rim of her eyes._

_I'm so sorry…because I know it was me that broke you in half….._

The music calmed me, washing over me with visions of how Bella would turn to me and dry her tears. I could almost see the edge of her lips begin to form that captivating and unguarded smile that threw my world into frenzy.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

My brow furrowed. That didn't belong in the Opus….

**Tap. Tap. Tap.**

My eyes shot open and I nearly pulled my gloved hand back into a fist from the steering wheel. Serenity was broken….and dark, familiar eyes were glaring into my car.

_Bella? _

…_.no._

Chief Swan?

_What the fuck?_

I turned the auxiliary and removed the keys from the ignition. Chief Swan stepped back from my car and crossed his arms over his chest. Wait, was he wearing a fishing vest under his heavy jacket?

I stepped out of the vehicle and let my key-ring sit on my middle finger. _Shit. Was Emmett busted? _

"Chief Swan," I cleared my throat and shut the door behind me, doing my best to keep my voice neutral and surprised. Hell, it wasn't that far of a stretch, I was definitely not expecting this.

"Edward Cullen," he said in a purely authoritative tone. It wasn't much different from the last time he caught me lead-footing it down Route 101.

_Fuck_. I realized now that if it wasn't for his relationship to my father I probably would've had points on my license or even a revocation by now.

Yeah. I liked to speed. Fucking sue me.

"Yes sir," I took the safest posture I could. Straight back and eased shoulders. I God damn oozed respect. "Is there something wrong, sir?"

"That's what I am here to find out," he said blatantly as he surveyed me. "What's going on with you and my daughter?"

_Talk about cutting to the chase._

If I wasn't already pale, I might have given myself away. "Your daughter, Isabella? I'm not sure what you mean, sir?"

_What the fuck?_

Charlie hardened his eyes. "Let's not play any games here, Edward. I had a little chat with your father not ten-minutes ago. Concerned parent to concerned parent. Seems the good Doctor doesn't have any answers, either."

"I don't understand, Chief Swan," I feigned innocence. I didn't know what had gotten around or what information her father had gleaned about us. Going to Carlisle was a good move on his part--but luckily I hadn't even breathed Bella's name around him or Esme.

Chief Swan was glaring me down hard. He was waiting for me to divulge something or shift perceptively enough to confirm whatever suspicions he was holding. For all I knew he could have had a shit hand or a full house. He was hard to read with one hell of a poker face.

"I would gladly give you whatever answers I can but I'm afraid I don't know the questions you're asking, Chief Swan," I said in my most earnest tone. I had a damn air-tight poker face myself.

The Chief of Police muttered something under his breath about _damn_ _proper breeding _but he never took his eyes from mine. "My daughter is precious to me, Edward." I could see the intensity in his eyes that confirmed an intellect and underestimated strength I would never take for granted again.

"She's been in this town for just over a week and my daughter hates you." His eyes were like Bella's--questioning and shockingly fierce. She had mentioned me to him--and told her father that she _hated_ me.

My poker face fell. "She said that, about me?"

"I don't tend to get involved in teenage angst but Bella isn't the fanciful type. She doesn't say something unless she means it and not without provocation." I could hear the desperate undertone of his voice, wavering between concerned parent and questioning Officer.

"I'm sorry, Chief Swan," and I meant it but I knew he wouldn't understand just how painfully apologetic I really was. _I broke her._

"What's your level of involvement with my daughter, Edward?" Desperation was gone. He wanted satisfaction and he knew somewhere deep inside that I had all the answers.

_I fucking want her. I need her. In less than three God damn days she has taken over my entire world._

"We're lab partners in Biology," I said quickly, scampering to put my defensive walls back in place. I couldn't let him see through me. I couldn't let myself be disarmed. "Isabella and I have only one class together. Yesterday was her first day in school, right?"

Chief Swan arched his brow and looked at me like I was a complete idiot. I might have overdone it a little with that last bit that flew out of my mouth. "Yes, Edward. She just started school here yesterday. Aren't the Cullen kids some kind of elite around here? Aren't you supposed to know everything?"

He was like a blood-hound on the scent. "I'm sure some of the other students might feel that way, Sir."

"I was in high school once too, Edward. Don't forget that," He said with enough sarcasm to make me squirm. Yeah, old dog-old tricks. Officer Swan knew the game.

Silence. It was a waiting game. I heard his breath hitch--he was ready to continue.

_Finally._

"Nothing goes by in a small school and a small town without everyone knowing, Edward…" The Chief could taste blood. I had given too much by trying to make myself pristine and innocent.

"I suppose that is true, Chief Swan," I replied, remaining stone still and rooted in place.

"My daughter missed morning classes. According to Mrs. Cope, so did you and your sister, Alice. Your father wasn't aware of that Edward. Well, until our phone conversation, that is," he said with a blazing intensity. He was like a vulture circling the would-be-dead.

_Shit._

"It's rather personal, Chief Swan," I said autonomously. My mind was a jumble. I wanted to thrash and scream and break something.

"You know what's personal, Edward?" He closed in the distance between us. I could see the slight shimmer of grey mingled into his dark, well kempt hair. It even leaked into his trimmed moustache. "My daughter with a bandaged up hand, telling me she cut herself on broken glass that I couldn't find a trace of anywhere in my house."

_Had Bella tried to do something…bad to herself? No. She wouldn't--couldn't be the type?_

"And in the same breath, she tells me she hates you," Chief Swan continued, looking me dead in the eyes.

There was that word again. _Hate_. I felt like I was standing in quick-sand and I was sinking fast. Chief Swan's eye twitched and he pulled back slowly. He was on to something and he knew it.

"Stay away from my daughter, Edward," he said, adjusting his jacket as he started to turn. "And call your father, he wants to speak to you."

I watched Chief Swan walk off toward his cruiser, parked in front of the school. The fire trucks were gone and the parking lot was nearly empty of life.

_Fuck. Me._

I kicked the front tire of my car, my hands balling into fists. This was too much. A direct order to stay away from her by the Chief of Police of this whole damn town. The thought that Bella had done something to her hand, other than what she had lied to her father about--the knowledge that she hated me enough to say it to him and in no uncertain words.

I felt like I was drowning. Suddenly, rapidly, going under.

What little control I had over myself was about to fly out the window. I had to come clean to Carlisle and Esme. I had to break this shit off with Tanya.

I had to get Bella alone. I needed her breath on my skin, her tongue in my mouth and her body writhing and clamping tight around me until the fucking world birthed itself anew.

_Nothing was going to be right until Bella was mine._

I threw one arm over the roof of my car and dug my Crackberry out of my pocket. There was no sense in procrastinating the inevitable. I hit Carlisle's cell number on speed dial and listened to it ring.

It went to voicemail.

There must have been something important going on at the hospital--it was too late in the afternoon for rounds. I left him a message and reminded him about the physical form for baseball practice. I let him know I was going to class so my phone would be off.

Grabbing my books out of the passenger seat of my car, I double tapped the alarm and glanced at my watch. I was going to be early for class but suddenly that became its own advantage.

If I could get there before Bella, I _might_ have a chance of cornering her before she entered.

I could get her to agree to talk to me after school. Practice. Work. Tanya. Parents. _Shit_. I fucking hated my never ending schedule.

_Fuck it. I would find a way. _

I practically ran to class--tearing ass through the intersecting hallway on the way to Mr. Banner's room. The light was already on as I rounded the corner and stopped dead in the doorway.

_Tangerine. Honey._

Bella.

Fuck, she was beautiful even when she looked like hell. Her long dark hair hung in silk waves down her shoulders--spilling onto our lab table. Her hand reached for something. My eyes lingered on her bandaged hand.

That was when I realized someone else was in the room. With _my_ Bella.

Mike-Fucking-Newton was sitting and facing my girl, handing her a God damn red can of Coke. His posture was too friendly. He was too fucking close to what was _mine_.

_He was touching her._

"Look if Cullen or anyone else gives you a problem, you let me know alright?" Mike's condescending tone was my last straw. Everything I hated about myself, my life, my situation narrowed to one blonde-haired, blue eyed wanna-be surfer boy.

_And his mother-fucking-hand was on her forearm._

Bella looked up and shook so violently she might have fallen off of her stool. I couldn't meet her eyes, not yet. Not till this was dealt with.

**

BPOV

_Edward_.

There he stood. Wild bronze hair and smoldering jet black eyes. I could see his jaw harden, the tension coursing around his body in pure angry flames.

I dragged my arm out from Mike's touch and swallowed thickly. I couldn't form words. I couldn't take my eyes away from him.

"And what the _fuck_ are you going to do about it, Newton?" Edward growled and the primal sound of it shot up my spine and between my legs simultaneously. Both sensations were warring for dominance over my body.

_Hatred and lust. Anger and desire_.

Mike was up in a shot, kicking the stool away when he turned to face his nemesis. "Cullen." He said the name like a confirmation, his body going stiff.

"You were saying something, _Mikey_?" Edward murmured darkly, his tone condescending and mocking. He started closing in, stalking forward with like a shadow turned to flesh.

"Leave her alone," Newton rolled up his sleeves, widening his stance when he moved out into the aisle created between lab desks.

"No," Edward _snarled_.

I _hissed in response_--wanton and ready to give myself to him like my questioning-insanity never existed. Everything else was a bad dream--a nightmare. There was only Edward….and the craving that gnawed deep inside of my body, aching to be filled.

I was standing before I even realized what I was doing. Edward's eyes shifted, burning through me. Suddenly the entire world started to shimmer and fade and slowly disappear.

I gripped the desk for support and even Mike turned to look over his shoulder at me.

"Don't even fucking look at her," Edward growled.

"Both of you, please…don't," was all I could manage. I felt myself swaying and craving, desperate to remain standing and suddenly so unstable I couldn't tell what was ceiling from floor.

"Bella," His voice was the epitome of desperation. Edward reached for me, his books falling from his grip and fanning out on our lab table.

Mike pushed him back and everything happened too fast for me to register completely.

Edward lunged forward, pushing Mike against the desk. They struggled and went to the floor, cursing and swinging at each other. Amidst the hard packing meat sounds and chanting-fevered howls I could see Edward gaining the upper hand, straddling over Mike and pulling back his fist.

"Edward---Please!" I screamed out in a sudden desperation.

He stayed his fist.

In a flash of agility, bronze hair blurred and he was on his feet. Mike was up, nearly as fast. They exchanged deadly looks and I clutched my throat in shock and self-directed anger. _What had I done? What had I started?_

"This isn't over, Cullen," Mike brushed his mouth with his wrist, adjusting his clothes from the scuffle.

Edward ran his hand through his hair, licking his lip clean of blood. I could smell the copper and iron mix in the air around me. "Not by a fucking long shot, Newton."

Mike stood there, seething with anger but his eyes were gentle on me. I was flushed and overcome with guilt at what had just happened--what I had inspired in the both of them.

Everything I brought to their lives was destruction.

"Bella." Edward walked toward me, slow and purposeful. I could see the flecks of green returning to the black of his eyes. I shivered and gripped the desk, shaking my head--parting my lips to speak--but no words would come out.

_Sun. Sand. Edward's leathery musk._

The scent of him filled me, swirling like a haze around me. The tinge of his blood in the air made me lick along my lips.

He was getting closer and I started shaking my head more vigorously. I couldn't move, my body wouldn't listen….

I gasped a breath. _I hated him…Oh God…I needed him…._

"Bella." His warm breath fanned over my lips and my body tensed. My eyes were locked to his.

"Edward," I whimpered. I could taste the desperation of his name on my lips--begging for him to come closer and yet warning him to stay away. I felt like I couldn't breathe and as his fingers reached for me.

"Don't fucking touch her, Cullen," Mike spat, but Edward ignored him. I could hear Newton moving in behind him….

"Your mine," he said so softly and yet so powerfully. I could taste his nearness and I clutched the lab table for support. My body craved him and the heat pooling between my shaking thighs reminded me just how weak I was to this battle.

"No," I fought against myself, so close to the edge of my own sanity I swore I would lose myself forever for just one taste of his mouth.

Just as Mike reached for Edward and Edward reached for me…..I stepped back….fighting my own surrender…

"What is going on in here?" Mr. Banner barked, breaking the spell wound around the three of us. Behind him, students filled in raucously---I was in a complete state of upheaval.

I wanted to run. Scream. Hide. Beg. Cry.

Touch.

_Please God, help me._

"Mr. Cullen, Mr. Newton, Ms. Swan--I am addressing the living!" Mr. Banner threw his briefcase down on the desk.

"Nothing, Mr. Banner," Mike groaned, narrowing his eyes behind Edward and starting to walk away.

"I beg to differ, Mr. Banner. Asshole here may see nothing--but I am looking at everything in this whole fucking world that matters," Edward licked his lips hungrily, never removing his commandingly sinful eyes from me. My lips fell agape and I ducked down into my chair, letting my hair fall over my eyes.

I couldn't take one more second of his beauty, his dangerous sensual energy that suffocated me from the inside out. I wanted to hear him, groaning and snarling as he commanded my body beneath him--making me take him deep and hard--we hurt so good when we fit together.

I closed my eyes, hiding the hot flush of my cheeks in my hands and hair. I pressed the tips of my fingers into my face. I was burning alive.

_Fight this, Bella._

I had to be stronger. I couldn't give in.

"Language, Mr. Cullen. This is a class room, not the streets," Mr. Banner said with pure irritation. "Take your seat this instant."

I desperately tried to steel my breath as my eyes flew open, shocked at the tone Mr. Banner had used to address a student.

Edward turned, glaring over his shoulder to Mike. I could feel the tension that lingered between them and like a train wreck, my gaze fell on the both of them and couldn't turn away.

Edward took his seat next to me.

_Sun. Sand. Leathery Musk._

Under my skin, hatred and lust danced blindly into one solid form.

Green eyes were intent on me as though the rest of the world no longer existed.

I peered through the veil of my hair, shaking as I reached for my books and dragged them against me.

"I need you," Edward hissed. I could taste the agony and truth in his words.

I bit my lip, holding onto my last vestige of anger as though it was the only thing to keep me grounded in my own skin.

I didn't know how long it would hold but I was shaking and craving and more afraid than I had never been in my life.

What was happening to me?

_What was I going to do, now?_

.

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.

.

.

.

A/N ~~~)Luv(~~~

My Darling, Snarling Beta Brits23--WordMistress of all that is Glorious and Smut-tastic! My sister of the smut--a friend who is more like a sister than blood could ever be. Check out her latest fic! And just as a reminder (and don't say I didn't warn you) that you might want to be…bare for this.

Story Link: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/

1. To the Covenant, my sistah's of Snarl: Every word I write is with you in mind. I often think to myself, HMMM what are my gals gonna say about this one! Feel the Luv, my darlins.

2. To the Twitterazzi--how do I love thee? Let me show you three ways….Snarls and pounces and bites for you all!

3. LambCullen, Snarlward is still waiting for his 7minutes in the closet--no questions asked! MWAH!

~~~)Author Recs(~~~

1, First Edition by Lambcullen. AU-AH. Bookward meets his match in fiesty Stalkerella. Oh my---this one shot is becoming a fic thanks to Lambies talented fingers. While your there, check out Lamb's other fics. One word: HOT.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541047/1/First_Edition

2. Don't you wanna take a ride with me by Steph0525. AU AH. Spinward meet Doctorella. They aren't just working out--they're working it. I now have a fetish for the Sauna. Send love to my Snarlward Sistah--we might have to change the Covenant of the Snarl to the Covenant of the Smex!

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5469761/1/

3. Shadows and Dust by ShadowWolf85. AU, OC. Vampward knows he can't stay away from Bella. But it isn't sunshine and roses on the way to paradise. How does a 109 year old vampire connect to what he doesn't understand. Pure feral desire, that's how.

Send my man, Bara, some luv. How glorious is it to have a soul mate who is right on par with my Twilight Obsession? Not only does he snarl ladies and gents but he writes too. /swoon.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5505812/1/

4. The Melting Pot by ColoursCollide. AH, AU. ~~An up and coming author!!~ Bella is an artist. Alice and Rose are rocking a brand new coffee shop in San Francisco--a local sensation. When our Shy-Bella makes a call to the Cullen Handyman Services and Repairs, you just know something hot is about to fix her up nice. One chapter with promise of goodness on the way!

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5503271/1/The_Melting_Pot

~~~)Rec'ing it Up(~~~

Snarls and Luv to the Recc's for Breaking Trinity! Behold the Glory you have all created…and share the good snarling vibrations:

1. Thank you to TwilightVicki and MadeHoney for Pimping Breaking Trinity on Forums, authors and Fans alike!

2. Squee to Greeneyedgirl17, author of Illegal Contact for the awesome rec and for being so incredibly talented that I can't put this fic down!

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5268107/21/Illegal_Contact

3. Thank you to NYNJTwigirls for recc'ing Breaking Trinity!

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~njnytwigals

4. Snarls to AussieTwilight for Recc'ing and spreading the word on the Robsten Love Forums! Clickie, clickie!!

http://www(dot)robstenlove(dot)com

If you have seen a REC or been a REC'er, I want to know! Send me a PM and a link. Don't be shy--Snarlward only bites….a little…../innocent smile.

~~~)InternalSquee(~~~

You guys rock my world, you know that right?

Thank you for hanging in through the angsty-joy and I promise the shifting winds are about to head in the right direction. Another few chapters of some things that need to be dealt with and then….oh, my dears….remember the lemons?

You won't---when I get done with you. We will build toward the most intense Snarlward ever to be written. It's a promise.

Hang in with me.

Believe. Feel. Experience.

Your reviews keep me going. And unfortunately, I have to cut back a bit on the amount of time I spend replying. If I don't get the chance to respond to you, forgive me in advance--I am trying to deal with RL and find time to write chapters that will blow you all away. Still Luv me?

Show me.

Click review. Every last one gets Snarlward one step closer to Wet-Wildflowers.

Next Update: 12/12/09 approximately 12n EST.


	19. Too Real to Feel

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright. If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

**********Happy Birthday Marie---my Covenant Sistah who is celebrating her birthday today!! 12/12!! Snarlward is on his way…and he is wearing the cake, my luv! All of the best and most beautiful things for you on your special day and always**************

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 18: Too Real to Feel....

*

EPOV

_I need you._

My words hung in the air between us.

_I am looking at everything in this whole fucking world that matters._

Yeah, I said it out loud and I meant every God damn word of it.

I didn't give a fuck who knew about it either. From the looks on the faces of our fellow students, it must have slid beneath notice. Even Mike Newton seemed God damn oblivious.

Mr. Banner was too much of a self-involved jack ass to listen to a fucking word I said. Minus the cussing, of course. That, he had heard loud and clear.

I was in my seat next to Bella, leaning back and desperate for her to move or shift or make some kind of contact with me. Instead, she sat with a rigid spine and slumped shoulders--her beautiful face hidden behind a curtain of dark hair.

She was shaking. I could see the tremors of her silken locks, swaying ever so gently down her shoulders. It took every last ounce of reserve-strength I possessed to avoid drawing back her hair so I could feast on her.

Tangerine. Honey.

Bella's scent calmed me enough to realize I had been no better than a God damn ogre. Mike Newton incited a blind rage so deep inside of me by taking my name into his mouth--implying I was something Bella needed to be protected from.

I flexed my hand inside black leather gloves. My knuckles were aching and probably reopened. But fuck if it didn't feel good to lay into Newton.

_Fuck him and his self righteous bullshit_. I remember what he said about Bella just yesterday. All he wanted from my girl was what rested between her legs. Like she was that fucking shallow.

Like her body wasn't already mine.

I cast a furtive glance over to Newton's lab table. As soon as I did he averted his eyes. That asshole had been trying to get Bella's attention--I could tell by the guilty fucking look plastered all over his pasty white face.

_Yeah, we weren't done. This wasn't over_.

My chest rumbled in a very low growl and I grabbed the lab desk to keep myself in place. Everything in me was screaming to get up and…

_Wet-Wildflowers._

Sweet-fucking-Christ.

I turned toward her and sniffed the air in hard, rapid busts--dragging her deep into my senses. Her scent told me she wanted me. It tortured me and I started to lean closer.

"Don't," Bella whispered breathlessly--without even glancing in my direction. Her pen scratched furiously at the lavender cover of her spiral notebook, drawing a dark shape that almost resembled an eye.

"Bella," I shifted and leaned over the desk, desperate to shield the obvious effect she had on my twitching dick and--at the same time--try to get enough of her attention to make her turn and look at me.

"I need to talk to you," I managed. Wave after wave of her sex-scent assaulted me. How could she refuse me? For fuck's sake, I could smell her need for me in the air between us. She was ready for me, just as I was leaking for her.

"No." I could hear the agony in her voice. Bella pressed her thighs together with a hard breath as her pen scratched deeper into her notebook.

Another wave of her heat tormented me. _Fuck_, she needed relief just as badly as I did.

I pressed my palm against my dick, through my jeans and under the table. God damn, I was throbbing. I forced myself to hold my breath. As much as I fucking needed her--I wanted more.

I wanted her to smile. I wanted to inspire and collect them.

"Mitosis," Mr. Banner stated theatrically. "Last class, we watched a movie on the subject matter. And rather than begin with our slides today, I thought we would have a lecture."

Great. Fucking class-time cock block.

"Now, since there was a great _disturbance_ and table-slamming during our class yesterday--which I could only believe would be brought about by a tremendous _passion _for the subject matter," Mr. Banner was smug, waving his chalk-gripping fingers like a Maestro leading an Orchestra. "Mr. Cullen, would you be kind enough to regale us with a concise definition of Mitosis? From memory."

The guy was a prick. I swear to fuck, he had been laying in wait for me to screw up all year. And, judging by the look on his face, he thought he had me now.

I heard Newton snicker and the otherwise complete silence of the class. Bella's pen--stilled--against her notebook cover.

"Of course, Mr. Banner," I said with a quirk of my brow, hesitating for purely dramatic effect. Two could play the bitch-game. "Mitosis is the process of nuclear division in a living cell by which-- the carriers of hereditary information, or the chromosomes--are _exactly _replicated and the two copies distributed to identical daughter nuclei."

Eidetic-fucking-memory.

Mr. Banners face fell, his plan thwarted. I watched his Adams-apple bob with a thick swallow. I brushed my unopened notebook with the edge of my fingers and turned my head toward Bella.

"Mr. Newton, the first three phases of Mitosis if you please," Mr. Banner continued. "In detail."

This was my chance--my window. "Bella," I kept my voice low and soft to stay under Mr. Banner's radar. "I know you have no reason to believe me, but I'm ending it with Tanya tonight--like I should've done a year ago. Please let me explain everything to you."

Bella pressed more firmly into the desk and I could see her eyes concentrating on the notebook before her. I could finally see what she was furiously drawing into the lavender cover.

The Eye of Horus.

How fucking intelligent and eclectic and God damn metaphysical. Like her Nietzsche shirt but so much more esoteric.

Until I realized what it meant.

_Protection. _

"Please, I know I don't deserve it but give me a chance." I stared at the angry strokes of blue pen that colored in the Egyptian eye. I felt suffocated and increasingly desperate. When she didn't move or blink or respond, I placed my leather gloved hand over hers.

Bella jumped back so strongly, her chair went flying and she was standing--frantically reaching for her tipped over stool.

"I--I'm sorry," she bellowed to the class, her face twisted in agony and beautifully heart-wrenching-embarrassment.

I was a monster.

_She did need protection from me._

I leaned down to help right her seat and she perched on the edge of it like she was ready to run.

I closed my eyes and let my head hang in defeat.

**

BPOV

Even through the ridiculous leather gloves, the electricity of his touch shocked me.

My body was already coiled like a high-tension wire and in a matter of a second I was plucked and shredded free of my comfort zone. People in the class were snickering and even Mr. Banner stopped scrutinizing Newton and his paltry definitions of the first phases of mitosis.

Mike cast me a worried look and cleared his throat before continuing with his descriptive definition he left off at. I wanted nothing more than to be invisible at that moment.

But even if I closed my eyes, the feeling--the need and swirling anger would still be with me. And so would Edward's scent. What was I going to do? I couldn't go on like this--not only in this class but in general.

I remained on the edge of my seat and turned in toward the lab desk. My hair spilled over my shoulder and onto the ebon surface. Edward hadn't moved or spoken since I jolted forward like a freak and helped to right my stool.

Did I dare venture a glance? Did I want to let myself care what was going through his mind?

It was so easy to curl myself into the warm, venomous sensation of anger. He had earned every drop of its poison. Edward was a cold, heartless bastard to do what he did to his girlfriend.

_I'm ending it with Tanya tonight--like I should've done a year ago…_

Did that make it any better? How many times had he cheated on her? How could he stay in a relationship with someone he obviously hadn't wanted to be with for over a year?

Anger surged inside of me. All I could see was Edward's face transposed over James' body--that day in Phoenix. The players might have changed but the story was the same. I would be standing there like Victoria--pleading a tearful apology. Innocent Tanya would be curled up on the floor, probably tugging on Laurent the way I did with Riley.

Oh, the God damn horror!

I wanted to turn and pummel Edward Cullen till my hands went numb and my anger dried up.

_That's it! I've had it!_

In a flash I turned my head toward him. It was time to let crazy-Bella out because I couldn't keep her in anymore. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. I didn't care where we were or who would hear my psychotic rant.

I had to get this venom out of my mouth!

Edward was leaning forward with his elbows on the desk, his leather-clad fingers tented against either side of his nose. The slump of his shoulders pushed toward the desk and even his back was bowed. When I turned to look at him, I had expected his eyes to follow me excitedly--or even smugly--but they were closed.

_Where did my anger go? It was here just a second ago…_

He shifted slightly, dropping his hands from his face and his head hung gently. Edward exhaled a shaking breath and opened his eyes. He must have felt the weight of my stare on him because he finally cast his gaze up.

For a single second I saw a light in his eyes. But it extinguished like a candle in a fierce wind, leaving behind only the smoky remains of a great, furious, too short-passion.

_Why did he look so broken? Why did I God damn care?_

Edward turned his eyes from me. "You win, Bella. I won't say anything to you anymore, alright?"

_Damn right you won't! _

Wait. Why did that not _feel_ right? What's that gnawing sensation in my stomach?

He gathered up his books and I watched the slack-tension in his arm when he raised his hand. _What was he doing?_

"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner said while holding up a finger to silence Mike and his furious continued explanation. I hadn't even been paying attention.

"I'd like a pass to the Administrative Office, please," he said in a voice so listless I felt panic rush through me.

"Personal business is to be taken care of on your own time, Mr. Cullen--not mine. Request denied," Mr. Banner grumbled, obviously enjoying his upper hand.

Edward rose out of his chair, books in grip. "Fuck it then, fail me."

"I'm sure that can be arranged. Give my regards to the Principal," Mr. Banner challenged and in an instant, I hated him. For whatever reason, this teacher seemed to detest Edward. What an asshole.

Edward walked to the door and pulled it open with enough force for the knob to hit back against the catch on the wall. And just like that, without looking back--he was gone.

"Maybe Cullen really needed to go to the nurse on account of menstrual cramps," Mike laughed and a few snickers joined him in the merriment.

"Mr. Newton, for that little outburst you can continue to give me the remaining phases of mitosis. I am sure the class will be enrapt and enlightened by your obvious grasp of the material," Mr. Banner said in a sardonic tone.

Alright, maybe this asshole teacher hated everyone under the age of twenty. Still didn't make it right.

I shifted in my seat and glanced at my hastily drawn Eye of Horus. I tried to focus on the meaning, the curves and hastily scribbled color meant to give the sight a two dimensional depth. I wasn't an artist. I couldn't even draw a straight line with the help of a ruler.

The Eye of Horus was a symbol of _protection _and also of _awakening_. Often, it was the last item inscribed on the sarcophagi of the dead to give them the incantation necessary to open the eyes into the next life of paradise--if they passed the test and weighed their heart in balance with a feather.

After a long moment of distracting myself, I couldn't take it anymore.

I turned my gaze to the pushed out stool where Edward had been just a moment ago.

_Please, I know I don't deserve it but give me a chance…_

By saying nothing, I had said everything. This was what I wanted--wasn't it? I wanted Edward Cullen to hurt and crumble into ruination for what he had done. For how he had hurt me and his innocent, unsuspecting girlfriend.

_You don't have to listen to a word I am saying but for yourself, for Edward--just let him explain. Please, hear him out--before it's too late._

I could hear Alice's voice running through my thoughts as I stared blankly at my solitary lab desk.

_Didn't anyone truly give a shit about anyone else, anymore? Was it always about the need and greed…selfish and self centered, instant gratification and screw the other guy mentality? _

My own thoughts came laughing back at me--reminding me to be careful what I wished for because now, it seemed I had it.

_You win, Bella. I won't say anything to you anymore, alright?_

Why did my victory seem so hollow?

*

I stayed behind longer than necessary in Mr. Banner's class. Mike motioned to me about ten-times in less than two minutes and I just kept giving him the 'one second' finger. Finally, he had no choice but to move on to gym class without me.

That had been my whole plan as we drew closer to the end of class. I needed time to think and I knew Mike would bombard me with questions about why Edward left…and what my involvement was with him.

In my own way, I guess I was still pondering those questions too. I didn't have any answers. And I still didn't feel right about Edward leaving class the way he did. _Shit, what was I going to do?_

Did he deserve the benefit of the doubt? Did I owe him a chance to explain? Could I handle hearing the answers to the questions I didn't even want to ask him?

"Ms. Swan," Mr. Banner sighed, condescending and unnerving. "I appreciate your explanation of your previous classes in Phoenix but we are in Forks. You will be judged on the merit I deem fit for this material--no matter what you may already believe you know."

"I just thought you should be aware," I said in the lamest voice I never thought I possessed. I really didn't care what Mr. Banner thought of me--I was just stalling for time.

"Feel free to address me after class only if you have something useful to contribute. Move along," Mr. Banner grumbled, looking at his watch with an absurd amount of rudeness.

To hell with him. My mission was accomplished.

I nodded curtly and walked out of the room. I retraced the steps I had made yesterday with Mike to find the entrance to the girls locker room in this maze of hallways and classrooms.

Luckily, when I entered the locker room, I was alone. I changed quickly into sweats and my Spartans T-shirt, the required and provided uniform. Just seconds after the bell rang, I was standing near the wall and ready for another round of Co-Ed Volleyball.

"Bella!" Jess squealed, running toward me as I played at being the wallflower. "Hey, are you going to be able to play today, with your hand?"

"That's a good question." I would have done anything to get out of Gym class, including sawing off my offending appendage. For the uncoordinated, this was a tour through hell. "I'll have to ask the coach."

"Didn't Dr. Cullen give you a note or--" Jess was cut off by the raucous sound drawing ever closer.

"Bella!" I could hear Mike and turned to look over Jessica's shoulder. He approached with a jog and I could see the faint bruising around his left eye where Edward must have landed him a good one.

"Hey Mike," I said, worrying my lip. _Please, don't talk about him…please don't…._

"So, what the hell is up with you and Cullen?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips. After the tussle he and Edward had gotten themselves into before Biology class began--Mike was well within his rights to ask me. But I didn't have any answers for him.

"What?" Jessica looked from Mike to me--with a scowl. "Something happen with you and Edward Cullen?"

Thinly veiled rage behind an innocent question. _Now what do I do?_

"Cullen is a fucking asshole," Mike said with a narrowing of his eyes. "But luckily Jess, I landed him the ol' one-two."

"Um yeah, that's why your eye is looking puffy and a little discolored," Jess grumbled and returned her eyes to me after appraising Newton's injuries. It was the confirmation she was looking for. "Bella, spill!"

"You know he's my lab partner, Jess." I looked down at my wrapped up hand, flexing the fingers back till I felt the sharp sting of my skin stretching and popping beneath the white gauze. "I guess we just don't get a long."

_At least when we aren't horizontal and before I knew he had a girlfriend_…

"Well did he say something to you? Or are you like gawking at him or something?" Jess accused, suddenly extremely defensive of her EFC.

_I've done a lot more than gawk at him._

"I don't know," I shrugged. My eyes stayed on the bandage. _Success_, little red flecks leaking under the stark white wrapping. _That should get me out of gym._

"Well, whatever his problem is--he and I aren't done yet," Mike said bravely, faking a right hook punch and bouncing around like a wanna-be boxer.

Jessica threw her hands up in the air. "I totally have no idea what's going on and now, I'm getting pissed." _Drama queen._

"That reminds me, Jess," I said and bit the edge of my lip. "Um, Charlie is a little pissed off at me for something--chores or whatever--so I'm kinda on restriction until further notice."

"Well you said he is working the overnight right?" Jess was still angry, I could hear it in her voice.

"Yeah, but…" I started.

"Well fine, I'll park my car down the street and walk over. I'll be there at six," Jess huffed. She wasn't having a cancellation and apparently in a split second, she had every detail already worked out.

"If I get caught," I started to snicker. Charlie would probably have me on house-arrest, little ankle bracelet and all, if he found out Jess was coming over.

"Tell him I'm coming over to study. Or don't tell him, Bella. Either way, stop being such a damn 'fraidy cat." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Hey, am I invited?" Mike said with a hopeful smile. Apparently, in his mind he was the hero of the day.

"Girl time only, Newton," Jess grumbled, pushing him back with her fingers against his chest. "Now, get over to your side of the gym before your buddies think your having a sex change or something."

"Or just getting lucky," Mike snickered with a waggle of his brow. _Gross._ "I'll see you ladies on the court--and don't worry Bella--I got your back."

"Thanks," I muttered.

Really, I never should have come to school today.

**

EPOV

There was no way I could drop Mr. Banner's Biology class and switch into another one this late in the school year.

I would have to think of something else. But until then Bella was stuck with me. The last thing she wanted, I was sure.

I moved through psychology class like a zombie--barely passing off a word to Emmett as he looked on. I hid my head with my hand against my brow most of the class, eliciting concerned looks from Mr. Basttion. I knew he wouldn't call on me out of genuine care.

Not that I deserved it--but I needed it.

Mr. Basttion was the one teacher I looked up to in this place--not just because of his title but because of his great works in the community. He had that God damn selfless-and-genuine nature I knew I would never be able to incorporate into my own deformed being.

I was at the bottom fucking wrung of Maslow's pyramid. Even if we were onto discussing Jung now.

I kept my eyes on my unopened notebook cover. All I could see was that fucking Eye of Horus Bella had drawn. An ancient ward of Protection.

That was the moment I realized I was a God damn monster and no amount of desire and forthright action was going to change it. I had done wrong by her--by Tanya--by my own self important bullshit. And nothing I could do now would save the only thing I wanted--from slaughter.

It was like finding out that veal was actually cruel-milk-fed baby cows forced to live in a narrow box so the meat wouldn't get tough. I never ate another sliver of the high-priced-atrociously-begotten-flesh again.

That didn't mean it wasn't on the menu at every restaurant and diner across the globe--just because I refused it on a matter of principal. I couldn't even fucking effect change in my own life, let alone the world.

I deserved every joy to turn into bitter ash in my mouth. I wasn't a fucking hero. I was the bad guy.

_Abash'd the devil stood, and felt how awful goodness is._

If 'Paradise Lost' by John Milton couldn't say it, I didn't know what would.

I left class at the first chime of the bell, avoiding the call-backs from Mr. Basttion and Emmett. I didn't deserve kindness or understanding. Monsters don't get forgiven--they become immortalized in legends meant to frighten children into behaving and following societal norms.

I was abhorrent. An abomination. But unlike John Merrick, my deformity was on the inside--psychologically, mentally, sexually.

I threw myself into the last chair--of the last classroom of the day. Calculus. I was surprised to find out we had a substitute teacher for Mr. Molina but I couldn't bring myself to care. The why-and-what-calamity that had befallen my teacher was selfishly dismissed for a near free period of some fumbling idiot replacement.

Once the farce of a Calculus class ended, I gathered my books and moved to my seldom used locker. My fingers flew along the circular dial-pad, the metal reverberating as I swung it open--hard. As soon as my books were neatly placed inside of the orderly compartment, I made my way toward the locker room.

My team-mates were already changing when I arrived to a few enthusiastic greetings--which I ignored. I was the best center-field this shit-school had seen in years. At least that much I could still be confident in.

I changed into my practice uniform, which was sandwiched neatly between my away and home game digs. Taking up my glove and the oil, I set to working the dry leather into supple preparedness.

After a good few minutes, I stalked out of the locker room and through the gym toward the exit.

_Tangerine. Honey._

I gave myself a long moment to inhale it. That exquisite scent that tormented me and simultaneously reminded me of what I would never have again. She would be a phantom of pure desire, tormenting me as I stalked the halls in eternal supplication and want for the scent only she possessed.

The body I wanted to worship.

The craving I ached to sate.

The smile I would remember for the rest of my fucking life.

As I walked out onto the field, I cracked my neck with a swift motion of my head from side to side. I tossed my glove on the bench and folded at the waist and over my straight legs. I needed a good calf-stretch. My entire body was too tight and improper warm up was the leading cause of someone ending up benched for a season.

My fingers curled down onto the edge of my cleats and I breathed out sharply--letting my muscles expand and contract. The memory was there, my body knew what to do.

Even if my heart wasn't in it.

"Edward," came a voice from a few feet away, in the bleachers behind the chain link fence.

I looked up through errant strands of auburn-bronze. _What the fuck?_

Carlisle?

I rolled my spine upwards slowly-as not to shock my expanding muscles with a sudden movement.

"Dad?" I said as I took the vision of him in, fully.

Cable-knit crème sweater and ebony-leather gloves, dark grey wool pants and Italian black leather loafers. Long, dark grey cashmere scarf. His blonde hair was neatly pulled back and styled--getting long even for him. Piercing blue-eyes were full of warmth. He looked more like a male model than a Doctor.

"What are you doing here?" I walked over to the chain link fence separating the bleachers from home-base. I clutched my leather gloved fingers against the metal and raised my leg behind me, stretching my left-leg hamstring.

"I took the afternoon off from the hospital and I wanted to drop off your physical forms. I gave them to the coach personally," he said with a gentle smile. "I received your message earlier--there was an emergency in triage so I wasn't able to call you back. But all is well now."

Of course it was. Carlisle Cullen was the kind of Doctor that screen writers used to make ridiculously dramatic medical shows on television. I had seen him in action--compassionate and knowledgeable beyond reason. He wrestled with death the way an artist paints--with precision, respect and a single goal in mind. Keep his patients alive and fulfilled.

Carlisle was simultaneously the archangel and patron saint of Forks Hospital.

I dropped my left leg and took up the right--grasping my ankle hard in hand to stretch out the hammy. Shit--it burned like hell when the muscle started to awaken to life.

"I spoke to Charlie Swan today. The Chief of Police," Carlisle wove his fingers through the links of fence nearest to mine. "Do you have a moment to tell me about that?"

"He found me in my car before lunch," I said, guardedly. "Had some questions I couldn't really answer." _Could but wouldn't was more like it._

"Do you know Isabella Swan?" He asked, a serious curve to his lower lip. Smiles and greetings were gone. It was down to business.

"Yeah, I do." I snickered but didn't avert my eyes.

"Is there something going on I should be aware of, son?" Carlisle leaned closer to the chain fence, just as I leaned back.

My hamstrings were stretched so I worked on releasing the tension from my back and neck. It was a good enough excuse as any--and something a doctor could understand easily. Stretching the muscles meant less chance of injury.

"I can't talk about it here," I mumbled. No sense in lying, even if everything had fallen to shit. Tanya was still one fixture that would be leaving my life tonight. Even if I couldn't go into it right now, I knew Carlisle would take my words as a warning to be prepared. Then again, when wasn't my father prepared?

_When you steal his car, wrap it around a tree and nearly kill another living being?_

Yeah. That one had caught him off guard. I suppose after that, any stunt I could have pulled would have made no mind to him. Expect the worst--from the worst--and never be disappointed, right?

"Do you mind if I stay and watch your practice? It's been awhile," Carlisle said with a smile. If he wasn't so calm and collected I would dare say that tilt of his voice was self-deprecating.

I'd been so out of touch with my father--for so long now, I was kinda surprised he would rather sit outside in the cold Forks afternoon just to watch his son throw a ball around. He probably had tons of shit waiting for him back at the hospital.

"Sure," I shrugged, dropping my right leg and reaching above me to stretch out my shoulders. "I've gotta rush off to work after this though."

Carlisle nodded, looking pensive for a moment. "What time do you think you'll be home? Maybe we could sit down and have a dinner tonight, just the two of us?"

"I have something to take care of after work, so maybe ten-o-clock?" I said, making sure to emphasize the tentative time. I should have felt bad for preparing to break it off with Tanya over the phone. But truth be told, I just didn't give a shit anymore.

My gut clenched when my next thought was of Bella. I sighed heavily enough for Carlisle to look up at me with a quirked brow.

"Edward, we don't have to--"

I cut him off before he could say anymore. "That'd be cool, Dad." And I meant it.

"Ladies! Put all of your pretty--shiny things in your purses and gather round," Coach Klapp said with a booming voice.

"I'll see you later, Dad," I said with an encouraging nod.

"Alright son--have a good practice," Carlisle returned the nod and walked back toward the bleachers.

It was cold outside but I didn't feel it. My stretches had warmed me up nicely. I walked toward the bench and took my keys and Crackberry out of my pocket. The red LED indicator light flashed and I woke it up, expecting a text message from Tanya or either of my siblings.

I was actually pretty damn amazed that Tanya hadn't flooded my inbox or my voice mail. Maybe she had a feeling what was about to go down?

I scrolled down to my new messages. One text.

_We need to talk. In person. --Bella._

Holy-fuck.

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A/N:

~~~)Squee(~~~

Breaking Trinity has been nominated for BEST LEMON!! OMG! Thank you for the luv--and please check out the other fics that are nominated on the site! We are talking the big-boys of the genre. I am just so happy to be here and in the shadows---basking in the warmth of such creativity! Vote for your favorites in so many categories at:

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To my Glorious Beta Brits23--my hetero-life-mate. She makes Snarlward sing with Bella's panties on a stick. Its true. Please visit her intense new fic---Laid Bare. Trust me…you'll want to protect whatever your sitting on….

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1. To the Covenant, my sistah's of Snarl: Sweet Glory--hallow'd be thy name! Kisses to you, my darlings. Your love, faith and devotion has given me so much fulfillment. Thank you for giving Breaking Trinity your all--we are recognized!! /squee!!!

2. To the Twitterazzi--every tweet has blasted a solar flare through my soul in all the right ways. So much love, I give to thee all!

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Thank you for every kind word---I could not reply to everyone but I tried my hardest to send out as many as I could. RL still has me running in circles so please, forgive me if I do not/did not reply to your reviews. I do read every one and my inspiration comes from you all---and every review you leave for me.

I promise the storm is closer to blowing over…..some new and interesting developments are on the way next chapter.

Next update is scheduled for December 19,2009 approximately 12Noon.

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	20. Complications be Damned

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright. If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

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~~~)(~~~

Chapter 19: Complications be Damned

*

BPOV

_You don't owe him anything._

I signed out of study hall and walked to my truck. I was glad to be on my own again--away from Mike and Jess and the questions that lingered behind their eyes.

_I am looking at everything in this whole fucking world that matters…_

Did Mike know? Had he paid attention enough to figure out the words that Edward had said, just a class period ago?

No--there was no way anyone--not even Mr. Banner could have understood the words that were meant only for me.

_I am looking at everything in this whole fucking world that matters…_

What did Edward's words _really_ mean?

No matter how much I replayed them in my head--I just couldn't--or maybe didn't want to--grasp the strength and purity behind his words.

I needed time to think and now that I had it--all I wanted was to know if Edward was alright.

The way he left class had my head spinning. I could almost feel a sense of resignation hanging around his body like a shroud. Did he realize it was over now? Did it finally sink in?

I winced when I remembered the defeat in his eyes. How distant his verdant green gaze had appeared the last time he looked at me. Well, it wasn't really the last time he would _ever _look at me--we still had two months of school and we _were_ lab partners.

Why did any of this matter?

_He wants to leave the class._

That was ridiculous. There was no way to transfer this late in the year. That would throw the entire class-room balance into upheaval. _Or was there a way?_

Wait! Would he really want to put himself that far from me?

I felt panic at the thought.

_You win, Bella…_

I kept replaying his words over and over again.

My cell phone was open on my lap--the words already typed and my fingers were hovering over the 'send' button. I caressed the black-key that would deliver my message, afraid of what I wanted to do and why it had come to me.

I was betraying myself.

At least, that was what one half of me--told the other half.

I looked down at the simple message on my screen. My decision was made--maybe against my better judgment.

_We need to talk. In person. --Bella._

I closed my eyes and hit send.

*

I parked in the backyard as usual.

The driveway wasn't big enough for both my truck and Charlie's cruiser to sit side by side. My dad didn't like the idea of blocking me in with his cruiser and vice versa was just out of the question.

When I stepped out of my truck and cast my gaze up--I startled and jumped back, nearly four feet. A figure in a wheelchair was waiting for me like some solemn omen on the back porch. Once I took a breath, I smiled and realized just who it was.

I had completely forgotten about the afternoon's events.

"Well, look who's all grown up?" Billy, my father's best friend, said with a smile. I bounded over and leaned down, giving him an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek. "I told Charlie you'd grow up to be a beauty."

"She takes after her mother," Charlie said, stepping out of the door. His eyes fell on me and they were still…distant. Angry.

"Well that's a good thing. Who wants a kid running around and cursed with your ugly mug?" Billy laughed and side glanced up to Charlie. They were like brothers and the affection was there, in every word and glance. These two had been best friends since boyhood.

"Yeah, your real cute," Charlie said with a snicker but it faded the moment he turned his attention to me. "Isabella, go give your keys to Jacob so he can take a look-see at the truck, would you? He's inside."

"Sure, Dad," I nodded and shivered under that icy voice. Maybe I should be thankful Billy and Jacob were here--Charlie wasn't the type to make a scene.

He opened the door for me and I stepped in from the back porch. I tossed my haversack down on the counter but kept my truck keys around my finger.

I heard odd beeping noises coming from the other room and quirked my brow. I tried to look around the corner as I moved.

When I rounded the causeway from the kitchen to the living room, a startled guy with a PSP in hand jolted upright from the couch. "Shit you scared me!"

I was taken aback by his surprise. Damn video games and their hypnotic sway over the attention. The PSP was discarded and still making noise on the sofa.

My mouth was dry and I swallowed reflexively. Only then did I see the eyes of the boy I once knew--looking back at me from the hulking six-foot-man with a handsome baby-face in Charlie's living room.

"Jacob?" This couldn't be the same, scraggly and scrawny Quileute kid I used to make mud-pies with. What stood before me was a tawny-skinned-muscular monster--enshrouded by long, jet black hair.

"Bella?" He said with so much warmth, I was literally fixed in position. His voice had bass--little Jacob was all grown up now. Impressively so. "Holy shit!"

"I could say the same thing." I felt my mask of anxiety from the day wane--like shadows under the rising sun. When Jacob smiled, I did too. I couldn't help myself.

He crossed the distance with a fluid grace I never would have imagined. Once upon a time, Jacob was a gangly, too skinny boy with as much balance and coordination as I possessed. Drunk people could navigate complex hills better than we could walk upright and on flat ground.

That was then, this is now.

In a single flash, his massive arms encircled me and pulled in for a too-tight hug. For a split second I was off my feet and gurgling for breath. My nose was forced to bury in his hair and neck. _He smelled like earth and spices and sandalwood_.

"Jacob, let go!" I gasped and with a sudden _oomph_, my feet were back on the floor.

"Sorry, I don't know my own strength sometimes," he laughed. It was infectious and warm and I remembered it instantly.

"It's okay," I laughed. My own mirth sounded alien to me. "Look at you! Are you on steroids or something? You're massive!"

"I'll take that as a compliment," Jacob half-cocked a grin. "And no, I'm not on steroids--just pure bred, all natural Quileute." He flexed his arms like some crazy body-builder.

"Well, the Rez and the genes have been good to you," I shook my head. Everything for the past few days had made me feel like I was walking through a world of perpetual darkness. Now, I was nearly blinded by the sunlight. Jacob was pure solar flare.

"Look at you, all grown up now. Where's that girl I used to chase around the Rez with bugs and worms?" He asked, giving me a warm, appraising look. I couldn't help but blush; there was so much history we shared in our formative years. It was really a shame we never kept in touch properly over the years.

That distance was mostly my fault. Even when I had come back to Forks on summers and rare holidays, Charlie had always told me Jacob wanted to see me. I was too busy being self important and Jessica-centric to think about visiting with him.

But somewhere in my heart, even through the years, I had always considered him one of my best friends. It was kind of selfish to entitle him that--when I never gave anything to make it real or worthy.

Past and present danced into one singular vision.

I shifted and slid the keys around my finger toward Jacob. I felt at a sudden loss for words. "Um, my Dad wanted me to give these to you," I stammered, trying to bring myself back from--what felt like--light years ago.

"Yeah, I wanted to take a look at the old girl. I rebuilt her, you know," he said with an almost shameful pride. He looked down at his shoes in awkward silence. Did he feel that weird--time is catching up to us---deja-vu thing to?

"She runs great," I said for lack of anything else.

"Even at fifty-five?" He chuckled. _Solar flares._

"Well, the shaking and sputtering at the normal speed limit is just understandable, she's an old soul," I smiled. "Probably the reason Charlie bought it from your dad in the first place. God forbid I should break a speed limit or something."

"That might be weird to be pulled over by your own dad," Jacob winked an almond shaped eye.

"Yeah, where would I stash my drugs, hookers and illegally downloaded MP3's?" My humor was dry and not often let out.

For a single second, Jacob looked at me in pure…astonishment. And then, when he realized just how droll my wit really was, he broke out into an appreciative belly chuckle. His shoulders hunched with the effort and he snorted the most God-awful sound.

It started as a simple almost giggle. But when I heard Jacob snort like that and saw his face twisted in complete immersive-laughter, I lost hold on myself.

My stomach and my chest and even my shoulders started to hurt with the effort of my poor, unaccustomed body. And every time I tried to stop laughing, Jacob snorted even harder in the most jovial manner--it was like adding fuel to the giddy-fire.

Tears were rolling down my face. I was crying and this time it wasn't because something had hurt me. This was a different pain. A sweet release.

I had to clutch my gut to make the pain go away. God, I really needed to laugh like this. I couldn't remember the last time I did and that meant it had been too long.

"Ouch, my stomach hurts." Jacobs laughter died down to an occasional, throaty-chuckled-aftershock. He was nearly bent over and hugging himself.

"Mine too," I said, exhaling sharply. I think I could get used to the solar flares Jacob naturally possessed and threw my way.

We both fell silent with only ragged breathing filling the distance between us. I knew I had to say what was on my mind now, before the guilt ate me alive.

"Jacob--I'm sorry I never made more of an effort to be friends--It was selfish and kinda stupid." I was hard on myself. But that was how I always was. My own worst critic. "I hope we can pick up where we left off--minus the bugs and worms and mud-pies."

He looked at me for a moment, his face impassive at first. But the more I studied him the more I could see the twitches of his full lower lip as he tried to fight off another fit of laughter.

"Alright, Bells. But that means you have to give up the drugs, hookers and illegal MP3 downloads." He bit his lip this time but I could see his shoulders start to wrack with unsounded laughter.

Now I was the one that snorted, barely holding my mirth in. Another bought like the last one and Charlie might find me on the floor, passed out from the agony. "Jake, you're an ass!"

"Yeah, but I missed you," he said simply.

I was calmer than I had been in days. It felt natural and easy.

"I missed you too. I just didn't know how much till now." This time when Jacob hugged me, he didn't drag me up to his level. Instead, he leaned down and met me at mine.

*

I spent most of the afternoon avoiding Charlie and helping Jake work on the truck. It was a comical thing to see the hood of the red beast open--and my recently-reunited friend leaning over and into it with a wrench in his mouth.

From an outsiders view it looked like Jake was getting eaten alive by an old, beat-up metal monster.

In the process, I learned a good deal about my truck from just listening to Jake talk me through the process. He tightened the serpentine belt so it would no longer squeal and reset the points on the distributor cap. He muttered something about spark-plugs needing to be changed. It might as well have been an alien language but I did my best to keep up.

Jake and I reconnected over the draining of the transmission fluid. It was our pause point and I made us hot chocolate to stave off the cold. It was only Swiss-Miss instant cocoa but it did a great job at warming us up.

He was talkative--filling me in on the missing gaps that comprised years in our lives. By the time he was done and pronounced the truck 'healthy', I was all caught up on everything I had missed.

The afternoon went with such ease, I nearly forgot the angst-cloud I had been living under for the past twenty-four hours.

By quarter-passed-four, Charlie was getting ready for work and strapping his side-arm onto his belt, I was yawning and exhausted. Jake helped Billy down the stairs, tilting the wheelchair backwards with exceptional control. It was a good thing he was so massive and strong--gravity was working against his muscular body the entire time.

Billy said something about us coming down to the Rez for a bonfire Friday night and Charlie committed us without even consulting me. I guess I couldn't complain--restrictions and all. At least I would get out of the house. That had to be a promising prospect.

Jake lifted his dad into his recently rebuilt car. A rabbit--he had called it. I don't think I had ever seen a hatch-back like his on the road before so that meant it was old. But certainly not as aged as my truck. Jake really had a way with automotives but after our long chat together I knew that wasn't where his heart was.

It was actually architecture and design that he dreamed of getting his degree in.

I still had no idea what the hell I wanted to do with my life. How cruel was it to ask a seventeen year old to pick and apply to a college--based on a future career--when you weren't even legal enough to vote yet?

Eventually I was going to have to sit down with a guidance counselor and Charlie and start working on college and scholarship applications. This late in the game I would have to scramble and over-submit with the hopes of being accepted somewhere better than a community college.

I really needed to get a job and start saving. I knew there was no way I would ask Charlie or Renee for help on tuition. A public servant's salary was base at best and my mom lived paycheck to paycheck. I would never ask for a dime toward higher education--even though I knew how much both of my parents wanted me to educationally achieve better than they had.

Renee had an associates in liberal arts without a declared major and Charlie--only a high school education. They pinned all their hopes and dreams on me to bring home a degree that actually meant something.

Time was running out faster than a three-minute egg-timer--but I just couldn't handle those thoughts tonight. I would make an appointment with my counselor tomorrow and hope it wasn't a month long wait-list to get in.

"Earth to Bella," Jake said, standing before me with his arms crossed and a smile on his face.

"Sorry Jake, I totally zoned," I confessed with a guilty smile. "So are you like--gonna be at the bonfire on Friday night?" It might be worth going if he was there. Not that I had a choice. Charlie had already committed me.

"I should be back in time, I have an away-game against Port Angeles Friday night," he said with a smile, loosening his arms. His hands twitched slightly as they fell to his sides. "But we are going to completely rock-face against your Spartans on Saturday."

"Oh yeah, _my _Spartans. Cause I'm that kind of athletic girl who is all about team spirit," I laughed. "Should I beg forgiveness for my incompetence, Mr. All-American-Sports?" Ribbing on Jake was _fun_.

"You got the All-American-part right--you know, native like." He cracked a smile. Since Football season was over, Jacob took up his second roll on the La Push Warriors baseball team. He had joked earlier that any sports team in his High School--and he was on several of them--should just be called 'Team Jacob'.

At the time--his declaration elicited an obvious eye-roll from me.

"Alright, well I guess I'll see you Friday night--for the bonfire--hopefully," I said, feeling a bit out of sorts. Was I supposed to hug him or something? I mean--that's what friends did, right?

"Yeah." Jake leaned in towards me looking as completely confused on what to do as I was.

"Oh, wait!" I said with a sudden declaration. He had been moving forward and stopped dead in his tracks--his eyes wide. "I forgot to give you something and I promised I would. Wait here, one second!"

"Okay," he said with an arched and questioning brow.

I started to tear off toward the house and yelled back at him. "Seriously, don't leave!"

I stumbled up the steps but caught myself with my hands on the wood. Damn, that would leave a splinter. Whoever sanded this back porch was some kind of half-assed-carpenter. Or a complete sadist.

I made my way to my room, fumbling into the disheveled confines without looking around. I knew exactly where I had left it. Top drawer of my dresser.

I dove my fingers in and withdrew my prize like my fingers could read color and material. I took a deep breath of its fragrance and smiled. After a moment I started to jog down the way I had just come up.

I was fulfilling a promise. It was time to pass the mantle.

I returned to Jacob--huffing for breath. Charlie was leaning into the passenger side of the car where Billy sat--so I had a moment to myself with Jake without being overhead.

"What was that all about?" he asked, watching me curiously.

I held my hand behind my back and slowly, ceremoniously produced my offering. A red, folded kerchief--Riley's gift to me that came with a specific set of instructions.

"What is this for?" Jake held out his hand, looking from the gift--to me--and back again.

"This was given to me by a really good friend." I was out of breath, like a smoker trying to run a marathon. "He looked out for me in Phoenix--and the day before I left to come here, he asked me to give this to you."

Jacob's attitude toward the generic kerchief completely changed. It went from a simple material offering of questionable origin to a relic of respect. His hand enfolded around the red material and he tilted his head to the side.

"The one that gave you this, really cared about you---worried even," Jake said in an uncharacteristically heavy voice. It was almost like he was reading the history bound in cloth. "Warrior to warrior--he wanted you to be taken care of, Bella. What's his name?"

The little color I had must have drained out of my face--till I was as stark white as bleached paper. "Riley," I swallowed hard.

"Riley," Jake repeated with a far away look and reverence in his eyes. What the hell was this all about?

"How did you--know the other stuff?" I asked, confounded beyond what logic could explain.

"It's a native thing, you wouldn't understand," Jacob said, gently unfolding the red kerchief.

"You gotta give me something more than that, Jake," I said, insistently. There was no way he could have known anything about Riley. We spent the afternoon talking about everything--but me.

"I'm a Chieftain's son, Bella. The Rez isn't just a place the pale faces stuck us--it's a sacred land--my land and my people's. We are very linked to the spirit world---and when it speaks we listen--no matter where we are."

I didn't move. "So, you're like psychic or something?"

"No," Jake shook his head, a cascade of ebony hair leaking down his shoulder. "We are just really good listeners. And it seems your friend Riley left an imprint on this. He's worried about you--but he will feel better. This gift has found its rightful place."

So, maybe I was a little freaked out. "Um, alright."

Jake smiled and tied the kerchief around the belt loop of his jeans. I watched him like a completely dumbfounded idiot. I didn't handle the whole metaphysical bursting into reality bit very easily.

Not to say I didn't believe in the paranormal. I just had a hard time with the idea of there being things--knowledge--that existed outside of my realm of awareness and understanding.

"So, yeah---ring me if your around--and if not I'll see you Friday for the bonfire. If you're back in time, I mean," I said, finally breaking the tension.

Jake smiled--throwing me his solar flares. Shadows of doubt and questioning fled under that kind of intensity. Without hesitation he leaned in and hugged me. I returned it easily--and welcomingly.

He didn't say anything as he broke the embrace and moved toward the car that held his awaiting father. Charlie tapped the roof of the vehicle and walked away when the engine roared to life.

As Jake pulled off, he held his hand out of the window and tossed me a reverse wave. I shivered into my jacket--finally feeling the acute cold as I stood on the walkway.

God damn, did Forks ever warm up? It was spring already.

"Bells," Charlie said as he joined me on the walkway, his keys in his hand. He had a ten-minute drive to the station and time was ticking. "You ready to talk yet?"

I pulled myself back to reality and looked up at my dad. I had a very small window to play-off his questioning. "Don't know what you mean?"

Charlie glanced down at the walkway and then back into my eyes--boring holes into me. "Well, I guess when you figure it out--we can discuss your grounding."

There was no conversation to be had at that point. He wanted something I could never give him--information about Edward Cullen and just why I hated him. He started to walk away when I remembered Jessica and her anticipated visit.

"Dad," I said, turning around as he made it to his cruiser, door open and one foot in. "Before--you grounded me, I made plans for Jessica to come over and study. She was going to be here at six. What do you want me to do?"

He looked at me--studiously--for a long and silent moment. Charlie withdrew his cell phone with all the deftness of a gun-slinger. After a second and an obvious speed dial, he was stationary and paused--still as stone.

_What was he doing?_

"Bob--Charlie Swan here," he said in a friendly but official tone. "Good to hear." _Pause_. "Sorry to catch you during dinner. Jessica has plans to study with Bella tonight?" _A longer pause_. "I see. Alright, then. That should be fine--are you dropping her off and picking her up?" _Oh, shit. Was he really playing protective father?_ "No later than nine--yes--curfew. No, you won't need to stay while they study. I'll drive by and check on them--alright Bob---send my regards to Carol."

Jessica was too devious for her own good. As I heard the one sided exchange I almost thanked my lucky stars that she had shown the foresight to tell her parents about coming over here.

I wasn't really looking forward to hanging out with Jess--but I knew it was inevitable once she set her mind to it. I at least owed her some face to face time, even if she was turning out to be much less of a best friend than she should have been.

I had put too little effort in with Jacob before this and I was lucky to have a second shot at being friends with him. I didn't want to lose Jessica by taking that same road.

After another moment, Charlie hung up and nodded toward me. "Alright, Bells. No later than nine. Mr. Stanley will drop his daughter off and pick her up. I'll drive by and check on you through the night."

I rolled my eyes. He was taking this just a bit to the extreme. "Fine," I said with a huff.

"Maybe this experience will speed up your memory--I'll be ready to listen when you start talking, young lady."

"Ten-four, Chief Swan," I grumbled and headed back into the house. I heard the roar of the Cruisers engine and the gravel crunching under his tires as he pulled out.

I grabbed my haversack and heard the most pathetic beep possible--emanating from within. Shit, it was my cell and it must have been low on battery.

I dug into the confines, setting my bag on the table. I pulled my dying cell phone out and flipped it open.

The battery was at 1/3 life. One new text message.

Holy shit. I had completely forgotten---but now, everything came back to me. I had sent Edward a text message.

I bit my lip with a sudden onslaught of anxiety--the majesty of solar flares wearing off of me instantly. I scrolled down and hit OK.

_Tell me when and where & I will be there--EC._

I gasped, flooding over with all the angst I had managed to keep at bay this afternoon. Now that Jake was gone--everything came flooding back to me. Solar flares were vanquished by darkness.

I hit reply and swallowed hard.

_Tonight after 9 my house. Txt to confirm.--Bella._

I wondered if I should have told him that Charlie wouldn't be home. But I decided that might have been for the best. It would make this go much easier--much faster--if he believed otherwise.

Suddenly, I really hoped Jess would manage to sneak some alcohol into the house when she came over to 'study'. I wasn't a big drinker but I had an intense feeling I was going to need it.

**

EPOV

At five-thirty I turned my phone on.

To save the battery from going dead after a day of texting--I was forced to shut it down. I made a note to myself to pick up a car charger. Fucking Crackberrys were infamous for shit-run time.

1/3 life remaining. One new text message.

At first--I figured it would be from Tanya. She had been eerily silent all day.

_Tonight after 9 my house. Txt to confirm.--Bella._

Her message sounded so official. But at least my earlier fears were proving to be untrue.

I had fled Biology like a bitch because I thought she was…scared of me. I mean, put the fucking pieces together. First Mike is rushing in like Sir-God damn-Lancelot, out to protect Bella…and then that Eye of Horus sign of protection….and then I touched her and she fled from me like a scared rabbit.

I felt like a monster. I over-reacted. I nearly gave up.

But that unexpected text message from Bella herself--saved me. It reminded me--like a boot to the face--of what we both needed.

Each other.

My fingers slid over the keys of my phone like they were on fire. But I paused when I realized I had a pre-destined date with a certain soon-to-be-ex at nine. I didn't know how long it would take to get the break up over with---but it didn't matter. Yeah, I would do my best to let Tanya down easily enough but I was through with going out of my way for her.

When I showed up at Bella's house tonight--I would make everything right. But I couldn't give her an exact time of arrival to her door. So, I went with something more vague.

_I'm coming for you tonight—EC _

I meant every word of it. I was going to come clean--and claim her. She was mine--and I _knew_ that she _knew_ it.

I powered my phone down to save what juice remained. I had no idea how long the conversation with Tanya would take--and the last thing I needed was my Crackberry dying on me--midway through a sentence.

I willed the next few hours to fly by. I even considered asking Mr. Scott to leave early. Not that he would have minded--but I had a few accounts I was overseeing personally--much to his well-noted disdain.

I knew I couldn't live with myself if those accounts fell by the wayside before the overseas numbers came. I had to steel myself and make it through the next three-and-a-half hours. Salvation would come then--in more ways than one.

**

After a brief conversation with Mr. Scott and an emailed transcript of the evening's brokerage, I was out of the door like a gun-shot. He chuckled as I bolted--murmuring something about youth always being in a hurry.

He didn't know what was hanging in the balance. No one did.

I made it to my car in seconds, slamming myself into the leather seats, unapologetically. I lifted my Crackberry from my pocket and powered it up with one hand while I started my Volvo with the other.

The digital temperature gage under my rear view mirror flashed an ice warning as I slid into reverse. I made note to be hyper-fucking-vigilant on the drive toward Bella's house.

I blasted my heater to melt the ice on my windows. From the slight raise in temperature some of the snow on the ground started to melt and freeze over. Great--that meant shit roads.

I let my Volvo run for a minute and watched the ice start to dissipate from my front and rear windows.

Luckily when I bought my car outright I had opted for the engine-block heater-feature. It meant the heart of the vehicle was kept warm and vital like an electric blanket--cutting down defrosting time dramatically.

By the time I made it out of Mr. Scott's driveway, the Operating system welcome chime on my phone greeted me. I hit the brakes and scrolled my contact list and new messages--nothing.

I found Tanya's number and hit send. I lifted the phone to my ear and pressed the car into third gear--scanning the road for traces of glittering pavement--a tell tale sign of black ice.

Three rings….and voicemail. What the fuck? Tanya knew that I would be calling her at nine--I spoke to her just yesterday and replied to her text earlier today.

In frustration I hung up and hit redial--casting desperate glances between the road and my phone. I couldn't really determine which was more important at the moment.

Three rings…and voicemail again. _Bullshit._

_Hi--You've reached Tanya but if you're calling me then you already know that. Wait for the beep--you know what to do._

You have to be fucking kidding me. What the hell was I going to do? Break up with her voicemail?

Damn straight.

_Beep._

"Tanya--Edward. Look--you knew I was ringing you at nine--so I am calling bullshit on you. I wanted to do this in person but settled for the phone--now I've got your voice mail so," I breathed into the receiver in frustration while navigating the road in a state of hyper-vigilance. "Look--that night we got into the accident I made a promise I would do right by you. I did my best but--I'm not feeling this anymore. There's someone else and I've made my choice."

_Beep._

Tanya's fucking message cut me off. Fuck. Fate wasn't being too God damn kind to me.

I wrangled the road and hit redial. The same three rings and her message, followed by the precursory beep.

"I got cut off. Anyway, _it's over Tanya _and believe me I feel like a shit-heel for doing it like this--but you won't pick up the phone." I was so fucking sick of her games. This was just fucking like her.

"I want you to be happy--find someone who can do that for you. I'm here if you need to talk it through but there is no changing my mind," I sighed into my phone in aggravation. This was so fucked up--on so many levels. "I'll always love you---but I haven't been in love with you--maybe ever. I don't know--I'm rambling. I'm sorry for hurting you--and for everything else but, yeah that's it. Call me if you need. Be safe--and take care of yourself, alright?"

_Beep_.

The message cut off and I tossed my phone into the passenger seat like it was fucking contaminated.

Just like that---it was over. I said my piece--it was finally out of my mouth and into the world.

I was free. And now, my family--more precisely my parents--would have to live with the decision. There was no going back.

I focused on the roads. I made the turn onto the highway from residential streets. Less than ten-minutes at top speed and I would be at Bella's house.

I rolled down my window to feel the cold breeze whipping on my face and through my hair. I cranked the CD changer disk2 as high as I dared to let the custom system go without blowing my speakers. The Cure compilation I had created from my library of their works washed over me. The smooth yet angsty vocals of Robert Smith fucking owned me in that moment.

Charlotte, Sometimes.

Classic track. Fate fucking smiled on me. I felt redeemed.

I felt like myself again.

**

I pushed my luck on slick roads, closing the distance to _my Bella _and daring hell itself to try and fucking stop me. All this angst and bullshit and hiding behind the past was over and done for me. Just like Robert Smith sang--It had already been and gone.

I parked my Volvo a street over from Chief Swan's house. I had no idea if he was going to be waiting for me with a shotgun after our little meeting in the parking lot. So I figured inconspicuous might be best. Or maybe Bella had a plan for our meeting.

Not that it mattered either way. Charlie Swan wasn't going to keep me from his daughter. No one was--not my parents, Tanya or Bella herself. I was coming to claim what was mine.

And Bella knew where she belonged. I felt it in my fucking bones. My girl was in pain---and I was going to be her fucking cure.

I closed the distance on the small two story house. The lights on the first floor were dead but I could see caustic yellow luminescence bursting through the upstairs window that faced the street. Her bedroom.

The closer I drew to walkway the more details I could make out. The plaster painted green walls with violet colored curtains dangling down---sheer and offering no fucking protection from the outside world. Any God damn pervert could have driven by and gotten a glimpse of Bella all fucking vulnerable.

I wanted to board up her fucking window. My protective urge was soaring through me--even if this was Forks---the small fucking town that time and crime forgot.

I paused at the fence-line to the Swan property. I surveyed for signs of the police cruiser that should be parked outside--but there was nothing. Just that fucking abomination of a red truck. If it were a horse it would be lame and long past its prime. Fucking thing needed a gunshot through the engine--to finally put it down properly.

_Looks like Chief Swan isn't home._

My mind raced at the thought. I took a deep breath and drew up the back porch--where I had left in too much haste yesterday.

The reverberation of my boots on bare wood planks met me. I took the four steps to the door and lifted my hand.

_Chains of fate._

Alice's fucking vision had been spot-on. It was time to stop the fate that conspired against us. It wouldn't be pretty and it sure as hell wasn't going to be easy--but we were going to heal those fractures---tonight.

I inhaled sharply--readying myself for complete realization that was inking its way across my mind. In two days time, this girl had become my obsessive-fucking-world.

A groan slid out of my mouth and my body tensed instantly. It knew her even before I could register it.

Tangerine. Honey. _Bella._

The scent that rose to overtake me made me fucking ache. I licked my lips slowly---but something more pungent--more masculine started to overpower me.

Earth. Cumin. Sandalwood.

That scent wasn't Charlie Swan's. It wasn't anything I had encountered before---yet I knew instantly it was…threateningly male.

A fucking dog in heat.

My groan became a growl. Low and deep. I had to fight off the desire to mark my fucking territory. I raked my gloved hand through my hair and tried to steel myself. I didn't think Chief Swan would appreciate me pissing on his porch and all around his property.

I inhaled rapidly. That stench was everywhere--and the God damn spice of it made me clench my hands into fists.

My leather clad knuckles rapped hard against the door in three serendipitous knocks. Earth, Cumin and sandalwood even emanated from the frame of the door.

I was about to lose my shit. Right here.

I cocked my head and listened for sound. I expected an angry father or a righteously angsty Bella or maybe even the purveyor of that stench to come running to the door. But I heard nothing. No movement from within the confines.

I let the seconds drag. I knocked again. And then a third time.

I pounded my fist hard enough on that last set for me to see the glass quarter panels in the door shake. Still no answer.

I stepped backwards off the porch and looked up to that beacon of light emanating from the upstairs. I could see movement now--a shadow that passed over the wall near her bed.

It was Bella. I could tell by the subtle curve of the silhouette.

With a quick survey of the scene my eyes fell on the tree nearest her window. Its bony, thick branches reached out toward the house like a corpse.

I knew then--in an instant--what I had to do.

I was going to her.

Through her bedroom window.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N:

Think we have heard the last of Tanya?

Hardly! Muahahaha!

Now, we have met Jacob. A new trinity?

Special Info is coming to you at the very end of this note….*innocent whistle*

~~~)Squee(~~~

Breaking Trinity has been nominated for BEST LEMON!! Please stop by the site and show your love for all the authors you love to read! Its an honour to be nominated--and I have a fan girl moment every time I glance at the page and see some of my own favorite authors there. Show the love--rock the vote! (starts 12/27)

http://www(dot)shimmerawards(dot)webs(dot)com/

Breaking Trinity was listed in the 2009 Smut Hall of Fame over on RAoR in the 2009 TwiSmut Year in Review!http://robert-pattinson(dot)ca/2009/12/11/the-raor-twismut-year-in-review/

~~~)Recc'ing(~~~

1. Special Love to Twilightgma1954!! This lovely and glorious lady and her Book Club have donated all of the dues they have collected from that club to Twilighted(dot)net as a gift--in the name of Snarlward! Thank you for keeping the faith in BT and in all writers with your generous contribution!

2. Miracle1901--thank you for recc'ing Breaking Trinity! Please visit this author at:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2084875/Miracle1901

3. Huggles to Roxie Girl for Recc'ing Breaking Trinity out on RoAR:http://robert-pattinson(dot)ca/2009/12/13/twismut-sunday-art-after-5-the-cocky-and-the-cougar/comment-51412

4. Have you seen or recc'd Breaking Trinity? Drop me a PM with a linkie!! Let me return the LUV!

~~~)Luv(~~~

To my Glorious Beta Brits23--Solar flares? This Gal's got 'em. MINE MINE MINE. I love you, Brits baby~ MWAH!

Have you had a taste of her deliciously erotic Vampward fic? Oh my---get a drink and settle down. Make sure your Bare--to read Laid Bare.

Story Link: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/

1. To the Covenant, my sistah's of Snarl: Every word I write, I craft thinking about you all. I promise I wont let you down.

2. To the Twitterazzi--how did I get so blessed to have you all in one place at the same time? I must have won the lotto!

3. LambCullen, my Sassy, Seriously sexy sistah--I would love to walk around inside your hot-brain for just a minute. But I might squee too much for my own good!

~~~)More(~~~

Thank you--everyone who sent me reviews! I reply to as many as I can but I am just swamped with RL right now. If you didn't get a reply from me, still love me. I read every last one. And its those reviews that bring us to the next and most important note.

So--here comes the good news!

Our next chapter--will be brought to you live on WEDNESDAY 12/21, approximately 7pm EST That's right--Happy Holidays from me to you--it's a double posting week.

And yes--there will be conversation---and maybe even something a little citrus to get us through till the grand return of the Snarl.

Happy Holidays and thank you all--now, stop teasing me and give Snarlward and I---some love below. *waggles brow*


	21. Because the Night

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright. If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

_A/N1: I beg you please, read every last word of the A/N2!! Seriously!_

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 20: Because the Night...

*

BPOV

Jessica wasn't coming.

I got the call five minutes after she was supposed to be here. Her father felt the roads were unsafe. With the recent melt and the scant rain we received earlier in the day--the Pacific Northwest was hit by a cold snap.

That which had washed off--had frozen to ice on the asphalt.

What would that mean for…

_No. Stop it--right now. Don't you dare think about him._

I checked on my broccoli-cheese-potato--casserole I was preparing for Jessica's non-existent arrival and shuddered softly--with my arms wrapped around myself.

_Why did it feel like my chest had a huge and gaping hole in its center?_

Damn the weather and damn Edward Cullen.

I busied myself around the house. If idle hands were the devil's playground then none of hell's minions were coming for me tonight.

I folded laundry while another set washed. I dusted and swept and vacuumed.

I even cleaned my room.

Finally the over bearing scent of perfume--from the bottle I had broken over my bed in the early hours of the morning--was starting to dissolve. At the time, I would've done anything, in my insanity, to free myself from the scent that awed and owned me.

_Edward's scent. The memory of how we had christened my bed._

I fought back the visuals that flooded my mind, my shaking hand gripping the dust cloth as I carefully maneuvered around my room like a robot.

I lifted my cell phone to look for the message that would say--due to the condition of the roads--Edward wasn't coming. I could hardly expect him to travel in this weather for a talk I really wasn't prepared for.

A part of me just wanted to see him--to know he was alright. The stunt he pulled in Biology had me shaken up. For all of his intensity--his passion--he looked like he had finally just given up.

_That was what I wanted, wasn't it? To see him breaking?_

I felt the sting of tears prick my eyes.

Edward had hurt me. Why should I give a shit about his aura of defeat? He deserved it! Look what he had done to me--to his unsuspecting girlfriend!

_He is a monster._

I rubbed my gauze covered hand against my eyes and reached for the window--parting it from its mate with a groan. I needed air. My bedroom needed to breathe. I wanted all traces of Edward gone from my world--banished like the lascivious demon he was.

But I couldn't fight this feeling--this inane knowledge that we---well, we _belonged_…

_Stop it! Stop it now or you'll go crazy!_

I promised myself I would only check my cell phone one more time. With whatever decency Edward Cullen had left in his body--he had to send me a message that he wasn't going to make it tonight.

Nothing.

I set my phone down and let it continue to charge.

I had to find a way to keep myself busy. It was only eight-o-clock but it felt like the night was never going to end.

So, I did what any sane person would do. I called to check on my dad. Charlie answered on the third ring and told me the roads were bad. He said he had spoken to Mr. Stanley and knew that Jess wasn't coming over--there had already been too many accidents on the road to risk two lives for something as simple as studying.

I made him promise me he would be safe. Charlie swore on his life he was going to be just fine. And I believed him.

No matter how messed up the situation was at home--with my restriction and the answers to questions I wasn't ready to give my dad, if anything happened to him I would never forgive myself.

I made sure to tell Charlie that I loved him. That I was sorry I was such a disappointment. My words hung heavy in the virtual air between us until my dad finally said something almost too profound.

_You're a good kid, Bells. I couldn't ask for better--I know it's not easy being a teenager and being in a new school but remember, I love you, kiddo. Don't go down the wrong paths--I have too much faith in you for that kind of crap._

Charlie was a good man. And even if we didn't see eye to eye--even if I couldn't give him the information he wanted on why I had lied to him and what my involvement with Edward Cullen was--I still respected him. I still loved him.

I was still sorry I was such a disappointment to him.

Maybe there was something to be said for being on restriction. It sure as hell gave me plenty of time to think and I had only been locked into vacancy for a few hours.

With a heavy sigh, I decided to call my mom. Renee knew--the second she heard my voice--that something was wrong. What was I supposed to tell her?

So I kept the conversation light. I feigned tiredness and anxiety from the change over of Phoenix to Forks. I know Renee didn't buy it but she let me have my moment, for whatever it was worth.

I locked up the downstairs when our conversation was done. It was already after nine and I decided--since the house was clean and dinner for tomorrow was prepared--I had no recourse left but to study.

I killed the lights downstairs and walked up to my room. Before I delved into my books, I grabbed my pajamas and headed to the bathroom. Charlie wasn't due to be home till morning, so after I changed I decided to unwrap my hand and let the self-inflicted wounds breathe.

I washed the area thoroughly, wincing slightly as I worked the skin of my knuckles gently with soap and water. The scabbing didn't lift--that was a good sign. Maybe it would mend itself together if I took the time to give it just a little extra attention.

I reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out the first aid cream, sighing as the antibiotic ointment soaked into the reddened area with almost thirsty tenacity. I attended my other, more basic needs and drew my hair up into a pony tail.

Once I was fully seated in my room, I glared at my cell phone. The LED light wasn't flashing--and that meant no new messages. But I would be damned if I didn't want to race over to where my cell charged--just to double check it.

_No. Be Strong._

And Fuck Edward Cullen for not having the decency to even text me to tell me how he was homebound with the ice and the roads and the damn weather conditions.

_Maybe he was with his girlfriend, Tanya._

I mumbled under my breath and flopped down on my bed. With every last drop of irritation and unresolved anger--I tore open my Psychology book and brought my pen to my lips. I chewed against the black cap slowly--still seething--still hurt.

Yes, _hurt_. I knew a part of me wanted to see him—even if I wasn't ready to.

**Knock.**

_What the hell? Where did that come from? Did I miss something being in the bathroom so long with the water in the sink running?_

My eyes bolted open and widened. The pen dropped from my mouth as I looked around the room--completely taken aback by the sound.

**Knock. Knock. **

_Sun. Sand._

Edward. The scent of him was coming at me--through my partially opened bedroom window.

_Oh. Shit._

My book dropped from my lap as I jumped up, my eyes on the parted portal. He was here. Very real, very in the moment--and very much in the flesh.

Edward's hand reached to push my window back in the very moment I mimicked the action, both of us trying to further shift the portal open at the same time.

_Oh my God._

His eyes met mine--verdant green and shimmering with emerald brilliance. It took my breath away.

I backed up, sputtering my breath as he passed through the window, like a ghost transubstantiating into my world. But he was real---so very, incredibly real.

"Edward." I was breathless as he easily shifted and rolled up to his full height before me. My fingers clutched against my throat.

I felt faint. Overwhelmed.

"What--what are you doing here?"

"I told you I would come for you." His voice was breathy and low. His eyes held mine and I could feel the agony burn me--it made me want to reach out and press myself against him.

"The roads," I gasped weakly. I didn't know if I had the strength left in me to fight the pull I felt to him. _God help me_.

"Nothing will stop me. Not anymore." Edward slowly withdrew his coat, letting it fall onto my floor without even a glance as to its whereabouts. "Not even Tanya--it's over. I'm here to confess my sins Bella--I'm here to claim what's mine."

_I couldn't think straight. _

"Edward--I'm not…." I let out a breathless cry as he took a step closer. I felt the pull--magnetic and electric--gliding between us.

"You _are_ _mine_." Everything about him was pure intensity. His piercing green eyes held me with an almost clandestine desire. "I can't be away from you Bella--tell me you don't feel it? This fucking pull that makes me need you--desperate to fucking touch you. Please Bella---please, let me touch you."

"We can't." I felt the fog of his scent, his nearness descend on me. It was too much. The pull. The fire. _Need--anger--pain._

"It hurts to be even _this_ far away from you," he groaned, taking another step closer. My body shivered--_No_--we couldn't do this. We shouldn't even be here--this was a bad idea.

But I couldn't….stop myself…

I didn't have the strength to stay away from Edward Cullen anymore.

"Why--tell me why---I don't understand this need to be near you," I said even as I backed away, almost afraid of admitting the truth aloud.

Edward was right and I knew it.

He approached me slowly and my eyes widened with confusion, anger and lust and--the need to have answers.

"I don't know--but I'm done questioning it." He reached for me and I tried desperately to keep my wits about me. _Don't give in to it, Bella._

It all happened so fast.

Edward reached for me and in one single moment--the electricity of his touch brought down every wall I had built.

I wanted to cry--in anger at myself. Anger at him. _Why couldn't I fight this? _

His arms encircled me, drawing me in tight to his body--wrapping around me in an almost vice-like hold. My nose pressed to the line of his shoulder.

I was overcome.

_Sun. Sand. Edward's leathery musk._

Relief.

"Fuck," he growled, burying himself in my hair. I could feel his lips move against the strands. "This is where you are meant to be--never a God damn step further."

I wanted to sob---to scream and tear my eyes out at the sweet ecstasy that swirled through me when I was pressed into his body this way. But I could feel all of the anger was still present-- flaming through me--desperate to break free like a beast thrashing into the bars of its cage.

I was so weak.

**

EPOV

I fought with the duality of my very nature.

For her.

I ached for Bella--to touch her and bring her pleasure. But here in my arms--that wound around her like steel, I knew I could _not_ have her until she accepted me. I could _not_ taste her until I had confessed my sins.

She was my absolution.

There was much to say--I didn't know where to begin.

"Bella," I whispered against her hair, refusing to let her move an inch from my body. Fuck, she felt so good against me. "I need to tell you everything. I need to get it all out and in the open--now. Fuck, I don't know if I can control myself long enough."

I was brutally honest. When she moaned in response to me, I wanted to throw her on the bed and rip off her God damn flannel pajamas. I felt like I had to wrestle with my dick--spiritually--to prevent it from actually happening.

"Try," she whimpered and I could hear her taking hits off of my scent. She was so fucking ready to receive me.

"I will. Damn me to hell--I will," I growled and I could smell her heat rising in response. Wet Wildflowers. _Jesus-H-Christ_.

_Hold it steady, Cullen._

My hands roamed up her back until my fingers could feel the edge of her shoulders--right to the fucking edge of the mark I had left on her. _My Mark_. "Bella," I started and it was the hardest God damn thing to find a way to form my feelings into words.

I just wasn't built that way.

So, I started again. With my hands sliding down and clutching against her back I held her to me--raging fucking hard-on and all.

_We had to do this--we had to talk._

"Bella--I used to be a real shit of a guy. I mean that--I was fucking before I was really old enough to be doing it--drinking--partying. When my family lived in Seattle, I used to drain the bottles in the liquor cabinet and fucking replace them with water." I took a heavy pull of her scent into me.

_Fuck, she smelled so good._

I groaned and tightened my hold on my girl.

My hips arched against her--I couldn't fucking help it. And that fucking moan that met my dick when I collided with her torso--fuck, it tested my will.

_Focus, Cullen._

"I was fifteen, Bella---and Tanya was visiting just after her parents died in a wreck in Alaska. Fucking-black-ice and a guard rail that didn't hold." I ran my nose from her hair down toward her neck. I needed more.

_Tangerine. Honey. Wet-Wildflowers_.

Fuck, my girl wanted me.

_Stay strong, Cullen. Blow this and you blow your chance--for good..._

"Our families have been--family--forever. Like, all the way back before Emm was born. Shit, Tanya's sisters Irina, Carmen and Kate were already in school when Alice and I were born." I arched against her slowly. Fuck, I couldn't help myself.

"Edward," Bella whimpered and I could feel her trying to pull away from me.

"No, listen to me--you fucking have to!" I growled and tightened my hold on her. I felt her nose against my shirt--dragging in frantic scents of me.

I skimmed my lips along the edge of her delicate ear. I couldn't stop myself when my tongue darted against the curvaceous flesh there.

Her whimper almost destroyed me.

"One night, Bella--after her parents died, Tanya came to the house to stay with our family. We were so fucking bored that I started slipping her some of my drinks--and we stole my father's car." I could feel my girl's breath on the skin of my neck.

Fuck, I was barely holding on.

"I took her to a party--and even at fifteen--I had chicks throwing themselves at me. I fucked some random girl in the back room while Tanya waited for me--drinking just as God damn heavy as I was." I took the lobe of her ear between my teeth and tugged softly.

Bella mewled and pressed herself into me. Fuck.

"She was bored and pissed off--she wanted to go back to the house. I told her I was alright to drive." Bella's hands slid against my shirt--I could feel her nails beneath the material.

"But I wasn't alright, Bella. I was wrecked--and she started talking all fucking philosophical--like she could be the girl for me. Like she could stop me from becoming Emmett when he ran with gangs in Seattle--"

"Emmett--ran with gangs?" Bella asked, slowly pulling back.

For the first time in minutes--my eyes met with hers. Chocolate brown. Dark pools so deep I could fucking drown in them.

"Yeah--we lived in the city and he fell in with the wrong crowd. My father Carlisle was always working and my mother Esme did her best to keep us in line. But we are fucking stubborn." Her eyes--I could see myself reflected in my Bella's eyes.

I wasn't a monster. I was a man on the edge--fighting for the only thing that fucking mattered.

"Emm started running with the gangs and got in a shit load of trouble--that's the reason we moved to Forks. To get away from that Big-city influence, as my mother says." I pressed my hands along her spine and felt Bella melt to my touch.

"Go on," she encouraged. I could see confliction in her eyes. But her scent--fuck me--her scent was right on the God damn money.

_Want. Need. I could almost taste her._

"I drove home from the party--shit faced as I was--and Tanya was talking all this shit and started jerking me off while I was gassing it down the road." I felt Bella tense but I held her to me, refusing to let go. "I hit a tree--on the passenger side. She almost fucking died."

It still fucking hurt me to think about it. To remember it. But I wouldn't take my eyes off Bella--no, she needed to see me bare.

"I stayed by her bedside--I even-fucking-prayed. I promised God and Buddha and the Dali-fucking-Llama--that I would do right by her. If Tanya woke up--I would make a change in my life and do the fucking right thing. And she did. Bella--she woke up and I thought my fucking prayers were answered."

I leaned in and took another hit off of her scent. God-damn. I had to focus.

"I bartered my life for hers. And I tried--I thought I could love her and I mean I did--but like family. We had grown up together, in a sense. But--she and I were never compatible, as much as I tried. And for the last year and a half I've been living a lie---dying inside to keep my promises. Don't you see Bella--I was never fucking in love with her--I was trying to do what's right--trying to make my parents love and trust me again--trying to keep my word."

"You cheated on her--your promises--they were bullshit." Bella cut me to the bone when she said it because it was so God damn true.

"I knew that the moment I met you--when I couldn't stay away at that party in Port. I even tried to lock myself away from you--but you found me…and it was fucking right. So fucking right."

There I was--open, exposed and vulnerable.

"Edward," Bella whimpered, trying once more to pull away from me. I could feel her shivering in my arms--her intoxicating aroma destroying me.

"Let me finish." My eyes held hers. Sternly, commandingly. "Bella--I don't have the strength to stay away from you."

**

BPOV

"You have to try and find that strength. This--this is a mistake, Edward. You need to go." I wrenched myself out of his grip.

He was stone still, in the middle of my bedroom.

I started pacing.

Too much to digest--too much to wrap my head around. Now I knew his story--and the fact that he stayed with a girl he didn't love for the past year and a half was profound.

Profoundly selfless--and stupid at the same time.

Edward Cullen was a liar--and a good one at that. Not _only_ could he cheat but he could selfishly keep a relationship going at the same time.

The moment his leather gloved hands were off of me, I felt actual pain--right in my stomach. I wanted to rush back into his arms and simultaneously run downstairs just to be further away from him.

_What was wrong with me?_

"Your hand--it should have had stitches," Edward said in a soft voice. The change in subject threw me for a complete loop. I turned to meet his eyes, questioningly.

That was a mistake.

His emerald gaze was on my hand--brows knitted together, creating a crease in his forehead. I realized then--that Edward was…worried.

"Its fine," I tried to shake off the overwhelming anxiety that was starting to creep into my core. I hadn't even thought about him seeing my insanity-induced, self inflicted wounds. I had taken the bandage off to let the area breathe--I didn't think he was going to be here and yet, he was standing right in my room, right now.

_Stop it, Bella. He's a liar._

And still, I just couldn't break the hold.

"Are you going to tell me how it happened?" I could hear the bass in his voice. It wasn't a question it was a command. Why--did I feel my thighs tremble?

"Don't worry about it," I continued pacing--only now I was shaking too.

Sun. Sand. Edward's leathery musk.

My body remembered him. It craved him. I ran my hand through my hair, tugging the ends. I was going out of my mind--but somehow, I had to fight this pull.

"I _am_ worried about it." Edward stalked closer to me, sliding his gloves off as I tried desperately not to pay attention. I kept moving--when I glanced up to him--the burn of his eyes had taken on a dangerous brilliance that could have threatened to destroy me.

And break down my walls.

He tossed his leather gloves to the floor--and the smell of copper--of blood--made me stop. Without so much as an internal command, my eyes were on his right hand.

The knuckles had been broken open--an injury almost mirroring my own. How did it get there? Was it the tree he climbed to get into my window?

I backed away as he advanced--but it was too late.

Edward captured me and dragged me in against him. I felt my breath leave my lungs.

My walls crumbled. My body betrayed me.

His skin was against mine.

"Enough running Bella," he growled and my hips arched to meet him.

"Don't," I gasped. I wanted to struggle--to fight him back and scream every horrible thing I called him in my head--directly to his face. I wanted to but I--_I couldn't_.

"We're done playing cat-and-mouse." The rasp of his voice--the need and desperation made me shiver. "I'm not going to pressure you to tell me what the fuck has hurt you--your hand, your heart--your very soul. I've got nothing but time."

The heat of his breath washed against my lips and my body arched against him.

Edward growled at the contact and I could smell my own heat filling the space between us.

_What was it about him that completely destroyed me?_

"Say something to me—anything." His nose brushed the side of my cheek--his breath hitched and I heard him draw in my scent.

"I--I can't." I closed my eyes and my palms pressed flat against his chest. I was vibrating with need--shaking as I pressed my thighs together--desperate for friction, for anything to quell this ache. _Please God, help me._

Edward's fingers slid into my hair. My head tilted back and his lips followed my movement. The plush, feathery heat of his mouth skimmed my jaw and slowly traced down against my neck.

"Bella," he breathed against me. I was lost--the battle was over, if only for the moment.

I needed this. I needed him.

"Edward," I moaned and I felt his teeth graze my neck. He tightened his hold, pressuring me harder against him.

"Fuck," he groaned and his tongue lapped out to taste my skin, laving over his mark. I started to tremble as I slid my hands up his shoulders--my nails pressuring into his skin through his shirt.

A guttural rumble slid past his lips the moment my traveling fingers slithered into his hair. I could feel the enamel of his teeth against my neck and the trail of his tongue and moist breath leaving a wet trail on my skin.

I needed more. With a sudden, primal ferocity that overtook me, I had to have more.

It was wrong--I was angry---but I was aching and craving and ready for a hit of my drug.

My fingers gripped into wild bronze and with a hiss, I tugged on the very roots.

The reaction was immediate and intense and everything I needed at that moment.

Edward was on me--pinning me against the wall before I even realized what was happening. My breath left my lips as my spine connected with plaster.

"Fuck," he snarled, his hips forcing against mine--making me open to him. I gasped and his mouth descended, swallowing every hiss and moan and breath.

My teeth gnashed his lip as his tongue slid against mine in a primal dance. I pushed myself deeper into the kiss--drinking the taste of him as my fingers returned to--and tortured--his wild mane.

The struggle was feral.

This wasn't like me.

I challenged his mouth--his dominance--his lust.

He gave even better than he received.

Edward pressed me harder into the wall--his thick cock arching into my hip with the movement. His hands gripped my wrists--dragging them out of his hair and holding them against the plaster.

It wasn't gentle--God damn, I had never felt him like this.

**

EPOV

I was fucking crazed.

Her lips, her tongue--her fucking heat. She had finally snapped my tenuous self control like a God damn twig.

I tasted the challenge--a fucking call to arms. She was _mine_--and even if she didn't know it yet, my Bella was asking me to prove it.

I'd be God damned if she thought I was going to back the fuck away now.

I pressured her wrists to the wall and forced her to part her beautiful fucking thighs. My dick was leaking--hungry for a taste my Bella. So I angled, thrusting my hips into her, driving myself against her--through her flimsy pajamas--and right into her throbbing clit.

Bella arched her head back, breaking the kiss with a hiss.

"Right fucking there?" I chuckled darkly, reminding her just how fucking hard she made me--just how bad I wanted to take her. _Fuck, I was going to make her scream for me._

"Is that all you've got, Cullen?" She hissed again and her narrow wrists struggled against my grip. I felt her arch her hips back as her eyes gleamed with pure fuck- hot malevolence.

"You're about to fucking find out," I growled and released one of her wrists. I practically ripped her fucking pajama bottoms and icy lavender panties down her thighs.

Bella's hand was in my hair, tugging for all she was worth as I opened her to me. _Fuck_, the scent of her burned into me with the sweetest fucking pain.

I didn't waste a single God damn second.

"Look at me," I growled. The moment her eyes met mine, I slid two fingers fast and deep into her aching pussy. Fuck, she was wet--and the second I felt her coat my fingers, I lost my shit.

"Oh God," Bella cried out, arching back against the wall as I curled my fingers inside of her, fucking her E-spot like a vicious onslaught. My thumb pressured her hot little clit and my girl spread her thighs like they were on fire.

"That's the fucking music," I snarled as she rocked back and forth with the force of my finger-fuck, every sweet cry was pure and delicious pain ricocheting through my blood.

The hot sound of her dripping cunt meeting me had me growling between breaths.

"Sing for me, fucking-louder---" There was no challenging me now--nothing but a roar of gasping breaths to accompany her symphony of shrill moans. "That's my girl."

"Edward---oh God--please…" Fuck--I was an animal and her begging, panting breaths made me thrash wildly against my captivity.

"It's not '_Cullen_' when you're begging for me, is it Bella?" I felt her practically fucking vibrating with need around my fingers. Such fucking harmony--what a glorious God damn pitch.

"Please," my girl cried out--shrill and perfect and dangling on the edge. I continued to massage her, tormenting her clit and E-spot. _God damn, the sounds she made…._

"Say it, Bella--fucking say it. I'll give you the world--I'll give you everything you could ever ask for." My breath was ragged and wet against her lips. I flicked her plush velvet torturously.

_Fuck, she brought out the beast in me._

"Edward," she cried out, arching her hips against me--desperate for release, for the friction only I could give her. Her eyes held mine--wincing with desire as she tried to form the words that were fucking intrinsic to her soul.

"Say it--out loud," I growled, torn in two with an aching to hear the words and the desire to watch her come apart all around my fingers.

"Please--Edward--yours! I'm yours." Her lower lip was trembling. _So close…._

"Fucking yes you _are_--mine. _My Bella_," I leaned into her, holding her eyes and as she gasped, I thrust and curled my fingers shallow and fast inside of her.

"Fall apart for me Bella--Cum for me. _Now_." I snarled and I felt her shudder so beautifully deep inside. _So fucking responsive---so fucking hot for what only_ I _can give to her._

Bella shook violently against me, her body arching with my pure fucking possession. She pulled me in against her mouth as she started to come undone--her dripping pussy milking me in gloriously violent spasms.

Bella's fucking screams---were the cries of utter breaking. The walls were down---she was mine and she fed them to me, breathing and moaning and crying like a banshee as I brought her off.

I drowned myself in her scent--I was going under, ripped in two by the waves of her cresting. I knew I was never going to fucking resurface.

"Mine," I took her mouth with brutal gentility as I continued to torment her--making her shake with aftershocks.

"Edward," she cried out, breathlessly. _Fuck, how she whimpered my name._

I couldn't take it anymore.

My fingers slid out of her body and I fell to my fucking knees.

I brushed my nose against the wet-alter of her sex, against her throbbing clit as she gasped. My hands gripped her naked hips and I drew her to me--to my awaiting, hungry, selfish mouth.

"Fuck," I snarled as my tongue snaked between her perfect, pink pussy lips.

I was a starving animal and she was the only thing that could ever fucking sustain me.

My tongue and teeth and lips drove against her--lapping with pure animal ferocity. I wanted to be inside of her--devouring her from the inside out.

I parted her body with my tongue--drinking her release like a God damn Vampire on an open wound.

Oh, sweet fucking Christ--her taste.

"Edward--oh---don't stop--" Her fingers were in my hair, tugging me deeper between her legs. She braced her shoulders against the wall--stretching her body just to give herself to me.

My girl fed me.

And I ate her without a single scrap of table manners.

"Fuck, Bella--" I gasped for air, feeling her hot juices--her velvet fucking pussy all over my lips, my chin my face.

I was shaking as I felt her gorgeous pussy convulse around my tongue--squeezing the tip as she cried out above me.

Oh God---I was so fucked. So lost--so aching and needing and overcome.

Bella came again, hard and writhing and hissing every breath. I was met with a fresh wave of her--and I licked and nipped and sucked greedily at every flicker of her taste.

My head bowed as I gripped her hips, letting her drip onto my tongue. I was over the fucking edge--there was no absolution. I didn't register the fucking tribal, primal noises that fell out of my mouth.

I was too wound up--shaking and gripping and licking my girl till I knew she would wear my fucking bruises.

Fuck--I was so close. And she hadn't even touched me.

Bella's taste--her scent--fuck--I couldn't hold it back.

"Edward," Bella moaned and her begging breath dragged me over the edge. I flicked her clit with my tongue, making her writhe against the wall. "Show me."

"I'm--fuck--Bella--" a tortured fucking cry broke out of my mouth and my body tensed hard enough to make me snap my head back. I held her eyes---and she knew.

My girl knew what she did to me--her taste, her scent. She could bring me off with only my need for her.

Her hand gripped my hair _tight_--and I lost it right fucking there--on my knees--my skin glistening with Bella's release.

I came hard. A feral growl that rumbled my chest and shook the foundation of my soul. Hot spurts of my release settled between skin and cottom but I didn't give a shit--my girl was all around me--all over my face, my fingers, my mouth.

Fuck---she was mine.

But God damnit, I was hers too.

**

BPOV

I sank down to my knees beside him, once I had adjusted myself.

Shaking and desperate to regain my breath, all I could do was look into Edward's verdant green eyes--searching for something. I wasn't sure what I was trying to find--maybe nothing more than answers.

I couldn't explain what had overtaken me--what had just happened here in my room but I knew it felt right, even if it was wrong. I just couldn't control myself when I was with him.

Edward reached out his shaking fingers and I could smell myself all over his skin. We fit together down to the core of our very fluids. He traced the edge of my cheek so gently--so feathery light I could do nothing more than shiver.

I took his hand in mine and looked down at the knuckles--distracting myself from his eyes. I knew if I looked into them once more I was going to lose my soul forever.

"What happened to your hand?" I asked in a quivering voice, too small for my own mouth.

"I got into a fight with a wall--and it won," he snickered self deprecatingly. "Maybe it should have been my head, it's harder after all."

"Was it because of me?" I ghosted my fingers along the shorn skin, still caked with dried blood.

"I can't--be away from you Bella," Edward spoke in a voice I had never heard before. It was warm and possessive and--almost innocent. I could almost taste the truth of his words in the breath that spilled past his lips.

"I--I got the message from Jessica when I woke up this morning," I said and still without looking up. "When I found out--I lost touch with reality and I--I tried to stop myself from screaming and ended up biting my own skin--to do this," I exposed my hand to him--too ashamed to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella--I swear I have never been more sorry in my life." His voice was cracking ever so gently---anyone else might have barely noticed. I was so in tuned with him that I swore if we were planets we would orbit each other and that kind of gravity would keep us bound for a lifetime.

"I was cheated on by James, my ex boyfriend. I found his lab partner riding him in his car back in February." It ran out of my mouth like wine from a bottle. When I closed my eyes I could still see it all behind the lids.

We were both still on our knees, facing each other, my fingers ghosting over his battered knuckles. I needed to touch him, just as surely as I needed air.

Especially now and in this moment.

"Edward--her name was Victoria and what you did--the way you lied to me--you just made me equal with her. You made me become the one thing I hate more than anything in this world. Just like Victoria--I was the catalyst to destroy your relationship."

"Stop. Right there. Bella--you weren't what killed Tanya and I. We were already dead." The tension in the room shifted and now, I finally met his eyes. I could read the pain and the anguish but also his version of truth bound in his emerald gaze. "I know what you think but, Bella--I never lied to you."

_The hell, you say?_

"The hell you didn't." I growled in anger.

What happened next was guided purely by instinct.

My hand--raised up by itself and it lashed out against his unsuspecting flesh.

The slap echoed in the silence of the room and I gasped, in abject horror at what I had just done. I---hit--him. In pure indignation and a burst of fury, I had left a red mark across his cheek.

"I deserve that," Edward said through clenched teeth, his eyes darkening. "But I _never_ lied to you, Bella."

I felt my fingers tremble, but this time I kept control of myself. "How could you say that?" My voice had risen from a careful whisper to an outright scream of anger.

I stood up like a gunshot had gone off and Edward was right behind me. Shame, anger, betrayal, memories. Everything burned through me at once.

"You--you cheated on your girlfriend--you and I did _everything_ we did and you never told me about her, you never gave me the choice! Omission is as good as a lie, Cullen!"

Charlie's words were coming out of my mouth.

"_Good as_--is not--equal to, Bella," he said with a narrow of his eyes. "I was the asshole and I know that--but neither of us ever stopped to ponder the fucking consequences of what we were doing."

"Excuse me?" I growled and Edward stood straighter--feeling the threat I was emanating. "How fucking dare you!"

I seldom dropped an 'F' bomb, but right now--it rolled out of my lips like the red carpet at the Oscars.

"I wasn't by myself in Laurent's room in Port Angeles, was I? I certainly wasn't by myself and here in your room yesterday, either." I could see that sense of seething indignation writhing through him--but his voice, it never raised. It grew only deeper.

I swore I saw red. Like a Bull getting ready to charge the Matador in some pointless, barbaric spectators ring.

_Focus, Bella. Breathe._

"Neither of us ever stopped to ask questions--fuck, I didn't even know your name until yesterday and yet you're all I could think about, that entire weekend and every moment since then." Edward rubbed his hand against his cheek--flushed pink after my minor assault.

I tried to calm down. I tried to see beyond myself. I knew Edward had a point but this _thing_ we had with each other, it wasn't healthy--it was dangerous.

_Obsession. Addiction. Need._

_James. Victoria. Tanya._

I was the victim here. And Edward was daring to show me how I should share blame and guilt in this situation?

I was innocent. I never asked for this.

_For someone with such a fear of being hurt--you have no sense of self-preservation._

"Bella." Edward reached out his hand to me. I could see the broken skin of his knuckles shift with the effort.

_Run away and save what's left or your sanity._

"You need to leave," I growled--at him, at myself. At the voice of my conscience that threatened to open my eyes to the truth. I wasn't ready--I wasn't strong enough.

"I won't leave you," he narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to me. "You're _mine_."

"I lied," I retorted and I could see him take my words like a physical blow.

_Touché._

Before this struggle could continue, the sound of a cell-phone started to chime at my feet. I bent down stiffly to retrieve his jacket and unceremoniously handed it to him.

Edward took the jacket but ignored the first three consecutive sounds before lifting it out of the pocket, looking at the Blackberry display screen.

"It's home," he said with a frown and started to put the phone back where it came from. "It can wait."

"You should probably get it---I mean the roads are icy and your family is probably worried sick about you." I shifted on the floor, biting the edge of my lip.

His eyes held mine and I knew we weren't done here.

Edward nodded once and I tried not to listen to the male voice I heard on the other end of the phone.

Emmett.

**

EPOV

I wasn't giving up.

Bella slapped me and I deserved it. She wanted me out of her room and I didn't know if I could give her the space she needed. So I stood my ground.

My eyes held hers and I could see the flares of anger lapping inside of her fathomless brown eyes.

I had been called many things in my life--most of which I deserved. But I wasn't a God damn liar. When the hell did the rules get changed? I failed to get a fucking memo that stated 'unintentional omitting of information' had now changed God damn categories.

The truth is--when I'm with her, my fucking filters shut off and the world around me goes dead. There is nothing in this world if it isn't my Bella.

I felt my frozen heart clench. _Fuck, don't tell me Emmett was right----_

When my phone rang and Bella thrust my jacket at me, I jostled out of that train of thought--effectively derailing it. I was ready to let it go to voicemail--only my family would be calling me this late and since the roads were shit, they were probably freaked.

Or else, it was Tanya.

I had no choice but to look now. I had made a promise in that voicemail that if Tanya needed to talk I would be here to listen--so long as she knew everything was over and done with.

I had fucked up enough on my promises to Tanya. I resolved I was going to keep this one.

When I lifted my Crackberry and saw the display, I nearly sighed in relief.

"It's home." More than likely it was Carlisle wondering if we were going to be having that dinner we had agreed on this afternoon. My eyes flashed back to Bella and I silenced the ringer. "It can wait."

"You should probably get it---I mean the roads are icy and your family is probably worried sick about you," Bella said and she had a good point.

I nodded and brought the phone to my ear, unlocking the slider to answer.

It was Emmett.

"Bro--I've been texting you for twenty fucking minutes--where the hell are you?" His agitation caused me to clench my jaw.

"I'm with Bella--what's got your panties in a twist?" I huffed and returned the aggravation.

"We've got a situation here," Emm said and I could hear him muffling his voice into the phone.

Oh. Shit.

"Go on," I swallowed and cast my eyes up into Bella's. For a brief and beautiful second I watched her chew on her lip and her eyes softened. I smirked at the sight of her.

I felt almost hopeful.

And then the words came that threatened to fucking destroy me.

"Tanya's here--with Laurent. There's been--a situation," Emm was on the move with the cordless house phone.

_I just couldn't catch a fucking break._

I heard my father in the background asking if Emmett had reached me. I could faintly hear the sound of crying--and the soothing voice of my mother, Esme. The phone exchanged hands and I knew what was coming next.

Fuck. Me.

This was going to be--unpleasant.

"Edward?" I heard a very strong, solemn tone in my father's voice. The one reserved for serious disappointment, chastisement or pure, internal agony.

"Dad," I said in a heavy and somber voice. "What's going on?"

"I need you to come home as quickly as you can--the roads are bad so please be careful." Carlisle wasn't wasting time.

"Dad, what is going on?" I repeated, emphasizing my words. If Tanya had gotten to him and turned this shit around….

….Yeah, I would fucking deserve it. I'd take it like a man. But I wasn't leaving here without Bella knowing the truth.

She was mine. But I wanted more. I wanted her to be my girl.

Carlisle sighed heavily in my ear. I stilled in place and got ready for the tongue lashing of a lifetime.

"Tanya's sister Irina---has had a terrible accident. We will need to leave for Alaska on the first available flight." I heard the tremble in my father's voice.

"Is she?" I stopped myself before tempting fate. If I didn't say it out loud, maybe it wouldn't be true.

"Yes, son."

_Oh. God._

It couldn't be.

I wasn't prepared for this.

I took the news like a blow to the face. The DeNali family was like our own--and I swallowed hard as the realizations started washing over me.

"I'm on my way, Dad," I managed. Barely.

"Be safe, Edward." Emotion was threatening to break through Carlisle's voice. Irina, Kate, Carmen and Tanya might as well have been his own daughters.

They were family.

"I will, Dad." I hit the end button on my Crackberry and the screen was shimmying in my fingers. That was when I realized I was actually shaking.

"Edward--is everything alright?" Bella asked, drawing herself closer to me. It was like she could feel the emotions--the pain and loss and sadness coming over me.

Her anger ebbed away like a tidal wave and she reached for me. My girl--reached for _me_.

"No—Bella, that was…bad news," I braced my trembling fingers against her cheek, gently. "There has been an accident--a death in my extended family. Tanya's sister, Irina--and we have to leave on the next flight to Alaska."

"Edward--I---I'm so sorry," I saw her gasp at the connection made between us, skin to skin. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes searched mine.

Fuck, she was the only person in the world that could have held me together at this moment.

The last thing I wanted to do was leave her.

For who knows how long.

**

BPOV

Every last defense I had was broken down and laying in ruins at his feet.

The look of pain in his eyes, a verdant meadow shadowed by twilight, made my heart threaten to break in half, all over again. I would do anything--be anything--to never see him like that.

My Edward.

I reached out to him, no longer giving a shit about propriety or my own self-contained angst. He couldn't go through this alone. I wouldn't let him.

I wrapped my arms around Edward, feeling him shaking against me--returning the embrace with so much more emotion than I even believed he could possess.

Edward breathed against my hair, I could feel his nose plastered up against the dark tendrils and I clutched him even tighter to me.

I couldn't tell how long we stood there, wound around each other like the world was about to end. I didn't want to let him go and I could feel that very sentiment ricocheting off of him, like a gunshot.

"Bella," Edward pulled back slowly, dragging in audible breaths of my scent into his body. I shivered at the sensation and drew my eyes up into his.

"Edward," I replied, letting the taste of his name roll gently out of my lips. He looked exhausted and anguished and so incredibly vulnerable.

"I know we haven't fixed us--but I want there to be an _us_," Hope glimmered behind his eyes. One small sparkle from that shadowy meadow of verdant green.

I drew in my own shaking breath.

Sun. Sand. _Us._

"I know I've fucked this up but Bella please--don't give up on me," Edward said with such anguish. It hurt me to think how much pain I had caused him.

His hand slid along my cheek, ghosting against me as though I weren't even real. Maybe I hadn't been more than a broken spirit this entire time, clinging to the past as a way to avoid the future.

It washed over me so fast, I felt myself gasp.

He wasn't James.

I wasn't Victoria.

There was a chance, a single narrow moment where I could decide the truth of these realizations. This was my clarion call and I now it became a matter of two choices.

Could I take the chance to step onto this road with him or would I have to turn around and walk away?

My eyes held his and my body still thrumming from the intimate contact. The pure electricity of our skin joined together made me shudder.

"I won't give up on you Edward--but I don't know if I'm ready to give in," I said as I placed my hand over his, bringing his palm flush to my cheek.

"All I need is a chance, even if it's only a fool's hope." As Edward held my eyes with his, I dared to imagine a life--here or otherwise--without the chance of being with him.

"We can talk about it when you get home from Alaska," I said softly and his fingers slid beneath my chin, turning my face up to meet his.

"I'm coming back for you, Bella," he whispered and I could taste his breath, warm and moist as his lips slid against my own. The gentle thrum of his electricity sparked into me, igniting a torrent of emotion from my frozen heart.

Edward twined his tongue against my own with sacred fluidity. I could hear the gentle undercurrent of his moan fill my mouth and I eagerly drowned myself in the sweet taste of him.

My fingers slid into his hair gently and I felt his touch dance slowly toward the join of my neck and shoulder--to his mark. I whimpered gently against him.

No--I couldn't live without the chance to fix us.

_Us._

How did my thoughts change so suddenly? I had been ready to let go--to curse and hate and forever banish the thoughts I had for him.

Maybe fate was on our side.

Maybe when you're ready to lose something--you can finally start to see everything.

My something was Edward Cullen.

And maybe he was supposed to be my everything, as well.

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A/N2: Please read all the way through this Note for very important update information.

~~~)Come, They Told me(~~~

To the Covenant of the Snarl, the Twitterazzi, LambieCullen, Twilightgma1954 and the Club.….

To each and every one of you….that have made it this far, so far.

May the Holidays bring you a sense of joy and tradition, family and friends and a wine cup that always runneth over!

Thank you for every kind word--for every recommendation--for each personal story that graces my PM's and Review Alerts.

I cherish you all and I smile every time I see a new face--or an old Snarlie that unfailingly graces me with a review.

For those of you who have been with me since the beginning--I remember the days of famine, my old friends. Oh, the days of pleading for 200 reviews!! You were there. And every time I see your names pop up, I smile just a little harder for all the enduring faith that has brought us new family and friends.

/smile.

I wish I had the time to reply to the reviews like I used to--I hope someday soon things will come around full circle so I can do just that.

Thank you to everyone who joins me on the Twilighted forums--for sharing that personal time with me. If you are not a part of it--please come and visit--I log in daily to spend what little time I have with my sisters, the Covenant of the Snarl. I would love to see you there.

I want to take a very special moment to recognize three very important people to me. A trinity, if you will.

RoseArcadia--who has shown unfailing creativity and pimpage in every beautiful sense. Thank you, Rose---for helping to spread the word--for having such faith and devotion. For being you. Thank you for every blinkie that caught an eye--luv you sistah.

LambCullen--one of the most fierce authors and creatively beautiful and sassy women on the planet. Many of you may not know this, but Lamb read our lil BT--and loved it so much, she started a campaign on Twitter to spread the word. I owe you, Lamb, a thousand thank you's for believing. Without your gorgeous mouth, things would have been very different. I luv you--sassy Thing.

Shadowwolf--Bara, my love. You continue to inspire me without even realizing you have. You accept me for all my faults and all of my obsessing and never once feel threatened of my pure devotion to Snarly. He might have a part of my brain, but you have my heart. My Love and I will be living together, officially in just a few days.

_And now---the single most important person in my UNIVERSE._

Brits23--What can I say to you, my heterosexual life mate, my spirit sister--my guide. Without you, Breaking Trinity would never exist, your hand marks the turn of time and page, your imagination and faith bring me to my knees. You are the aura of life behind Snarlward---you are the cheerleader in my corner when all other things are working against me.

You, Brits, endure literally last minute midnight revisions and endless hours of IM chatting and texting. You lift my spirits when I hit a slump---and you are the light that gives every character its integrity.

I could not do this without you, Brit. We are more than a team, more than friends, more than sisters. We are our own Trinity--You and Me and Creativity. I can never thank you enough, to the depth of my soul for every little thing you do to keep me on the path.

I love you Brits. You are the Muse--the symphony that makes the world go away so I can only hear the music.

Ladies and Gents, if you love this story--please visit Laid Bare--by Brits23. I promise you, Snarly is jealous because I want to rip through the screen to hear Vampward call me his beloved just once! (and then Dom the hell out of me after)

Story Link: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/

All of our love to you all---VvDeadRosesvV and Snarlward.

~~~)Come, All ye Snarlies(~~~

Breaking Trinity has been nominated for BEST LEMON!! Please stop by the site and show your love for all the authors you love to read! Its an honour to be nominated--and I have a fan girl moment every time I glance at the page and see some of my own favorite authors there. Show the love--rock the vote! (starts 12/27)

http://www(dot)shimmerawards(dot)webs(dot)com/

Breaking Trinity was listed in the 2009 Smut Hall of Fame over on RAoR in the 2009 TwiSmut Year in Review!http://robert-pattinson(dot)ca/2009/12/11/the-raor-twismut-year-in-review/

~~~)Recc the Halls(~~~

1. Laid Bare by Brits23. Ladies and Gents, if you love BT--please visit Laid Bare--by Brits23. I promise you, Snarly is jealous because I want to rip through the screen to hear Vampward call me his beloved just once! (and then Dom the hell out of me after)

Story Link: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/

2. LambCullen--please visit all of her glorious works--you will be glad you did.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1793852/

3. Shadowolf85: A Twilight OOC and Canon Mix delight. Support our male authors…and the love of my life at:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5505812/1/

4. Steph0525: My Covenant of the Snarl-sistah has got it working overtime. Send some holiday cheer!

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5469761/1/

5. EliseShawOne--of my very favorite authors. Words so haunting, you cant help but fall in love.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1775901/

6. Last Rites by Halojones: Seriously, this fiction destroys me.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5225668/1/

7. Bonne Foi by Amethyst Jackson. Oh my-my-my. Yes, please.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/4639011/1/

~~~)O'Snarly Night(~~~

Now, comes a very personal note--if you all have made it this far.

With my beloved one moving here this weekend and the holidays, I am going to take a much needed break from updating. Please forgive me and love me still. I promise there will be so much glory on the way---allow me the time to refresh my creative juices.

I will see you all next year!

Next Update: Saturday January 9. 2010.

~~~)Rockin' Around the…(~~~

Tran-Siberian Orchestra: Christmas night in Sarajevo

http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A&feature=fvw

~~~)My gift to you(~~~

Read this aloud--to yourself or a loved one.

In a Letter dated 1897.….

"We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author _is numbered among the friends of "The Sun": _

_Dear Editor, I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus? Virginia O'Hanlon_

_Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge. _

_Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. _

_Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world. _

_You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernatural beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. _

_No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years form now he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood. _

_Francis P Church"_

~~~)Remember(~~~

Please click the button….


	22. ITS COMING!

Just a quick note to say:

Breaking Trinity will have a new chapter posted by 11/3/10.

It is in the hands of my eternally fabulous Beta, Brits_23.

I have not forgotten you-I hope you havent given up on me.

Stay tuned!


	23. InBetween Days

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details. I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 21: In-Between Days

~)(~

EPOV

This wasn't going to be pretty.

Not by a fucking long shot.

I parked my car behind Laurent's in our driveway and sat for a long moment just listening to the purr of the engine. Every light was on upstairs -and I tried to prepare myself for what I knew I was walking into.

Emotion.

It was seeping out of the windows from the second floor family room like heat through glass panes on a cold night . I swear to God I could almost fucking taste the morbid sadness that hung like a cloud over the Cullen House; it was as ceaseless as a tidal wave and just as fucking destructive.

I killed the engine and kept my eyes trained on the shadows over the inside walls. _Emmett was pacing. _I could tell by the massive silhouette leaking over the cream colored, perfectly decorated interior.

The world didn't stop for a moment of crisis. Not for me, not for anyone.

_Cynicism_-I had it, lock stock and barrel.

_Perspective_-I needed it, in spades.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

_Tangerine. Honey. Wet-Wildflowers. _

The scent of my girl was still all over me and I tightened my hands on the steering wheel. It was the most calming intoxication to taste her emanating off of me in waves-and yet, it made me fucking clench my jaw and ache to reach out and grab her to me from the ether of my own thoughts.

The second I left Bella's arms I could feel the craving drawing me back to her. My mind raced feverishly to deal with the separation-with this fucking need to be _near_ her.

I wanted to feign every God damn excuse you could imagine to avoid going to Alaska. Hell, I even thought about turning around and calling Carlisle to tell him the roads were too bad for me to drive on.

I could always catch up with them later. That's what I wanted to say.

It wouldn't have been far from the truth, the asphalt was atrocious. Downright fucking deadly. If I would have given my car just a little bit of leeway, this bitch would have spun and ditched in a second.

But I knew _this_ was the right thing to do. Home was where I needed to be-I owed that to Irina and my family. I owed it to Tanya too.

If fate was trying to teach me a lesson, she was a cruel fucking mistress. Giving with one hand and then taking with the next. My freedom had come at a high-price.

I couldn't even imagine what it all had cost Tanya-especially now.

_Guilt._

It was creeping up my spine as fast as shadows on a wall at dusk. I forced my eyes shut and rolled them back into my skull as I sank deeper into my leather seat.

_Hold it together Cullen. Now is not the time for that kind of bullshit thinking. _

I was no more to blame for Tanya's lot in life than I could be held accountable for veal. Yeah, follow my previous fucking rant on that one. But, either way-nature takes its course. Be it the end of a relationship or the transition of life into death. There was no stopping fate.

Or bad timing, it seemed.

Either way, the only thing I was accomplishing by burrowing myself into my car was avoiding the situation at hand. So, I did what any strong man was supposed to do.

I gathered up my balls and one last draught of my Bella's scent and killed the engine. If I stayed here any longer, the seconds would turn into minutes and the task at hand would become impossible.

It was time to pay the piper and apparently I had accrued one hell of a tab.

~)(~

I wiped the toes of my boots off on the mat, shaking ice from the heel treads and not giving a shit if it hit the obscenely clean concrete garage floor. There were bigger fucking problems to deal with than the hell my mother could bestow upon me for making a mess.

"About time, Bro."

_God damn it_.

Emmett sounded pissed off and he wasn't about to give me one more minute to get my shit together before walking into the seventh level of hell. Truth be told, I hadn't even heard him coming down the stairs..

"Edward, I'm so glad your home," Alice shrieked just behind the hulking form of our brother. I could barely make out the spiky ends of her hair bobbing up and down over his shoulder as she tried to get my attention.

"Another damn minute of procrasterbating and I was ready to rip you out of that car myself," Emmett grumbled like a bear, narrowing his eyes and looking me over like I was something to eat.

_What the fuck?_

"Move, you bear," Alice growled at Emmett. Sometimes I swore my twin could ready my mind.

Emmett turned his glare to Alice and hand-to-god, my twin stood on her damn tip-toes to meet him-eyelash for eyelash.

If the situation wasn't so fucking dire, I might have pissed myself laughing at the David versus Goliath display….

Until I stopped thinking about my own little world and took a good look at my twins' face.

Alice had been crying. Hard.

And in that instant I was brought back to puffy-eyed, horrible reality.

They needed me and I had been torn as to whether or not I actually had wanted to be here. Until now, the gravity of what we were facing as a family had eluded me.

"I'm sorry." I was ready to continue by inserting a pathetic qualifier but I found my sharp tongue was feeling rather and suddenly dull.

"You're here now." Alice drew toward me soundlessly and wrapped her narrow arms around my shoulders, forcing me to bend into her embrace. I could smell the salt of her nearly-dried tears.

I tightened my sisters' little embrace and fought the morbid surge that was tugging at my soul like a riptide.

"How are Mom and Dad?" I looked up to Emmett from my position, my eyes lost in a safari of Alice's well styled locks, tickling against my face.

"Seen better days, bro." Emmett stood as still as stone but the tightness and anger had faded out of his eyes. He looked weary. Exhausted.

I released my hold on Alice and regained myself. "How's Tanya?"

When neither Emmett or Alice even tried to answer, I knew it was bad. Their silence told me I probably couldn't even fathom what the hell I was walking into.

"Edward." The sound of Carlisle's voice echoed down the stairs leading to the garage.

It told me everything I needed to know and suddenly I was rooted into place. Had all the air gone out of the room?

~)(~

"We are leaving tonight, son." Carlisle said with his hand clasped firmly on my shoulder. Ever a man of grace, even in the most horrible moments my short life had seen, my father never lost face.

"Alright," I nodded, allowing myself to be walked off of the landing and into the mud-room. My eyes fell to the door and its glittering coppery knob. _The thin barrier between this moment and the next._

"I had Emmett pack a bag for you and your sister, of course, re-packed it," My father pulled me in toward him just a bit tighter. The idiosyncrasies of our family suddenly seemed so much more significant to me.

What if it had been one of them instead of Irina? _Jesus-fucking-christ! _My family was my life….and Bella. Fuck me, what if this had been Bella on these ice-and-shit roads in the middle of the night?

I mean, it wasn't like we were in Alaska-their roads had to be much worse….but still!

My mindset was ready to spiral me into panic and I felt my adrenaline and anxiety surge.

Carlisle managed a soft and reassuring glance. Grounding me, connecting me to this moment-instantly. I hoped someday I would have the courage to be half the man he was-so together and complete when everything was falling-the-fuck apart.

"What am I walking into, Dad?" I took a deep breath and I was met by his gentle gaze and a reaffirming squeeze to my shoulder.

"Nothing can prepare you, Edward. We will get through this together."

I held my breath when Carlisle's' hand reached for the door. This was it and I wasn't even close to prepared for it.

~)(~

The soft lights of the family room burned my eyes. Everything came to me in a wave, engaging all my senses at once. I was in overload-and the world around me came alive in an instant, like a movie someone had switched from pause to fast-forward.

Tanya was curled up on the couch, her arms draped around her knees and a shock of strawberry blond falling in long waves around her-protectively. My mother was draped around her with both arms, rocking her ever so softly.

Laurent perched himself on the arm of the couch closest to Tanya, rubbing her back reassuringly.

From the outskirts of the room I could see Emmett and Alice, hanging back like shadows.

My father moved away from me and toward my mother, coming to rest on the edge of the couch closest to her. When Esme turned her eyes to him, the love and loss I saw reflected in her normally placid gaze ripped me into shreds.

I could take almost anything-but the sight of my mother crying. I had seen it so seldom in all my years that each time it had happened, it destroyed a part of my soul.

Whatever block of ice I had been frozen into broke free at the force of my own will. I crossed the distance between us and went to my mother. The relief at seeing me, here and in proximity, helped to give me strength on what I knew was coming next.

"Edward," Esme said softly and as though summoned from a trance, Tanya lifted her eyes to me.

I was taken aback at how Tanya had transformed. For all of her forth-right and sometimes abrasive personality she had been suddenly reborn in fragility. She looked as thought she might break if touched-as if she was made of the most delicate bone-china.

It reminded me of her life and death struggle in the hospital after the car accident I had caused. That had been the last time I had seen such vulnerability-such humanity emanating from her.

The guilt of that ill-fateful joyride we had taken tore into me and flayed my flesh until it singed.

"Edward," Tanya barely managed to say my name before her tears choked her voice away from her.

"Tanya…" I started but never had the chance to finish my sentence.

"Thank god…you're here…." Like an agile cat, Tanya sprung from her protected position and rushed into my arms. I took her to me, feeling her tears against my skin.

"Our saviour," Laurent said in a voice low enough to sound like a threat only I should hear.

I went against my instinct and ignored him completely. Now wasn't the time to punch his teeth down his throat.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered against her hair, surprised that after the message I had left her and our obvious break-up, that she would be like this with me. Maybe when the circumstances are dire, we all just forget the bad and focus on the good. I wanted her to be happy and free and a part of me would always feel love for her.

Bella was my world now. Even in this moment, I knew that was the only place my heart belonged. We had a lot of work to do and I hoped we had all the time in the world to make it right.

"I would've called, " Tanya gasped and leaned her weight in against me. "But after…after I spoke to Kate…"

"She tossed the phone out of the car window and nearly swerved off the road, it's a wonder we…" Laurent derailed his own train of thought. Irina had been taken from us all in a car accident just hours ago, continuing on that track was a bad idea.

And just then, everything came crashing down around me at once.

Tanya hadn't heard my message. Her phone was in splinters somewhere on the road. She thought….that we…

"I love you so much," Tanya was gasping between breaths, clutching me tighter to her.

Suddenly, I had no words to say. I swear to god, everything was about to go black.

~)(~

We were taking the Escalade to the airport. Not that the four-wheel drive on the SUV would do much good on ice, but at least it accommodated the seven of us, albeit rather cramped.

As the family and Tanya and Laurent made ready, I feigned some bullshit reason to go to my room and recheck my bags. Truth be told, I just needed a fucking minute to take it all in.

And by 'it' I meant everything. Irina, my family, the situation and Tanya. She had no fucking idea we were broken up and how the hell was I going to pull this off now, with the issue at hand.

_Fuck me._

I tossed my suitcase on the bed and opened it. Not that I gave a shit to look inside. If Alice had repacked everything, I already knew it would be up to my specifications. Yeah, I was a bitch about some things. I admit it.

Somewhere on auto-pilot, I sat down next to my opened and un-looked-into valise and let my head fall into my hands.

I was about fifteen-seconds away from losing my fucking sanity.

_When the hell was I going to get a fucking break from this angst? _Just one quiet day, with Bella and not a damn thing else to think about. No fucking school or volunteering or work or sports…no Tanya or my parents…nor Chief Swan.

_Shit! _How the hell was I going to start something with Bella and really make an honest go of it if this situation wasn't done and over with yet? And still, how do I do this to Tanya right now, face to face with the death of her sister looming around us?

Jesus-I could just hear my parents now. That sound in Carlisle's voice that told me he was disappointed in me and those tears shimmering in my mothers eyes in matching emotional discord to my father. All because of this bond between two families and my stubborn insistence to follow my pride and not my heart.

Bella would never fucking speak to me again after this. I would lose the one person I wanted and this time there would be no walking the high-wire to try to get her back.

_We hadn't even been going out and in my head, we were already breaking up for the second time._

"Fuck!" I snarled and reared upright, kicking my steel toe boot into the bottom of my bed . The box-spring creaked in protest and I swear to god, I wanted to kick the fucking thing across the room.

"Edward."

I didn't even turn when I heard Alice above the cacophony of screaming thoughts inside my own head. I raked my fingers through my hair and lifted my head upright, trying desperately to convince myself not to rip out every unruly strand that jutted off my scalp.

Something had to give-somewhere just a fucking glimmer of hope to shuffle off this dread.

"What happened?" Alice said in a soft voice; she must have been leaning into my doorway. I was too rooted in place to turn around and face her.

"I fucking tried-but she never got the message," I half growled in self-angsty-and piteous voice.

"Which _she_? Tanya or…" Alice stopped there, dangling on the moment when her lips would form the word-the name that could undo my sanity and save my soul at the same time.

I turned, just enough to press my cheek against my shoulder. Just enough to let Alice see the torment raging in my eyes.

"The phone. Tonight. Its never a good idea to do _that_ over the phone-damn it, Edward," Now Alice sounded as forlorn as I felt. She pieced it all together with intuition and wonder-fucking-twin-power.

_Go Alice._

"I could use a fucking vision right about now," I mumbled and leaned down, tossing the flap of my suitcase back over and just staring at the black canvas like I was waiting for a god-damned omen.

"I wish it worked that way, Edward. I really do," I heard my sister's soft padded footfalls down the hallway. Just moments ago I had been fucking deaf to the slightest sound-other than the screaming in my head.

Now, I was hyper-aware and on edge.

Why the hell was everything going from bad to worse?

~)(~

_Boarding in a few, should be to Alaska soon. I'll call you later on tonight, need to hear your voice -Edward_

I texted Bella while using the bathroom at the Sea-Tac airport, right across from the gate but still within the First Class Lounge.

I knew Bella had to be sleeping still, it was nearly 4am. We had about five minutes left before boarding and this would be the last chance I would have to use my Crackberry for a while.

_I need her_.

I huffed out a breath, trying to clear my head like the selfish boar I had become. I had no idea what I was going to say to Bella about everything when I did speak to her but right now, all I could focus on was this aching draw to just be near her.

I watched the text icon flash to show me the message had been sent. I was still at a shudder of battery life but I had brought my universal charger in carry-on so I could take care of things when we settled.

The flight was about three-and-a-half hours and I left a reminder on my cell to alter time difference, since Seattle was technically +1hr ahead of Alaska. When we arrived in Anchorage we still had a commuter flight to Denali. I estimated I would be arriving at what had been Irina's home by the time Bella was at first period in school.

I watched the light dim and fade as I killed the Crackberry and set it in my pocket for safe-keeping. Flipping it through my fingers made me feel somehow more connected to Bella. I even envisioned her waking to find her message blinking.

The thought that I would be the first person on her mind that morning gave me just enough strength to get my shit in gear.

As I was walking out of the bathroom, I could see my father looking in my direction. Everyone was preparing to move to board first-class from the Lounge. I'd be god-damned if the lighting and washed out faces of my family with Tanya and Laurent didn't make them look like a Coven of well-dressed Vampires.

Fuck, I was tired. My mind was running away from me.

I nodded across the distance to Carlisle and picked up the pace. Tanya was waiting for me, her arms outstretched as though she might suffocate and cease to exist if I was not there to take her into my arms.

_Oh, that it would be Bella waiting for me like that_….I'd find superhuman speed to burn apart the space between us.

But it was not Bella.

So, I gave to Tanya the support she needed from me. I held her up and took what Alice packed of her own things for Tanya to wear temporarily, shouldering my responsibility like a weight on my soul.

Maybe when the sun came up, things would look brighter.

I still hadn't faced the loss of Irina, personally…at least not yet. I would have to deal with this-all of it. Like I said before, it comes in spades.

So, I helped Tanya aboard and settled in for a long flight, leaving Bella behind me, with a heavy heart full of longing and hesitation.

~)(~

Tanya slept through the first flight, resting on my shoulder for comfort. I had trained my eyes out of the window as she slept, listening to the soft murmurs of my parents to the side of me and Emmett and Alice just behind.

Laurent was seated alone, behind my siblings. For all I cared, he could stay that way.

The only comfort I found on the long journey to Anchorage and then the commuter flight to Denali, were my thoughts of Bella. I was exhausted and on the verge of passing out but the choppy wind-stream kept me alert enough to forgo the songs of my mistress-of my dreams of her.

My Bella.

Before I had even realized, in my state of quasi exhaustion, the commuter flight had landed in Denali. The town was small but well funded by the affluent families that chose to keep homes in the area. The main attraction was obviously the pristine beauty of ice, woods and wildlife.

Roughing it meant million dollar homes and a town catered to an exquisite and quiet paradise. _How quaint._

Eleazar was waiting for us in a rather large Chevy Suburban with chained tires. The sight of him stood out like a black shadow against the ice covered-world as we each ducked down to make our way off the short landing and into the bitter Alaskan cold.

"Eleazar, how is Kate?" I heard Carlisle ask as Tanya slowly roused herself from her state of bare coherence.

"As well as can be expected. She is with Carmen," He extended his hand as Carlisle grasped it and shook gently.

"How is Tanya holding up?" he asked with concern, casting a glance to her groggy, grief stricken form.

"As well as can be expected," Carlisle returned, draping his arm around my mothers' slight waist.

Laurent, who had been mostly silent, stepped up to Tanya and took her too, by the waist. I was pleased for the reprieve and slowly relented my hold on her, though there was something more intimate that seemed to show itself in his hold on her.

Or maybe I had just passed the point of delusional. I was too exhausted and drained to think straight.

The wind whipped fiercely and I took a moment to stretch and move back to help Emmett with the luggage. Not that he couldn't handle it by himself-I just really felt the need to keep myself occupied.

"You alright, bro?" he asked while removing one of my mother's overstuffed pieces of luggage from the Cargo hold of the commuter plane. "Alice told me about, you know-the situation."

"It hasn't all hit me yet but the gravity is weighing me down, Emm," I said without meeting his eyes. I shouldered two more pieces and criss-crossed the straps against my chest.

"We're here, like you ever had to wonder," Emmett said, overstuffed with luggage as he turned toward the Suburban.

"Thanks," I said solemnly.

I wish I had more to offer him but I felt like a dead man walking.

~)(~

With Tanya, Kate and Carmen locked together in both grief and planning with my parents and tag-along Alice, Eleazar had taken to settling everyone in. He showed Emmett and I around the house, indicating where everyone would be staying while here in Denali.

I had no fucking idea where Laurent had gone. Truth be told, I didn't much give a shit.

As we tried to take mental note of where everything in the expansive home was located, Emmett and I deposited luggage as we went. Once we came to the room we would be sharing, a sense of quiet exhaustion seemed to take us both over.

With a kind sense of understanding, Eleazar left us to ourselves. I was just too damn tired to unpack. And maybe, subconsciously-I didn't want to get comfortable for too long here in Alaska-with Tanya.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower and call Rose, bro. You cool?" Emmett said while yawning hard enough to shake himself to a semi roused wakefulness.

"I'm good," I grumbled and tossed myself down on the twin bed I had claimed for myself. I didn't even bother taking off my shoes. The only energy I had left I spent reaching into my carry on bag to produce my Crackberry's universal-charger.

Groaning as I stretched myself toward the nightstand between the two twin beds, I slid one end of the cord into the socket and grabbed for my phone with my free hand.

The battery chimed and I laid back to finally close my eyes. The last thing I recall hearing was the rustling of Emmett in his luggage and the under-breath cursing that told me he had probably forgotten to pack something he needed.

I couldn't have been asleep for more than a half hour when the sound of my Crackberry vibrating on the night stand forced me to open my eyes. Everything was hazy and my body protested thoroughly for being startled back to life.

I crawled my way up to the head of the bed and grabbed my phone. Who the hell would be calling me? I was sure Carlisle would have notified the school about the families impending absence?

My heart thundered in my chest when _her_ name displayed on the shiny, well-lit screen.

"Bella," I said as I flipped my Crackberry open, pressing it to my ear like a gift from the Gods. "Its not even 10am in the States-where are you?"

I had to remind myself to set my phone to subtract the -1hr time difference-it wasn't even 9am here.

"I'm in Forks, how about you?" She asked with a coy, quiet voice. _Fuck, the sound of her shot fire through my blood._

"Wishing I was there with you," I breathed deeply into the phone, I could feel my tongue flick against my teeth as though beckoning her closer. I wanted to taste her-breathe her into me and bring myself back to life.

"How is Alaska?" Bella asked and I could hear her breathing hitch across the wire.

Just the sound of my heady exhale against her ear could make her jolt-I'd have to fucking remember that when next I was with her.

"I haven't been back to Alaska in a few years but its beauty holds nothing for me now," Suddenly I felt so alive and alert and awake.

"Why is that?" she asked and I could almost hear a kittenish smile in her voice.

"Because the mountains and the ice and the trees hold nothing of beauty. Nothing does, if it is not you," I said in a roguish and husky voice.

Bella's breathing quickened on the line.

The sound of her shuddered through me. I was already rock hard.

"How…how is everything else?" Bella gasped and cleared her throat gently; I could almost see the crimson flush overtake her features.

I chose to be kind-considering our situation and distance. I let her off the hook but I was still grinning ear to ear.

"We just got here a little bit ago but I'm sure its not going to be an easy couple days. I hope I can be home by the weekend-if I can make it that long without you_." It was the fucking truth_. Here I had made it all these years of my life without her and yet a day felt like a damn eternity. It wasn't about the primal needs either, well not entirely anyway.

I wanted to spend more than just a few hours bringing her pleasure. I wanted to quote her fucking poetry and play the piano for her and take her out-on a real fucking date.

Jesus, where the fuck was my head taking me?

I could hear the warning bell between classes ringing in the background. _How fucking appropriate._

Bella would be heading to Mr. Basttion's class now or maybe she was already there. It was hard to tell location just by sound.

_Stalk her much, Cullen?_

"I have to go," she said hesitantly. Her voice sounded pained and wanton and yet, achingly innocent. "Will you-call me tonight still?"

"Hell and High water cant keep me from you," I said with a snap of my teeth and a heavy exhale. _Fuck, still rock hard._

"Okay," she gasped, "Um-bye."

The line went dead before I could say goodbye.

I set my phone back down on the nightstand. Emmett was walking out from his shower wearing nothing more than a towel wrapped around his torso when I heard a very feminine gasp echo through the room.

_What the fuck?_

Tanya stood in the doorway, looking like a frightened rabbit that had lost its way back to its burrow. "Emmett, I'm sorry."

_How long had she been here?_

Tanya averted her eyes out of respect for Rosalie and I heard my brother grasp up some clothing on his way back to the bathroom. At least he could change there in peace.

"Why aren't you sleeping in my room with me?" Her questioning tone was both exhausted and suspicious.

Reality came crashing down around me but the ferocity within burned all the brighter. Nothing would be keeping me from Bella anymore. Not Tanya or my parents or Irina's unfortunate passing.

However, now just wasn't the time to do it-but it was coming. And it would be soon.

"I think it's the best arrangement, considering the circumstances," _and my girl waiting for me back home_.

"I don't have the strength to argue with you. Where is Laurent?" She sighed heavily and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes again.

_Speaking of Laurent, where was that little fucker?_

"He has to be around here somewhere, Tanya." I said softly and stood up, adjusting myself with expert subterfuge. Delicious visions of Bella still assaulted me-but now was not the time. "I'll go find him if it will make you happy."

"What would make me happy is being with my boyfriend!" She started to crumble, her palms digging into her swollen eyes. Tanya looked like she might fall apart.

"You need to get some sleep, you have to save your strength," I said, placing my hand on the small of her back, intent on leading her to her bedroom.

Fading blue eyes held mine. I saw myself reflected there.

"They are going to have a closed casket funeral for my sister-the accident-didn't leave much of her."

And there it was…the agony broke her in two.

When Tanya sank to the floor, I went with her, cradling her head softly against my chest.

I may not have wanted to be with her anymore-but I didn't have a heart of stone either.

The last thing I ever wanted to was to see her in pain. She deserved better and she should have the truth. It was just a matter of time before she would have both.

But for now, I would do whatever I had to-to not break her world to pieces any more than it already was.

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A/N: What can I say to all of you who have welcomed me back with open arms? Nothing is as poignant as a simple and heartfelt thank you.

Please know that I have missed you all and thought of you during all these long months away. I was at a serious slump for a long while but I have wanted to make sure Snarlward was brought to you as I have always wanted.

And now we are back.

I will update as regularly as I can but I will not be able to keep to a set x1 week schedule. I am aiming bi-weekly at this time and that may change as well depending on the severity of my schedule.

If you promise to continue to bear with me, I promise to complete this fiction with no more 10 month M.I.A's.

Deal?

Now I have some very special shout-outs to make:

Brits23-the talented and incredible muse who still strums her lute for me. Brits has lovingly continued to take on the chore of directing this world we have created. Without her none of this would have been possible. Thank you, Brits-for believing and hanging in here, for taking on my last minute revisions and Snarlward non-compliance issues. Your faith, unending devotion and commitment to Breaking Trinity has brought it back enforce.

If you have not checked out her incredible work with Bitey aka Vampward please visit this link and show the love:

Story Link: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/

My Dearest Covenant Sistahs: You have kept the faith and brought the warmth back into mine and Snarlwards' hearts. Thank you for every kind word. I promise to make you all proud.

Please visit us on the Breaking Trinity thread on the Twilighted site. I post often and will occasionally leave a teaser! Come on down:

.?f=44&t=6738&p=751251p751251

_And for everyone who has held up hope that I would continue the wait is finally over. _

Though I can not reply to you each, know that I read every review and it gives me inspiration to keep on writing. I am doing this for you, my precious ones-I promised to take you on a journey and I could not allow myself to leave you stranded.

So, with that said….

Every review brings us one step closer to the next chapter. Show me your love and I'll show you mine!

Xoxoxox

VvDeadRosesvV + Snarlward


	24. Challenge to the Balance

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 22: Challenge to the Balance

~)(~

BPOV

I paced a hole in my carpet for about an hour after Edward left. My nails were chewed to the quick and my mind raced at light-speed.

_What am I doing? _

Hadn't I decided to take a detour from this road I was traveling on? No matter what I did, everything seemed to be leading me back down a dangerous path that had all the evil portents of a Hollywood horror movie.

I was torn. Severed. Ripped in two. The metaphorical gore that spilled out of me was far more than just the special effects rendered by Skywalker Studios. So, this is what it felt like to be thoroughly eviscerated. Well, let me tell you, it sucks.

Yet…

I just couldn't stop thinking of the 'what-if's'.

What if the Chinese philosophy of Opportunity coming from Chaos was right? Edward and I had sunk low-and fast without each other. This candle we held was burning us at both ends and yet it seemed neither of us could keep away, no matter the danger.

All of this had happened in so short of a time and still, it felt like we had been standing on this battlefield for a lifetime, unable to lay down our combat arms because there was something to fight for.

Now, I stopped pacing.

Maybe that was what it came down to. Was it really as simple as all that? My heart said yes but my mind told me otherwise.

_He lied to you once-a leopard doesn't change it's spots._

Not all leopards have spots-what about the all-black variety?

_Under that shiny coat of onyx fur, there are still spots. And those still don't change, smart-ass._

Hello insanity my old friend. Glad you could make it to my most current breakdown.

I exhaled sharply and looked up toward the ceiling, wishing it was the sky I could see instead of a fresh coat of paint and sturdy plaster. How is it that I would feel so much more-sure in Edward's presence and the moment he was away, the doubts crept into me again?

_Because he is with his ex-girlfriend on his way to Alaska for a timely and coincidental situation. A little odd, don't you think?_

That's my problem, I think too much. And I hardly call the death of an extended family member _coincidental_. That's just cruel.

_James had a logical explanation for everything too, didn't he?_

Seriously, why did I let myself go there?

I groaned in frustration and flopped down on my bed. For a moment I scrubbed my face with my hands and winced when the pain of the skin over my tortured knuckles snapped me back to reality.

It was obvious I had some deep seated psycho-drama I had to work out. This couldn't be healthy. Not every guy was just another James and I was never going to be Victoria. Again.

Damn I missed Riley.

I really needed a friend to talk to and Jessica wasn't going to cut it. Truth be told she was slowly and finally shifting places in my heart from friend to adversary. I wasn't entirely sure why but I knew it had something to do with the way she coveted Edward Cullen. And he was already mine.

_So, we are taking him back then? Just like that? _

Yes. No. I'm not sure. Ask again in five minutes.

And then, out of the blue the answer hit me square in the face. I might not have Riley but hadn't I passed that mantle on at his behest?

_Jacob. _He was as close of a friend as I had in Forks except maybe Alice but she was obviously biased. Surely he had to have some male-insight for the situation at hand-he had to be able to help me break the 'guy' code.

Just thinking of Jacob brought a smile to my face and I felt my inner anxiety lower its scream to a pathetic and dull roar. Jake had this way of emanating his own personal sunshine and even in the dark of night, I could feel myself ready to lotion up and catch some rays.

That was it! I'd call him tomorrow and set up a time to hang-out. Besides, we still had a lot of catching up to do.

In the midst of my imaginary sun-bathing, I heard a car door slam from the backyard parking area. I glanced at the red digital face of my alarm clock. 1am.

Charlie was home and all of the lights in my bedroom were still on. By now it was too late to shut everything off and pretend to be sleeping. _Great, I thought he was pulling an all-nighter._

With no chance for a plan-B, I decided to remain exactly as I was. And it took only about two minutes to hear the familiar trod of my fathers heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. He wasn't a subtle man.

That's when it hit me.

Damn.

I should have sprayed the room with something. I could still smell Edward-and I- all over my space. Not that it was a bad thing but still-Charlie was more perceptive than I gave him credit for.

I fought the rising blush to my features, begging myself not to remember what we had done in this room tonight. But oh-god, how could I not…his hands, his mouth…the way he played my body like an instrument he had studied all of his life?

The gentle rap of Charlie's knuckles tapped against my door and the knob turned slowly. I racked my hands over my face and tried to feign my best and most exhausted look.

"Bella, your still up?" Charlie said as he opened the door just enough to stick his head through.

My fathers face was pale and he sniffled slightly, his nose all red and kinda puffy. Not that I would ever wish illness on anyone but talk about catching a lucky break.

"Yeah, I'm still up," I yawned and to my own surprise it was a real one. Edward had exhausted me-Physically, Mentally, Emotionally. And what incredible exhaustion it was…..

"Are you alright?" Charlie asked, opening the door a bit wider. He had hung up his gun and jacket as customary but otherwise, he was still looking like the official Chief of Forks, Washington. And that still made him my jailor as long as I wouldn't snitch on the real situation going on with Edward Cullen and myself.

"You look a little flushed," he commented, gesturing to ask if he could step inside my bedroom.

"Nah, I'm fine-Just a little tired," I said, drawing myself up to sit Indian-style on my bed. "How was everything tonight? You're home early for an overnighter."

Charlie must have thought I was concerned about him and that was why I was still awake. Its not that I hadn't been concerned. I guess I just never second guess my Dad-I always know no matter how bad the roads and situations on them might get, Charlie would always come out alright.

He was an unstoppable force. And in that I found some sense of comfort. I was cut from the same cloth, wasn't I?

"I brought in some deputies to help manage things. Most secondary roads are closed but the major high-ways are being salted and kept up, now." Charlie said, leaning on the door frame. "There were a lot of accidents but luckily no fatalities."

"I guess we should be glad for that much," I nodded solemnly and feigned interest in something on my bedspread. "Dad, I know you have me grounded or on restriction or whatever you call it-but I was wondering something?"

"You ready to talk?" He asked with a mixture of a hopeful and yet concerned tone.

"Not about that-I was thinking of asking Jake to come over tomorrow and spend some time catching up. Is that alright with you? I mean its not a school thing obviously but I'd like to see him anyway…."

"Alright with me, kiddo," Charlie said without even a moment of hesitation. That kind of surprised me. But then again, maybe it was just another excuse to see Jacobs father, Billy, or something random like that.

After a long moment of silence, Charlie finally yawned. "Alright Bells, I'm heading to bed. Get some sleep and maybe we can spend some time talking tomorrow. Sound good?"

What could I say to that? _No Dad-you don't want to know about Edward Cullen and I, trust me-the things he does to me and the way it makes me feel should be illegal in four states and a few Provinces. _

Yeah, I could see that going over well.

"Night Dad," I said with a smile, brushing my hair back with my bite-tendered hand. The skin still stung but it was healing. I wish I was healing as quickly.

With a quick turn, Charlie killed the light by the switch near the door and closed it behind him.

As I settled into darkness, I wondered quietly how Edward was doing. I knew by the look in his eyes and the shift in his presence this whole situation with Tanya's family was hurting him. I hated to see him in pain-even if he had caused me a fair share of my own.

Silently, I cursed that Tanya was going to be spending this time with him, leaning on Edward like the support he would be. I knew I had no right to do so, not when I had been in her place during my own Victoria-crisis. The girl had no idea who I was or that I had been with him during their relationship and that weighed heavily enough on me.

I tried to cast that out of my thoughts and focus on the here and now. I would talk to Jacob and invite him into that seldom used place in my heart-the one that let someone in and trusted them. Jake and I had history, that had to account to something. And I knew in my heart that once we picked up and got our friendship back on the right tracks, he would never fail me.

He might be the first guy-besides my own father-that would ever hold that title. It had to count for something, right?

~)(~

I awoke a few minutes before my alarm with a faint beeping echoing through my room.

I was sweating and out of breath and the remnants of a fading nightmare still gripped my vocal chords in a state of paralysis. Whatever the dream was, I knew it a moment ago but for now, it was disappearing with every second I was becoming aware of my surroundings.

When I glanced the digital read out on my clock last it said 2:45am. Four hours had passed since then-the usual for me. With a brief stretch I reached for the lamp beside my table and flicked the light on.

I glanced around the room to find the source of that faint noise that had helped to rouse me.

I could see the indicator light on my cell phone beating a rhythmic pattern. I drew up, shaking off the chill you get when coming out of a nice warm bed and grabbed the old hardware up to my still squinty eyes.

A text message from just before 4am.

_Boarding in a few, should be to Alaska soon. I'll call you later on tonight, need to hear your voice -Edward_

I felt my fingers shake and the plump of my lip caught itself between my teeth. I don't know why something as simple as a text message from Edward could make me internally squee as much as it did, but it was disturbing.

Disturbing and also…kind of nice. And scary-lets not forget scary. In moments like this, reading something so sweet I was half ready to throw caution the wind and let myself get caught up in the Edward-Cullen-Storm.

But I had to remain grounded, if that was possible with someone like him. We had already gone to extremes too fast in so few days. There had to be a balance somewhere.

I would talk to Jake and try to find a game plan I could live with. But already, with Edward out of Washington and somewhere nearer to Alaska-I felt the craving to be near him again.

Obsession. Addiction.

All of these emotions mixed with the lingering reminder of Edward's scent.

Sun. Sand. That incredible leathery musk.

Today might be the day I finally lose my mind.

~)(~

Charlie was still asleep when I left for school. It wasn't like him to miss his customary 7am cup of coffee. I didn't recall a day my father had slept in for all of my life. And that included when he would come home late from an overnight or late patrol.

Maybe Charlie was coming down with something. He did have a bit of a sniffle early this morning. I made a mental note to call him during lunch and make sure everything was fine and to pick up some ingredients to make a nice, hearty soup if he was under the weather.

I pulled my truck into a parking spot and killed the engine. Just as I was taking my key from the ignition I heard the tapping on my driver side window. I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Bella," Jessica was already opening my door. I barely had a chance to scoop up my backpack from the passenger seat.

"Hey Jess," I tried not to sound bitchy but I was increasingly disliking the girl who was supposed to be my best friend.

"I am so sorry about last night. My stupid-ass parents wouldn't let me take my car and they weren't trying to get on the roads last night." She huffed, looking completely annoyed.

"My father said the roads were bad, it was probably better you didn't come." I shut the door behind me and shouldered my bag.

"Whatever," Jess scowled at me, giving me that one-brow-up look. What did she expect from me? Did she think I would fall down on my knees and cry myself to sleep on the floor because she didn't come over?

"Okay," I shrugged and starting walking but apparently my best friend didn't think we were finished with our conversation.

"Bella-what's with you?" Jess was still standing at the tailgate of my truck, gripping her books and looking at me accusingly.

"What do you mean?" I shrugged, completely unprepared for this early morning ambush.

"You barely call me, you don't care if we hang out or not-it's like none of this is important to you! Do you even care if we're friends anymore or anything?" Jess had that martyring tone.

"Of course I care," I said and wondered if I really did. I took a deep breath and looked around the parking lot. Maybe I was looking for Edwards car-which of course wouldn't be here probably for the rest of the week.

"Well you have a funny way of showing it, Bella." Jess smacked on her gum, rolling her eyes before she finally started walking.

I just didn't have the time or the mental capacity for drama right now. There was so much going through my head that I just couldn't seem to separate one situation from the next.

"We're gonna be late," Jessica said in the most snide tone I had ever heard from her.

So, I did what anyone else would do. I shuffled back my pride and followed, keeping my eyes everywhere but on her.

Jess kept on walking once we made it inside of the school-and she never even bothered to look back. So, I went my own way and tried to fade into the background as I made it to Mr. Potter's first period Western Civ class. I tossed my books down on my desk, wishing I was anywhere but here.

"Hey girlie-what's the word?" Mike sat down behind me and swatted the back of my seat with his rolled up homework assignment.

"Hey Mike," I turned slightly and he was smiling from ear to ear.

"Did your dad rip into you last night for the whole fire-drill thing?" He asked and I could see the faint swelling on the side of his face as he spoke. Edward had landed some expert punches in Biology class yesterday, that much was obvious.

"Nah-he knows I don't know anything. I am a terrible liar-like really terrible." I chuckled despite myself.

"Good to know," Mike said with a smile. "So, Bella-let me know if Cullen starts bothering you or anything, alright? I know you don't like him and…."

"I wouldn't worry about it," I cut Mike off before he could continue his sentiment. Mr. Potter was already taking silent attendance and that meant class was going to begin.

Before Mike could say another word, the bell rang.

~)(~

Like every first period class in the history of the world, mine dragged on. Mike kept trying to pass me a note but I pretended I was too interested in Mr. Potter's exceptional teaching skills to notice.

When the bell rang I was out of the room like a shot. I lost myself in the throng of bodies sauntering to their next classes. I left Mike behind pretty quickly and caught up with Angela on the way into Ms. Marshall's Calculus class.

The best part about seeing Angela was how non-invasive she was. Even knowing her a short time I could see she was a gentle and calm person, a good soul. Angela didn't push, didn't invade-she simply accepted what was.

That earned big marks in my book.

We made small talk till class began and once Mrs. Marshall set the pencil behind her ear, it was time to hunker down into my least favorite subject.

I couldn't help that my mind drifted somewhere to the frozen tundra. I wondered if Edward's plane had landed and what he was doing now, if everyone was reconnecting and supporting each other in this crisis. Of course I knew the Cullens were a tight family-just by seeing Edward with Alice and Emmett. Their parents must have been amazing.

That prompted me to want to call Renee. I felt the sudden urge to talk to my mom and see how she and Phil were doing.

Mrs. Marshall called on me to answer a question and of course, I completely flaked. If I could have made myself invisible I would have. What's worse was that sympathetic look on Angela's face. It was obvious she excelled at this subject and remained completely focused while I was off somewhere in Alaska thinking about Edward.

I realized I wasn't looking forward to Biology class today since he wasn't going to be there. That felt strange, like a gnawing pit in my stomach-more bats than butterflies.

Was I really that uncomfortable with the thought of Edward not being there? Since that night at Laurent's party everything had kind of taken an orbit around him and I was a little scared of this addictive feeling crawling through my skin.

I wanted to bolt out of my seat and call him. I didn't know if he had landed yet or if his cell phone would even work in Alaska but the need was sudden and all consuming.

What if he comforted Tanya and found that he still wanted to be with her, even after everything he had said to me last night? Could I ever trust him again? Had I ever trusted him in the first place?

And what about this pull I felt? Unnatural and yet…it felt so right.

_Stop this, you're not a drama queen._

For once, I agreed with myself. If I wanted to at least try to give Edward a chance with me the right way, I would have to take this one uncomfortable step at a time.

Still I couldn't fight this bad feeling that kept hanging over me like a dark cloud. I felt like something was going wrong and it was slowly making me anxious…and I don't _do_ anxious well.

When the bell rang, I grabbed my already packed book bag and started out of the room, leaving Angela in the dust. I would have to apologize to her at lunch and then, there was Jessica to deal with.

My phone was out of the pocket of my jeans and in my hand before I could stop myself. I scrolled through my phone and repeated his number to myself-having not yet committed it to memory or speed dial.

Wow, Edward Cullen on speed dial. That just kind of blew my mind.

I slid out of the school by one of the hallway exit doors, keeping my foot at the base to prop it open. Those bats started working a number on my gut.

"Bella," He paused, sounding like he just woke up from a dead sleep. Not that I would know personally but doesn't everyone sound like that? "Its not even 10am in the States-where are you?"

Was there a time difference? He sounded like it-I think. Either way, just hearing his voice made the small hairs on the back of my neck stand up-in a good way.

"I'm in Forks, how about you?"

"Wishing I was there with you," he breathed deep into the phone and it sounded like his tongue flicked against his teeth or lips or maybe even the cell itself. I grabbed onto the door with my hand because suddenly I felt a little…woozy.

"How is Alaska?" I tried to distract myself from this need to get my fix. He was like a drug to me-addictive and dangerous and my mind was screaming _beware._

"I haven't been back to Alaska in a few years but its beauty holds nothing for me now," Edward leaned into the phone and I realized, so did I.

"Why is that?" I couldn't hide that narrow little smile that was creeping at the corners of my mouth.

"Because the mountains and the ice and the trees hold nothing of beauty. Nothing does, if it is not you." He used _that_ voice. You know _that _voice-the one that sounds deep and husky and buttery all at the same time.

I forgot to breathe. I was drowning in my addiction and aching all the more.

"How…how is everything else?" I tried to pull myself together just a little. How did he make me come undone like this?

"We just got here a little bit ago but I'm sure its not going to be an easy couple days. I hope I can be home by the weekend-if I can make it that long without you_." _

_Did he really just say that? _My fingers were shaking and not just because it was cold outside. And not because I was wedging myself onto a metal and glass door to prevent myself from getting locked out of the school.

I felt kind of hopeful-and a little uneasy at the same time. Why was I so torn apart?

The warning bell went off and startled me half to death.

"I have to go," Like an idiot I let the first thing stumble out of my mouth. "Will you-call me tonight still?" Suddenly I felt like five-year-old-Bella asking for a cookie after dinner.

"Hell and High water can't keep me from you." When Edward breathed into the phone like that-I don't know what happened to me.

"Okay," I paused, looking around me like I was a criminal on the run from something. Myself, maybe. "Um-bye."

I snapped my phone closed without giving myself another moment to feed my addiction. I felt like a stupid, shaking mess…

…that was about to be late to Mr. Basttion's class. _Damn it_.

~)(~

I made it through the next two classes with minimal awareness. I had that 'hit by a truck' feeling and I couldn't seem to shake it. In Mr. Basttion's psychology class I kept looking over to where Alice would be perched but she wasn't there. That reminded me that Edward wouldn't be here today…or the rest of the week either.

Thus my fog deepened. And I swore Mr. Basttion kept looking me over-not in that dirty way, though he was definitely not sore on the eyes if you know what I mean. It was this kind of weird, kindred feeling-like he knew I was spacey and not here and the _exact_ the reason why.

It was really weird.

I flew through Psychology and then English Lit with Mrs. Sykes. On the walk to lunch I called Jacob's house and left a message with his father, Billy. He promised he would deliver it personally.

When I set my books down at the lunch table Eric and Mike had already claimed for the group, I dialed Charlie. Just as I suspected, he was coming down with something. He hadn't moved much off of the couch except to make coffee.

Of course I warned him that he needed to eat real food and told him I'd stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some things to make a chicken soup. Even if I didn't eat meat and wasn't too fond of handling it-I knew it would make my dad feel better.

After a short and sweet conversation with Charlie, I left a message for Renee to give me a call-assuring her everything was alright and I just wanted to chat.

By the time that was done and my cell phone was slid back into my pocket, I saw that Jess was glaring at me and thrumming her fingers on the table. Obviously she wanted my attention.

"We need to get together tonight," Jess said in a no-nonsense kind of voice.

"I'm grounded, remember?" I replied as innocently as possible-trying to ignore Mike and Eric as they twisted the conversation Jessica and I were having into something sexual that involved pillow fights and tongue-baths.

I thought it was kind of funny but Jessica refused to even acknowledge them. Even Angela cracked a smile while looking down at her brown-bag lunch.

"Bella," Jess said and it sounded oddly like a warning.

I wasn't going to win this fight. And part of me wanted to do very bad things to Jessica-like go down on Edward on her front porch after ringing the doorbell.

_Wow-that was bad, even for me_. I swallowed my tongue quickly and looked down at the table. What the hell was happening to me?

"I-I'll talk to my dad and see what I can do but it won't be tonight, alright?" I dug into my own brown-bag, pulling out a carrot stick and popping it into my mouth to shut myself up. I feared if I didn't do something fast, I was going to end a friendship right here and now and it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Fine," Jessica said, turning her attention from me and giving all of it to Mike-who she wanted almost as bad as she wanted Edward.

I balled my hand into a fist and pressed my fingers into my palm.

Seriously, I was starting to scare myself.

~)(~

I attended the rest of my classes for the day. In biology Mike tried to chew my ear off when he could and then he walked me to Gym. Not that I particularly wanted the company but apparently Jess seemed to believe otherwise.

Jessica overtook all of the attention that was focused on me and kept Mike blissfully occupied while seeming to have me on her ignore list. It was lonely playing the wallflower but then again, that meant I had a period to myself that was kind of quiet.

Even if it was Gym.

After a few uncoordinated attempts to play badminton with an unknown partner, I pretty much stood at the back line and swung my racket from side to side. The time just couldn't go by fast enough.

When I got to the locker room to change, Jess was talking to some other girls that I didn't know. I caught only drifts of conversation as I hurriedly threw my jeans on but as I reached for my books I heard something to make my blood boil.

"I don't care if he has a girlfriend-I am so going to get into Edward Cullen's pants. I've heard he's huge, in all the right places," Jess giggled maliciously and her group of three other somewhat pretty friends joined in harmony.

Was it possible to feel your blood pressure rise?

"What about Mike-you're like all over him?" one of them cackled out a question.

"Well, there's Filet Mignon and then there's a New York Strip. Who says I can't eat them all?" Jessica brushed her hair back and I leaned into my locker. "Besides, nothing makes a guy hotter than having a girl-who already has a boyfriend-flirting with him. You know the whole 'she's untouchable thing', right?"

"Oh my God that is so true," Another hyena exclaimed and I felt myself starting to boil over with anger.

"Mike's totally cute but he isn't even in the same category as Cullen. He'd be a fun stepping stone on the way to the top. Besides, I think Edward is totally into me…the other day I was walking to class…"

I slammed my locker door and stormed out of the girl's dressing room. I had heard enough. Another moment in that room and I might have attacked the whole clutch of them.

Now, I had never been in a real fight before so I had no idea what my chances to knock them all out would have been. But I was at the precipice of throwing chance to the wind and saying _fuck it._

I stormed off to study hall and signed in. Then promptly signed out and made it to my truck. Even the roar of the engine seemed angry to me.

Who the hell did Jessica think she was? Edward wasn't hers to look at and that went double for even dreaming she could put her hands on him. She could talk all the shit she wanted to but when it came down to it-I already knew just how skilled and how _huge _he was. She would never find out.

Oh my God-I don't think I had ever been this angry before. It was illogical and new and completely-jealous? Possessive?

I actually wanted to scream.

So I pushed my truck to its limit on the road, feeling it shake and shimmy at fifty-five. If the whole thing wouldn't have fallen apart, I would have romped the gas even harder.

In an attempt to calm myself down, I called Charlie from the supermarket to let him know I'd be home soon and then I dialed Jacob's house. I wasn't sure what time he'd be home or if Billy had given him the message or if maybe he had baseball practice today or something.

"Hello." No sooner than the phone was picked up, solar flares reached me across the invisible line.

"Jake, it's Bella." Ahh, the anger was already ebbing.

"Heya Bells, my dad told me you called but I wasn't sure what time you got home? Did you still want me to come over?" he asked and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I hadn't been reunited with Jacob for long but I could see, our friendship was going to be…easy. I felt my spirits lift and the annoyances and mood swings of the day just…flee away from me.

"That would be great, Charlie isn't feeling well so I'm going to make him some soup. Did you and your dad want to join us for dinner?" I was already shopping, using my shoulder as a holding place for my phone.

"Lemme ask, hold on a sec." Jake muffled the phone but I could hear him calling out to his father like a howl.

I couldn't hear Billy with Jake muffling the phone so I waited patiently while lifting up celery bags to see which one was least droopy.

"Bells-I'm back, Billy said cool. So like what time should we come over?"

"I need to get home and get things started. The soup needs at least 3hrs start to finish so…how about you both come over at like 6?" I started moving again, satisfied with the vegetables. Just the bouillon and chicken left on my list.

"We'll be there," Jake said again with that smile that burned solar flares through my phone.

I clipped my cell closed and returned to the task at hand. I wondered if I could speed up the process by getting an already cooked chicken. The smell-didn't do wonders for my stomach but this wasn't about me.

First it was all about Charlie-my dad needed a woman's looking after. Secondly, Jake and Billy were coming over and that meant more meat-eater mouths to feed.

That was when I realized homemade chicken soup was not going to be enough for everyone. I wracked my brain at lightning speed to come up with something I could serve alongside of it.

There wasn't much money left in my Phoenix bank account so I would have to make it stretch. If my debit card was going to pay for this impromptu shopping trip, I would have to think of something hearty and fantastic on a skin-tight purse.

I did love a challenge.

~)(~

Just before 6pm, Jake and Billy showed up at the house holding a paper bag of Harry Clearwater's famous homemade fish fry. I settled them in and went back to the kitchen, putting the obviously well loved delicacy they had brought with them in a pan to keep warm in the stove.

"Do you need a hand, Molly-Homemaker?" Jake asked, leaning in the doorway, trying to stay out of the tornado effect I created when I cooked.

"You can set the table for me, that would be pretty awesome," I said with a smile, giving the simmering soup a stir before attacking the mess of dishes I had created.

"Sure sure." Jacob seemed to know his way around our kitchen pretty well. But then again, I'd been gone along time before my living with Charlie. Billy and Jake were like a part of the family and hey, they couldn't have gone to the diner every night they were together, right?

Jake and I worked in silent synchronicity in the kitchen and it was comfortable-like we had done this a hundred times before. And of course, just being around him made me feel less anxious about the whole Edward Cullen situation.

I couldn't wait to talk to him and get the kind of clarity only a friend can give you.

"You're awful quiet, Bells," Jake set up the classes and put the soda and a pitcher of iced tea on the table. "But I'm pretty stoked you asked me to come on over again."

I dried my hands with the dishtowel and donned the oven mitts. "What can I say, you're a ball of sunshine to be around, Jake."

"Ah, now your gonna make me blush," The hulking, muscular Adonis with long black hair said in the most feminine voice possible. I damn near dropped the cornbread veggie-bake I had started to remove from the warm oven.

"I don't mean to be quiet, just trying to focus on getting dinner straight. Charlie looks like hell, doesn't he?"

"He's a big strong man," Jake pounded on his chest with one fish. "He will survive this sniffle!"

"Charlie's just as big a baby when he's sick as the rest of your species, pal," I chided and set the cornbread dish down in the center of the table.

"You have us all figured out, don't you Bells?" Jake said with a smile and pressed two fingers into his lips to give a resounding, ear splitting whistle. "Chow's on!"

I could hear Billy and Charlie in the living room howl with approval.

"Well, I have pretty much all your species figured out…except for one." I said in a voice low enough to warn him that I didn't want this conversation to continue as public knowledge.

"Oh, now I'm intrigued. After dinner?" He asked as Billy's wheelchair made it into the kitchen first. Charlie grumbled behind him in a heavy bathrobe with a pocket full of tissues-and a bright red nose.

"Sure sure," I mimicked Jacob and stepped aside to give Billy access to his spot at the table.

"Sure smells good in here Bella," Billy said with a smile. "Its so good to have a real home cooked meal in this house again."

Charlie grumbled something and reached into the refrigerator for a beer.

"Thank you Billy-and Dad, what do you think your doing?" I chided with ladle in hand. Little by little I was spooning the soup into a large glass bowl.

"Getting a beer, I am over 21 Bells," Charlie huffed and withered under the look I gave him.

"And you're also sick. Iced tea for you," I accentuated my words with a swing of my ladle once again.

Billy thought it was the funniest thing the second Charlie acquiesced to my demand and sat down at the table. "He needs to be whipped into shape."

"Who's the parent here, Isabella Marie?" My father warned, placing his napkin on his lap. He sounded so nasal it was pathetic and funny at the same time.

"Well in this situation you obviously don't know what's best for you so, that would mean it's me. Now, did you want dinner or did you want to go to your room?" I smiled and Charlie let me get away with it.

"Bells, here-let me," Jake said, forcing me to step back from the soup pot. He hoisted it up by the handles and dumped the contents of homemade bliss into the bowl I had been ladling one scoop at a time. "We men want to eat sometime today."

"Oh you are so in for it, Black," I grumbled as he took the bowl and brought it to the table.

"Don't threaten me with a good time." I narrowed my eyes all offended like-but it was obvious I was anything but.

The meal started in a comfortable silence-with the exception of the groans of approval as the feast was consumed. Even in the midst everything around me, Edward Cullen never left my mind. Somehow, I didn't think he ever would.

I needed a male's perspective and I couldn't wait to talk to Jacob.

"Ah Charlie, don't they make a cute couple?" Billy said after the long silence and sounds of chewing and soup slurping became too much.

I think I must have turned five shades of pale and nearly choked to death.

That wasn't even remotely funny.

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A/N: And we meet again!

The plot gets thicker but we are going to work hard through this angst to get to a place we are all longing to see.

Brits23- you are my muse, thank you for everything you do.

If you have not checked out her incredible story Laid Bare please stop by and say hello:

Story Link: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5541886/1/

My Dearest Covenant Sistahs and Twitterazzi: you pwn me! I can not begin to say enough of what is in my heart for each of you.

Though I can not respond to every review, each one brings me a smile.

Sooo…..

Please visit us on the Breaking Trinity thread on the Twilighted site. I post often and will occasionally leave a teaser! Come on down:

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xoxoxoxox


	25. Solar Flares and Radiation

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 23: Solar Flares and Radiation

~)(~

BPOV

"_Ah Charlie, don't they make a cute couple?" Billy said after the long silence and sounds of chewing and soup slurping became too much._

_I think I must have turned five shades of pale and nearly choked to death._

_That wasn't even remotely funny._

Horrified, I looked at Jacob across the table from me. He was wide-eyed with a fork still hanging out of his teeth and the upturned corners of a smile plastered on his mouth.

Wait, was he blushing?

Wait, _why_ was he blushing?

I felt like I had to shake the cobwebs loose before my own face turned any hotter or more flushed. Our fathers couldn't have been scheming. No-no way.

"Awk-ward," Charlie sniffled and accentuated the word, dragging it out nice and long while pressing his fork into the cornbread vegetable casserole before him.

"What do these kids know about going after anything they might actually want? Youth is wasted on the young." Billy replied, clearing his throat but still smiling like the Cheshire cat.

"Speak for yourself," my dad grumbled, casting me a furtive glance. "I'm still plenty young."

"When was that, 1970? Yeah I remember it…bell bottom jeans and polyester shirts. Very fashionable, " Billy chided.

"Now, you listen here-" Charlie pointed his fork in his best friend's direction and before I could tolerate another word, I rose up from the table.

_Oh my God, they _were_ scheming. _It made perfect sense now. These two best-friend-bachelors-with-kids were trying to hook us up!

"Excuse me," I said with the most irritated and flabbergasted voice I had every heard pour out of my own throat.

"Bells-dinner?" Charlie said in a pleading and guilty voice.

"I'm not hungry-if you would all excuse me," I strode out of the kitchen with almost remarkable grace for someone so clumsy-minus my left shoulder hitting the wall as I rounded the corner.

I felt pins and needles shoot down to my fingers but I was shaking with so much adrenaline I just shrugged it off. I made no quiet adventure of getting up the stairs either, as a matter of fact I trampled the wood underfoot like an elephant.

And to punctuate my annoyance-I slammed my door. My coup-de-gras. _That was just for you,__Charlie._

How could any of them think I would be remotely interested in Jacob? Yes, we had a history as friends but that was from like a million years ago. The last time I had seen him before yesterday he had tried to make me eat mud-pies!

I pulled my hand through my hair, instantly mindful of the sting of my knuckles and pulled my long sleeve over my hand. With a flick of my finger I turned on my radio cassette player.

The Cure- _In-Between Days _played over the scratchy speakers. The odd gothic subtleness of Robert Smith owned me and right now, it fit my mood perfectly.

I went to the window that Edward had crawled through last night and opened it wide. I needed air and the cold breeze felt refreshing. So, there I leaned, huffing my breath out into the darkness-crooned by a British goth-boy and wondering at what temperature the air that left my lungs would crystallize.

I wondered what Edward was doing in Alaska and if-by any chance-he was thinking of me at this exact moment. I knew I would have to come clean with Charlie at some point if we were actually going to do this and I knew that would go over like a fart in church.

_Nunnery. Nunnery. Nunnery._

Damn my Ophelia side. And for that matter, Damn the Hamlet that walked the parapets in the great frozen north.

I missed him. The ripping, tearing, aching kind of longing that felt so full and yet so unrequited at this moment in time. It should have been Edward downstairs with me tonight-having a pleasant dinner with Charlie and sharing in the taste of my cooking.

Like that would ever happen.

Maybe lack of sleep was making me delusional. I just couldn't seem to stay on one coherent thought before my head took me on the grand tour of tangents. There was one fleeting constant though-it came in a gorgeous package with wild and upswept copper hair and eyes so green they reminded me of summertime meadows.

I swear I missed him so much that I could almost picture the ghostly apparition of him standing just beyond my reach. Even the patterns of my breath seemed to form an embodiment of him-and like the situation at hand, that version of Edward floated into the world and away from my grasp.

I swear I was losing my mind. Sanity was slaying itself in favor of something more fanciful-and at the same time dying of anguish while I craved.

And crave I did. More than any woman should ever admit without losing her power. This man was driving me to the edge of reason-making me topsy-turvy with desire and anxiety; hope and despair; passion and doubt.

I reached for my cell phone from my haversack which I had dropped haphazardly on the floor after I rushed home and unpacked the ingredients for tonight's dinner.

No new messages.

I had called him this morning and it was already almost quarter-of-seven. I needed a fix. I was becoming a junkie. I barely recognized myself anymore.

I felt like I was torn in two. Each with distinctive personalities, hatreds, passions holding only one thing in common.

Edward Cullen.

I started to text him, hoping it would prompt him to call me when I heard the rapping of knuckles at my bedroom door.

"Go away," I glanced at the offending portal like a demon was standing just behind the entranceway.

"Bells-It's Jake-can I come in?" a penitent voice spoke in hushed tones behind the door.

I looked down to my cell and back up once again. With a flick of my fingers I closed the old-flip style phone and stayed at my place by the window. "It's open."

The smell of sandalwood and cumin and earthy spices entered before Jacob did, so much more acute to me without the overpowering aromas of a fantastic dinner cooking in the background.

"Hey," I said meekly, suddenly feeling a little fuzzy and kind of drained.

"Hey yourself," Jake replied and closed the door behind him with one hand. In the other he was carrying my dinner-fork and knife included. "Charlie made me bring it up, you still hungry?"

Starving actually.

"I'm good," I grumbled.

"You calling someone? Do you want me to go back downstairs?" Dulcet dark eyes met mine and I instantly felt like an Ogre for the way I had reacted downstairs.

"No, its alright," I said simply, setting my phone down on the window sill. The air was heavy between us and I felt like that was all my fault.

"Jacob,"

"Look Bella-"

I couldn't help but smile as we both started to try and explain away the downstairs incident at exactly the same time.

"You first," Jake smiled. Solar flares hit me with incredible warm radiation. I was going to come down with melanoma if I wasn't careful.

"I'm sorry about the whole dinner thing-not the food part, just the leaving part," I huffed, turning my back to the window. I tried to gather my thoughts into one cohesive strain.

"It's cool. I mean our dads were being kinda lame and all," Jacob set the plate down on the edge of my bed and stuffed his massive hands into his pockets. I couldn't help but notice the slight red blush that crawled over the balls of his cheeks.

"I chalk it up to age, you know they are getting up there," I rolled my eyes and I was rewarded with Jacob's throaty laugh. More Solar flares.

"Yeah-sure sure," he smiled and looked down at the floor for something interesting to catch his attention. I noticed his nose crinkling as he looked along the perimeter for whatever offended his senses.

My room was clean. I wasn't sure what that crinkle was implying.

"I'm still glad you came tonight, minus the fiasco," I said, playing with the edge of my sweater with my fingers.

"Me too." Jake said and jerked his head toward the bed, silently asking me if he could sit down.

I nodded.

"Is there something on your mind Bella, besides the downstairs disaster?" Jake pushed his long black hair behind his back and I could see the massive girth of his neck. The guy was huge-on the verge of steroidal. Even with that, his ebony eyes were so intent on me that for the moment I felt like I was the only person in the world.

It felt kind of weird and special all at the same time.

"Yeah I guess you could say I have something on my mind and it has to do with a certain guy," I groaned and leaned my backside against the cold and open window. I paid close attention to the nails I had bitten to the quick earlier today, flicking jagged, raw cuticles with imaginary importance.

"Really?" Jake perked his voice up.

No one knew about Edward and I-except for his brother Emmett and his sister Alice. This felt so weird as it formed in my mind but a sense of relief washed over me. Finally someone else would know about what Edward and I were building and the dangerous road that was bringing us there.

I wasn't his dirty little secret anymore.

Nice internal choice of words on my part.

And yes, part of me still felt outraged and wanted to scream about what I had been relegated to in this brief but bizarre friendship? Relationship? What exactly could I call it up until this point?

"Bells?" Jake asked, one brow upraised as he watched my inner dialogue play against my face. Was I becoming a crazy person? I think the answer must have been an emphatic yes.

"Sorry," I grumbled and went bright red. Jake was studying me and hanging on the precipice of my words. "What was I saying again?"

He took a step closer to me, hands still stuffed into his pockets. "Something about this guy who has been on your mind? Does he have a name?"

There was something overtly Casanova in his voice-replacing his jovial tone with a little more bass and breath. When I looked up into his eyes I could literally see them smoldering.

Only Edward had ever really looked at me that way before.

Solar flares made the temperature in the room shoot up ten degrees and I could feel the burn when we locked gazes. Right then, it hit me.

Smoldering-bass voiced-breathy sounds-Jacob thought that certain guy I had been thinking about was him.

With tangible difficulty I stood up just a little straighter. "He does actually. His name is Edward Cullen."

Jake was silent for a long moment and those smoldering eyes were internally doused with a hydrant full of blasting water. He huffed out a breath and looked toward the ceiling like he was imagining it wasn't really there.

"Edward Cullen. Jesus Bells-not you too," He finally said in a low, defeated voice. When he turned his eyes to me again he looked as lost as a puppy that had wondered too far out of their home yard.

Wait, what was that supposed to mean-not you too?

Jake sighed and shook his head. Only then did I realize my internal filter had somehow over-ridden my vocal chords. I must have said it aloud.

"I know your boy, Edward Cullen. Believe me, every girl from the Reservation to Port Angeles knows him too. And pretty much every guy in the same radius hates him for it," Jake grumbled and turned around, removing his hands from his pockets and nervously started playing with his hair.

"I don't understand?" I know my brow crinkled as I spoke, I could feel it weighing over my eyes. Not a very attractive habit I admit.

Jacob sat down on my bed and mumbled.

"Don't leave me in the dark Jake!" I folded my arms before my chest and started chewing on my lip.

"Bells-he's just one of those guys, yanno? The rich-pretty-boy kind that every girl wants to get down on all-fours for." He groaned and I felt my face turn hot with anger.

"You don't even know him, do you? Not really anyway?" I huffed and Jake shook his head at my obvious irritation.

"I do know him-from baseball. I know his brother from football too. If you ask me they are both arrogant pricks. " There was that bass in his voice again. This time it wasn't the melty kind of bass but rather a more aggravated version of it.

He was right on when it came to arrogance. Edward certainly had it but it was kind of…sexy on him. I mean who doesn't want a guy who is confident and assertive?

Emmett on the other hand, I didn't know very well at all. But if he was anything like Edward and Alice, that observation couldn't be entirely true.

"So what does that have to do with girls that span the length of the state of Washington then?" I pushed him, wanting to know more. "I mean he had a girlfriend, so what are you trying to tell me?"

Oh please-don't tell me he was a player. Don't tell me he had slept with every girl in the state. I found myself starting to get angry, maybe even jealous with the idea.

What if he was feeding me a bullshit line all this time just to get in my pants without suspicion?

"_Had_ a girlfriend?" Jake raised a brow at me but I was already hitting an internal fever-pitch.

"Jake!" I hissed out his name like a cat on the defensive.

"Whoa Bells-calm down," He grumbled. "I'm not saying he whored himself out-at least not that I know of. I'm just saying that every girl I know-and I know a lot of them-are all hot after him. I guess you could say he's stiff competition in that respect."

Minor crisis averted. For now.

"So, what's going on with you and Edward Cullen?" Jake barked his name like a curse word. I could taste the venom in it. "You said he _had_ a girlfriend-so what, are you his girlfriend now or something?"

"Kind of-sort of-I don't know," I chewed more furiously on my lip. When my eyes flickered over to Jacob he looked like he had gone four shades of pale while coming down with a fever.

"Bella!" Jake growled and I motioned for him to keep his voice down. Knowing Charlie it was a matter of time before he stalked me like some under-cover CIA agent on a mission.

"What? I mean-we have sort of been seeing each other but nothing official," Did all the air somehow get sucked out of the room? Maybe it was the way Jake was looking at me. I couldn't be sure.

"I think you better tell me the whole story," Jacob said as he leaned back on my bed. He sniffed at the air around us audibly and once again crinkled his nose in disgust.

I couldn't be sure but I thought I heard him mumble, "Should've fucking figured."

~)(~

EPOV

I fell asleep in the chair beside Tanya's bed. It took a shit-load of cohersion to get her to lay down and even more to keep my distance when she did. I knew she needed to be held-coddled and taken care of. But I just didn't have it in me.

And I felt like a shit for not being able to extend myself that far for her. I might have been here in body but when it came to spirit and heart and mind, I was in Forks having lunch in our cafeteria with Bella.

Wouldn't that rock the worlds of Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley and half the other student body that wouldn't understand what we had?

I woke up when I heard someone come into Tanya's room. I blinked my eyes clear to find Laurent standing in the doorway, looking at me with almost seething hatred.

"Your parents want you. I'll take the next watch," he said with the most ungrateful tone. It was my father's credit card that bought him a first class ticket out here because Tanya wanted him to be here.

Maybe I was exhausted but the thin line that kept me from ripping his heart out with my bear fingers was starting to blur.

I narrowed my eyes when I passed him, staring him down till I was sure he got the point. When Laurent shifted to move away from me-his body language told me I won that pissing match.

No, it wasn't about Tanya. It was about respect. Guys were big on that sort of thing.

With a loud yawn and walking-stretch I stepped through the maze of corridors till I reached the main foyer. Esme was on the settee and Carlisle was pacing the confines in slow, calculated movements.

I had seen this scenario before the move to Forks-when Emmett was in enough trouble to start the quest for a more wholesome place to live.

"Edward," My mother said with tired eyes and she patted the seat on the sofa next to her. "We thought you might be in with Tanya-is she sleeping finally?"

I moved like a robot to the seat beside my mother. "Yeah, she passed out. What time is it?"

"Four-thirty." Carlisle said as he pinched the bridge of his nose and continued pacing.

Wow, I had taken a helluva power nap.

"What's going on?" I finally managed, feeling the tension in the room poised on the edge of a knife.

"Your father notified the school and your job-of course the hospital as well about the impending absences," Esme said softly.

Alright, that was no big deal. I'm sure he did the same for Tanya. Carlisle was just like that-proactive.

"The funeral will be in two days and the viewing-closed casket-will be tomorrow. Your mother and I are taking care of the arrangements. Kate and Carmen have asked that your mother and I continue to be the executor of the estate for Tanya," Carlisle said, pausing for a moment to glance at me.

"What can I do to help?" I asked, feeling bile rise in my throat when I met withering blue eyes. Something was upsetting Carlisle.

A long moment of silence trickled in between us and I remained stone-still. It was unnerving how I could do that and I knew it irritated my family to no end. I wasn't sure what was going on but something was definitely looming over their heads.

"Edward-what is going on with you and Tanya?" My father said in a very no-nonsense voice.

"Carlisle," My mother said in an alarming tone and kept her voice low.

"No Esme, I don't feel we have the time to beat around the proverbial bush. Edward, I asked you a question," he said in perfect stoicism. He ceased to move and drew up to rigid height. I realized just then whose traits I had inherited most predominantly in times of stress.

I didn't say a word because I knew my father. To ask me a question as defined as this one-he already had an answer.

Another dramatic pause and the silence was so deafening I could hear the seconds of the large ornate clock on the wall tick its fatalistic beats.

"Edward-you know Tanya lost her cell phone after hearing the news. Laurent was kind enough to check to see if there were any additional messages for her." Esme said softly and I could see the tears blotting at her eyes.

And there it was.

I was speechless.

They knew and of course, Laurent had been the one to tell them. It wasn't that I did not want it out in the open, I just planned on doing it myself. Laurent had taken that choice from me. That left me with a few unkind ideas of what I could take out of him in repayment.

"Edward, you realize this is a precarious time," Pale blond brows knitted in consternation. "By the time stamp on your message, I know this was prior to your knowledge of Irina but none-the-less I cannot condone these actions." Carlisle, ever the diplomat, used a voice of such grace I felt like I was listening to Winston-fucking-Churchill. Yeah, this day was certainly shaping up to be 'a day that shall live in infamy'.

When my father paused, I knew it was my turn to speak and the silence would remain until I chose my words and gave them voice.

Here goes nothing…and everything.

"It has nothing to do with your permission. I understand your ties to this family, I have built my own too over the years. But I just can't continue like this-I'm not happy and I haven't been for a long time." I tried not to sound like a whining child but when Carlisle stood before me like this, how could I feel any way otherwise?

"I warned you of this that night I caught you both in your room," Carlisle said in a stronger tone but still his voice never lifted into a new decibel. I watched him pinch the bridge of his nose more severely now.

The events of the night he spoke of rang like a shot through my mind. But this conversation wasn't on my terms-I was ready to tell them but the decisions was made for me rather than allowing me to move forward the way I envisioned.

"I know," I said strongly, pressing my fingers together between my spread knees, easing out the tension. "But you had to realize this couldn't last forever, despite your warnings."

More silence.

"Of course there was that chance," Esme said softly, giving me a sympathetic look before turning her attention to Carlisle.

"You mentioned you had found someone else Edward," Carlisle released his fingers from the bridge of his nose and looked at me with such disappointment I could almost touch it. "Does this have anything to do with Chief Swan's daughter, Isabella?"

It was probably obvious by my reaction the moment her name was said. _Isabella._ She shot through me like an electric charge and I was up on my feet with a new sense of determination and craving.

The haze of this conversation lifted and I felt more ready than ever before to stand and defend what we were building.

"I can see that it does," Carlisle said with a heavy sigh in his voice. "How long has this been going on, Edward?'

"A few days, " I said in earnest. "But I want a whole lot more time with her."

"Edward," My mother said and I thought I detected something hopeful and wistful in her voice.

"Esme, please." Carlisle remanded in the same even tone that belayed the maelstrom within. I knew they had to present me with a unified front but it was obvious now they weren't of like mind on the situation.

Knowing my parents, they had both probably spoken at length about this already. That didn't mean they would see eye to eye, however. Though, for all intents and purposes, I could not ever remember a time when they had been loud or verbal or nasty to each other.

"Carlisle-don't be unfair. You know how I love Tanya like another daughter but we knew this might be the outcome. It does not present itself in an opportune moment but can you not see the light in his eyes?"

I knew my mother's words struck a chord with Carlisle, I could hear the subtle change in his tone.

"I forbid you to say a word of this to Tanya until such time as Irina is given proper respects and burial and I have had a chance to speak with Kate, Carmen and Eleazar. I will not have Tanya doing something desperate…in her already delicate state." My father said and I knew it was his edict-the final note on the concerto he had been playing in concord with my mother.

Another long moment of silence passed.

"I assume Emmett and Alice already know about this?" Carlisle asked though he already seemed to know the answer.

I could do nothing more than nod my head.

"We will speak to them as well, Edward. I trust you know that you and I will need to spend some time in-depth, in conversation, on the ramifications of this…situation.. before you proceed in this course of action." My father was increasingly displeased.

I felt like a shit-heel. "Yes, Dad."

"If you will excuse me, I have some additional arrangements to make," Carlisle nodded to me and closed the space that separated him from my mother. With a short lean, he kissed her gently and I averted my eyes out of respect.

As he drew up, I could see the exhaustion and disappointment etched like lines into his already pale face.

The echo of his footsteps shot through my mind on replay. I was caught off guard and I could thank Laurent for that. I would see to it his life would be fucking miserable when I was done with him.

"Edward," my mother said softly and I turned to look into her fathomless eyes. She bore the emotional brunt of everything with such grace and poise. I felt like I was breaking her heart and yet she was too kind to show it to me.

"Yes?" I said solemnly.

"Isabella must be a beautiful girl to have captured your fancy. I know things might look impossible right now but I have faith they will work out. Tell me something about her?"

I foundered for a single piece of information I could share about Bella that was…appropriate for my mother. I couldn't exactly say what the girl invoked within me-the passion, desire and pure feral lust.

Truth be told, I had no fucking idea what to say. I would have to remedy that. Fast.

"She's amazing," I said with genuine awe. It was simple and perfect and true.

Esme smiled. "I have no doubt Edward."

~)(~

"So, that's the situation," I groaned, raking my hands through my hair.

"Well this sucks but it's got positive sides too, right?" Emmett said, adjusting his tie over and over again as he looked onto the mirror. "Damn, I can never get this thing straight. I need Rosalie."

"Here, let me." Alice said with a sharp exhale, turning our brother around to face her. Her nimble fingers undid the tragedy of a Windsor knot that Emmett had tried to create.

It was just after five-o-clock in Alaska and we were about to attend a large family dinner at some restaurant Esme had booked. Apparently it was one of Irina's favorites here in town.

And with that said, a good portion of the friends Irina and her parents before her had here, wanted a place to toast and remember before the viewing tomorrow morning.

"I wanted to tell them on my own terms, Emm." I ran my hands through my hair again, overdressed and anxious. Besides dealing with my parents, I ached for Bella. I craved her.

"So, you want to tag-team Laurent or should I just be there to referee?" Emmett asked, gagging slightly as Alice overly tightened the knot at his throat.

"Focus, boys." Alice said, stepping back to admire her work on the tie-which our brother was already trying to loosen enough to breath. "We have to get through this. Kate, Carmen and Tanya need us right now. Edward, you know I love Bella already-but we need to get through the next few days before we can even think about what's next."

Alice was the voice of reason. The yin to my yang. But the fault in her thoughts was underestimating just how fucking bad I wanted to be with Bella-right now, every minute of every day.

"I can't go on pretending to be something I'm not, namely her boyfriend." I grumbled but it fell on deaf ears.

"Just be glad she hasn't had the mind to check her messages, bro." Emmett said, tucking his hands into his slacks and looking almost debonair.

Shit, I hadn't even thought of that. Laurent was obviously one step ahead of the rest of us. I wouldn't be stupid enough to underestimate him again.

I morbidly wondered what exactly would happen if Tanya did decide to check her messages before I had the chance to speak to her. What kind of damage control could I put in place to prepare for those events?

Fuck, my mind was swarming.

The ring of Alice's cell phone drew me back to reality. I heard her tone and without knowing what she said, I knew she was talking to Jasper.

In a matter of seconds, Emmett was dialing his Crackberry and I knew he was trying to reach Rosalie.

I needed to call Bella. Soon.

With all the anxiety racing through me only the sound of her voice could set me right, keep me on the path. Emmett leaned into his phone and started pacing to one side of the room while Alice was standing dead center, obviously preoccupied.

I knew it was up to me to find Tanya and prepare for the evening ahead. I just wasn't sure how much more of this I could take…and how Laurent was going to survive tonight in one fucking piece.

~)(~

BPOV

"So, there you have it." I said, inhaling a shaking breath as I let Jacob absorb the entire story in one fell swoop.

"It sounds like more trouble than it's worth," Jake grumbled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the red kerchief. Rileys' kerchief-to blot away the thin sheen of sweat that glistened over caramel skin.

He looked like he was coming down with a fever.

"I know it does, Jake. And you're the only one besides Edward and I to know about what's going on. You cant say anything-not to anyone and especially not Billy." I walked over to where he sat on my bed and joined him there.

I felt so vulnerable.

"Sworn to secrecy, eh? Is this guy really worth it all, Bells? Worth enough to lie to your father and make me lie to mine?" Ebony eyes met mine and I could see myself reflected there. The mirror-eye painted me about as fragile as I felt.

"Its not about that," I groaned and reached the back of my hand up to brush Jacobs forehead. He was extremely hot to the touch. "Hey, are you feeling alright? Your burning up?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," He said with a slight exaggeration but didn't pull away from my touch. "So tell me Bells-what is _it_ about, exactly?"

"I don't know how else to describe it but it just feels-right. And then sometimes it feels so wrong. I need your help-cant you just whip out that guy to guy dictionary and help me decipher what is really going on here?"

"It doesn't work like that." Jake exhaled sharply, shaking his head.

"Can you try-for me?" I asked quietly, feeling my anxiety writhe under the skin like a flame.

"You wont like what I have to say but hey, you asked, right?" Jake snickered. That's right-snickered. "You already gave yourself away, upfront and without any remorse or pretenses or any kind of demands for respect that a woman should make on her prospective suitor."

Ouch. That was harsh. Was he serious-prospective suitor? What is this, the dating game?

"He said he dumped his girlfriend for you, maybe you're just that good-where it counts. But who's to say he wont do it to you when the next piece of tail presents itself?"

"You're just being cruel," I said in a wisp of a voice. No one had ever spoken to me that way and I never thought Jake would be the first one to break that ice. "I trusted you and…you're throwing it in my face because you don't like Edward."

There was a long silence and I actually felt like I might cry. Was this what I should be thinking about myself? Is this how Edward really saw me? It had to be true if Jake was saying it-he wouldn't just hurt me for no reason, would he?

"Bells, I'm sorry," he said with a self-deprecating voice. His hand rose up and slowly, softly rubbed a warming circle on my back. "You're right, I don't like Edward Cullen but there has to be something redeeming if you're into him like you are. I just-I just don't want to see you get hurt…..and here I am doing to you the last thing I want to see happen. I'm an asshole."

"Jake," I whispered and my eyes were already bleary with tears. "You're not a complete asshole-maybe just a little bit of one."

"I've almost made you cry and you're right, I was being cruel. You need me to be supportive and I've done nothing but shit on your parade. I won't do it again Bella. I promise you, I will _never_ hurt you again." he said with such steadfast voice that I actually felt like he might truly mean it.

I nodded and rubbed my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt.

"I just don't know what to do-or think-or anything, Jake, " I said softly. I craved Edward-ached for him and it became stronger with each passing minute.

"I don't have any answers for you, Bells. Take it as it comes and listen to your heart-just know that I'm here for you, no matter what happens," he said soothingly.

I snuffled my tears back and cleared my throat. "I'm gonna wash my face, I'll be right back."

"Then promise me you'll eat something. I can go warm it up for you?"

"Alright," I said as I stood up. Jake rose as well and I took the moment to give him the biggest hug I could muster.

His cheek pressed against my head and for a long moment he just held me tight enough to find some semblance of stability. The solar flares returned and the angst ebbed away from me in his embrace.

I made my way to the bathroom and I heard Jake head down the stairs-as lead footed as I had been earlier. In the fluorescent bathroom light I took a good look at myself in the mirror.

I looked pale and sallow with puffy eyes, red-rimmed from wiping my tears away too hard. I braced my hands on either side of the porcelain sink and let myself find a natural rhythm to breathing again.

Jake was right about some things. Could Edward and I transform what we had into more? Would we ever be more than what we were? Will it work?

I had no answers and even more questions.

I ran the cold water in the sink and started to splash my face with the liquid gathered in my cupped hands.

In the distance, I thought I heard my phone ring-and without even realizing it, I was already out of the bathroom door.

Jake stood there with my phone in his hands, looking at the ancient contraption almost quizzically.

"Who was it?" I asked in a huff, water dripping off my face.

"I don't know-I didn't look at the display before I answered. I caught it on the fourth ring but the line went dead after I picked it up and said hello. " His hand was outstretched, knowing I would obviously want to see for myself.

I took the phone and flipped to the menu, blinking back water from my eyes.

Sure enough, it was Edward.

Why did he hang up?

,

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A/N: Happy Post-Thanksgiving-fullness.

I would like to thank Brits_23 for once more, continuing to remain epic-beta. Special shouts to the Covenant of the Snarl and Twitterazzi.

I appreciate and love every review, special Snarls to those who take the time to show the love, you know who you are.

Next Update: Not yet determined. Approximately December 15-22, 2010 (tis the season to have a lot less time to write).

Every review gets this Elf typing faster and updating sooner…


	26. For all Pretense and Purposes

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 24: For all Pretense and Purposes

~)(~

EPOV

Dinner went as expected. Most of the small but wealthy town had attended, exceeding the RSVP number my mother had set down. The beautiful thing about a small place like Denali, Alaska was the obvious reality that lives became intertwined- and oddly enough the restaurant owners didn't seem to mind having to feed another 45+ people.

Of course, the restaurant wasn't exactly equipped to handle the sheer volume of patrons. But it didn't seem to matter. The town was remembering one if its own.

Not a single person that was forced to stand while eating voiced a complaint about it. Of course, most of the men had given up their seats, including Emmett and I so that the women could sit and eat in comfort.

This was an estrogen ocean.

Not that men didn't need the same kind of closure, we just handled things a little differently. Usually we showed our remorse by taking care of the women we had with us- wives, sisters, daughters, mothers, girlfriends. The men were on their best behaviors and came stocked to the nines with all the manners we had ever learned. I thought of it as testicular protective mode.

And I won't lie-keeping myself from ripping across the crowd and destroying Laurent as I stood behind Tanya took every fucking ounce of energy I had. I wasn't going to make a scene here. I was on an invisible leash, for now.

In my attempts to distract myself and keep myself in control I noticed Emmett was hawking him too.

_Laurent was on borrowed time._

~)(~

The hors d'oeuvres and salad courses went off without a hitch. Esme had implored the owners to create a spread of Irina's favorites as a representation of her memory.

They had most definitely delivered. I don't know what strings they had to pull to get this entire meal together with so many people to feed. What I did know was that however it came together- it couldn't have been cheap.

We started with a crispy phyllo-pear-and-brie tart bathed in a cranberry and port reduction. The salad was a simple farmer's style with strawberries and pine nuts and white balsamic dressing. For dinner, I knew the main course was going to be Sea Scallops and Foie Gras with a side of parsnip vanilla mouse and black currant marmalade.

In the midst of the crowd that swarmed around Tanya's family during the transition into dinner, I tapped Emmett on the shoulder. It was unspoken that he was to run interference while I stepped outside and he nodded to show he understood.

I needed to steal a few moments away. I had to speak to Bella.

Beneath my controlled exterior, I was fucking insane with the aching need to hear her voice. I had to get a fix of her into my body and I couldn't wait another God-damned minute.

My fingers were shaking as I dialed her number and pushed out of the door into the ice-cold Alaskan night. I was shielded only by my suit jacket and the wind was a howling bitch that already had my teeth chattering.

The first ring went unanswered and I could see my breath as I started to pace, avoiding the smokers who had lined up outside to indulge.

The second and third rings had me on edge. Why wasn't Bella answering her phone? I knew she needed this as much as I did- the agony wasn't just one-sided. So why wasn't she picking up?

I was almost out of my skin in the space it took for the fourth ring to land. And then I heard the phone pick up. But it wasn't Bella that answered.

"Hello?" A husky male voice said and he was slightly out of breath.

I shook my head to clear my sudden confusion and promptly hung up, ripping the phone down from my ear to double check the number I had dialed. Hell, it was so cold I must've fucking hit the wrong keys.

I was going to have to remedy that and put Bella on my speed dial.

With frozen fingers, I looked up the last number I had called. There was no doubt it was Bella's. Her name was on the display and I swear to fuck, I was about to combust into flames.

It didn't matter how cold it was outside, I was a raging inferno on the inside. I sat down on the brick outcropping at the front of the restaurant before I went off and did something dangerous or stupid.

I just stared fucking blankly at the phone in my hand and Bella's name on my screen.

I was seething.

Who the fuck was that guy answering Bella's phone? How the hell was he close enough to her to pick it up-where was she? My mind raced and battery acid ignited in my veins.

Was this my fucking penance for everything I had done to her while I was with Tanya? Had Bella finally given up on me-on us-on everything we had said just before I left?

I clenched my fist around my phone, feeling my injured knuckles protest and threaten to reopen the wounds I had inflicted on that brick wall just the other day. The plastic casing around my Crackberry groaned in protest and I was seconds away from smashing it to the ground.

I fucking wanted answers…now.

My lip curled and I started to dial Bella's number before I knew what I was doing. I never got to finish it though, just as I was ready to hit send I saw her incoming call.

I ripped the phone to my ear and didn't even give her a chance to say hello.

"Bella," I growled dangerously, my voice heavy with venom.

I heard her gasp on the line.

"Ed- Edward I am so sorry, I was in the bathroom," her voice was trembling and I cut her off.

"Who the fuck was that Bella?" I drew out the words and sneered. I felt like a wounded animal ready to strike out at the first sign of weakness.

"That- that was my friend Jacob. I was in the bathroom and he answered my phone. Edward-I'm so sorry," She was speaking a mile-a-minute trying to avoid me interrupting her again.

_Jacob. Who the fuck was Jacob?_

"What is he doing there, Bella?" I let the jealousy rip through my voice and I could almost taste her shaking and flushed and confused. _No guy answers my girl's phone._

"Edward, it's not what you think. I swear to you." She panicked at my silence and I closed my eyes in an attempt to control myself.

"Then what is it, exactly _Isabella_?" I had never called her by her full-given-name. It felt fucking powerful.

Her breath hitched on the line and I leaned deeper into the phone. I was so fucking angry-jealous-and ready to explode with need for her. Bella was mine and it was apparent she needed to be reminded of that.

She was dead silent, panting. My-fucking-God the things I would do to her if I was there, right now.

After I destroyed this Jacob guy.

"I asked you a question," I reminded and I heard her try to regulate her breathing.

"Jake and his dad came over for dinner-we're old friends. He was here yesterday to take a look at my truck and…" She sounded so earnest that I forced myself to get a grip over my raging anger.

"Go. On," I managed and it took everything I had.

"I know I can trust him, Edward. You have Alice and Emmett and I just…needed a friend, someone I could talk to about us. I can't trust anyone else. That's all that happened. I swear."

I breathed out and pressed my lips closer to the phone. Bella had never given me a reason to distrust her-where as I had given her a hundred real reasons to never trust me.

And she said the word, 'us'. Just hearing that coming from her delicious mouth made me want her, now.

But back to the matter at hand.

"He doesn't answer your phone ever again. Your mine, Isabella-my girl. I'm coming home the day after tomorrow no matter what it takes-and I am going to spend an entire fucking day reminding you of that."

…after I found out who Jacob was and had a little talk with him. Was that the earthy scent that lingered in her doorway just last night? Bella said he had been there yesterday.

"Edward," I could hear her crumbling on the phone and I swear to God my girl was in pure fucking agony without me. Shit, I had to admit I wanted her so fucking bad at that moment that I was ready to jump through the phone to get to her.

"I'm fucking crazy without you Bella." I could hear my voice soften even as my breathing quickened its pace. "Being this far away from you is killing me."

"I feel it too," she answered so gently; it took everything I had in me to stay still and not call the airlines to get a ticket for myself tonight. My family was here and they needed me too.

There were no words to say. I sat there listening to her uneven breathing and I knew she was doing the same. But I couldn't stay out here forever-now that the rage was starting to subside the feeling of the cold returned to me and I knew I was going to freeze to death if I didn't get inside.

"Listen to me, Bella-I have to go inside. I'm coming home for you as fast as I can get there," I felt like I should have said more but I couldn't find my fucking words.

She was all I God-damn wanted in this world.

"Edward," she breathed again and I knew without her saying another word the agony it meant to have to hang up the phone.

"I know Bella- I know. Two more days, I swear I will get to you if I have to crawl." And I meant every word of it.

She hung up without saying goodbye and for another few seconds I sat there with the phone pressed to my ear-refusing to admit she was no longer on the line. Being away from Bella was harder than I thought it was going to be. It wasn't just the physical cravings, although they were a thousand times amplified with her so far away. I could explode with my fucking insane need to be inside of her, to feel her wrapped around me as we closed off the world around us.

But there was a different kind of ache that ripped me in two. It felt like a heart-sickness, a depressive loneliness that put me on edge. I felt like an animal pining for it's mate-crying out into the night without hearing that call returned.

When the cold finally became too much I made my way back inside. I found Emmett and he nodded me over, the dinner portion already being served. Tanya sat next to Laurent and her hand reached for mine as I passed her.

I gave it to her because I had no other choice. I was being watched and it wasn't just by Carlisle and Esme, it was by Laurent and Kate and Carmen too. Did that little fucker tell everyone in earshot?

Somehow, I wouldn't put it past him.

~)(~

BPOV

I was a wreck when I hung up with Edward- exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions I had been whipped through.

"Jake, why did you answer my phone!" I half whined a very legitimate question.

"You were in the bathroom, I was just gonna ask whoever was on the line to hold for you," he grumbled, wiping at his sweat dampened brow. "I thought it could have been important or something. I mean you were holding the phone when I came up here, so…I don't know. Whatever."

"I do have voice mail, you know," I grumbled again, softening my tone in defeat that had nothing really to do with Jacob.

"Didn't even think of that, Bells. I'm sorry," Jake nodded, plopping down on my bed.

A torrent of emotions still swirled around me, making my thoughts rip in different directions all at once.

First there was the fear that gripped me when Jacob picked up the phone. I knew how bad it would look to Edward and he met me with the anger and jealousy that actually fit the situation. I really couldn't blame him for those.

This…thing he and I were trying to build…it was bigger than we were. It had a life of its own-it was obsessive and possessive and primal. It was all-consuming. It was heaven and hell.

Even in the midst of this rollercoaster ride with Edward, I was dealing with everything from my end too. I was both angry at-and afraid- of myself. How dare Edward accuse me of something when I have done nothing to make him feel distrustful of me!

And then there was that swooning, wanton feeling that came with hearing him call me his girl.

I was giddy and frustrated all at the same time.

And of course, Jacob was here to witness it all. From the look on his face he wasn't too happy about the display that carried on before him. Maybe, it had something to do with the fever that overcame him but somehow, I doubted it.

"Bells- this is kinda bi-polar even for you, isn't it?" Jake asked, sitting Indian-style on the floor next to me. It was like he could read my mind just by the steadiness of my eyes.

"How do you know? Yesterday was the first day I've seen you in like forever," I growled, internally licking my wounds.

"Hey-hey, its Jake remember? You don't have to bite, I won't try to get in your head or anything," he said in a reassuring voice and the smile that etched over his lips didn't touch his eyes. These weren't solar flares.

"I'm sorry- I just don't know what's going on with me anymore. Its like one minute I'm alright and the next I'm beside myself. It can't be healthy but-I can't seem to make it go away either." I shook my head, feeling suddenly sorrowful and almost-depressed.

I felt like a junkie on a bad T.V. show. You know, when the main character finally realizes they have a problem but just didn't know how to make it better. Where was my perfectly cued music and montage of all the helpful options in my life?

All I could envision was Edward.

"You can't be sorry for what you have no control over," Jake said gently. "But I'm here for you Bells."

"Thanks Jake because right now, I really do need you." If he only knew how much I actually did need those solar flares again.

"Well good, then we agree on something, finally." he rolled his eyes and like reading my mind, he tossed me radiant beams. My flares were back and not a moment to soon.

~)(~

"So, you want to tell me about that little hissy-fit you pulled at dinner? I mean it was just a joke- you know that right?" Charlie sniffled, squeezing his nose into the tissue he held.

It was almost 9pm and he looked pathetic in his pajamas and old-man slippers with that horrible dark blue and black striped robe. Charlie's nose was bulbous and red and his face looked pale, especially with his bushy black eyebrows and mustache contrasting the white of his skin.

At least he didn't sound as stuffy as he had been before dinner. Maybe the soup really did help him out a little. I was still a little worried about Jake and his fever, I'd have to give him a call tomorrow and make sure he was feeling better.

"I wouldn't say it was a hissy fit. It was more of a generalized aggravation with a father trying to interfere in his daughter's teenage love-life," I grumbled and drew my legs up toward my chest as I sat on the couch in the living room.

"So, you admit to having a love-life?" Charlie raised his brow and leaned back in his recliner, adjusting his position to be able to look at me and then look away in more comfort.

"Dad," I gave him the voice that said I didn't want to talk about this.

"Well Bells- I'm not too comfortable in talking about this either," he scratched the back of his neck. "Any one of these yahoos in particular?"

Didn't Charlie and I just have this conversation a few days ago?

He must have seen the look in my eyes that screamed my discomfort with this. "You don't have to name names or anything-not yet at least."

When I shot him the evil eye, he put his hands up defensively. "Hey, I am trying to be a cool parent here but at some point I need to know what's going on. And let's not forget- this is a small town Bells, of which your dear ol' dad is the chief of police."

"Isn't that entrapment or something?" I groaned.

"Nice try, kiddo."

"Well, I'm pleading the fifth amendment." I didn't have anything to say that was Charlie-friendly when it came to Edward or my love-life so it was better to err on the side of caution and bring this portion of our conversation to a close.

"Just out of curiosity Bells-what's the chance for Jacob?" he asked. Charlie loved a good mystery to solve and the moment he said Jake's name I could almost feel the wishful thinking leaping off of him.

"Dad…" I warned, rolling my eyes.

"Mike Newton?"

I remained absolutely quiet but I was sure he could tell by the look on my face that Mike was definitely not on my nor his imaginary list.

"You know I talked to his Dad not a day ago- " Charlie continued, taking up the mug of tea I had made for him after Jake and Billy left. "the kid seems to have it for you. Comes from good stock but not as good as Jacob of course. Which reminds me, Mr. Newton did say he is going to be looking for some part-time help."

"Really?" Now that sparked my interest. My funds were at an all time low and I wasn't about to mooch off of my dad's moderate income. A part-time job would be exactly what I needed to get motivated-and some income to put towards college next year. Of course, if I didn't get a scholarship, my first year of college was going to have to be delayed until I could raise the money.

"That perked you up. But which part-the job or Mike Newton?" Charlie was definitely on the case.

"The job opportunity part," I laughed and tried to hide myself in my hair. "Really, we need to stop talking about this already."

"It's not Edward Cullen is it?" My dad asked and his tone was much more serious than before.

"Dad," I whined to avoid his direct question.

"Alright Bells-I'll let you have this round but you still owe me an explanation on what happened yesterday." His playful detective voice was gone and it replaced itself with the slightly more authoritative 'dad' tone.

"There's nothing to talk about," I tried the evasive approach.

"You hurt your hand and you skipped the first half of your classes. I'd definitely say there is something to talk about Bells." He sipped his tea but I could feel his eyes on me, trying to read between my lines.

It was obvious the lie I had fed him on how I hurt my hand hadn't gone over too convincingly. At least he was kind enough to avoid that part.

"Listen kiddo-you're not the rebellious type and you're certainly not the spoiled, fanciful type either. This isn't like you." Charlie was right, it wasn't like me. But then again, I didn't feel much like the 'me' I had come to rely on most of my life.

"It doesn't matter what I say, it isn't going to take any of it back." I responded as calmly as I could.

"That's true but at least we can get through this a little easier if we are straight with each other. I don't want to punish you Bells-that's not how I handle things. I just want you to be open and honest with me."

How could I refuse that? Charlie was offering me the chance to spill the beans and be straight forward about it. It was just too bad that I couldn't and in truth, I didn't know if I ever would be able to.

If Edward and I really did make a go of this-how were we going to do it with every obstacle plus Charlie in our path? At some point I would have to figure out why he disliked Edward so much-and work around it. But that 'if' was still a long ways away.

So, I dug deep and pulled out a nugget of truth since he already knew I really couldn't lie worth a damn. "The move hasn't been easy for me, Dad. I get anxious sometimes and- I just needed a chance to breathe. I mean, Jessica is supposed to be my best friend but I'm at the point where I'm starting to hate her. Without her, I don't have any friends and I don't know anyone here but Jacob and he goes to the Reservation school."

"So where does Alice Cullen fit into all of this?" His tone softened. I wasn't really lying.

"She's been really nice and friendly to me- so I opened up to her a little and we both ditched to get some coffee and talk. I know that wasn't the best plan but Dad, I'm trying," I said gently.

"Bells- no one made you come here, this was your choice remember? Not that I wasn't excited to have my daughter back but if this is making you so anxious then why did you leave Phoenix?" His question hit the target, hard.

"Mom and Phil want to travel for his baseball career and I know I could have gone with them, it just didn't feel right. I missed you and this place-from what I remembered of it," I said earnestly and the only part I had left out was James.

Just thinking of him made me cringe.

"Dad-I know it was stupid and I should've come to you but there are just times when I need to deal with things myself. They won't always be the best choices in hindsight but still, I've got to go with my gut."

Charlie half smiled at that last comment. "You sound like your old man."

"Well- then I must be doing alright." I nodded and yawned. I was tired and mentally drawn and quartered. "So, are we cool, Dad?"

"Yeah Bells- we are. Go head to bed and I'll be up shortly," he said, leaning back in his chair.

I got up and stretched and turned for the stairs.

"I'm glad you did this, Kiddo. Of course, your still on restriction but maybe I'll parole you on good behavior."

"Night Dad," I said with a laugh as I trudged my way to my room, hopeful although doubtful, that I could finally get a full night of sleep.

~)(~

EPOV

Emmett and I were still outside and huddled near the car while everyone went inside. Apparently a big meeting was about to take place and Esme and Carlisle were the only ones of our family asked to attend. I heard something about a will and burial requests but everything was spoken too hushed to make sense.

Alice was heading to bed. She had been strangely quiet tonight and I wasn't sure if it was exhaustion or missing Jasper or maybe mourning for Irina that had clipped her wings.

Something inside told me it was none of those. But then again I couldn't trust my own judgments right now. I was on edge about this Jacob guy and still battling with my insane fucking cravings to be with Bella.

God damn, the need for her was eating me alive. I wanted her bathed in my scent so this Jacob guy knew exactly who _my_ Bella belonged to.

"Bro-you gonna share the conversation or keep it in your own head?" Emmett groaned, huddled into the NorthFace jacket that he normally reserved for skiing.

"Some guy named Jacob answered Bella's phone tonight," I growled, pressing my gloved hands deeper in my pockets. "I know its innocent and all but I want to know who the fuck this guy is."

"Jacob? I don't think I know anyone named Jacob," Emmett had that far away and thinking look. He looked like he was hurting himself.

"I don't know but- " I never had a chance to finish my sentence.

"Wait-there's this Jacob that goes to school on the Reservation. Big sports guy- Football, track and I think even Baseball. Ringing a bell yet?" Emmett asked, giving me that 'eureka' look.

Jacob. Sports. Reservation. Football. _Baseball_.

And there it was. I knew exactly who Emmett was talking about.

Jacob Black. Ridiculously huge guy, a Reservation All-Star with multiple sports under his belt. Why hadn't I thought of him before? And why was he hanging around my Bella?

"Edward, you alright?" Emmett asked and I realized my lip had curled up into a sneer.

"Guys don't hang out with a girl unless they want something," I growled and before Emmett could respond I saw him motion behind me.

I smelled cigarette smoke.

_Laurent._

And in an instant all of my frustration and angst manifested itself into one solitary vision of a skater-punk with a smug look on his face. I saw fucking red.

I crossed the distance between the driveway and Laurent, huddled in at the front door. My legs pumped with preternatural speed and I barely registered Emmett calling out behind me.

Laurent ditched the cigarette and backed up but it was too late. I leapt onto him, knocking him back into the snow as my thighs tightened around his sternum-my hand poised to strike him in his pale-white fucking face.

"Edward, NO!" Emmett's voice registered but my hand was already coming down.

The first punch landed and I wished I had taken off my gloves so I could feel the fucking impact of Laurent's face, packed into my fist like a slab of meat. I growled and wailed for a second punch as the victim under me struggled to move his head out of my range.

The smell of blood was in the air.

Emmett caught me, pulling me off of Laurent by my forearm, landing me on my ass on the snow. When I scrambled up to get my fucking hands on him again, my brother once more interceded.

That gave Laurent all the time he needed to jump up and wipe the blood off his face, cursing at me like I was the devil himself.

"Let me go," I growled, thrashing against the hold Emmett had on me. For all my fucking speed and agility, I couldn't break Emmett's brute, almost bear-like strength.

"Not here Bro," Emmett said in a voice of such deadly calm. I knew had the circumstances been different there would have been no reason to break this up.

"Fuck that," I growled, making one more attempt to get out of the vice-hold on me.

"Go ahead, Emmett-let him go. Let's get Tanya and the whole family out here," Laurent said with a snide fucking smile, licking at the drop of blood that ebbed down the edge of his lip from where I split it.

"What?" my brother said, pulling me back and taking away the few inches I had managed to gain at his distraction.

"You heard me, let's blow the spot up right here Emmett. Let's let Tanya know what this fuck-tard has been doing while he's been avoiding his girlfriend." Laurent half cocked a smirk, reaching into his pocket to produce a pack of cigarettes.

"Are you fucking crazy, dude? Seriously? I just pulled my brother off of you and you want to smack talk shit?" Emmett was on the defensive. He let me go and cracked his neck from side to side.

"Crazy would be breaking up with your girlfriend on a phone and then pretending to be her man while her sister is getting put into the ground," Laurent scoffed, lighting up like he didn't have a fucking care in the world.

I kept myself in place by sheer force of will, ready to pounce but knowing that by taking action and pummeling this mother fucker into the ground, all this shit might blow up and go nuclear on the two families innocently involved.

"This is none of your fucking business but since you decided to put your nose in it, it's time I broke it," I seethed, my voice low and deadly and downright fucking serious.

"Lets do this, Cullen. What's the fucking hesitation?" Laurent exhaled blue-tinged smoke, licking his lips in twisted satisfaction.

That son of a bitch was calling me out.

"Bro, he isn't worth it and we don't need the fucking drama." Emmett's arm flew out against my chest to keep me from moving forward.

"Either you tell her or I will, Cullen. Mark my fucking words, I'll fuck your world up so bad you wont be able to pursue your little slut back in Forks without the fear your parents will disown you." Laurent laughed.

I fucking lost it. Right there in the driveway the moment he referred to Bella as a slut, every ounce of restraint I had went flying out the God-damn window.

Laurent turned tail and tried to get away from me but I wasn't having that. I caught him, swinging with fast, furious precision and backing him up till he had no were to fucking escape.

My grip on reality was gone. Laurent was a target and I became the speeding bullet that ached to rip his life away from him.

I was barely aware of Emmett trying to get between us or the commotion coming out the door…or two more sets of hands dragging me off that skater-punk-fucker.

I swung wildly as we were separated and it was the hand that caught mine and the blue eyes that bore into me that brought me back to fucking reality.

Carlisle.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," He said in the strongest tone I had ever heard, his hand shaking atop my fist. "Enough."

~)(~

I sat in the study with my head hung into my hands, holding a stinging alcohol soaked cloth to my eyebrow. I said nothing as I listened to the synchronized breathing of my parents and Emmett in the room with me.

Laurent was with Eleazar, Kate and Carmen. Alice was with Tanya. The division was evident like a trinity breaking apart at the seams.

"Did you both plan this? Is that why you remained outside while we came indoors?" Carlisle asked and I looked up. His sleeves were rolled up and I knew he had been in to see Laurent who had received the worst of the fight.

"No, Dad." Emmett leaned back with one hand braced over the reclining chair he had claimed. "This wasn't premeditated."

"I find it hard to believe," Carlisle leaned his elbows on the desk before him, sternly looking his sons over with fatalistic eyes.

"How could you both do this? Have we taught you nothing?" Esme said with such disappointment. "During this emotional and trying time to disrespect our families in this way, it is just…barbaric."

"It wasn't our fault, Mom. Edward was defending someone," Emmett started but Carlisle was quick to cut him down.

"So was Laurent," our father said. "Emmett, you are excused. For now, I think it is best your mother and I speak to Edward alone."

"Alright," Emmett said, stopping to pat my shoulder as he passed me. I nodded and waited for the moment my parents would strike in a unified, singular blow.

The moment the door closed, I knew the arena match was about to begin.

"Edward, what exactly has gotten into you?" Carlisle asked with a blunt and frank tone that had me already feeling like shit under his shoe. I had heard this rigid, unyielding tone before- back when Emmett was having run-ins with the wrong crowd.

"Look, I just want to say that Emmett had nothing to do with this. He was being the voice of reason and trying to keep shit…err, things clear. This is my fault and I won't have him suffer because of it."

"The last request of a condemned man, honorable," Carlisle bridged his fingers before his face, steel blue eyes commandingly and unnervingly locked on mine. I could taste his disappointment in me, it was palpable and all fucking consuming. "This doesn't answer my question, however."

"Dad, I don't know how you want me to answer. Nothing I can say is going to make this any better," I said slowly, careful of my tone.

"You can do better than that, Edward." Carlisle said in a no-nonsense cadence.

What the hell was I supposed to say?

"Edward, please answer your father." Esme sat with her hands in her lap, the picture of poised patience. But I knew the difference in her eyes, they ebbed onto me in a shock and awe campaign of their own.

I had fucked up, big. My actions had let them down and I knew they were right to feel that way. For all I could say about my parents, the unending patience and support they showed me underwrote anything negative I could ever conjure up.

I never wanted Carlisle to look at me like the good son gone bad. Right now, caught in this fucking maelstrom of want and need and anger and jealousy, I was adrift without navigation. That didn't mean I was too happy about the stern-hand shit that was rolling downstream at me.

But I understood.

"Dad, I was going to tell you about Bella and I last night when we said we would have dinner together. That didn't happen obviously and now everything is out of control," I said as blatant and honest as I dared to be.

"I see," Carlisle said, leaning back in his borrowed chair, no longer bracing himself on the desk. "I wish you would have come to us sooner about your plans, Edward."

"We weren't really sure where this was going, Dad. And to be honest, Bella and I still aren't 100% cemented," I responded in kind, leaning back and removing the soaked cloth from my face.

"That still doesn't have any bearing on what happened tonight with Laurent," Carlisle said, exhaling sharply. He looked as anguished as he was angry, as though he too had felt the inescapable darkness that loomed over me.

"Edward, we understand your situation and should have anticipated that young love, as you had with Tanya, does not always last forever. However, you need to see all sides of this," Esme said sternly. "Though no one could have dreamed of the horrors that befell Irina and her family, the timing of all of this comes completely inopportune."

"I know," I said, scrubbing my hands against my eyes and wincing at the sting as my palm passed my wounded brow.

"None of this, however, has anything to do with what happened tonight with Laurent. You realize that having attacked him, you are making this precarious for all parties involved," My mother continued.

"And in that, we are forced now to make a desperate choice." Carlisle softened his tone but the disappointment in his words was evident. I hated how they made me feel.

"What choice is that, Dad?" I had no idea where my father was going with this. What desperate choice was he talking about?

"With your agreement, we are going to have to clear the air tonight. I am going to ask you to come clean to Tanya. I believe this damage control might be the best option available if it is your choice to no longer be with her," Carlisle said, holding his eyes on me to gauge my reaction.

"I think that might be the wisest choice, though not the one that will be easiest for our families to bear. Considering the powder-keg between yourself and Laurent, Edward-this might be the most proactive way to prevent further…issue." Esme said, resettling her hands in her laps. "It is wrong to continue to lie to Tanya, even with the death of Irina so new in our minds and hearts."

I could see the line my parents were drawing in the sand. In order to prevent Tanya from hearing about our break up through Laurent and exacerbating the situation even further, having it out in the open was the only course of action remaining.

I wanted to curse myself for everything that had happened; for hurting Bella and for doing this to Tanya at this exact moment in time with her sister newly passed on.

I also realized just what my parents were putting on the line for me. Considering the heightened senses surrounding the death of Irina and now the very public break up with Tanya, there was no way to gauge the reaction the family would have, if they knew before hand or not.

And then there was Tanya, already half crushed from the passing. I didn't know just how deep down the rabbit hole she would end up when this came to light. Either way it had to be better than hearing it from Laurent.

My eyes scanned both of my parents and I could see the dissolution and concern and disappointment etched into each fleck of their gazes. But within I also saw strength, solidarity. I saw how deeply they believed this was the best tactical move that could be made and that they were willing to suffer the consequences with me.

"Alright, I am ready whenever you are," I said with a new sense of conviction in my voice.

"The sooner the better, I believe," Carlisle said as he rose. He paced for a moment before coming to a stop in front of me.

"Alright," I responded, my eyes meeting my father's. I felt like a child before him, looking up into the vision of the man I hoped I would someday be; poised, dedicated and respected.

To my own surprise, his eyes softened. He drew himself down to my level, kneeling before me while placing one hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, I want you to know that I can understand some of what you are going through. Though it is not the exact same situation, there are similarities," Carlisle said gently, his eyes following mine as I searched within the nearly opaque blue of his gaze.

"What I am going to tell you, never leaves this room," he said and with a sudden sense of dread, all I could do was nod. My father had never said that to me before and to my knowledge, he had never said it to Alice or Emmett, either.

I gave him a concerned and confused silence and after a long pause and a glance back to my mother, he began.

"When your mother and I met, she was quite involved with a gentleman by the name of Charles Evenson. Their's was a young love that had turned sour and I just happened to meet your mother as the end was already near." Carlisle continued and I was surprised. I had never heard a word of Charles Evenson. Of all of the stories of my parents meeting, this one had never been divulged.

I was intrigued.

"As you know, your mother and I met when I was a young Emergency room intern in a small hospital in Ashland, Wisconsin. What you do not know, is that the love turned sour when Charles had grown abusive to your mother."

I looked to Esme, the demure picture of motherly-perfection. She still sat with her hands in her lap, poised. However, her eyes had changed from fiery to something I had never quite seen before as she studied my father.

She looked to my father as though the word _love_ had been crafted in his name, alone.

"Yes, Edward. It is a seldom discussed truth, something we didn't believe our children ever needed to hear. I trust you will keep this in confidence. Please," Esme said with a gentle pleading.

I would take it to my grave, even as I was filled with a desire to find this Charles Evenson and pay him my own form of abusive justice for having ever….ever done a harm to my mother.

My fist clenched in my lap and I had no words to say. So, I nodded and returned my eyes to my father but I knew…that he knew…the change in my gaze.

"I will not go into details, Edward. Let it be said that it was a short time before I put in for a position in Chicago and took your mother away with me," Carlisle said with a calm that could only come from decades of having lived with the agony of knowing someone had lain a hand upon the woman he loved.

"I married your mother the moment she was ready to grant me the honor. I tell you this story so that you understand how well I know what it means to be a part of a situation of this caliber. I was not always a husband and father, I was once just a man in love. Having you and Alice and Emmett is the crowning glory of that love." Carlisle rose up and this time I stood with him.

"Dad," I said, not waiting another moment to wrap my arms around my father. I hugged him to me like a child in the midst of a nightmare, thankful that he returned the embrace.

"Are you ready, Edward?" Carlisle said as he patted my back reassuringly, breaking the impromptu display of affection.

"Yes," I said with assuredness.

That was all my father needed. He turned and gazed for a moment at my mother before leaving the room entirely.

I took the opportunity to move to her side, kneeling before her and bracing my forehead against her own. "I love you, Mom."

"As I love you, Edward. We trust you and although this does not come at the opportune time, an end must happen tonight if you are to move on to be with Bella. Promise me you will bring her over, I would love to meet the girl who has infused my son with such life," she said gently, brushing a copper lock of my hair behind my ear.

"I will, and I'm sorry for this. All of it." I said while closing my eyes.

"Apologies are not needed, Edward. We are with you, difficult as this may be." My mother sighed softly, even as I was haunted with a need for revenge on Charles Evenson and the weight of my own situation with Tanya still ripping like fire through my veins.

I never expected to feel this empowered or supported. It was safe to say, my parents were two of the most amazing people on the planet.

~)(~

"I still don't understand why I am being herded in here like cattle," Tanya protested as she crossed the threshold of the study.

"I am sure Carlisle would not request a family meeting at this late hour without provocation," Kate said as she shuffled in behind Tanya, still dressed as she had been through the night and looking older and more exhausted than I had ever seen her.

Carmen and Eleazar said nothing as they came in behind Kate, I couldn't read their eyes but they moved like stone, sure and reserved. I was positive they all must have known. Laurent didn't seem the type to keep this kind of personal vendetta against me quiet if he had gone to my own parents.

I sat and waited to receive everyone but was surprised with the entourage adjourned to an ante-chamber connecting to the study. I was relieved that this situation wouldn't have an audience but the proximity still bothered me.

The walls couldn't be thick enough to guise this conversation if I knew anything about Tanya and her over-reactions. Of course, with tensions and emotions running high surrounding the death of her sister, I had no idea what Tanya would be capable of upon finally hearing the news of our break up.

I took up residence in the arm chair I had been sitting in before, anxiety and concern ebbing through me. I put my game face on…and thought of Bella.

I could almost see her in her bedroom, enshrouded by her purple comforter giving me those come hither eyes. I had a world waiting for me when I came back home to Forks. This was the final step I needed to take to make my way to her.

"Oh my God, Edward, what happened to your face?" Tanya said, rushing over to me, tracing my face with her fingertips without ever touching my skin. "Baby, what's going on?"

Had she really not heard the scuffle? Did she actually not see Laurent, who was on the shallow end of a thorough ass-beating?

"Tanya, don't," I turned my face away and looked over to the chair next to me, vacant before the desk Carlisle had sat at earlier. "Come and sit down, please."

She looked confused as she rose, brushing her honey hair back behind her dainty ears. "Edward, what's wrong?"

The innocence in her voice was almost shocking to me. Knowing Tanya as long as I had, I knew she was anything but. The intimate knowledge only we shared made it difficult to imagine how the hell I was supposed to start this.

"Please, sit down. I need to talk to you," I said in a brusque tone I hadn't anticipated.

I heard the door close behind me and the presence of my father filled the room. He too followed into the ante-chamber. I could hear him whisper something about using this room as an "in case of emergency" as he passed.

That was reassuring.

Alice and Emmett hadn't come in with the others and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Not that I wouldn't recall it all and relay it to my siblings.

Eidetic fucking memory, remember?

Where Laurent was, I couldn't give a shit. The further away he stayed from me right now the better…for all parties concerned.

"Are you going to tell me what happened to your face? Where's Laurent?" Tanya went from a shocked tone to an accusing one, leaning toward me as she sat down. "What the fuck did you do, Edward?"

"That seems to be the leading question of the night," I maintained in a deadly serious calm, adjusting my position so I could see Tanya more fully and not the multiple sets of eyes silently judging me.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Tanya was becoming increasingly irritated.

"There's no easy way to say this Tanya and this certainly isn't the best time," I said confidently. "I am breaking up with you. It's over and there is someone else."

I watched my words register but her response was completely fucking wrong. "Alright, now I know your screwing with me. Where is Laurent and what's really going on?"

I watched Tanya scan the room before turning back to me in disbelief.

"Laurent is nursing a beat-down, Tanya. He heard the voicemail l left you last night before all of this happened with Irina," I said more forcefully, waiting for her to catch on. "He went to my parents. We got into a scuffle. And it's time to clear the air so we have no more situations like this for the rest of the time I'm here in Alaska."

"You can't be serious," Her determination wavered as she stared me right in the eyes. "Someone else? There cant be someone else? No, Edward. All of this is a load of bullshit. Why would you say this to me?"

I leaned forward now, giving her heavy eye-to-eye contact. "I'm sorry Tanya. It's over."

Tanya moved with lightning speed, up on her feet and in front of me before I had time to register it all. "You worthless piece of shit! How fucking dare you do this to me-you're a fucking monster, Edward! A fucking Monster!"

I stood up as she screamed just in time to avoid a wild flying backhand she meant to connect to my face. "You bastard-you do this to me at the lowest fucking point in my life? Here? Now? With my sister not even in the ground?"

Tanya wailed like a banshee and grabbed whatever was on the desk before us, smashing various items to the floor, toward the wall and almost breaking the curtained window behind us.

"I'll kill you, I want you dead!" she roared and I heard the door to the ante-chamber open.

Eleazar intervened, wrapping her up in his arms from behind. Whatever he said to her, I couldn't hear. I was standing as still as possible when Tanya spit at me in anger.

That's right, fucking spit at me.

Tanya's legs flailed as Eleazar pulled her back, her voice a continuous screaming profanity with a few "How could you do this to me" broken sentences thrown in. I'm not going to lie, I felt like shit for it to come down like this but I was relieved at the same time.

I heard Kate and Carmen rush into the room followed last by Carlisle and Esme.

"You wretched bastard!" Carmen cried out at me, rushing to her sister's side as Eleazar brought Tanya down to the ground, where she could be more easily controlled.

"We admit the timing is inappropriate but considering the situation with Laurent, it had to be brought to the forefront now," Esme said in a strong tone. "Our families have overcome worse than this together, everyone needs to realize there was always a chance of this happening."

"Now? At such a moment? Esme, you know Tanya is already fragile," Kate said with a stern and hateful voice.

"I'll take a hundred pills and kill myself! Would that make you happy Edward? Then you could run back to that slut you think can replace me! I swear, I'll do it!" Tanya screamed from her position on the floor. I could see Carmen on the ground with her, desperately trying to hold her sister to her own body, protectively.

"That is certainly not what Edward wants," Carlisle jumped in. "Not all relationships are meant to be. We support Edward's decision and we will be here to help Tanya handle this."

I watched the circus that exploded all around me. Carmen and Kate defended Tanya while defaming me; my mother and father remained calm while trying to defend me and still assert their support of the family; Eleazar tried to keep Tanya safe while looking up at me with understanding eyes.

I swear to fuck, I was having an out of body experience. I hated seeing Tanya like this and the fighting that I caused the night before Irina's closed casket viewing.

I stood stone still and listened to every obscene and horrible thing Tanya's family called me. I took it like a man but I was getting angrier by the moment.

And then I heard one statement sing out above the cacophony of screaming mayhem this study had become.

"I am sorry Carlisle but Edward can not stay here. It is already late but he must leave first thing tomorrow, arrange it," Kate said in a deadly-cold tone.

"I understand," Carlisle responded calmly but I could see the anger and indignation flash in his eyes. "We will all be going with him."

My eyes went wide the moment my father's words registered.

Carlisle and Esme were willing to leave, here and now and in the midst of this terrible unforeseen passing of a beloved family friend.

And there it was, for all the disappointment I could feel from my father and mother on this situation, they stood beside me. Unabashedly my parents came to my defense, choosing to forsake the family that had been like their own-to protect me.

"As you wish Carlisle," Carmen said and I could almost taste the venom in her words. Her dark eyes fell on me and I stood my ground.

I felt shitty for doing this now,but I knew this was going to be the only chance I would get before Laurent kicked it up a notch and went to Tanya himself. Every shriek that rose out of her mouth as Eleazar held her on the floor tore through me and reminded me this would be the most selfish thing I had and would ever do.

The way for Bella and I had been cleared at a fucking intense price.

Fate really was a bitch.

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A/N:

A very special thank you to Brits_23, author extrodinaire and Beta-Goddess of my universe. If you havent visited her stories please...treat yourself to everything she has written at:

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1849726/

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**An Important Note on your Concerns from VvDeadRosesvV...**

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So, I wanted to take a moment to respond to a few reviews I recieved for the last two chapters. There was a concern that this tale had slowed down and that Snarlward had become a little less...Snarly and sure of himself.

I wanted to say that I try desperately to write in a realistic fashion. Considering the situation and angst surrounding Edward, I felt the need to go into a little more depth, as it defines the future for E x B.

I also understand that since I had taken a nearly full-year-hiatus, that things are obviously seeming to progress a bit slower. That really isnt the case if you read it again from start to finish. However, those concerns are about to change, now that we have everything flushed out to a place it needs to be.

I understand it is hard to be a reader, frustrated and concerned about where the story is going and how long it's going to take to get there. I have twists and turns all along the way and more yet to come (some are good, mind you). All I can ask of you, is to be patient with me...to see the greater vision of the ficcie and know that I havent lost touch with your Snarlward.

I understand everyone wants to see E x B in a place of calm, lemony-smut-heaven. Believe me, I want the same. By the drop off of reviews I recieve, I am thinking people are frustrated and moving on.

I respect that.

But, if you stick it out and show me the love...if you believe the way I believe, Breaking Trinity will show you the depths of depravity that rival the angst.

If your still here, thank you. If you have moved on, Snarlie and I miss you.

Breaking Trinity is a journey that I hope you are all still willing to take with me. I would be really disappointed if you didn't.

Remember, Reviews aren't just a place to say "Yay". They are a direct link to me and to Snarlward...to tell me your thoughts and your feelings, to share with me the joy and sorrow and fear you have had along the way. That little button at the bottom is a way for you to hypothetical...to let me know where you think BT is going...and how much it has meant to you along the way.

I take every word personally. Some authors might wave it off, but I take every comment as a source of your hopes and frustrations.

It is a difficult and human thing to share your creativity with people, especially in an Anon enviornment. When I sit down to write BT, I have you all in mind as well as the love I have for the characters I have crafted in the quasi image that Stephanie Meyers have outlined for us.

If you are still out there, I need to know...how this is all going.

Snarlward: Are we starting this shit again? *rolls his eyes*

Me: I dont see what you mean?

Snarlward: Dont _see_ what I mean? Arent you reading this as well. Jesus-H-Christ, woman.

Me: Alright. Gotcha. I wasnt really being literal.

Snarlward: Trust me, your literal enough for the rest of us. Anway, you gonna offer some kind of positive-vibe-leave-me-a-review-team-rally or something?

Me: Well, Snarly-we have a host of people that are really involved in this re-telling of your adventures. They let me know how things are going.

Snarlward: Well, Little MIss-you must be shit wrong to have 25k hits but only 300 reviews in two chapters right?

Me: Wondering if anyone out there even gives a shit anymore, other than the two dozen that I rely on for every theory and kind word and criticism. They know who they are.

Snarlward: Wait for that and you might as well wait for Santa Clause. *stares at the author while she sets out a fresh plate on a holiday style table* Wait, are you really putting out Cookies for the Morbidly Obese, Fashion-backward old man? Seriously, red velvet tracksuits are so damn 1970's. And that red nose, total ski-sloping-cocaine-addiction.

Me: Dont make me dunk your head in milk, Pal.

Snarlward: I prefer Bella covered in white but hey, I'm a kinky Prick.

Me: *rolls eyes* We havent gotten to that yet.

Snarlward: Well, type faster.

Me: Go away.

Snarlward: *sighs* Im not being very sensitive am I? Look, your telling a story that some people are just..frustrated with. Life isnt about instant gratification, they'll get over it or they wont.

Me: I am just feeling a little...underwhelmed, I guess. I hope everyone is with us, Snarly.

Snarlward: Tis the fucking season, Right? *looks from side to side* Hey, am I getting what I want for Xmas?

Me: Please, dont go there...

Snarlward: My panty Collection is getting a little skimpy and not in a good way...

Me: Well, lets see if you can be a good boy for about 4 minutes out of the year.

Snarlward: If thats a bet, your on.

A/N 2:

Seasons Greetings and please enjoy the selections I have prepared for you. Since my next update wont be until after the Holiday Celebrations, I impart you with this:

http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=3RbMaJho_YA&feature=related

http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A

Next Update: Approximately 12/29/10- 1/05/11


	27. Faith and the Full Circle

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 25: Faith and the Full-Circle

~)(~

EPOV

"_I understand," Carlisle responded calmly but I could see the anger and indignation flash in his eyes. "We will all be going with him."_

_"As you wish Carlisle," Carmen said and I could almost taste the venom in her words. Her dark eyes fell on me and I stood my ground._

Tanya was still shrieking and kicking as Eleazar lifted her from the ground. Her arms flailed wildly and she tried to reach me across the room. Even in the midst of everything my heart sank.

I never wanted to break her. I only wanted to be free.

Kate spoke calmly as she held the door to the study open, encouraging Tanya with a sisterly tone as Eleazar prepared to move her.

"I can give her something to calm down. My black bag is in my bedroom," Carlisle offered even as Carmen glared at him.

"There is no need, she is strong. Nothing will break her," Carmen nearly growled in a tone that was both faithful and delusional. Couldn't they see, Tanya needed help?

"I understand," Carlisle replied, remaining steadfast and stone still. As Tanya was brought from the scene like a child on a dangerous tantrum, he turned to me. "Tell Alice and Emmett to pack. We will be leaving as early as possible once we have stopped off at the funeral home to pay our respects."

"Alright, Dad," I said contemplatively. My parents had sacrificed everything in this situation for me and the meaning was far from lost. Irina, much like Tanya and Carmen, were like daughters to Carlisle and Esme.

I knew leaving was not as easy of a decision as he made it sound. Even in mourning, they both stood their ground beside me. It had to be rending my parents in half to watch Tanya in the throes of complete breakdown.

Somber as the situation was, I couldn't help but be relieved at the prospect of being reunited with Bella a day sooner than I had quoted her. I wanted to be with her now and every moment was a fucking eternity.

I waited in respectful silence as Eleazar helped Tanya from the room. Her sisters left behind her but not before casting me the most evil of glances.

Esme laid her hand on me softly as I started from the room and when I met her eyes, so like my own, I saw the anguish and strength there. Both she and Carlisle were making sacrifices for me that I had never known I would need until now.

"It will be alright, Edward," Esme said reassuringly. "Time heals all wounds, even if it doesn't look like it now."

Somehow, I felt like I still hadn't received my proper and deserved retribution.

I left the study area amidst glances and hushed tones that told me I was the pariah that had outcast both myself and my family. The wails of Tanya's lament echoed through the sterile halls and I tucked my hands in my pockets as I moved to my borrowed room with Emmett.

Alice was sitting on the bed, wiping tears from her eyes. Emmett was pacing with his hands forced into the pockets of his dress slacks. I knew they could hear Tanya's screams down the hallway, though they were softening by the moment.

"Bro, how ya holding up?" Emmett turned to me with concerned eyes.

"Dad wants us to pack." It was all I could say as I loosened the first few buttons on my dress shirt.

"So we figured. Alice and I could hear pretty much everything," Emmett nodded and walked over to me, drawing one massive hand out of his pants pocket to place on my shoulder. "Irina would have understood. She always was the more _non-grudgmental_ of the sisters."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. That was really the first time hearing Irina's name in past-tense really seemed to stick with me. Memories threatened at the push of my mind but I had to keep them at bay. For now.

_Hold it together, Cullen._

My twin sister looked up at me and I could see the desolation in her gaze. "Edward, I am so sorry. I should have seen this was coming- I should have been able to warn you."

Alice couldn't be serious? Her precognitive dream-visions were random at best and she certainly had no control over them or what came through. Yet, here she was trying to shoulder the blame for something so completely unexpected.

And so totally my fault.

I broke from Emmett's grasp and sat down on the bed next to my sister. Her eyes were red rimmed and her make-up gone. I could still see the faint traces of where her tears had run a river down her cheeks, parting her foundation at either side.

"Alice you cant even begin to blame yourself for any of this," I soothed, bracing my hand atop her smaller one. "I did this. All of it- I should have broken it off with Tanya long ago. I shouldn't have relied on a fucking phone to do it when I finally had the balls. And I never should have come here pretending to be something that I wasn't. It was a matter of time before everything was going to go to shit."

"Look man, you tried to do the best you could for all parties concerned. If Tanya's family wants to hold it against you, I say fuck 'em." Emmett grumbled, protectively.

"Mom and Dad really stood by you, Edward," Alice finally said, wiping under her eyes with a dainty fingertip. "Emm and I are right here, too."

"I feel like I'm robbing everyone from paying respects to Irina. I feel like a total shit-heel right now for what Tanya is going through," I sighed heavily, raking my hands through my already wild hair.

"And even having all said that, I am counting the fucking hours to get home. I need Bella." The depth of desire and want echoing in my own voice surprised me.

"And she needs you too, " Alice finally smiled. "At least that much I can tell you I've seen."

"Well good. We're all back to square fucking one," I shook my head and snickered self-deprecatingly. "Now here's hoping I don't do anything to fuck that up, too."

"Bro, I'm pretty sure fuck-up is your middle name." Emmett chortled.

"And all this time I thought it was Anthony. Who knew?" I shook my head and flopped back on the bed, covering my eyes with my hands and internally counting the hours and minutes until I could be home.

Till I could be reunited with Bella again.

~)(~

The first of our two flights to get home to Washington state was departing Denali to Anchorage at 9:30am, Alaskan time. It would be an approximate half hour commuter departure, giving us less than fifteen minutes to catch our main flight out to Sea-Tac.

Carlisle hired a car service to get us everywhere we needed to be. I couldn't imagine the exorbitant price it was costing him but then again, I don't really think it mattered. It wasn't like we were welcome to continue to stay in Denali, Alaska.

I calculated when I would be back in Forks. Over 4 hours in total flying time just to reach Sea-Tac and an additional 132 driving miles from arrival to door. Even factoring in the time difference of -1hr, I still wasn't going to get home until almost 3pm, PST.

I was already chomping at the bit when the decked-out S.U.V Carlisle had hired pulled up to the funeral home in the town proper. The viewing wasn't for another 45 minutes and no one was here yet but the florist vehicles that were unloading a cavalcade of arrangements.

The driver had been instructed to wait for us as the entire family slid out of the S.U.V and into the cold Alaskan morning. The sun was bright and it reflected off of the early spring snow, now littered with the remnants of glitter from bouquets that had gone into the Funeral Home before we had.

Radiant specks of gold sparkled like diamonds on crystalline white, giving an odd and almost otherworldly sheen to this place of sadness. I had to admit, I was caught by it all, unable to move and not ready to face what I was ultimately avoiding.

I didn't say _goodbye_ very well. I hadn't ever dealt with the passing of a life. Not to mention the idea that Irina was less than a decade older than myself. To have her light snuffed out so soon- it was sobering.

The very idea of a maniacally short time-line to live and love and experience the joys and sadness of the world had me pulling at my hair in anguish. How could this be our fates? To scurry around like rodents securing the future that everyday– in every way– led to the grave?

I felt like an existentialist Nihilist, locked in the notion that existence itself– all action, suffering, and feeling– was ultimately senseless and empty. I recalled in an instant, the words of _Macbeth_ in Scene 5, Act 5 and cursed my eidetic fucking memory.

"_To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,  
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,  
To the last syllable of recorded time;  
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools  
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!  
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,  
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,  
And then is heard no more. It is a tale  
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,  
Signifying nothing."_

Fuck me.

"Edward, are you alright?" Carlisle asked gently. He must have been watching me stopped and still with my eyes all over the sparkle of radiant rainbow glitter flecks against stark white.

"Debating the merit of life and the weight of death. Just the usual stroll through teenaged angst," I replied in an almost lifeless tone.

"Everyone handles death in their own way, Son. I know this can't be easy for you…or any of us, for that matter," Carlisle said with a calm and compassionate tone. "I've grappled for many years with death, it comes too often in my profession."

I turned to look at my father then and I could see the sadness in his weighted eyes. "How do you handle it?"

Maybe I never equated the title of Doctor to the inevitability of death. My father had always been so amazing at what he had chosen for his career path that in my naiveté- I never imagined what he must have went through on the subject of death.

"Life is a valuable gift, Edward. More importantly than focusing on the end of the race is to see the joy of the journey on the way. I know Irina lived a good life in the time she was here, I know that she regretted nothing, as short as her time was." Carlisle rested his hand on my shoulder.

I could fucking bathe in that level of compassion. I'd be God-damned if I didn't want to believe the same way he did about the subject. I just didn't know if I ever could.

"So you're telling me to make every moment count?" I asked, trying not to let that sound as trite as it felt on the way out.

"No, Edward. What I am telling you is a very simple thing. Take what you can from life and give with equal force. Live like there is no tomorrow and never lose that passion," he said reassuringly, mustering a small and gentle smile.

"_So_, make every moment count?" I said again as I watched Alice and Esme walk into the funeral home, hand in hand. Emmett was behind them, his eyes on his shoes and obviously lost in his own inner monologue.

"That's a meager summation," Carlisle sighed softly, squeezing his fingers reassuringly on my shoulder. "We can debate philosophy when we are both in a better state of mind."

I nodded in acceptance. All I was really doing was prolonging the inevitable, not in the Nihilistic sense, more in the lack of desire to face reality sense.

Carlisle led me into the funeral home. My sourly depressive mood wasn't really about the meaninglessness of life, it was more of a fear…a very base and bizarre one at that.

The way I felt for Bella, for as powerful and strong and primal as it was- simply _had to last forever_. I couldn't be something so contrite that the moment we died it would no longer _exist_.

There was no way to wrap my head around the fact that whatever it was Bella and I had- however it was that _we_ felt- was nothing more than a fleeting thing, ended with _us, _with our lives.

I would reckon with that later on. My father had offered to discuss philosophy and I would take him up on it as soon as my head was clear. As soon as I was with my Bella.

By the time I came back to reality, I could see attendants arranging flowers around a cherry-wood coffin. Of course it was closed and the overhead lights shone like stars, reflecting back at me from the high-polished lacquered and grain surface.

Irina was inside. But she wasn't _here_ anymore.

I watched Alice and my mother kneel on the small, neutral velvet pew before the coffin. The attendants arranging the flowers before our arrival gently backed away to give us some space. I wondered how long it would be before the funeral director came over to usher us away. The viewing was not scheduled until 9am.

The soft sound of sobs and the rustling of tissues brought me out of my reverie. My mother and sister were both crying, dabbing at eyes and cheeks while they held hands for dear-life.

To respect both grief and space, I glanced over to the figure of Emmett in front of me. His fingers were braced against the bridge of his nose and his shoulders were heaving slightly as he waited his turn.

Emmett was crying.

I think I could only recall about three times in my life that Emm had ever broken down into tears. One was when he was six years old and had broken his ankle when he fell off his bike trying to do a wheelie, another because of Rosalie and now, this.

Carlisle crossed the distance between us and Emmett and instantly, my brother wiped his face clean. He wasn't the type to admit tears and I could understand that. Boys don't cry, or some bullshit like that.

Not that Carlisle or Esme every pushed that type of overtly macho shit on us. But still, it was an understood thing leaned from either male genetics or Hollywood. Who the hell keeps track?

Alice and Esme embraced as they rose, crying on each others' shoulders. Everything felt so real that it flashed before me with camera-like quality. I was detached and yet surrounded; numb and yet alive with an onslaught of feeling.

Carlisle knelt down next and Emmett stayed behind. I could see my father bow his head and cross himself religiously as he prayed silently to himself. It reminded me of when I was young and my parents had brought us to various types of churches, giving us a plethora of knowledge about faith without pushing us to make a decision about it.

I knew Carlisle had '_faith.' _I can't say as I understood that intangible, incongruent and omniscient power.

I watched Emmett replace my father when he rose, standing to the side and embracing my mother around her narrow waist. After a long moment of hesitation, my brother knelt down upon one knee and bowed his head before the casket. I could only imagine what went through his mind.

Or what would go through my own.

I averted my eyes to the carpeted floor as Emmett took his moment of solitude. Memories of Irina gripped me. I could see her laughing and shaking a finger at us, indulging as he cornered her into various games with us….in what felt like an eternity ago.

I hadn't noticed Emmett had moved away. That left me, standing in the middle of the room watching the coffin as though it might begin to shake from side to side and startle me out of my skull.

Seeing the exchanging looks of my family, I took my place before coffin. Inside of my mind I held all of the thoughts that came to me before this very moment. With a great sense of consternation I knelt…and bowed my head.

What do you say…what do you wish to someone who is gone? I knew Irina had had a good and short life. I knew she loved each moment and wanted still for a husband and family and things intangible to me at this relatively tender age.

Irina had none of those desires she kept, assuming she would grow old…assuming she would have time. But the hourglass had run down and the sand bound within was no more.

I closed my eyes and let the weight of it all, drown me.

No tears came.

The pressure inside of my mind remained and I still had nothing to give. What the hell was wrong with me? Even Emmett had broken down and grieved. Here I was, watching the polished brass below my eyes, overtaken by the sparkle and sheen that I knew would soon be buried in the earth.

I felt like a monster for not _feeling_ at all.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

~)(~

BPOV

I spent the day avoiding everyone. It was Friday and the buzzing of plans for the weekend were all around me. Jessica was pretty much giving me the cold shoulder but at lunch I heard her going on and on about some big season opener for baseball tomorrow night. Apparently the Forks High Spartans were playing the La Push Warriors.

Suddenly I remembered Jacob saying something to me about that being on Saturday. That also reminded me about the bonfire tonight at the reservation. Why the hell didn't Jake remind me of that last night?

Might have had something to do with the drama and the fever and the totality of a night of rollercoaster bullshit.

That reminded me, I had to call Jake.

"So Bella, what are you doing this weekend?" Angela asked me as I was mid chew on a celery stick.

I covered my mouth politely. "I have to go to a bonfire at the reservation tonight, Charlie already committed me."

"Getting mighty chummy with the natives, eh Bella?" Jess said with a roll of her eyes. Yeah, she was definitely hating on me.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, swallowing down hard.

"Your friends with one of the natives aren't you? I mean, its nice and all to spend time with your friends or what-not." She dismissed me with her words.

"Yeah, Jacob," I said with a wince at her icy tone. But I knew she meant something more, something pertaining to her and I and not Jake at all.

"Are you cheering for the other team at the baseball game then?" Mike said but I could hear an undercurrent of ulterior motive. Did he equate Jake and I together as a couple?

I coughed to clear the air but also because I had celery veins lodged in my throat.

"I'm not cheering for any team. I don't think I'm going since Charlie still has me grounded." I had underestimated one of two things. The first, was the anguish I had seen in Mike's eyes and that meant he apparently liked me more than I thought he did. Secondly, the rivalry at competitive sports must have been a bigger thing than I realized. Not that I really cared and by that I mean I wasn't much into the whole school spirit and blah-blah-blah.

"Whatever," I heard Jessica comment as I leaned into my knapsack to withdraw my ancient cell phone. She continued, "I wonder if Edward is going to be back in time to play."

Now, that had my attention. I already knew he wasn't going to be but hearing his name had me at full attention. So, I took a bite of my apple, eying my cell phone down like I didn't have any knowledge of what she spoke about.

"Yeah where the hell are those freaky Cullens? Not that I miss them or anything," Mike shrugged.

"Alright Mikey, you can come out of the closet now," Eric Yorkie said with a half smirk plastered all over his mouth.

"Fuck you, man." Mike grumbled, tossing something I couldn't see at Eric.

"I already told you, I'm straight. Isn't that right Angela?" Eric said with a waggling brow. I tried to keep my eyes down.

"Eric!" I heard Angela protest.

"Well Edward is with his girlfriend in Alaska. Her sister died. How sweet is that- to pick up and have your whole family go because they wanted to support you," Jessica said, smiling to herself.

"How do you know that?" Mike asked, looking Jess over.

"My cousin Laurent is Edwards'- girlfriends'- best friend, remember?" She said as though anyone had the audacity to forget she was linked into the Cullens through Edward's girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend, I reminded myself.

"I heard he is being so sweet and considerate even if Laurent hates him," Jessica said dreamily, obviously imaging herself entwined the Edward.

"Well, isn't that fucking special?" Mike grumbled.

I felt instantly uncomfortable at the idea that Edward was being so kind. I couldn't blame him really, I knew his family was tied to Tanya's but I still felt a twinge of jealousy and guilt. Just how kind was he being?

"I- uh- have to make a call," I grumbled and rose from the table, carrying my brown bag with me to take to the garbage, my other hand on my cell phone. I wanted to check on Charlie, who had stubbornly insisted on going to work this morning. I also wanted to try and reach Jake. I had no idea if he had gone to school today since he was feverish last night.

"Is Bella alright?" I heard Angela ask as I walked away.

"Who knows, she probably wants Edward too. What girl in their right mind wouldn't?" Jess replied and if anything else was said, I was already out of ear-shot.

I didn't want to hear anything else, honestly. It was hard enough trying to trust Edward after hearing how sweet and nice he was being to his ex-girlfriend. Would he want to get back with her? Was it really over or would he change his mind?

I zipped my jacket closed and walked out of the atrium to the front doors. I dialed Charlie as I walked, waiting forever for him to pick up his cell phone.

"Hey Bells," he said, sounding like shit. "Everything alright?"

"Just checking on you, Dad. How're you feeling?" I leaned in, shuffling off the cold. It had warmed up over the last two days being spring and all but this was still way out of my comfort zone. I was used to warm, sunny Phoenix where anything below 65 degrees had me running for a jacket.

"I've felt better but I took what was left of your soup with me for lunch," he said and I could hear the radio of his squad car behind his words.

"Are we still going to the bonfire tonight?" I reminded, hoping he was going to pull us out of it, last minute.

"Yeah, I should be home around six-or-seven. I've got some catching up to do from yesterday. I think Billy said it started around eight." Charlie must have leaned in because the next thing I heard was a _'Roger-ten-four'._

"Alright Dad, I'm gonna give Jake a call and check on him too. Did you want me to make dinner before we go?" I asked, leaning my face down to avoid the wind.

"Yeah, sure Bells. If you don't mind. It'll save time instead of stopping at the diner tonight." He paused to sneeze and blow his nose. "Love you, Kiddo."

"Love you too Dad," I said and closed the call.

Jessica's words were still lingering in my mind. I tried to shake them off as I dialed Jake but I couldn't. Just how kind was Edward being with Tanya?

"Hello," I could feel the solar flares hit me the moment Jake picked up the line.

"Hey you," I replied, chewing my lip and still a little embarrassed from my actions last night. "How're you feeling?"

"Still got a little fever but I'm drinking some tea my Dad brewed for me. Better than pharmaceuticals," he replied and I could hear he was chewing. "You and Charlie still coming tonight?"

"I almost completely forgot, thanks for reminding me last night," I grumbled, trying to hide my increasingly foul mood.

"I do what I can to make your life interesting," Jacob stopped to swallow whatever he had in his mouth. "Everything alright?"

"It's complicated but yeah, everything is cool." I forced myself to feign a smile and hope it came through on the other line. "Hey are you at school?"

"Yeah. We have the same lunch period, isn't that cute," Jake laughed and I could hear someone next to him ask to say hello. Then another voice joined in the chorus.

'_Is that your girlfriend eh? Lets hear if she's really as hot as you make her sound!'_

'_Don't be so stingy Jake- does she have any sisters?' _

"What is going on over there?" I laughed.

I could hear Jake fighting off whoever was near to him, he coughed lightly and the phone muffled against his chin or cheek for a long second.

"Its just Quil and Embry- don't pay these goof-balls any mind," Jake grumbled. He must have gotten up because the background voices and sounds were fading in the distance. "So what's complicated? Is this a Cullen thing again?"

"I don't even want to go into it," I grumbled.

"Tonight at the bonfire then, alright?" Jake asked, taking a deep and concerned breath.

"Alright," I said leaning against the wall, as far away from the biting wind as I could get. "I'm going back inside now, too cold for me."

"I'm running about one-oh-seven over here right now," Jacob said, radiating me with more solar flares.

"If that were the case you'd be dead," I said dryly. "The human body shuts down after like one-oh-five or something. We had a test on it in Health class."

"Don't worry about me Pale-face, I promise I'm not dead." Jake exhaled a short cough and held the phone away from his mouth.

"Alright well fell better and drink that tea. I'll see you tonight," I said, shaking my head softly and desperately trying to avoid a laugh. He was ridiculous, really.

"Can't wait," Jake replied.

I hung up and leaned back against the wall. I scrolled through my phone just to torture myself and look at my most recent contacts. I had added Edward to speed dial after my insane ramblings to Jacob last night and I could see the my phone had logged the final time I had spoken to him yesterday.

I was starting to feel seriously irritated and anxious and out of control. Jessica's words about Edward being so kind and so sweet- and whatever other adjectives I was about to start inventing to fill in the gaps- with Tanya- had me on a full boil before I even realized it.

The idea of calling Edward snuck into my head. It was already 12:49pm and my lunch break was soon to be over. I wasn't sure what time the viewing was today for Irina but I decided to follow through and dialed him anyway.

The phone didn't get passed the first ring before going straight to voicemail. Maybe he was still at the viewing or maybe Edward was with Tanya- being comforting and sweet and wonderful.

I didn't leave a message. Instead, I closed my phone and walked back inside to the warmth I was sorely lacking. I had biology with Mr. Banner next and then gym and study hall.

There was no way I was sticking around for the last hour. So as became custom, I knew I was going to sign myself out early and head home to start making dinner for Charlie and I.

It had to be better than sitting around and stewing about what Edward was doing right now or who he was with. I wished I could be more patient and more trusting of what was going on in Alaska but I had about reached the end of my rope.

Against my better judgment and sanity I just kept pleading to myself, silently.

_Please don't let him be another James._

~)(~

I signed myself out of Study Hall at 3pm. And I was more than happy to leave this school behind for the weekend.

Gym had been the usual fantastic failure but I didn't care. I kept away from Jess- who still gave me the evil eye. Mike seemed to stay away and in truth, I was grateful for that.

With floor hockey replacing badminton in class, I generally kept to myself. Mike and Jess still ended up on my team but I occupied the furthest corner I could and with a lucky streak, no one bothered passing the puck in my direction.

The hum of my truck motor kept me on track as I pushed the pedal to fifty-five. For this old Chevy that was the speed-cap, yet I was content to drive and think and just let the miles pass me by.

I hadn't heard from Edward today and I both understood and simultaneously grew anxious and irritated that he hadn't called. I realized the situation he was in with the wake probably scheduled twice in a day and all the aftermath of the first gathering weighing heavy on the minds of his family.

But still…..

As I traveled the speed limit a car pulled up behind me flashing high beams at a frantic pace. All I could see was a light color, maybe grayish silver or white and after a few seconds I waved my hand along the driver side, indicating to pass me. I glanced at the watch I kept in the dashboard cup holder, it was only about quarter after three and the traffic was light.

This wasn't actually a passing zone, so what the hell? Who could be in such a rush at this hour?

Then I bit the edge of my lip.

Was something hanging off my truck? Was the light colored car warning me that a tire was low?

The horn blared and when I tried to look behind me I was met with continually flickering headlights, obscuring my vision. I swear to God, if I kept watching the strobe effect playing out behind me I was seriously in-danger of a massive migraine.

Or a seizure. Not that I had any history of anything like that.

I narrowed my eyes as the blinding halogen beams in my rear view mirror continued for another quarter mile. I was concerned and hesitant to pull over on one-oh-one. Alone.

What choice did I have? What if something was seriously wrong with my truck? A blow out at fifty-five could be nasty….and I started to envision a sudden explosion from out of a Die Hard movie.

I turned on my hazard lights- allowing myself to gently veer off the road and pass the white line separator. Taking a deep breath I drew out of the truck, keeping my door open and the key in the ignition just in case the driver of this car was a creep.

Growing up a Police Chief's daughter had some advantages. Emergency preparedness was one of the few perks.

My eyes scanned the area around my truck, checking as fast as possible while avoiding the car that had pulled up behind me. Luckily, I didn't see anything broken or flat or leaking from my truck. Definitely no smoke. There was no apparent malfunction and when I looked up….

That was when I saw him.

Edward.

The cool wind carried the scent of sun, sand and leathery musk.

No, it couldn't be- he was in Denali?

With the silver car door left open he moved toward me, copper hair wild and skin pale as virgin snow. I felt myself gasp and shake and cooperatively fall to pieces.

What was he doing here? How could it be?

The distance between us closed and the scent of him unraveled me. Emerald eyes were afire as he grabbed me and pinned me against my truck.

"Fuck," I heard him growl and his fingers were in my hair. He scented me and the groan that left his lips had me teetering on edge.

"Edward," I gasped, my dry lips synchronizing his name to the air. This had to be a dream. I must have been asleep at the wheel of my truck somewhere on one-oh-one.

"Bella," he groaned, pinning me further into the side of my Chevy. Not a breath could pass between our bodies and I shook, holding onto his jacket and pressing my nose into the line of his jaw.

Dear God, this had to be real. He was here. Edward was home and here and pressing me hard into my truck until everything around me was a haze but his scent, his nearness.

Sun. Sand. Musk.

"What are…you doing…home?" I gasped, my knuckles white as they gripped onto him. Edward's scent was everywhere, permeating me- altering my consciousness.

I felt high, like I was taking a huge hit of a drug created just for me.

"Complications," Edward panted for breath, drawing his face to mine, his lips plump and inviting and damp with desire. "I'll tell you all about it but not right now."

The desperation in his voice had me panting. I pressed myself against him, feeling a desperate need for closeness and friction and the taste of his mouth against mine. I went from doubting-girl into heat….in seconds flat.

"Fuck, I can smell you," Edward plundered my mouth, holding my face to his and I gasped hard, shaking into his body.

I felt the fever- the aching, throbbing insanity and I couldn't hold it back. I could barely breath, barely speak. All I could do was hold on….

"I need you, Bella," Edward growled, kissing me hard and rough and full of the anguish of being apart.

My God, the taste of his mouth, the feel of his body against me. I moaned into his lips, barely caring about where we were until he broke his kiss away.

Reality flooded into me, Charlie could come by on patrol at any moment or anyone from school. We were in the middle of one-oh-one, gripping and rubbing against each other as though there would never be another moment.

"Charlie wont be home till six-or-seven," I panted, forcing myself to clear my thoughts…for just a few more moments.

"Can you drive?" Edward was gasping so hard his breath was coming in fast hard rents against my mouth. His eyes searched mine and I could see him battling for control of himself….

…one of us had to have it and at the moment it surely wasn't me.

"I can drive- follow me," I whimpered.

Damn I wished my truck could go faster than fifty-five.

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A/N:

Thank you a thousand times to Brits_23, author Extraordinaire and Beta-Dynamite. Without Brits, Snarlward would never have become what he is. If you have not shown her the love, please visit her own wonderful works at:

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1849726/

Thank you to the Covenant of the Snarl my Sistahs of Scrumptiousness and the Twitterazzi, who bring the Tweets to Life!

A special note to everyone who reviewed last chapter: How incredible was it to read every rally to the defense and love of Breaking Trinity? I am blown away and eternally yours, as you are eternally mine J

Snarlward: They cant be yours, they're mine. *folds arms before his chest*

Me: Lets not debate this, how about we compromise at saying we are theirs and they are ours?

Snarlward: *smirks dangerously* I don't share.

Me: Well, get used to it.

Snarlward: The Hell I will.

Me: Go back into your cage until next chapter…..*narrows eyes*

Snarlward: *grumbles and laughs* You win for now. I'll get mine in the next chapter along with a new pair of…..

Me: *points* Cage. Now.

One last note:

Rememberwhen009  
2010-12-22 . chapter 26

Never fear, perhaps like me your readers appreciate the time you take to write for us, but feel that our review would just be one of the many you receive and therefore don't review.

_I just wanted to comment on this. _

_I do read every review even if I can only reply to a handful. Thank you __RememberWhen __and thank you to everyone who takes the time to send some love- thoughts, support, wisdom or theory. Reading how this story affects you, how it brings you through the rollercoaster and makes an impact- _is why I write_._

_Its for you. Now and always and forever. Every last review gets through to me and none of you are a nameless face in the crowd. Those who comment regularly, I look for your thoughts every time. I know who you are and it is never without appreciation. Hearing your words and knowing you are still with me, makes me squee with internal joy. I know what it is to undertake this endeavor, to be a part of the family from the start._

_The same goes for all of the new and wonderful readers who join our family. I look for your reviews, remember your names and thank you for coming along and staying on this journey._

_Each and every one of you is vital to me and to Snarlward. It is because of you, we know we are doing well and telling one helluva story._

Next Update: Approximately 01/19 - 01/26/11 ( What that means: if it is not posted on 01/19 be assured it will be up on 01/26/11)

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Click the button if your waiting for something lemony-delicious.


	28. Lost and Found

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 26: Lost and Found

~)(~

EPOV

_Tangerine. Honey. Wet Wildflowers. _

Bella filled my senses and fucking destroyed me. Just one draught of her, one touch- one desperate God-damn kiss and I swear, I was about to lose my shit and take her on the side of one-oh-one.

Fuck. The things I wanted to do to her, with her and for her.

My hands were shaking as I gripped the fucking wheel, navigating my car behind Bella's truck and wishing that piece of shit would move faster than the God damn speed limit. I'd help her to buy her a new fucking car if she'd let me, that rusted hunk was a death trap and far below what my girl deserved.

My Girl. _My Bella_.

I focused on the road ahead of me and stretched out my fingers. I was tense and eager and had been an inconsolable prick the entire way home from Alaska. I practically ear-raped my family like a typical aggravated teenager when my father decided to drive like an old man all the way home from SeaTac. Carlisle knew how to put the pedal to the medal and normally was as lead-footed as I was on the road.

It didn't help that Alice kept telling me I would get to Bella in plenty of time. And my mood soured even faster when my parents almost put the cock-block down on my whiny ass. Apparently Carlisle and Esme wanted to have a family discussion about what went down in Alaska. I knew we needed it…..but right now, I needed Bella more.

With great reluctance my mother finally gave me her blessing to leave home as long as I promised I would be back for dinner and ready to talk. I would have sworn to anything as long as I could get out the damn door and get to my girl.

I was running late. I fucking hated being late.

By pushing my car to the limits on one-oh-one, I caught up with Bella before she had reached her house. Of course, had I not been a self absorbed asshole, I could have just called to say I was on my way to her instead of hunting her down on the road with flashing lights and a blaring horn.

I wasn't exactly in my right frame of mind at the time. How I was staying in control now, I barely fucking knew.

When the turn came for Bella's street, I went one more block over. I knew she had said Charlie was going to be at work until six-or-seven but I didn't want to take any chances.

I parked on the end of the next road and tore out of my car, slamming the door and hitting the alarm as I moved. I reached her driveway just as Bella was at the door and when she turned to look over her shoulder to see me coming, I felt myself start to shake.

Fucking shake.

"Edward," Bella said and her breath caught against her lips. I could hear her keys jingling in her fingers as she tried to unlock the door.

She couldn't take her eyes off me.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'm right here Bella…and now we need to get inside," I said in a voice far huskier than I had intended. I heard my girl whimper and scent the air between us.

I damn near lost my shit right there on her doorstep.

_Hold it, Cullen. Another minute, maybe two. Hold it down._

Fuck, my head filled with images of Bella beneath me with her wrists in my hands pinned to the fucking bed while she begged me…..

"I've got it," Bella finally said, gasping. She pushed through the door and tossed her knapsack on the table, turning to face me as I entered in behind her.

With a dark smile I leaned back and turned the lock, making sure we wouldn't be interrupted without warning. I had such plans for my Bella….

…and they were starting right now.

"How- how did you get back so early?" Bella asked in a quivering voice.

I turned from the door and my eyes drank in my beautiful girl as she stood there, wringing her fingers together anxiously. Her pouty lips were parted for a heady breath.

The things I was going to do to her…

"You could say I got my family thrown out of Alaska." I removed my jacket and tossed my car keys on the table. The loud clank from the key ring on wood made my girl jump.

She wasn't skittish, she was responsive and eager. I could smell her heat across the room.

_Fuck_.

"Thrown out?" she asked, quirking her brow exquisitely. I licked my lips slowly and started to close the distance between us.

"Apparently Tanya didn't get my break up message on the phone. So, I gave her an up close and personal replay," I sneered. I wasn't trying to think about anyone or anything but Bella right now, but I knew my girl needed an explanation.

Fuck that, she deserved one.

"Oh," Bella bit at her lip, tugging plump velvet with her teeth. 'So, I mean, you're not going back to her or anything?"

"Don't sound so disappointed," I said darkly, feigning sarcasm just to watch my girl flush even harder.

"I…I'm not disappointed. I don't want you to go back to her, I had just heard…" Bella looked beautiful all flustered. Shocks of long dark hair shivered against her shoulders as she reconciled my words.

"You had heard what, Bella?" I said slowly, finally close enough to touch her. My fingers twitched and ached and reached up all on their own.

My thumb brushed across her lips and I could feel her shiver responsively. Just touching her made my cock fucking twitch and my senses sharpen.

And just like that I was hard. Again.

"I…I don't know…" she stuttered, breathing shallow and fast. My fingers traveled down her cheek and along her neck.

"You don't know what you heard, Bella?" I smiled darkly. Fuck, I loved how she came undone just for me.

"I can't think straight- when you're this close to me," she moaned as her dark chocolate eyes searched through mine.

I leaned down slowly, pausing only when my lips were a breath from hers. "Good."

Without another word, I tasted her, dragging my tongue along the silk of her lips. She moaned, silently pleading me to kiss her right-and-fucking-proper. Like I needed any encouragement?

My control was already hanging by a thread.

Bella moved against me, her palm flat on my chest as I gripped her hips, holding her captive. She moaned desperately into my mouth as her tongue twined against mine.

With a heavy groan I pulled her hard into me, breaking the kiss. I needed more. I wanted _her_.

"Bella," I growled, thrusting my hips against her hard, desperate for friction. "We need to go upstairs before I lose what control I have left."

"Alright," she whimpered as I pulled away. Bella was shaking and it wasn't just from the loss of contact.

It was need. _I could smell it._

I followed my girl up the stairs, shedding my jacket and shoes on the landing and not giving a shit about where they fell. She parted the portal to her inner sanctum and I was instantly drawn in by the overwhelming scent of my girl.

Fuck, she was everywhere and I would never get used to it. My senses shifted into overdrive as I kicked the door shut behind me.

Bella jolted, turning around so fast I could see her hair flying like silk against the light of the room. Her hand was on her heart and she gasped a breath once her eyes found mine.

Her blush spread across her face and neck and down along the delicious line of her chest. "I'm sorry my room is such a mess…"

"It's about to get a whole lot messier," I growled softly, licking my lips. I couldn't give a damn how much of a mess her room was at this moment anyway. "Come here, Bella."

~)(~

BPOV

His tongue darted out over his lips and I was transfixed.

"Come here, Bella." I could hear the rumble in his chest, a soft growl that ignited the ache inside of me. I wanted him, more than I should have. More than I could have believed possible.

I knew in this moment, that Edward was dangerously close to becoming my everything.

"Isabella." He growled my name like a warning and it turned me on all the more. Edward was on the edge of his control, something I understood far better than I should have. I was dangling dangerously close to losing myself when I was with him.

_Lost? What about found? Maybe that was how it was really supposed to be all along._

What we had was nothing _ordinary_. It was dark, possessive and primal. It was right.._we were right_…and damn anything that told us any different. All of this sudden realization was threatening to weigh me down, I needed a distraction.

And in an instant I knew exactly what I wanted.

"Impatient?" I smiled, feeling his feral energy wash over me, bathing me and transforming me from a scarred broken girl into a woman who was ready for this. Ready for him.

I really was starting to feel like two different people.

A sculpted brow cocked in defiance. "Don't play with fire or you _will _get burned."

"I want to taste you," I accentuated my own breathy words with a lick of my lips. His darkened eyes narrowed and I could see his fingers flex from fist to flat, repeatedly.

_You weren't expecting that, where you Cullen?_

"Jesus-fucking-Christ," Edward inhaled sharply. His hand brushed down over his swollen cock, bound in uncomfortably tight jeans and palmed his length hard. I knew he was weighing the offer against his own control.

"Fuck, Bella- get on your knees." Edward groaned, watching me move toward him until we were only a breath apart. In a flash he grabbed me, kissing me hard and rough and dangerously hot.

The taste of him made my head spin and when he let me up for air, I dragged my nails down his chest to the belt loops of his jeans. With his hands free, Edward tugged his sweater off and his perfectly toned torso was naked at last.

"I've wanted to do this since Biology class," I admitted and I felt his hips buck against the air. I unlatched the button of his jeans and then slid the zipper down dangerously slow.

I sank down to my knees.

His only response was guttural. A deep growl resonated through his body and I closed my thighs tight, feeling my own body respond to him. His hand slid into his boxers, wrapping around his thick, gorgeous cock.

"You like what you see?" Edward hissed his breath, stroking himself from base to tip, teasing me with such a massive weapon.

I licked my lips slowly. He was mouthwatering to behold. "Feed it to me, Edward. I'm starving…"

"Fuck." His hand slid into my hair and the tip of his cock pressed against my lips. I inhaled sharply, the scent of sun and sand and freshly cured leather set me on fire.

My lips took him and my tongue wrapped around him. Edwards hand fisted into my hair and he let out a string of profanity so enticingly hot, I actually moaned all around him.

"God damn it- fucking mouth- so hot," Edward hissed and I claimed more of him, moving my lips up and down his cock. I could feel him shaking and every tug on my hair just made me suck him harder. Faster. I could feel my cheeks ache from the suction.

I tilted my head slightly to the side to take in more of Edward and his hips….started moving.

"Do you like that Bella? Do you like me fucking your mouth?" He growled, thrusting hard against my lips. I moaned in response and tried to steady myself. Edward was so powerful…so incredibly sexy…all I could do was suck and it wasn't nearly enough.

My hand slid down between my legs, rubbing my shaking fingertips over my jeans and against my clit- I needed friction, this was too hot to bear.

"God damn it, Bella- fuck." The pace of his thrust increased and the panting of his breath had me rubbing myself harder. This was too much, the _need_ was too much.

My tongue swirled his tip and I could taste his precum, salty and sweet and thick. I wanted to drink him until I drowned.

"Fuck!" Edward roared, pushing himself back and out of my mouth. Panting for breath he wiped his forearm across his lips. "Too fucking close…too fucking good. I'm not done with you, yet."

Before I could register anything around me, Edward literally picked me up off of my knees. His lips descended, taking my well-fucked mouth with a rough, incredibly hot kiss.

"Get on the bed," Edward said in a dangerous tone. "Lose the clothes or I'll rip them to shreds myself."

If one more thing like that came out of his mouth, I swear to God I was ready to come without him ever touching me.

~)(~

EPOV

Her mouth was fucking heaven. Tearing myself away from her was hell.

Fuck, I had no idea what the hell I was doing by letting her go down on me. I had pushed myself too far and now my control was literally breaking before my eyes.

I snatched my girl up from her knees, overcome with the scent of her and kissed her as hard as I could. It was the only way to distract myself just long enough to get her on the bed and get her naked.

I shed the rest of my clothing as Bella tossed her shirt and pants to the floor. I didn't give her a chance to go any further.

Pink-lacey-panties.

Fuck me.

My body covered over hers and forced Bella onto her back. I hovered there, my eyes wild, my breathing uncontrollable. My aching dick twitched and my fingers dug deep into her mattress.

This was all I had left.

I inhaled sharply and cracked my neck from side to side. With only that moment of clarity, I leaned down and pressed my nose to the source of my girl's heat.

Sweet-fucking-Christ.

I licked her pussy through her panties, using my hands to force her thighs to spread wide. Bella cried out instantly, arching her hips into my face.

_Mine._

I wanted to eat her sweet fucking pussy alive. Without a word, I ripped her panties off of her, dragging the lacey pink material to my face and inhaling sharply.

My dick was leaking.

_Not yet._

I had to try to prepare her.

I didn't want to break her.

The sound of my own growls echoed back to me and I slid my fingers between her legs, hovering once more over my girl.

"Edward- what, what are you doing? I need you…." She hissed like a she-devil, arching her hot, wet pussy up like a god damn offering.

"I have to- open you. Fuck Bella, this isn't going to be gentle." I exhaled sharply, feeling my girl reach for me. My fingers slid into her tight, wet slit and I was rewarded with the pure throaty cries only my Bella could make.

My fingers were coated before the second pass. Bella was dripping wet and succulent and destroying me from the inside out.

"Edward," she cried out, her perfect walls milking my fingers as they spread her open. The sweet sound of her juices lapping against my skin made me bite my lip hard enough to make it bleed.

"Oh God, Edward!" Bella screamed, her nails ripping into my skin as she tried to anchor herself to me.

I snapped.

My fingers were out of her body and around her wrists, holding her tight to the bed. I could feel her legs shaking and the smell of her told me she was so fucking close to release already.

If my girl was going to cum it was going to be on my dick.

My eyes met hers and I lost all time and space. "I'm going to take you hard, Bella. I need to claim you."

"Yes," Bella moaned, licking her lips as I hovered and poised at her entrance. "Please Edward…."

She. Fucking. Begged.

I fucking speared her.

One hard thrust and I was buried to the God damn hilt inside of my girl's perfect pussy. Fuck, the way she gripped me. Tight and hot and squeezing all around me.

"Bella," I roared in the pure anguish of complete pleasure… This was too much, all of it, all of her. I held myself as still as possible, trying desperately to let her body stretch and adjust.

I needed her but I wouldn't hurt her.

My girl was panting beneath me, flushed and shaking, her eyes wild and dilated.

Pinned to the bed by my hands, Bella still managed to arch beneath me, hissing in desperation. "Edward," she cried out. "fuck me, please."

I snarled like a wild animal.

I couldn't wait anymore.

~)(~

BPOV

I made him lose control.

When Edward snapped, he took me with him. I wanted him raw and now and the torment was killing me.

I begged. I pleaded. I was rewarded.

He was inside of me in one thrust and I swear I saw stars. He felt so good, so right, there was no amount of pain that could remove the full, tingling sensation of being one with him.

Edward paused, pinning me down- hovering above me and awaiting some kind of absolution. I was so close already, I was desperate for him to move.

A snarl ripped from his lips and when he moved inside of me, I forgot how to breathe. His body possessed mine, thrusting deep and hard- making my insides shake.

"Oh God! Edward," I cried out in a strangled breath, arching into him, feeling myself tighten all around him.

"Fuck," he groaned, his lip curling over his teeth as the bed shook beneath the force of his hips. "Your mine."

"Yes," I whimpered between each thrust. He let one hand free and I anchored myself to him, my fingers in his hair and tugging wildly.

"Say it, Bella. Fucking say it," Edward growled, moving shallow within my body.

"Yours! Edward- only yours." I cried out, desperate and wanton.

A spark of light flashed behind my eyes. A hiss fell from my lips and the sensation flared again.

"Right fucking there, Bella?" he panted, making me squirm and cry out beneath him. "that the spot, baby?"

_Oh God._

The E spot.

He was torturing me. He was breaking me and making me anew. This wasn't a _fucking_…it was a _mating_.

The shudder passed through me and I cried out so hard I lost my voice. I was aching and dangling on the edge of my own sanity.

"Hold it Bella- fucking hold it and cum with me." Edward snarled, releasing my other hand and dragging me to him by my shoulders.

It was too much. I couldn't take it anymore. The tip of his cock teased me, dragging hot and heavy inside of me, tormenting me.

"Please," I cried out, nearly in convulsions beneath him. "Edward, I'm begging- please!"

"Fuck!" He hissed and I felt him shudder inside of me. "Cum, baby. Cum with me. Cum all over my dick."

White hot lightning shot through my senses, breaking me to jagged pieces beneath him. I shuddered and screamed and lost my sense of reality, everything falling into a primal haze of red and white.

I felt him fill me. His cock twitching inside of me, his body shaking above me.

I touched the gates of heaven. Everything else in comparison to this moment would be hell.

~)(~

EPOV

I couldn't leave her body. I never wanted to be separated from her again.

Bella broke me of my control and I hadn't ever imagined I could feel this free, this needed and contented. Now that the haze of lust was momentarily suspended, I couldn't help but slowly, gently stroke her face.

Her tears were drying and my girl shivered beneath me, still riding the aftershocks of our intensity. The frenzy was over but desire still raged inside of me.

_Addiction_. This went beyond it.

_Obsession_. It was too far gone for something that simple.

In all honesty, I didn't know how to categorize it.

"What are you thinking about?" Bella's sweet voice shot through me and I couldn't help but smile.

"Nothing," I said gently as my fingers traced spidery webs along her cheeks and lips. "How are you feeling? Did I hurt you?"

"Deliciously sore and no you didn't..well maybe a little but I liked it," Bella blushed. "Your eyes are green again. How are you feeling?"

"Contented, for the moment." I waggled my brow suggestively at my girl and watched her perfect mouth break into a smile. I was amazed of the changes she invoked in me and how well she could read me.

In all honesty, I didn't even know my eyes tended to change color- other than to compliment a color I was wearing at the time. Like gray. "How long has this eye-color-changing-thing gone on?"

"Since that first night I met you, in that random bedroom at Laurent's parent's house." Bella licked her lips, slowly. "You should probably be studied under glass or something."

"It would have to be a pretty big piece of glass," I leaned down, drinking in the scent of _us_ mingled together.

"For parts of you anyway," Bella bit the edge of her lip, her long sable lashes twitching as she looked up and met my eyes. "I can still feel you."

"I know," I whispered slowly, leaning down close enough to lick my tongue against the line of her jaw. My girl tasted so fucking good, I could have made a meal out of her. "I'm still inside of you, Bella."

Bella took in a long draught of breath. "Edward…"

"Yes, I'm hard again," I said, completely unashamed.

"That was fast." Bella was wide eyed.

"Consider it a compliment." My lips explored the corner of her mouth and I let my tongue taste the sweet velvet of her skin.

"Compliment accepted," Bella whispered gently and I could feel her muscles contract around me, involuntarily.

The feel of her was fucking incredible. I wanted to stay with her, just like this for as long as humanly possible.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" I wagered, letting the tip of my nose trace along her jugular.

"Mmm, anything so long as you keep doing that," she purred. I twitched inside of her.

"Will you let me take you out sometime? Someplace nice, maybe make a day of it?" I paused from my ministrations to see her face, her eyes.

"Are you seriously asking me out?" Her brow quirked and she had the most incredible furtive crease between her eyes. "I mean, your inside of me….and hard again….and we just spent the past hour playing wild kingdom?"

"I know I'm doing this all backwards, Bella but," I started to internally chastise when her last comment actually sunk into my head. "Wild Kingdom?"

"Yeah- we um, make a lot of… wild kingdom noises. I mean, I haven't been with that many guys before but I'm pretty sure those kinds of sounds aren't…normal." She was delicately tip-toeing around the whole explanation. I would say it was cute, if I actually said shit like that.

"Well I haven't been with that many guys either and yeah, definitely not normal." I said with a half snicker and Bella's eyes went wide.

"Wait, what?" All of the color drained from her cheeks.

"Relax, Bella. I've never been with a guy, I'm straight remember?" I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. "Or did you need a reminder?"

Because I couldn't resist, I thrust myself deeper into her and she gasped, grasping hold of me in response. The delicious mewl of pleasure that ripped passed her lips made me do it one more time.

Fuck, this could get addictive fast.

"You didn't answer my question," I whispered along her mouth.

"You asked three questions technically but only two of them are worthy of a response," she reminded, arching up against me ever so slowly. "Yes, I'll go out with you…and yes, I think I do need a reminder."

Fuck. Me. Running.

~)(~

BPOV

"That's it baby, find the rhythm. Fuck, yes." Edward groaned, thrusting up so powerfully I could feel him vibrating through my body as I rode him.

I panted for breath, gripping onto his wrists as his hands cupped and teased my breasts. He felt so good, so right.

My body tightened around him and I was finding it hard to stay alert. Everything about him overwhelmed me and right now, in the heat of this moment, I was whimpering with need.

"Oh God, Edward," I cried out, so close again.

"Fuck, Bella. Fuck you're so tight." He shifted, sitting up and grabbing me to him with one hand. When he thrust again, I swore he went hard enough to go right through me.

My eyes rolled back at this position shift and I leaned back to take more of him meeting my body, counter-thrusting into me in perfect timing. He read my body, he knew what I needed.

"Right on the tip, so fucking hot and wet." Edward groaned, his free hand sliding between our bodies. I felt his fingers against my clit and a world of color started to explode behind my eyes.

"Edward," I bit my shaking lip as my body started to writhe above him. "Don't stop, please."

"Wait for me Bella," he panted for breath, his lips and teeth nipping at the skin against my neck. "So fucking close."

I leaned deeper into him, my arms winding around Edward's shoulders and my forehead against his. His fingers played me off so exquisitely well, I was having a hard time holding on.

My muscles tightened surrounding him as I gasped for breath, seeing stars behind my eyes. "Edward! Oh God…"

"Cum for me Bella- fuck, cum for me!" He cried out, thrusting so deep inside of me that I could feel him pulsing.

Just one last brush of his fingers and I was coming apart all around him.

"You fucking wreck me," Edward groaned, falling onto his back on the bed.

"You don't do a bad job yourself," I said with an exhausted smile and unceremoniously collapsed atop Edward.

"I aim to please." Edward's arms came up around me and I could feel him smile against my skin.

If this was bliss, I never wanted it to end.

~)(~

EPOV

The digital read out on the clock was 5:45PM. Bella had been asleep for about a half of an hour, curled up against me on her side with her cheek against my chest.

I watched her in fascination, and every delicate eye roll under heavy lids was noteworthy. She was fucking beautiful. It actually floored me just to watch her this unguarded.

Of course, I felt prideful of just why she was so damn exhausted. What we shared this afternoon was so intense it was even hard for me to keep my eyes open.

I wanted to spend the whole night here with her but I knew that just wasn't going to be possible. I had shit to take care of at home and her father would be back before long.

Slowly, I unwound myself from Bella's grasp and sat up to stretch my back out. I'd be damned if we hadn't had ourselves a fucking great work out.

I rolled off of the bed and started to get dressed, spying those pink lacey panties laying ripped on the floor. I leaned down to get them, the scent of my girl filling me up in an instant.

I'd have use of those later. And a whole new slew of fantasies to get myself off when my girl couldn't do the honors.

With my boxers and jeans back on, I grabbed up my sweater and Bella started to move in the bed. I turned to see that she wasn't awake but still mumbling and fussing around like her subconscious mind was about to drag her into a nightmare.

Running my fingers through my hair, I sat myself back down and then brushed her arm slowly.

The moment I touched her, she settled back into sleep as though nothing had ever dared to disturb her. That was pretty fucking strange.

Either way, I didn't have time to debate it now, I had to wake my girl up and get moving before we ended up busted.

"Bella," I said softly, soothing her hair. Jesus, I was getting pussy whipped. But let's face facts, that's a damn fine pussy to be whipped by. "Wake up."

Nothing. My girl actually snored like a damn protest.

I shook her as lightly as possible and slowly, I watched her come around. After a few flutters of lashes, Bella opened her eyes and a smile formed over her lips.

"Edward, how long was I asleep?" she asked, pulling up the covers when she realized she was gloriously and perfectly naked. After all our "Wild Kingdom" sex, as Bella had referenced it, I found it almost fucking beautiful that my girl was still modest.

"About a half an hour but it's almost six." I tried not to sound so fucking down about it but our time alone together was ticking down. "I've got to go home and deal with some shit with the parents from the Alaska trip."

"I really should have asked you to go into more detail but I got kinda sidetracked," Bella blushed.

"I'll fill you in on all the gritty details, I promise." I nodded. "Can I call you later tonight?"

"Oh shit, I have the bonfire tonight at the Reservation." Bella smacked her hand on her forehead.

I, on the other hand, started grumbling immediately. "That kid Jacob invited you, right?"

"That _kid _is a friend of mine, we used to make mud pies together when we were little. Charlie and his dad are best friends, so it's not some random _kid_ that invited me to hang out and stare at fire all night." She was defensive immediately.

So was I.

"Point taken but that doesn't mean I like any wolves sniffing around what's mine," I grumbled, narrowing my eyes.

Bella gave me a look, you know the kind I mean- the one that says if I pursue this, shit is going to hit the fan.

I had one of two choices at this point. I could continue this battle and end up with Bella and I pissed off at each other and thereby ruining a perfect afternoon _or_ I could downplay it, brood and demand more information to make sure this Jacob wasn't trying to get too familiar with my girl.

"We'll talk about Jacob later. Just make sure he keeps his paws and his stink off of you," I growled.

"Definitely a topic we have to hit on soon, since I intend to keep Jacob around. He might well be my only real friend in this one-horse-town." Bella sat up, wrapping her covers around her.

I was disappointed to not get another glimpse at her rocking-hot body.

"So, call me tonight when you get back- just to let me know you're alright," I finally said, content for the moment to leave it at that. Well, not really but I sure as hell was going to fake it until it was believable.

"You mean _untouched_, not alright," Bella said with a sternness in her voice I hadn't expected. Like a kitten with her claws out. "But fine, I'll call you tonight."

An awkward moment of silence followed as Bella reached down the side of her bed, where she thought her shredded panties were laying. When she didn't find them there, she looked to me and blushed.

I'm pretty sure she muttered something along the lines of "I don't want to know."

I had to laugh, despite myself.

"Are you going to be around tomorrow?" she asked as she drew her shirt over her head sans bra. I couldn't help but watch as her lithe long legs slid back into her jeans again sans undergarments.

I tapped my pocket where her pink panties were neatly tucked away and cleared my throat.

"I have to fulfill my weekly community service requirement for graduation with Mr. Basttion in the afternoon and I have a baseball game in the evening," I mumbled, realizing just how shitty my schedule really was.

With Tanya, she wasn't around much for me to have to worry about. And frankly, I didn't look forward to spending all that much time with her other than for obvious…carnal pursuits. Not that Tanya was all that good in bed but hell, I'm still a guy.

Bella on the other hand- that was a different story entirely. And as I was watching her stand up all dressed and hair a mess, I realized this story was becoming more of a novel than anything I had ever anticipated.

"I think you're playing Jacob's team tomorrow right? The whole school was buzzing about it. Maybe I'll have to go," Bella said thoughtfully. "To see you, not Jacob. Of course, that depends on if Charlie lets me off restriction to go."

Bella's mind must have been racing a mile a minute because she had a far away look in her eyes.

"Charlie is definitely another obstacle we need to figure out," I said with a grimace of consternation. "But it would be fucking awesome if maybe I could sneak you away after the game for a little while."

"Agreed. I mean, I'm not even sure why my dad doesn't seem to like you. Has he arrested you before or something?" Bella asked, smoothing out her hair and fidgeting.

"No, of course not," I laughed. "I mean he's stopped me a few times for speeding but definitely nothing jail worthy."

"Well that's good at least." She sounded relieved. "So, I guess I'll just have to worm it out of him. Charlie is a big teddy-bear really."

It was hard to picture any gun-toting-mustache-wearing-police-chief as anything resembling a teddy-bear.

It was closing in on six-o-clock and I slid my shoes and jacket on. Bella watched me and I could see a change in her demeanor. I knew she didn't want this afternoon to end any more than I did.

What choice did we have?

"Walk me down?" I asked, wishing there was a way around this whole leaving thing.

Bella nodded her response and followed me down the stairs we had been so eager to get up- just a few hours ago. I retrieved my keys and stood by the door, peeking out between the window slats for any sign of a cop car.

"I'll call you tonight, after the bonfire- you know, if Jacob hasn't worn me out by then," she said and I knew she was joking but I still narrowed my eyes at her.

"You're going to make me spy on you from the trees, aren't you?" I raised a brow. I wasn't really kidding- but Bella didn't need to know that.

Before she could respond, I leaned in and drew Bella into my arms, hugging her so tightly that she actually squealed. I had to admit it was pretty awesome.

In the midst of her struggle to slide out of my tight embrace, I captured her lips and found just a little slice of heaven.

The moment didn't last long enough.

Before I knew it, I was back in my car and speeding down the road toward my house where I knew my entire family was waiting for me.

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A/N

Thank you to my extraordinary Brits_23 Beta-Director-Goddess-Elite. Brit puts the SNARL in snarlward :P. Please visit her epic works of Twifiction:

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1849726/

For all of my Covenent Sistahs and Twitterazzi- Snarlie snaps his teeth in the air just for you.

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Next Update approximately 02/09/11 - 02/16/11.


	29. Setting the Stage

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 27: Setthing the Stage

~)(~

BPOV

Wow.

That was all I could say.

Just Wow.

When Edward left, I stood in the kitchen for several minutes just refusing to believe he was gone. Almost to the point of panicking. It was like the anxiety of the moment he walked out threatened to swallow me whole if I didn't pretend he was going to be coming back through that door….any second now.

There was no way that was healthy.

Ad I was starting to feel sick to my stomach.

_Bella, get a hold of yourself, right now._

I kept repeating it soundlessly, like a mantra.

_Do you want Charlie to walk in and find you like this? Disheveled and smelling like sex and Edward?_

Point taken.

I forced myself to move and scurried up the stairs, clutching my stomach and refusing to give in to the ache. I was a junkie and I needed another fix. Already.

When I burst through into my bedroom, I got exactly what I needed.

_Sun. Sand. Freshly cured leather._

Edward was everywhere and I wanted to collapse onto my bed and just hold the sheets and comforter against my body until I fell asleep.

_Sick or not, your father has a nose like a blood hound._

Shit.

My brain switched to auto-pilot. I wouldn't be able to do what I had to do, any other way.

I pulled my comforter back to the end of the bed and stripped off my sheets. Tossing them on the floor, I tore off my clothing and grabbed my robe, wrapping the terrycloth around me.

As much as I wanted to savor my addiction to Edward's scent, I tore my window open and let the fresh cold air in.

With bare feet on cold wood floors, I tore down the stairs and started a load of laundry. While it was going, I riffled through the refrigerator to find a pan of half-left over lasagna we had eaten for dinner the other night.

Pulling back the foil cover, I popped the pan into the stove and forced myself to go up and take a shower.

The last thing I wanted was to wash away the evidence of the afternoon, but what choice did I have?

Everywhere my soap and loafah touched was sore. I scrubbed my skin carefully, feeling the pleasure and memory flooding back to me as I recalled every touch, every kiss…..

I was panting for breath and if my shower had a pulsing nozzle, I would have gotten myself off and screamed his name all over again.

Maybe later tonight, alone and in my bed I would explore every achingly delicious sore spot inside my body….

I closed my eyes and whimpered aloud. If I kept on thinking like this, I would crawl into a ball and start to cry.

Yes, cry.

I finished my shower without washing my hair and dressed quickly in my room, finally deciding the cold air had purged the mingling scents of our afternoon far enough away. When I pulled the comforter back into place to quasi make up my bed, the faint trace of our time together remained.

I hoped it was minute enough to avoid detection. I wouldn't part with it. I had to have some kind of keepsake.

Pulling my hair back into a loose and damp ponytail, I checked on the lasagna and threw my laundry into the dryer. That was when I heard the cruiser pull up and my nerves hit high alert.

Charlie wasted no time jetting up the outside stairs and stepping in through the kitchen. He wasn't at all surprised to see me there, tending over a hot stove. I did love to cook, though the feast tonight was nothing more than leftovers.

"Hey, Kiddo. Smells great," Charlie said as he started to unbuckle his belt and holster. He walked passed me, planting a kiss on my forehead as he moved. "Everything will be ready in time to get to Billy's?"

"Yeah, Dad, " I said too quickly, leaning my face into the oven and hoping it would make a good excuse as to why I was so flushed. At least for the moment.

"Good, you've got a load of laundry in. My other uniform in there too?" Charlie asked, hanging up his sidearm and jacket, rubbing his hands together with an obviously eagerness to dig in and eat.

"Um, no Dad. I had to toss my sheets in with a few things, they were due for a change." I pulled on my oven mitts.

"Didn't you just wash everything a few days ago?" He quirked a dark brow. Charlie was more suspicious than usual these days.

"Woman stuff, Dad." I groaned while pulling the lasagna pan out of the oven.

"Right, right," he said and I knew without looking he had his hands up in defense. "Do you need me to go to the store for anything, you know….like tampons?"

I looked over my shoulder and his eyes were darting everywhere in the kitchen to avoid looking at me.

"No, Dad- I'm fine." I couldn't help but laugh. Charlie didn't tend to hover until it was too late and even then, nothing could throw him further off the path than _woman stuff. _

"Alright." Charlie left it at that and I was more than happy to oblige.

As the pan came out of the oven, Charlie started to gather utensils and plates and set them up in our pre-designated seats. He put out the pot warmers for me to lay the pan down on and grabbed two cans of soda out of the fridge.

Charlie didn't drink if he was going to be leaving the house and driving. Not even a single beer, though his tolerance was undoubtedly much higher than what a lone lager could do to him.

Once the pan was down, my father served us and I took a heavy sip out of my soda. I was far more thirsty than I realized. With obviously good reason.

"So how was school today, Bells?" he asked, looking over the table and not finding what he needed. Coming to a quick stand, he popped the fridge open and grabbed the grated parmesan cheese.

"It was fine, nothing new to report." I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the large portion of meatless feast on my plate. I wasn't even hungry but I knew I had to at least take a few bites.

"What'd you do when you got home?" Charlie cut off a bit of the lasagna using the edge of his fork.

"Homework. I had some reading for English," I said, taking up the grated cheese and dousing it on the lasagna. I did have a lot of homework, but for English I had already read Pride and Prejudice so many times on my own that I could practically recite the entire book.

"What are you reading?" Charlie asked. Nothing slipped past this man. Ever.

"Pride and Prejudice," I responded, taking a mouthful of food just to shut myself up and hope to end the conversation.

"Isn't that one of your favorites? You have so many dog-eared old books," my dad responded, wiping his mouth of the marinara.

"Yeah, it is. Just gives me an excuse to re-read it, again." I swallowed, hoping that simple act would cover up my incredible ability to suck and fail in the realm of lying. I mean I did have to actually read the book again to answer the questions presented to me in essay form, but really...this was a favorite.

Charlie nodded and continued eating in silence.

And suddenly, I remembered something I had to start working on if I was going to make it come true.

"_I think you're playing Jacob's team tomorrow right? The whole school was buzzing about it. Maybe I'll have to go." I was already looking at every angle to make the next part of my statement come true.. "To see you, not Jacob. Of course, that depends on if Charlie lets me off restriction to go."_

"_Charlie is definitely another obstacle we need to figure out," Edward said with a serious look on his face. "But it would be fucking awesome if maybe I could sneak you away after the game for a little while."_

"Hey Dad, I've got a question for you." I set my fork down, watching my father's eyes across the table.

"What's up, Bells?" I knew that tone. He was waiting for me to start whining about something. I knew- that he knew- this was going to be about my restriction.

"Does my current at-home-lockdown include school functions?" I pursed my lips, hearing my father sigh.

"I need a little more information than that," Charlie exhaled, sipping his soda.

"There's a baseball game tomorrow night. The Reservation is playing our team for an exhibition or whatever they call the pre-season games," I tried not to roll my eyes. "Anyway, everyone from school is going and I wasn't sure…."

"You're taking an interest in sports? Or is this because of Jacob?" Charlie was obviously surprised and bellowed a bemusing chuckle. He cleared his throat when he realized I was staring at him with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah, sorry." He scratched his hand behind his neck. "Baseball game, eh? And everyone is going…." Charlie seemed to reiterate to himself. "I'll think about it."

I nodded, not willing to push the issue. His answer was better than a flat out 'no' but still the anxiety in me was welling up. This might be the only chance I would have to see Edward this weekend!

The rest of our dinner was in silence. When I finished, I put the empty pan and my plate in the sink. I ran the water to soak the caked on sauce and cheese. Charlie slid in behind me, putting his own dinner plate in with mine.

"I'm going to go upstairs and change, Bells. When I come down, you'll be ready to go?"

"Yeah, Dad," I said and I knew my disheartened tone couldn't be hidden. I was dangerously close to overplaying my hand so I had to be careful.

When Charlie left the room and headed upstairs, I let my hands drape to the edge of the sink and I leaned heavily on them, exhaling sharply. The hot soapy water hurt my tender knuckles where I had split them with my teeth but that wasn't what was bothering me right now.

I needed Edward. I was going crazy trying to pretend in front of my father. There was no way I could remain impassive when I was raging inside.

Pushing off of the sink, I closed the water to let everything soak and grabbed my phone out of the knapsack that Charlie had placed on the counter nearest the kitchen door.

It was already almost 7:30pm.

I took a chance and grabbed out my phone, flipping the ancient monster open and scrolling down to send a text.

_I'm going crazy._

Hitting send, I shuffled my cell into the back pocket of my jeans just in time for Charlie to walk down the stairs all changed up and freshened.

"Ready go to, Kiddo?" he asked, dragging his heavy jacket on.

"Sure thing," I said and realized how lifeless I sounded. I was falling hard into my addiction. I needed another fix. I needed Edward.

Now.

~)(~

EPOV

It was Friday.

If Monday was family Portuguese night and Wednesday was Italian, here I was smack-dab in the middle of cultural family French Night.

I tossed my keys on the end table near the front door and the various smells hit me immediately. Judging by the time, I had already missed Apéritif and the Entrée. Just the main course was left.

The familiar scent of Emincé de Volaille with Roquefort sauce and Pommes de terre sautées hung heavy in the air. One of my damn favorites and my stomach was already grumbling.

I had worked up quite a fucking appetite. Literally.

As I removed my jacket, the scent that overwhelmed me had nothing to do with food.

Bella was still all over me.

God-Damn, I had to shift my dick as the beast stirred to life. Nothing like going into a family get-together sporting the mother of all hard-ons. Closing my eyes and fighting back a groan, I pulled the "flip up trick' and rearranged my sweater and jeans to give me some room.

Or create a fucking illusion. Whichever was clever.

The last thing I wanted to do this afternoon was leave my girl. Not only did we have hours of perfect fucking, but I had actually made her smile and got her to agree to go out, all nice and proper like.

I was raised to be a gentleman. With Bella, I hadn't had the chance to show her that or treat her the way a guy was supposed to treat his girl. Bella was definitely right when she said we had some Wild Kingdom thing going on but I knew there had to be more to us than that.

My girl brought out the primal nature that lurked beneath my up-reared civility. I would find a way to make both co-exist, to be everything she needed and wanted.

"Edward," the voice of my father called out and startled me. I had been so lost in my own thoughts, I never heard him approach the landing above me.

"Dad,' I nodded, slipping off my shoes to avoid tracking in dirt to the house. I knew better than to bring that kind of swift retribution down on my head like acid.

"Your mother is making dinner," Carlisle said in fluent French whilst walking down the stairs toward me. He crossed the distance in a mere second, as fluid as always. One hand braced to my shoulder and I could see his blue eyes analyzing everything with computer-like efficiency.

"Smells great," I returned, my brain switching to French-speech-mode. Of all the romance languages, this one might well have been my favorite. "Are we meeting before or after dinner?"

"I had hoped to discuss the events of the past few days prior to dinner, son. However, I believe you might need to take some time to make yourself more…presentable," Carlisle continued and I knew without another word being said precisely what he meant.

I smelled of sex and Bella. And my obvious state of arousal had not dissipated as quickly as I had hoped.

I would have been embarrassed but this was my dad and he _was_ a doctor. The shit this man has seen in the course of his medical career far outweighed my vanity at the moment. Not to mention, Carlisle had always raised his kids to believe that sexuality was not something dirty.

I'm sure he still wasn't too terribly thrilled about the scent of sex that assaulted his senses. Or rather the fact that his son was obviously having it. Not that my father was terribly judgmental, but he was definitely old fashioned.

I, on the other hand, couldn't wait to get a few minutes alone with a special lacey trinket in my pocket and vivid memories of Bella from just an hour ago.

"Yeah, you're probably right," I finally acknowledged and nodded as my father unclasped his hand from my shoulder.

"I'll tell your mother to wait a bit before we set the table, we can all meet afterward." Carlisle placed his hands in his pockets, giving me another short glance over. "How is Bella?"

"She is well, surprised to see me." My French was pretty damn good and I tried to focus on that rather than the anguish and lust rushing through me. And again, that lacey trinket in my pocket.

"You and Bella are moving quite fast," he said mostly to himself, but then continued, "Have you approached her father, Chief Swan, to court her yet?" Carlisle asked, his inflection of a foreign language always painstakingly perfect. And yes, my dad really was that old school.

I floundered for a moment, for the proper words and sentiment. "I don't think Chief Swan will take too kindly to my interest in his daughter…but...we haven't crossed that bridge yet."

"_She tells me she hates you," Chief Swan continued, looking me dead in the eyes._

"_Stay away from my daughter, Edward," he said, adjusting his jacket as he started to turn. "And call your father, he wants to speak to you."_

The memory of my impromptu conversation with Chief Swan after the sudden fire-alarm was pulled at school came rushing back to me.

I felt all of the blood drain out of my face and blanched.

"Edward, your mother and I raised you far better than this. There should be no sneaking around. If you have made up your mind that Bella is the one you wish to pursue, you should approach her father." Carlisle arched a golden eyebrow. "And accept the consequences."

"By the way, no one _courts _these days, Dad," I said, sighing heavily and trying to keep the Charlie situation from bringing my spirits down. Even with all this banter and the flip up trick, I was still raging hard. I was being fed a constant supply of Bella's scent and believe me, it was fucking agonizing.

"Well son, maybe someone ought to start." That was the last Carlisle said on the subject. With a smile and a turn of his heel, he nodded and returned up the stairs to the awaiting family.

Slinking passed everyone in the kitchen, I stalked to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me. In passing I heard my mother ask if I was home and my father's confirmation and excuse to buy me time.

Taking a deep breath, I let my head hit back against my bedroom door. I knew my father was right about the Charlie situation. Not much happened in a small town that wouldn't reach his ears and if I intended to make a display of my girl and I- we could be treading on dangerous ground to keep him in the dark.

I didn't want to hide what we had anymore. And I hoped Bella felt the same.

Glancing at the digital display on my clock, I wondered if my girl was getting ready to go to the bonfire tonight. I really fucking hated the idea of her seeing Jake, but the guy hadn't done anything improper…yet.

Minus answering her phone _and_ being in her room. _Big minus. _

I was already sneering at the memory.

It took everything I had in me to fight with the desire to suddenly and violently find him and rearrange his face.

I needed a distraction.

Stripping my clothes off to prepare for a shower, I leaned into my pants pocket and produced my little pink-lacey-treasure before tossing my spent jeans on the floor. I was fucking salivating as I ran my thumb over the now dry crotch of her panties and eagerly brought my finger to my lips.

_Tangerine. Honey. Wet Wildflowers._

Fuck, the scent of her was agony.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against my bedroom wall. I knew what I was going to do next and I didn't care how fucking psychotic I was becoming.

Passing her panties under my nose I inhaled her and ran my tongue over the delicate lace, wetting them all over again.

Fuck, I could taste her.

My dick was leaking.

Spitting into my hand, l braced myself against he wall, feeling the cold chill of paint and plaster on my back. I inhaled a shaky breath as I passed my damp palm all over my aching dick.

Fuck, that felt good.

My girl's scent, still all over my leaking cock, took on a fucking life of its own and all I could hear was Bella's words.

"_Feed it to me, Edward. I'm starving…"_

God damn, the memory of Bella on her fucking knees with wet lips parted and hungry tongue aching to taste me….made me tighten my fist around my dick. I groaned and bit into my lip.

Fuck.

My balls were tight as I pumped slick saliva and leaking precum from base to tip. How eagerly she begged me to fuck her mouth with every moan and breath and I was gonna feed her till she was full.

I twitched in my hand as I raised her panties to my mouth, my teeth sinking into the damp material. I wanted it to be her perfect pussy, dripping into my mouth.

"Fuck baby, take it- take all of it. Show me how God damn hungry you are," I groaned through her panties clenched in my teeth and fucked myself mercilessly into my fist.

It wasn't my hand, it was her glorious fucking mouth.

I could see her, kneeling in supplication- sliding her hand between her legs to tease her pussy, getting off on my dick in her mouth. So beautiful, a virtual Goddess with hungry, dark brown eyes.

"Fuck baby, that's it- let the head hit the back of your throat," I growled, twisting my fist mercilessly around my aching swollen tip. My shoulders pushed into the wall and my thighs started to shake.

"So close- Bella! Fuck, take it deep." My head banged back into plaster and I didn't give a shit how hard it hit. My imagination was working overtime, trying to keep up with my fist.

I sucked her panties into my mouth harder, swirling my tongue around the delicate lace to drink in every last drop of her. I was shaking, so fucking close….

Fuck.

Bella. Fuck. Right there.

"I'm cumming baby- swallow me down. Show me how fucking hungry you are," I growled, my free hand bracing the wall as every sensation and scent overwhelmed me.

When my dick twitched, I thumbed the tip and snarled.

I came so hard I saw stars.

I caught every drop of release in my palm while I seizured up against the wall, practically fucking swallowing my girl's panties down my throat. What a way to die, with the taste of my Bella filling up my senses.

After a few long seconds, I felt my body relax and I moved off the wall. Panting for breath, I wrapped my girl's panties around my wrist and walked shakily into the bathroom to wash my hands.

Folding her panties up into a neat little triangle, I set them on the sink and jumped into the shower.

I was drained and elated at the same time.

~)(~

"Edward, you're just in time," my mother said as she set down the Pommes de terre sautées next to the Emincé de Volaille with Roquefort sauce.

If I was starving before, I was ready to gnaw my own hand off as long as it was covered in Roquefort sauce at the time.

"You should've been here for the appertif," Emmett said in choppy French with a waggling brow, making sure to pat his stomach.

Bastard.

I was going to say how much more fun it was to have my girl screaming above and below me versus appertif and entrée but I figured it wasn't in my best interest to spout off at the mouth.

"Don't worry, I saved you some to take for lunch tomorrow," Esme said as she leaned over, giving me a motherly wink of her eye. God, I loved my mother.

I never had an idea just how hard my mom worked at keeping our family so damn together. Even getting into Forks just after 3pm this afternoon, Esme had still managed to stay on track for French Friday and put together a culinary masterpiece.

My mind couldn't help but wander. Did Bella speak any other languages? Could she cook? Would she ever let me cook for her?

Not that I was amazing in the kitchen but I knew a few tricks. I was something of a Momma's boy when I was younger, before I discovered violent video games, cussing, sarcasm and sex.

"Thanks, Mom," I said as I set my napkin on my lap.

"So, how's Bella?" My twin asked with a glitter in her eye. Alice had that look about her that told me Jasper was coming over tonight. I had introduced Jasper to the useful applications of a gag.

My sister was a screamer.

Gross.

"She's fine," I said as I cleared my throat. My father poured white wine into both his and my mother's glass. The rest of us had sparkling water. Not even close to fair.

"Are we starting this meet and greet at some point? I have to pick Rosie up in Port," Emmett grumbled, waiting for our father to say the usual family dinner prayer.

Great. If Rosalie was staying over as well I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight from either end of the house.

Yeah, Emmett was a screamer too.

Fuck my life.

"Calm down son," Carlisle said as he looked at Emmett with a full-on smile that read something intelligent about the impetuousness of youth. But did he realize the sex-crazed kids he had raised?

So much for waiting till you're married and ready to settle down. Of course, that sex conversation our father had sat us all down through individually did mention the words, 'true love.'

The singer. La Tua Cantante.

_Fuck Uncle Aro. And double fuck my life_.

What the hell are we teenagers supposed to know about that shit anyway? That was just a story Uncle Aro had told us about years ago. Of course Alice would have brought it up a few nights ago, she's a girl and impressionable and in love with castles and unicorns and faeries granting wishes.

Guys didn't think that way.

Well, unless you were Emmett who swore he found his soul mate in Rosalie the day he met her.

Again, what the fuck are any of us supposed to know about our singer-soul-mates? And why was I suddenly feeling so anxious and frustrated?

"Edward, are you alright?" Alice said with the kind of knowing glance that spoke as many volumes as the Cheshire cat's smile.

"Fine," I grumbled.

In the knick of time, Esme sat down and took a moment to smooth back her coppery-bronze hair, looking as beautiful and matronly as ever. We never began dinner before our mother was ready, she was the heart of the family and sometimes when she was chastising us….she was the lungs as well.

It got me thinking about the family endeavor. If Esme was the heart and lungs….

That left Carlisle to be more of the Brain-and-backbone of the group. It worked and no, it isn't sexist.

In this genetic gathering, Carlisle made the final decisions after lengthy debate with Esme. In matters of the family, when my mother would slide over to the emotional side, it was my father who kept the cause and effect in place to assure balance on all ends.

A dynamic and example that I was sure all of my siblings and I would be searching to re-create in our own lives, psychologically at least.

You can thank Mr. Basttion for that insight. Sometimes that man really got into my head.

I heard my mother assure she was ready to begin and Carlisle said a short prayer in French to bless the family and all of those we loved and cared for. He offered words of comfort for Tanya and her family back in Denali with a hope for peace and forgiveness.

When the prayer was finished the plates started passing and it didn't take long for the conversation I had been dreading to get underway.

"I called Alaska this evening and spoke to Eleazar," Carlisle began and I already felt my stomach drop. "Everyone is doing as well as can be expected and Laurent is being of great assistance to Tanya."

_That's what best friends are for, right? _I thought to myself. Of course, I still wanted to shred Laurent from limb to limb, but it had nothing to do with Tanya. Just the memory of that pompous skater-punk talking shit about my Bella….

My fist clenched under the table. Thankfully, it went unnoticed.

"Your father and I want to thank you all for being as selfless and supportive as you have been," Esme said, taking a sip of her wine.

"Edward is our brother, what did you expect us to do?" Emmett dabbed at his chin with his napkin before returning it to his lap. "United we stand."

"We all loved Irina, mom. What happened to her was horrible but what Edward was going through was pretty bad too," Alice said, giving me a green-eyed wink.

If my mother was the heart and lungs of this genetic creation and my father the brains and backbone, then Alice and Emmett were the left and right side appendages, functioning separate and yet together to make it all move along.

What did that make me?

Carlisle set down his fork and took a sip of his white wine. "Alice brings up a very good point, Edward. I will ask you why you haven't spoken to your mother and I about your previous relationship." My dad was tiptoeing around the wording but at this point I appreciated it. "But that is after I find out what exactly went wrong between you and Tanya. And where does Bella Swan fit into all of this?"

That was quite a mouthful my father had just unloaded on me.

The question remained. Just how truthful was I prepared to be?

_Suck it up, Cullen._

"Well," I said giving a longing look to my barely touched plate. I was fucking starving but if I had made it this long, a few more minutes of baring my soul wasn't going to malnourish me. "I'm sure you all remember what started this all. You know, the drinking and driving home from a party and the argument Dad's car had with a tree…"

Somehow neither of my parents seemed to find that line too appropriate. But I did hear Emmett chuckle.

"Don't encourage him," Alice grumbled and turned her full attention to me. Sometimes it amazed me how my twin and I seemed to switch around to balance each other so seamlessly. When I was obnoxious, Alice was quiet. When Alice was exuberant, I was morose.

Emmett nodded and went back to chewing. He had heard this story with Alice a few nights ago, a little more in depth than my own parents.

"So, while Dad was taking care of Tanya in the hospital, I guess I tried to barter my soul for a favorable return. She was in a coma and the cat scan didn't suggest something good so, I did what anyone would do I guess. I got down on my knees and prayed…and begged and promised I would do anything to make her alright." I lifted my glass of sparkling water, distracting myself from disgusting reality for just a second.

"I promised that if Tanya came out of that coma, I would do right by her and I would do it forever," I paused and I could see the soft sorrowful look reflected in my mother's eyes. "I guess I broke the deal because I only made it a year and a half. That's a pretty shitty show of endurance on my part."

"Don't you think you're being a little hard on yourself, son?" Carlisle asked in a soft and comforting tone. "The accident was caused by circumstances within your control. We have already been over that. However, the outcome of Tanya's well being had nothing to do with you, it wasn't in your hands to barter for her…like beans."

I quirked my brow. "Who barters for beans?"

Emmett let out a full on laugh and tried very poorly to cover it up with his napkin and a clear of his throat.

"It's a turn of phrase, Edward." My dad had on the _don't sass me _look.

_What exactly was _sass _anyway? _

"Edward, I understand your intention but darling, don't you think you might have been in a little over your head? Those were awfully big promises to attempt to make and keep your age," Esme responded and reached out her hand to rest on my forearm.

"Well, Tanya woke up. So, I thought it worked," I sighed, staring down at my plate again with hungry and eager eyes. "I tried to live up to that promise but after about six months or so, the guilt kind of wore off and so did the feelings I thought I had for her."

"So you remained in a relationship with Tanya for over a year, that you had no desire to be a part of. Am I hearing this correct, Edward?" Carlisle looked somewhat perplexed. Believe me, that wasn't something that happened to the good doctor often. "There has to be more to it."

"Well, I suppose there is, Dad." I cleared my throat and mustered a manly courage to look Carlisle dead in the eyes. "You and Mom love Tanya and her sisters like your own kids. I disappointed you by being the ass I was and endangering both her life and my own…."

I paused for a quick breath but held my father's steel blue eyes. "I thought that if I broke her heart, it might make things awkward between our families and that, well…you would be disappointed in me again. Dad, I didn't know what to do…."

Carlisle held his hand up, palm side facing the family. For a moment he looked down, breaking eye contact first with me. He looked as though he were trying to swallow something too large for his mouth.

I even saw his adams apple flex.

"Carlisle?" Esme said softly and I knew instantly my dad wasn't in any real physical distress, not like choking or anything.

"Edward," My dad finally said, sitting back and lowering his hand. "Even thoughI love Tanya and her sisters very dearly, you and Alice and Emmett are my children, you are my world. Although at times, being a parent is trying and there are disappointments to contend with, your mother and I disappoint with the situation and the choices that were made, not with our children."

That wasn't what I was expecting to hear. Not by a long shot.

"The three of you are a blessing to your mother and I. We have given you the best chances to learn and grow and experience the world. There will be mistakes, some of them pretty horrific. Yes, there will be times that are more trying than others….like the situation with you and Tanya and the car, Edward," Carlisle continued. "Or even like Emmett and the wrong crowds he chose to hang around. Were your parents disappointed in the choices that were made? Yes. Did either of us love you any less? Of course not."

"Love is one thing but…" I started and was quickly halted by the sweet voice of my mother.

"Love isn't the _one_ thing, Edward. It is _everything_. Without the love your father and I feel for each other, none of you would have been created. It is what connects us and binds us, even when times are difficult. To be disappointed _in _your children is much different than being disappointed _by_ your children."

Esme took a moment to look from Emmett to Alice and then back to me. Her eyes were so filled with emotion, I felt it tug on my ocular cavities. "Your father and I are very proud of you, each of you. But we still love you and we would never shun you for a poor decision."

I actually understood it now, far clearer than I ever did before. What I believed my parents might have resented me for was never about _me_ really. It was about the choices I made that night and every night after, when I was with Tanya.

They didn't want me miserable and in a relationship I didn't want to be in. They wanted me to find love. They thought I had been happy. I never gave them the chance to know the truth.

This was my shot. My time to clear the air.

"All makes sense now, Edward. Doesn't it?" Emmett said with a shit-eating grin. How the hell did he manage to get the concept so long before I did? My brother wasn't stupid but he wasn't known for being an emotional savant either.

"I think he's got it," Alice said so cheerfully that I wanted to hug her and lock her in her room simultaneously.

"I was with Tanya for you," I was referring to my parents. "I didn't want to be a disappointment again. But it makes sense now, none of you could have known what I was thinking and feeling because I never let you in."

"And now you have. I can say I'm relieved at that," Carlisle said with a warm and soft sigh. "I, too understand how you must have felt staying in a relationship with Tanya when you didn't want to be there. I am even more encouraged to meet Isabella Swan, if she has made you realize what happiness is and has helped you to move forward and take action."

My Bella. My salvation and my damnation. My heaven and hell, all rolled up into one perfect girl.

I wasn't done spouting truth yet. It was time to make sure my parents knew exactly what my brother and sister did.

"Well, you might not like how things happened with Bella and I, but we were together before I broke it off with Tanya. I know this is old news but I mean, we were intimate together….and Bella never knew I had a girlfriend until just a few nights ago." I let those words hang there, in dead space for a long moment. "You can imagine that didn't go over well and I take responsibility for it. I will do whatever I can to make it up to Bella."

"Edward, it wasn't the best decision you could have made concerning Tanya but at least we understand your reasoning now. It doesn't excuse the fact when weighed against truth and respect," Carlisle said with a nod of his head. "The same can be said for your feelings for Bella. I am pleased that you have come clean to her but still, lying should never have been a counterweight."

I knew he wasn't too happy about hearing what I had just admitted, but I realized it was necessary.

"I didn't mean for everything to blow up in Alaska. I'm still coming to terms with how it went down and it bothers me. I don't like knowing I hurt Tanya- I never wanted to do that but I just couldn't be with her anymore," I said pointedly.

"Tanya will survive this and she will need help, from all of us. Even if she doesn't realize it yet. We are family in a sense, yes. But blood is thicker than water," Carlisle countered gently. I knew I had given him a good deal to chew on.

It couldn't have been a good feeling to know his son was a liar and a cheater in one fell swoop. But I was still punishing myself internally far worse than nearly anything he could say to me.

I had the strange feeling he knew that.

"And everything with Isabella is coming along alright?" Esme asked, giving me a brief respite.

"She hasn't forgiven me but then again, I haven't forgiven me either," I said self deprecatingly. "But I will do what's right."

"You can start by bringing her to dinner," Esme said with a smile.

"Preferably on an English speaking night," Emmett said with a grunt. "Rosie hates it when you all do that shit in front of her."

"You're lying, she loves making you translate every little thing," Alice said with a laugh.

"And by the way, the rule about language still stands at this table and around the rest of the house," Carlisle warned. We had really been getting free with the cussing as of late.

Emmett, Alice and I seemed to nod our understanding in unison.

"We could do an Italian night. Is she Italian, Edward?" It was a logical assumption that my mother had made. Other than my girl's name being Italian for Beautiful, I really had no idea what ethnicity Bella was.

"I really don't know. But let me just clarify something, this would be an Italian dinner not a fully Italian speaking night?" I hunched a brow.

"Then I suggest a weekend night so we are language free," Alice said with an exuberant smile. I noticed her checking the wall clock in the kitchen. Jasper must have been getting close.

Our family had put an end to Latin, Spanish and Japanese nights. Latin had been my father's first choice when we were still young. It was archaic now of course, but useful for him when it came to reinforcing medical terminology and his love for religious manuscript.

Those initial three were our first set of cultural nights and since we were already relatively fluent, we one-by-one voted down each night in favor of something new.

Italian we were still working on. Probably because of Emmett. He hated trying to match the inflections of spoken Italian more by choice than anything else. Its not like we didn't have an entire library of Rosetta Stone language learning courses.

"I'll ask Bella if she would like to come to dinner but first, I should probably speak to her father." I said, feeling a cross between elated and unburdened as I finally started to dig into my plate.

All was going to be right with the world.

As we dug into dinner silently, spoken French forgotten for the sounds of forks against plates, I felt my pocket start to buzz.

Withdrawing my phone from my jean pocket, I checked the time. Already 7:35pm. Where the hell had the night gone?

_I'm going crazy._

Her text message sent a shockwave through me and I cleared my throat involuntarily. Without even thinking about the rule of cell phones at the table, I punched out my response.

_Me too. _I replied to the text by hitting send.

Bella must have been on her way to the reservation for the bonfire.

Suddenly, I wasn't hungry anymore.

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A/N

Thank you to my extraordinary Brits_23 for being awesome, in every way. If you have not had the chance, please visit her Golden-Lemon-Award-Winning-and-gloriously- firm and-beautiful-backside at:

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1849726/

All of my love to my Covenant Sistahas and faithful reviewers- thank you for every kind word through the turbulence. In the last cycle we recieved some love and hate but I keep trudging on, for you.

Next Update approximately 03/02 - 03/09/11.


	30. Try and Understand

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit Wikipedia(dot)com for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

Chapter 28: Try and Understand

~)(~

BPOV

"Looking good, Bells," The solar flares hit me before the words actually registered.

"Oh, this old thing?" I rolled my eyes and Jacob embraced me for a big, sloppy-warm hug. I nearly inhaled his long obsidian hair as the wind blew it into my face.

Jake mumbled something under his breath and as he pulled back from me, he had that scrunch nose look that a dog gets when he smells something that isn't very appealing.

I stepped away from Jacob and my dads' cruiser and did a quick sniff of my heavy jacket. I didn't smell bad or anything but maybe the jacket could use a dry-cleaning or something. Trying to shake off my sudden worry about odoriferous emanations, I watched Charlie lean down to do the man-hand-clasp thing with Billy.

Licking fingers of fire reached up toward the heavens and I could see the outline of orange hues against a black sky. The bonfire was already lit behind Jakes house and I realized I hadn't been here in a _very_ long time.

"Take my hand and follow me, the path is kinda rocky if you don't know how to navigate it." Jakes big hand was held out toward me and I looked up at him, questioningly.

"Well then how did your dad…" I turned to look over at Billy and stopped my sentence short. Charlie jumped on the back of Billys wheelchair, causing the contraption into a wheelie.

Then, like two idiots, Charlie started pushing Billy down the rocky path like two school boys off on a deep-woods adventure.

"Nevermind," I rolled my eyes again and couldn't help but laugh. I took the offered hand and Jake smiled wide and toothy.

"I'm really glad you could make it tonight. I want to introduce you to everyone and then you need to fill me in on this afternoon's phone call." Jake started leading me down the path, nice and slow. He was right, it was rocky as hell.

"I'll give you the run down," I said while trying to make my way in the dark with his help.

"So, I take it Cullen is back in town?" Jake said quietly as we navigated.

"How could you tell?" I questioned, a little confused as how he might have known.

"You smell like him. Well, I am guessing its him anyway," Jake's tone was neutral but still, I was kind of surprised by his ability to sniff Edward on my skin even after I had taken a shower.

But then again, how odd was it really? Edward had a certain kind of scent that seemed to appeal to every part of me, especially my girly-parts. Sun. Sand. Freshly cured leather.

Just thinking about it made me lose my footing and land into Jacob's broad back. With an oomph, I righted myself and gave a breathy apology for being so clumsy and distracted.

I really hoped he couldn't tell I was blushing. My face felt like it was on fire and just thinking of Edward made my ache seem all the stronger. What I wouldn't give to be in a place like this with Edward….

"The caveman returns and who is he dragging behind him, eh?" A tall and lanky guy asked as Jacob and I approached the fire. It looked like the entire Reservation had turned out. All I could see where silhouetted bodies against the orange glow.

"Could this be the infamous Bella Swan that Jake hasn't shut up about, yet?" another boy answered.

"Disregard these two idiots," Jake said, looking down at my hand as I wiggled it out of his grip. We were on solid ground and I wasn't too sure I liked the fact that Jake was apparently talking up a storm about me.

He knew how I felt about Edward and I suddenly had a worry that he might take my friendship for something more if I wasn't careful. But, Jake promised he would be my friend and wouldn't push that issue.

Could I trust that?

"Hi," I mumbled and waved meekly.

"Bella, these are my best friends, Quil and Embry," Jake said with a slight growl in his voice.

"I'm also his cousin," Quil said with a brilliant smile.

I nodded not having much else to say. I could make out the sound of Charlie laughing in the background with a group of people around him. We hadn't been here ten minutes and already my dad seemed right at home.

"Come on Bells, let me make the rounds of introductions so we can get this party started and make you feel right at home," Jake said with a smile and offered me his hand again.

I took it, for the comfort factor alone. Not just the solar flare kind but I felt really out of place not knowing anyone but Jake and Billy at this entire gathering.

After a few minutes I had met so many people I couldn't keep names and faces straight. I was introduced to Sam Uley and Emily, Collin and Brady, Jared and Paul and a host of people I wouldn't remember if they introduced themselves to me again in five minutes.

"Overwhelmed yet?" Jacob asked me as I tried to find my bearings. I still felt uncomfortable but I was at least glad for those familiar solar flares to be my guiding force in this awkward situation.

"No, no…I'm fine," I lied.

"You're a shitty liar, Bells. Come on, let's go sit down and get away for a few. Are you hungry? Did you eat? Do you want something to drink? I think we have coffee and hot chocolate and soda…" Jake rambled on a mile a minute as he led me just a little out of the way of the fire.

I missed the heat instantly. I didn't think I would ever get used to the colder universe known as Forks, Washington.

"So, what's the deal with Cullen coming home early?" Jake led me to a rickety old picnic table. I practically fell over as I tried to straddle it and the wood gave an audible creek as he sat down opposite of me.

"Something about getting tossed out of Alaska which contradicts the story I heard from Jessica about how loving and supportive he was while he was with Tanya." I wasn't sure why but I swore I could taste stomach acid in the back of my throat.

_Wait, I remember why_. The idea of Edward with anyone else made me want to release the contents of my gut all over the immediate area. I wouldn't lie to myself in saying for a hot minute, I really was wondering if Edward and Tanya had made up….especially with stories like Jessica's flitting through my mind.

"You think he's playing you, Bells?" Jakes face was a dark mask in the night. With his back to the fire I couldn't see much more than the movement of his lips and the glassiness of his eyes switching between me and the table.

"I don't know. I mean he wants to take me out on a nice official date, but that involves dealing with Charlie and my own insanity. I don't know which one will be easier to duke it out with," I grumbled, huddling a little closer into my jacket.

"There's so much wrong with that sentence I'm not sure where to begin," Jacob said with an exasperated sigh. He really could be a drama queen when he wanted to be. Oddly enough, I really found it funny and kind of self-deprecatingly relieving.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, lets start here: why doesn't Charlie like him?" Jake asked and his question seemed earnest enough.

"I know Charlie likes Edward's father, Dr. Cullen….but I think I heard my dad mention something about reckless driving and cop stuff - I mean nothing heinous like murder or knocking over a bank, but maybe more of a generality. Think about it Jake, Edward is…probably the most gorgeous guy on the planet, maybe it's a fatherly protective thing?"

"Sure sure," Jake said in a voice so low it sounded like someone had just kicked all the air out of his lungs. "I mean it makes sense right, if Edward is the most gorgeous guy in the world…or the planet or even the damn universe."

There it was. Jealousy. _Shit._

"Jake, you promised," I said in a half whine. Jacob did promise. He swore he would be here for me as my friend. _Please let us not be going down this path…._

"I did, didn't I, Bells?" Jake shook his head and I could see his long hair dancing against the fire and wind. "I guess I have to say this and get it out of my system now. Just hear me out."

_Holy shit. Here it comes. _

"Jake, don't…"

"Bella, I have to." He took a deep breath and I readied myself for what was about to come.

I wanted nothing more than to cover my ears with my palms and hum a random song just to drown out the inevitable.

"Your father loves me, almost like a son on account of how close he and my dad are. I mean, he would never give you these problems if you fell in for a guy like me….and Bella…I would treat you like a lady. I wouldn't do things backwards with you like have you in my bed and then take you out on a date after it; like some kind of second thought," Jake said in a fast breath and I could see him playing with his fingers on the table as he spoke. "I wouldn't go out with someone and cheat on you or anything like it. I know you're all into Cullen but let me just say, I would treat you better. I know I would."

I was a crosshair between infuriated and hurt. He promised me he wouldn't do this, that he wouldn't feel this way. Standing up, I drew my wobbly leg out from the straddle on the inside of the picnic table. This conversation was over. Finished. If I had to lose Jacob's friendship over it, I guess would have to deal with that.

"Bella, wait." Jake grabbed my hand gently but with enough force to make me face him. "I know I'm not your choice but that doesn't mean I can stop feeling the way I do. I promised you I would be your friend - do the same for me and just take my words as they are."

"This changes everything, Jake," I said with a shaking voice. His warm hand remained clasped on my forearm. I could feel the heat of his skin burning me through my jacket.

"It doesn't have to, Bells. I'm not crossing any lines, I'm just being honest with you, and if I didn't get this out now then I would be breaking my promise. I'd be lying to you and that isn't being a good friend."

"Neither is expressing romantic feelings for your friend when she doesn't return them!" I blasted and I could hear my voice bounce back to me over the full blown bonfire shindig occurring behind us both.

"Oh, someone got shot down," I heard a riotous laugh near to the table but moving, fast.

"That's not a shoot down, that's an A-bomb," another voice returned. I recognized them now as Quil and Embry.

"Don't pay attention to those clowns, I'll deal with them later," Jake growled and I took the opportunity to remove my arm from his grip. In a split second, I was away from the picnic table and ready to find Charlie and tell him I wanted to go home.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and realized it was off. Flipping it on, I started walking but I could hear Jacob coming up behind me.

"Bella, wait," he begged and I went rigid, taking in a deep cold breath and holding it.

"Jake, just leave me alone - I don't have anything to say to you right now, or maybe ever." I was being hurtful. But I was just returning the favor.

"Stop, seriously," Jake howled and just like that he was in front of me and I felt his hands on my shoulders. "I'm not asking you to feel the way I do, I just needed you to know. I made a promise Bells - and I wont break that promise. I'm here and I'm your friend…."

"I just don't know if I can trust this or anything you say if you feel this way. How do I just ignore that and go on like nothing was ever said? How do I trust that it won't get in the way of being friends?" I asked with a heavy sigh. I stepped back from the feel of his hands on my shoulders and tried to follow the glittering of his eyes and face, now illuminated in orange as he faced the fire.

To his credit, Jacob looked like he was in pain. And it simultaneously broke my heart and empowered my anger for him bringing this up in the first place.

I could have gone on, happily, having never heard the words that came out of his mouth.

"I'll keep my promise Bells- but you had to know, alright?"

"More like _you _had to know, if there was even a shot in hell. There isn't Jake, I chose Edward and I will 100 times over," I said with enough conviction to surprise myself. I guess I hadn't realized that my feelings, if tested, would be this strong.

They were.

"Well then I guess I'll have to settle for that and wait it out to 101," He said with a toothy smile and in that instance the solar flares baked over me, hotter than the bonfire at my back….

….and I laughed.

"Fat chance, Jacob Black," I finally croaked out when I caught my breath from laughing.

"A fat chance is better than none. Now, come on and sit back down, you need to tell me about what is going on with you and Edward."

I shook my head, still weary but willing and hoping that if I just pushed it all to the back of my brain I could move on from this revelation. Just as I sat down at our picnic table, I heard the ancient cell phone buried in my pocket beep.

My fingers shook as I pulled contraption into my view and I could see I had a new message. It had to be from Edward. It just had to be. My fingers were shaking as I pushed all the right buttons to read it. Nothing came up. The screen wouldn't change.

"What the hell?" I hissed in frustration. The antenna signal at the top right corner of my phone had an obnoxious X through it.

"This is a dead zone, Bells- there hasn't been a cell phone invented that can penetrate these woods…." Jake said as I punched keys randomly and frantically.

"Shit," I cursed.

This wasn't a good sign that the night was going to get any better, anytime soon.

~)(~

EPOV

"Come on Bro, eyes on the fucking game," Emmett growled, wrestling with his controller and elbowing me hard in the damn side. It was no accident, I knew better than that.

"Jesus-H-Christ, Emm, get your shit under control," I growled, glaring at my Crackberry on the coffee table in front of me. It was after 9pm and still no text or call from Bella.

I was getting anxious but I wasn't the only one. And it had nothing to do with the newest version of Halo for the Xbox my brother and I were both occupying our time with in the family room.

"Language," Carlisle reminded, looking over the edge of the book he held to glower at both Emm and I. He hated cussing in general but in the house, it was a bone of contention.

"You know there's no cell service down on the Reservation, so stop looking for a call that ain't coming," Emm leaned on the edge of the couch, narrowing his eyes as he mashed buttons to snipe aliens on the big screen.

"Shut up," I growled at the logic and stood up, trying to focus myself on the game at hand. Instead, all I could do was stare at my Crackberry and will the damn thing to life.

I could hear a car pulling up the driveway and I instantly turned my attention there, giving Emmett a heart attack as I died on the split screen yet again.

"Jesus Christ, Edward!" Emmett yelled and dropped the controller. He was about ready to commence something aggressive when Alice came bounding down the stairs.

"Jasper and Rose are here," She chirped in excitement. Since our family conversation took longer than expected and Jasper was running behind schedule from his last class, Alice had called and asked if he wouldn't mind stopping to get Rosalie on the way down from Seattle.

Emmett had been on edge ever since that conversation. But now, the angst was gone and in place of aggression, my brother's grimace turned into a smile from ear to ear.

"Oh hell yes." He fist pumped and jumped over the game controller leads to race to the door like a dog that had to take a shit.

I paused the game and scrubbed my hands over my face. When the front door opened I heard Alice squeal in delight and in my peripheral I could see her jump into the awaiting arms of her main squeeze.

Ever the bear, Emmett grabbed Rosalie up off of her feet and I had to turn my attention away from all that tension that built up before the door was even closed.

Again I stared at my Crackberry and Carlisle set down his book and snatched up the game controller Emmett had hastily abandoned.

"Prepare for the Epicness," My father said with a smile and I could do nothing but shake my head and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Don't start with the gamer speak dad, it doesn't suit you," I sighed all pissy-like.

"You think your old man can't pwn, son?" Carlisle started to roll a sleeve up with a crooked smile. Truth be told, he was better than average with a controller but definitely not to the level Emmett and I were at.

"I don't feel much like playing," I grumbled and stuffed my hands in my pockets, still glaring at my phone. I felt like pacing but I knew that would only drive everyone around me crazy.

"I'll go a round with you Carlisle," Esme said from the opposite end of the couch, holding her hand out to be outfitted with my abandoned controller.

Jasper and Alice must have finished their grope fest because the two of them came around and into the family room just as my parents were getting prepared to get their gaming on.

"Mom, Dad- have no fear your real son is finally here," Jasper smiled and dripped his charming southern drawl all over the room. He and Alice had been together long enough now that he was like another brother.

"Oh please, everyone knows I'm the favorite," Rosalie chimed in, sneaking around the corner with Emmett bear hugging her from behind.

"Yes you are," Emm yoked Rose back against him tighter and both she and I rolled our eyes in unison.

After a moment of comfortable small talk and a brotherly hand clasp-slap-the-back with me, Jasper and Alice disappeared with Rose and Emmett not far behind them.

With my parents embroiled in a wicked round of Halo, I picked up my Crackberry and sent yet another text to Bella as I walked.

I was sure what Emmett had said about the signal strength at the Reservation was true, but I just couldn't get the thought of Jacob and Bella walking around a bonfire together out of my head. _If that son of a bitch so much as touches my girl….._

Fuck, I was jealous. And getting increasingly pissed off.

I tried deep breathing while I paced but that was doing nothing but making me light-headed. I flipped my Crackberry open four times in as many minutes and watched the clock on the display tick up to 9:30pm.

Avoiding the bedroom areas, I took a few laps around the house, tugging at my hair in frustration. Finally wearing myself out, I sat down at the bench of the piano in the formal living room and stared blankly at the ebony and ivory keys.

Sitting my phone up on the sheet music stand, I continued to stare at the dimming display and ghosted my fingers just above the keys, wondering if I still had it in me to play.

Then, like every minute of every day since I had met her, I started to think of Bella. The shape of her eyes and the slope of her nose…the cupids bow of her top lip to the curves of her breasts and the weight of them in my palms, I consumed myself with this stealthy cat girl that utterly fucking consumed me.

And just like that I was playing. My fingers worked a symphony of notes that wrapped around the image of my girl, my Bella. Sweet and deep, the music flowed out of me and all over her imaginary form and I finally felt like I could breathe again.

Fuck, I couldn't stop my fingers from moving. A few notes became a concerto complete in three parts with an orchestra in my own mind. I was the instrument but Bella, my Bella was the muse….the music, the notes.

I hadn't realized when I had stopped playing until I heard the sound of my mother's voice and her hands clapping together behind me. Truth be told, I had no fucking idea my playing had attracted an audience.

I opened my eyes for the first time in I wasn't sure how long and flexed my fingers back to life.

"It's been a long time, Edward," Carlisle said, and I could hear the pride in his voice. "That was a beautiful, original composition."

"It probably sounded better in my head, with an orchestra," I shrugged and glanced down at the keys.

"It was beautiful and even though I have yet to meet her, that sounded very much like Bella," Esme said with a smile.

"Thanks," I said, a little embarrassed and momentarily distracted. That was until I looked up and saw the display on the Crackberry. 10:30pm and still no word from Bella.

My flexing fingers formed into a fist and I grit my fucking teeth as the I glared at the display before me.

I knew what I had to do…and just how fucking irrational I was about to become.

Pushing the bench back as I rose up from the piano, I grabbed my Crackberry off the sheet music stand and glanced over at my parents, looking tired but still beaming from my impromptu performance.

"Your father and I are going to go to bed Edward, it's been a long few days. You might want to consider doing the same," Esme said with a tired smile.

"Yeah Mom, I'll head to bed in a bit," I said, mustering my best smile. I had no intentions of calling it a night, not yet at least….

"Goodnight, Son." Carlisle patted me on the shoulder and placed his arm around my mother, drawing her out of the formal living room.

I listened for them to head up the stairs. Starting to pace again, I gave myself a half an hour before I would drive down to the Reservation and find Bella myself.

I was like a man possessed. This was a stupid-ass plan. What the hell was I going to say to Bella and her father when I crashed a party I wasn't even invited to?

I'd figure that out later. Right now, none of the details really mattered to me. Only one thing did and of course, it was Bella.

~)(~

I sat in my car in the dark hidden by a line of trees like a fucking stalker.

My intention had been to park and navigate through the woods, until I found the party and obviously, Bella.

Some where inside of my own head I knew this was fucking crazy. What did I think Jacob was doing with my girl and why was I consumed with this sudden and intense jealousy?

_He's just a friend, _I could hear Bella saying. Over and over again in my head her words echoed back at me.

Maybe that was the phrase that pissed me off the most. No guy was _just a friend _with a girl. Giving someone a title like that just meant the wool had been pulled over my girls' eyes to see Jacob as some kind of non threatening entity whose sole purpose in life was to be her security blanket.

Guys didn't work that way. If we weren't fucking the girl in question we were thinking about it, every time we looked at her. And even if a guy didn't make a move right away, he was biding his time and planning on it.

I didn't know Jacob and I didn't really care to ever get to know the guy. He was a wolf in sheep's clothing and even if Bella couldn't see through him, I sure as hell could.

Apparently my little internal philosophy had pumped me up because my hands were shaking and I had a sudden desire to punch the shit out of something or someone. Without a plan I started to yank the keys out of the ignition when the phone in my pocket started to vibrate.

What the fuck?

With a growl escaping my mouth, I ripped the phone out of my pocket. There might have been no reception in the depth of the Reservation but out here on the road, I seemed to have plenty.

I growled to myself, already God-damn irritated and I hadn't even picked up the phone.

Fucking Alice.

"What?" I barked, not really giving a shit how much of a dick I sounded like. I had shit to do and this was just a distraction.

"If you go rampaging in there you'll never be allowed to see Bella anywhere but school again," she said in a groggy but stern voice.

"What the fuck are you babbling about?" It dawned on me in a flash that Alice didn't ask where I was or what I was doing, she already knew. My twin must have had one of her dream-visions.

"Your stalker-ass is going to get both you and Bella into a world of trouble," Alice replied, stifling a yawn. I could hear Jasper behind her, grumbling.

"You have no fucking idea what I'm going through, Alice. I don't have a choice," I snarled into the phone, feeling the plastic and metal hiss under the sudden force of my enclosing fingers.

"You do, Edward. And it will present itself soon enough." With those last words, the phone went dead on the other end and I was left with a dead space droning in my ear.

I threw my Crackberry on the passenger seat and punched my hands into the steering wheel. Repeatedly. I might have screamed in angst and frustration, I couldn't fucking tell anymore.

Fifteen minutes passed. My twin had to be full of shit. She was stalling me. There was no reason to be sitting here fucking waiting.

And just when I was ready to once more rampage out the fucking door and into the woods like some stalker-ass-derelict, I saw the bright gleam of headlights turning onto the main road a few hundred feet away.

And another set after that.

And even more after the last.

The party must have been over.

Whipping my hand around the passenger seat headrest, I turned to watch each of the line of cars go by. Until I found a police cruiser turning onto La Push Road/Ocean Drive and the faint gleam of my girl in the cruiser with her head down.

I took a deep breath, my hands shaking with adrenaline, and gave a fast pause before backing out to be the last in the line of cars leaving the Reservation. I knew the route well enough, 13 miles until the turn off to 101. I would keep my distance but I wouldn't be thwarted.

What the hell was I doing following the Chief of Police to his house….and what the hell was I going to do when they turned down the roads to go to their house?

Who the fuck knows, that's what. I'd have to deal with that when I got there.

My inner voice was screaming at me to just keep on the road and go home before my parents woke up and found out I had left. I was already functioning on virtually no sleep and it was obvious, even to myself, that I wasn't thinking straight.

No. I had to play this out to the end.

To what end? Who the hell knew.

I needed her. My girl. My Bella. And not even Charlie was going to stop me from getting to her.

~)(~

BPOV

_Me too._

_Everything alright?_

_Bella, are you still at the bonfire?_

_I'm getting a little frantic here. Where the fuck are you?_

The four text messages from Edward were increasingly frantic. I chewed my lip as I replied to the last one, hoping he would receive it before going to bed. After the night I'd had, the last thing I needed was to wonder if Edward was upset or irritated because I had spent the evening with Jacob.

He was right, of course. Edward that is. He had been right all along that Jacob really did seem to want to be more than my friend. I only hoped I had squashed that bug before it metamorphosed into something way more dangerous. I believed Jake when he said he would be content to be my friend but still, I knew what lurked behind it all.

What would I tell Edward?

I chewed my lip, using my fingertip to push it against my gnashing teeth as I kept my eyes fixated on the screen of my cell phone. I willed Edward to respond, to be awake and alright and not uncomfortable about the fact I had no service to respond to his text messages all night.

"Have a good time tonight, kiddo?" Charlie asked with his eyes on the road. "You and Jacob looked all chummy,"

"Don't be so hopeful," I grumbled under my breath and I could see my father frown from the corner of my eye.

"I'm not deaf or stupid, Bells," he responded, leaning up to adjust the rear view mirror from the bright beams a short distance back as we turned onto one-oh-one.

"Huh?" I tried to pay dumb.

"And neither are you. Look, I just think you and Jacob make a good looking two-some," Charlie said in his fatherly-defensive voice. "I wont try to push him on you."

"You would be the only one tonight," I sighed.

"What?" Charlie's dark brows knotted together.

"Apparently Jacob feels something for me that I don't feel for him, alright?" My reply was an equal part of daughterly defensive.

"Did he do something he shouldn't have, Bells?" he said like a Cop interrogating a witness. I shrank deeper into my jacket and kept my eyes on my cell phone.

"No Dad, he was fine even when I told him I wasn't interested," I said with a heavy sigh. I was concentrating on the conversation but still, I was getting frustrated that Edward hadn't responded to my text message yet.

I could only imagine how he felt all night long.

Charlie adjusted the rear view mirror one more time as the bright halogen beams behind him, though distant, were still potent. "Just remember Bells, its your choice who you date, if you ever decide to date - don't let anyone pressure you, even Jacob."

"Alright, Dad." Seemed like a no-brainer to me but still, I knew Charlie had to get it out.

"Besides, none of these local yahoos are good enough you. That includes Jacob if he puts any pressure on you," My father's litany was probably more for his benefit than my own.

I listened quietly as Charlie turned off of the main road toward the house. Those halogens behind us backed off but I noticed, in the side view mirror that they followed us, still.

Under the street lamp, I caught the glint of silver body trim on the car and the wild hair of the driver behind us.

Edward.

I sat up in my seat, fighting the urge to whip my head around to look out of the back window and give it all away.

It was Edward. It had to be.

Oh my God, what was he doing here? Why was he following us?

Wait, had he just come from the Reservation? Those same headlights had been with us since one-oh-one.

I was holding my breath and watching the side mirror like it was about to attack me. When we pulled onto our street, the silver car took a different route. All the while Charlie was still talking, and yet I hadn't heard a word.

Was I wrong about the car following us?

"So, you understand what I mean, Bells?" Charlie said, putting the cruiser in park. Turning the ignition off, I could feel his eyes on me and I knew he was waiting for an answer.

"Yeah Dad, I do," I nodded like an idiot. I hadn't heard a word he had said and I could feel his eyes boring into me, ready to peel through my disguise.

I pulled out the only ace I had up my sleeve when it came to Charlie. The daughter card.

"Thank you, for looking out for me," I said and I meant it, that wasn't a lie. Whatever Charlie had said, I was certain it was for my best interest from his perspective. With that, I unbuckled my seat belt and leaned in to kiss my father's cheek.

He melted like butter, the way all fathers do when they have the adoration of their daughters.

"Yeah yeah, " Charlie said as he opened the door, a goofy smile plastered on his face. "It's late, head to bed and I'll be up after Sports Center."

ESPN. My saving grace.

I tore up to my room, stopping on the landing to say goodnight. I tripped up the last few steps onto the landing and ran into my bedroom, closing my door behind me and trying to catch my breath.

My jacket was off of me like it was on fire and I grabbed my cell phone, starting to text furiously when a message beeped through as mine was sent.

_Open the window, I'm coming up._

It was Edward.

Oh. My. God.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N

Thank you to the most glorious and blissful Brits_23 for being the most understanding and incredible Beta-Director-Sistah a girl could ask for. If you have not had the chance, please visit her Golden-Lemon-Award-Winning-and-gloriously- firm and-beautiful-backside at:

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1849726/

All of my love to my Covenant Sistahas and faithful reviewers- Thank you for understanding the difficult time I have had to endure in Real Life. I will try to return to my normal posting schedule but I ask you to indulge me if I have difficulty with adjustment after this trauma.

Next Update approximately 05/04 - 05/11/11.

Happy Passover, Happy Easter, Happy Beltane.

Still with the Snarlie? Holla...


	31. Clear the Air

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

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Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

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Thank you!

See me below for Authors Note!

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Chapter 29: Clear the Air

~)(~

BPOV

_Open the window, I'm coming up._

I read the text message three times, standing like a directionless idiot in the middle of my bedroom. I lost all cognitive sensation and was about one shade removed from drooling in place.

_What the hell was I waiting for? _

Like a shot streaming out of a starter gun, I raced to the window and nearly drove myself right into the ledge as I threw it open. Stepping back like the entire edifice might burst into flame, I just stood there….shaking.

Sun. Sand. Musk.

I caught his scent before I could see him as the night stretched out in yawning darkness outside of my window.

_Oh my god. What were we doing? _Charlie was right downstairs and ESPN wouldn't hold out for long!

I chewed my nail, finding it hard to get a good grip on the jagged surface with my fingers shaking against my lips. And that was when I saw the shock of wild, dark tendrils moving ever closer until nearly glowing green eyes were on me.

Edward braced one hand on the edge of my window, setting his other on the ledge. I moved forward to help him and turned my eyes over my shoulders, petrified Charlie could hear even the most soundless of movements from the first floor of the house.

"Edward let me…" I started, whispering and offering my hand toward him, desperate to steady him and get him into the full confines of my bedroom.

"Bella, no. Step back," he said quietly and I realized he knew Charlie was obviously home and dangerously in earshot of any loud or sudden noises. He was being careful.

Without much effort he traversed the ledge of my window and drew up before me to his full height. All the while, I stood there dumbfounded and paranoid like some kind of fiend about to score a hit of an illicit and illegal substance.

"This is crazy, Edward. What are you doing here?" I whispered still unmoving, terrified that if I took even one step forward Edward and I would collapse into each other and lose what little control we had.

"I had to see you, I had to know you were okay." His eyes were fixed on me, warring between glowering and relieved. I could see his nostrils flare and I knew if his senses were as acute as Jacob's, he could tell just how close Jake had been to me.

I felt like an envelope carrying some kind of secret message between two adversaries. And yet, while Jake and Edward don't know one another, signals were still deemed hostile between them both.

I don't think I will ever understand men. Or maybe it's just these two. Are all guys like this or did I just attract psychotics?

"I'm fine, Edward. Charlie is downstairs…" I glanced over my shoulder and chewed the edge of my lip quickly, my words hushed and panicked. "You can't stay up here, you have to go!"

"I'll go when I'm ready." he growled his words, sounding determined to grab me and ease our desperation, His brow raised and when he took a step toward me and pulled me in against his body, I could have died and gone to heaven or hell in our case.

"I was out of my fucking skull without you tonight." His breath was warm and moist as it slid across my lips, making me thirst and ache to drown in his nearness.

His hands encircled me demandingly, the heat of his palm pressing the small of my back as the other hand wound into my hair. I could feel him trembling, matching my own, desire and need quiver for quake.

"You were all I could think about," I whispered and when I parted my lips, I tasted him, the warm wet heat of his mouth claiming my own.

I moaned against him, my palms flat on his chest. My fingers flexed between gripping his jacket and pushing him back, mesmerized and confused by the hot swirl of his tongue.

The edge of his teeth drug against my lower lip and I all but melted against him, pressuring my thighs together to seek out some kind of relief.

A hard inhale and Edward pressed me tighter into his body. Oh god, I knew where this was going to lead….

"Edward. Stop," I whimpered, forcing my eyes to open, forcing my lips to pull away.

"Bella," he groaned as though in pain. I gasped for breath and forced myself to step back, disentangling my body from the intoxicant that was Edward Cullen.

He was so hard I was afraid it would break, bound as it was in his jeans like that.

"Edward we have to be careful, Charlie will be up here any minute to say goodnight. If he found you in here, I swear I don't know what he would do." The fear in my eyes must have struck something in Edward. I saw him try to compose himself, shifting his hardness with his hand and pinching the bridge of his nose with the opposite one.

"You're right, Bella. I _am _trying to control myself. You certainly don't make it easy," he sniggered, running the tip of his tongue over his lips like he was savoring the taste of something sweet. "There is going to be a time when even Charlie Swan can't stop me….the clock is ticking Bella, we need to figure _that _out."

Chills shot down my spine at the meaning behind his words. Telling Charlie? Was he serious? "I can't even think of that right now, Edward."

I forced myself to look away from him, just for a moment to catch my breath. I hadn't _really_ sat down yet and thought about telling Charlie. And somehow I knew Edward could see right through this, right through me, and I instantly felt my heart sink.

This wasn't about Edward, it was just about bad timing.

"We are going to have to tell Charlie at some point, Isabella." I wasnt positive but I might have actually seen him flinch, as though my words had physically struck him.

"Edward, please..." The supplicating tone in my voice begged him to please let it go for the moment.

"What happened tonight at the reservation, with Jacob?" Edward's eyes were glowering again, the cadence of his voice changed.

"We don't have time for this right now," I stammered quietly, looking over my shoulder to the door once again. I wasn't sure what I would or should tell Edward. I mean there wasn't much really, except that nasty business of Jacob declaring his adoration for me.

I was pretty sure if I had to live by the same measure of the truth I demanded from Edward, I would have to do what was right and tell him the truth as well. Somehow though, I knew if I spilled it all out right here, Edward would make enough ruckus to bring Charlie into my bedroom with a loaded gun and a _shoot first ask questions later _mentality.

Edward drew his cell phone out of his pocket and then returned his still glowering eyes to me. "If your dad watches sports center, I've got about five minutes before he starts coming up here."

That wasn't nearly enough time. _Shit!_

"We can talk tomorrow if Charlie lets me go to the game. I can meet you after." I pulled the edge of my lip in against my teeth, wringing my hands together in both panic and distraction. It was everything I could do to avoid reaching out for Edward and grabbing molding him into me.

"We can talk now," Edward demanded and his voice slid above a whisper.

"If you want me to tell you about the Rez and Jacob then you still have some explaining to do about getting kicked out of Alaska." I don't know where my newfound nerve was coming from. Even assaulted by sun and sand and musk, I was starting to become emboldened by my need to get some answers.

"You're right, I do." Edward actually conceded and his eyes softened. "But this can't wait until tomorrow."

"It's already almost tomorrow, Edward," I reminded him, a little nerve wracked about the rest of the unfolding evening.

"Then we best get moving." That panty melting, arrogant smile slid over his lips and he turned, moving toward the window.

"Edward…" I started, taking a step toward him.

"I'll meet you outside, Isabella. If you want some answers like I want some answers, then I guess the next move is on you." The way his mouth wound around my name, I was sure I would leave a puddle of pure desire on the floor. I hated it when someone called me by my given name and yet the way he said it, reverently and commandingly, I was nearly out of my skin with need.

Edward inhaled deeply and braced his hand on the jamb of the window. "Fuck," he groaned under his breath, but I heard him as loud as a car crash in my own back yard.

I knew he could smell me. And that only turned me on even more.

"How…" I started but was instantly silenced with a look from those darkening jade eyes.

"Find a way," he hissed, and without another word I watched him crawl up onto my window ledge like a lithe bird of prey and start to descend into the darkness.

~~)(~~

EPOV

The scent of her set me on fire and reduced me to ashes all in a split second. I could barely crawl out of her window without every muscle protesting to turn around and bend her over, open and wide for me to pleasure.

I'm sure that would have gone over great with her old man.

As I shimmied down the tree from her window, I was assaulted with something more than desire. I guess you could call it pride. Hubris. Maybe even aggravation.

I declared, non-too subtly, my intention to end this charade of going behind Charlie's back. My father, Carlisle, had struck a chord in me when it came to proper courtship and I intended to do the right thing with Bella, maybe for the very first time.

This included declaring myself to her dad.

He had a right to know my intentions, even if it was an edited non-pornographic version. I was brought up with better breeding than sneaking around like a mutt at her doorstep.

Even if I hadn't fucking shown it until now.

In my hastily laid plans, I hadn't anticipated Bella's reaction. I wanted to make _us _known, to Charlie and then the world and damn to hell anyone who would try to stop me.

I was done playing hide and seek, cat and mouse and cops and robbers; hell, any game that made Bella and I hide who we were to each other. It was Goddamn time to start putting childish things away.

_This had to be hard for Bella, _I realized as I brushed myself off from the tree climb, my feet back on solid earth. It would be equally hard for Charlie, I was sure.

Let me tell you, in some twisted world where Bella was my daughter? I'd lock her away till she was a withered old bag, too afraid that some guy just like ME would come sniffing around her.

And that was the very reason I had to do this shit right. Show him just how all-important his daughter had become to me and would always remain, if I had my way of it.

Bella deserved me to be a gentleman. I was pretty damn sure Charlie would demand it.

_Fuck if I wasn't angsty as hell_. And turning into a pussy all at the same time.

But obviously when it came to Bella, it was for all the right reasons.

Pacing outside in the dead shrubs, I could peer into the window of the living room where Charlie sat with a beer in one hand and the remote planted firmly in his lap. I waited for something, anything from Bella.

What the fuck was taking her so long?

What if she decided the risk was not worth the reward?

_Fuck me._ I was starting to realize just how much of a bitch I was when I was tired like this. Tired? No. More like exhausted and drained from Alaska and desire and want and drama and all the uncertainty of leaving Bella the way I had that fateful night.

Not like I fucking had a choice. But then again, I suppose if choice was all it took, Irina might still be alive today.

_Irina. _I still hadn't dealt with that loss. I still hadn't dealt with the damage that really went down in Alaska.

_I was tired. So fucking tired. _But I knew if I threw up my hands now and just went home to my bed and the blackness, I would never be able to sleep. Just like always with Bella, it had to be fast, hard and now. Not only the sex, but the burgeoning emotion behind it all.

I stalked the line of bushes near the window, careful to not disturb a single branch. My hand raked through my hair and I could see my own cold breath illuminated by the light streaming out of the window from the living room.

_What the hell was taking her so…_

Bella slowly moved over beside Charlie, and he must have been so into ESPN Sports Center he never heard her coming. Stealthy cat-girl strikes again.

I stiffened my posture, sliding back to a vantage point that wouldn't give me away if Charlie had looked up or started moving or dancing a damn waltz. My girl had come through and in this single moment I knew Bella had decided I was really worth the risk.

This might have been the first and only choice I had ever given her. And just like I hoped she would, she came through for me, for _us_.

God damn, didn't Bella see just how much better everything would be if Charlie just clasped me on the back, welcoming me into his house so this bullshit could be put behind us? If I made any public show of us, of what we were to each other, it would reach the good Sheriff's ears in less than half a day.

Small towns were just wired like that.

I needed my girl on board with this. It needed to be a fucking priority. But then again, so did all the bullshit we traversed up until this point.

I could see Charlie grumbling something, his arm extended toward the window I was stalking….Bella walking away and grabbing this hideous excuse for a jacket, waving a dog eared book in her hand as she put one arm through the sleeve of this ridiculous monstrosity.

Alice needed to take her shopping. Not because I didn't like my girls' style, but because something so ratty looking should never touch my Bella's skin.

I am a spoiled prick. I know.

Charlie must have finally conceded as he rolled up from his armchair and turned the TV off, tossing the remote onto the chair. I don't know what the hell she said to him, but the light went off in the living room and two bodies were on the move.

The outdoor back porch light came on and I knelt down low, using the house to brace my shoulder and keep my shadow out of sight.

I heard the kitchen door open as voices followed, flooding through the night.

"Dad, I'm fine. Really," Bella protested, making heavy-footed movements on the old wood.

"It's your skin and my insurance if you catch your death out there," Charlie grumbled. I could hear the concern and love in his voice.

"It's not like I'm going off anywhere. I just need some air, a change from these four walls, you know _restriction _and all." She was being snide. I don't think I have ever heard her being snide before. She could be just like a kitten with sharp claws, so damn cute you really don't take them seriously.

Till you're bleeding, of course.

"Yeah 'cause you've been on restriction for so long now," Charlie mocked and I could tell it was lighthearted.

"I used to do this all the time in Arizona, " she countered, completely failing to take in her father's lighthearted tone.

"Arizona doesn't drop below zero temps, Bells," Charlie chuckled. "Look, a half hour at max, no more. Do I need to set my alarm or sit out here and keep you some company so you don't end up falling asleep on the porch and become some kind of ice-cube?"

"Dad," she used a warning tone. It was heady and delightful and gave me some sick insta-fantasies of Bella taking control. Yeah, I'd lick her boots. But only once, I'm a little too…dominant for that shit.

"Half hour, Kiddo. And don't give me that I'm 'almost eighteen and I can take care of myself look.' I was almost eighteen once myself," Charlie countered brilliantly.

All in all, Charlie might well be pretty damn cool.

"Yeah like a million years ago." I could hear the smile in Bella's voice and I wanted to wrap myself around it like tinsel on a tree.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Charlie snickered and regained a more commanding timbre to his voice. "Half hour."

"Alright," my girl finally conceded and after a few very long seconds, I heard Charlie's footsteps and the door close behind him.

A crisp cold breeze kicked up and I shivered, pressing deeper into my jacket. I listened for Charlie, looking through the living room window where I could finally see the light flick on and his frame moving to the stairs. I waited and the light extinguished when he was no longer in sight.

I came around the side of the house, careful to stay in the shadows, taking a few long seconds to observe the wondrous beauty of Bella beneath the barely illuminated porch light. Huddled in her jacket, an old dog-eared book in her grip and the wind moving softly through her hair.

_Yeah. Just yeah…_

"Are you there?" She said quietly without looking up to check my proximity.

"Like I would be anywhere else." I meant it when I said it and I think she could hear something different in my tone because I saw her sideways-smile and brush her hair back behind her ear.

"You _could _still be in Alaska," Bella said without any candor and I knew she wanted me to spill the beans.

"You're right, I could be, but I'm not." I inched closer, still in the shadows and watching as Bella turned her position Indian style on the wood porch, facing me under the light with her book held open like a prop.

I knew this was as close as I was going to get to her and my fingers itched and body hitched with overwhelming desire to be beside her. And inside of her.

"So, what happened?" She asked calmly, looking out into the darkness where I hovered, too worried that if I were to step into the light I would expose myself.

_Fucking metaphysical, isn't it?_

"Complications," I snickered and when Bella turned her eyes toward my proximity looking none too pleased with my choice of words, I cleared my throat lightly.

I started again. "Complications of the most unexpected variety. When I broke it off with Tanya, apparently she didn't get the message."

Bella scrunched her face, not understanding and apparently not liking what I had just said. "How is that possible?"

I could taste her trepidation. I could almost see the questioning and fear rise like bile in the back of her brain. "I broke up with her voicemail, Bella. She wouldn't pick up the phone and the roads were too bad to get to Port…and of course, I was working so that would have screwed my getting here to you and you wanted to talk….so…"

"You broke up with her voicemail?" _Was she gaining ground on me? _For the first several days of our addiction she was only a stalking, insatiable hell cat in the bedroom. Things had changed. Feelings were evolving and from the disapproving sound of my girls' voice, I knew this just hit a touchstone inside of her.

Her voice held more complex connotations in 15 minutes then it had in a week. And I knew I would have to change this approach, I would have to let my guard down if I was going to really let her in.

_Alright, breathe deeper, Cullen. It's now or never._

"I'm not proud of myself but yes, I broke up with her voicemail. I thought she was playing coy because she knew we were supposed to talk that night and she damn well knew something was going on and it wasn't about to be good."

Bella was with me. I could only imagine the asshole I must look to her as, because I sure as hell felt like one.

I wasn't sure if she could see my eyes, but they were flashing neon signs if apology.

"Bella. I'm sorry." I said it in earnest and fucking meant it.

When my eyes met hers in the dark of night, I could see a brief flash of hope as she drank my words in. Sometimes I really wondered why I was the way I was and why it had to manifest it's worst points when it came to my girl.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea when I was so fucking tired. But I knew Bella deserved as much as I could give her in the short time we were granted.

_Fuck, why couldn't we be older and on our own and making our own rules?_

"When I left here and made it home on those shit roads, Tanya and Laurent were already at my house. It was a disaster as you can imagine, and then I found out Tanya had tossed her cell out the window after getting the news about Irina. Ergo, no hearing my voicemail." I dared to take a step closer, my eyes drawn to my girl.

Bella let me continue.

"Long story short, we got to Alaska and of course Tanya is still thinking we are something instead of nothing. I do what I am supposed to do, I mean I'm not a hard hearted asshole most of the time, Bella. I had to compose myself in all the obligatory manners expected of me, but Emm and Alice ran interference the best they could. Laurent did most of the work." I kept my tone neutral. Laurent still had it coming for what he stirred up and what shit he had said about Bella.

_Fate's a bitch and she and I exchange a love of bringing the pain_.

Maybe I should have thanked him for stirring up the hornets' nest with Tanya. Even if things did end shitty, they finally ended. Not that my family and Tanya weren't suffering for it, emotionally.

Goddamn, I really am a selfish asshole.

"Alright," Bella shifted on the porch, re-crossing her legs Indian style. I swear to fuck her estrogen overload actually spoke to me.

"I did nothing more than comfort her, Bella. It never went any further than that. I didn't want to have to break it all to her at the exact moment the preparations were being made to put her sister into the ground," I reminded, just so she understood.

Bella seemed relieved. Her shoulders un-tensed and her eyes started looking for me in the darkness.

I ventured another step forward, one foot on the porch now just taking all of my girl in. Scent, sight, sound and closeness.

_Heavenly._

"Then there were the highlights: my phone call and Jacob picking up the phone," Bella snapped her head up and I gave her the one finger, let me finish motion. "My aching for you, Laurent checking Tanya's voicemails on the phone she inadvertently tossed out the window, which was why she didn't get my message….his revelation to my parents, the shit I had to face with them and questions of why I had to do this _now_," I took a breath from my run on brain train. "Laurent telling all of Tanya's family about the break up before I could rectify it, my scrape with Laurent, the coming clean to my parents about what had led up to this, and finally the decision to spill the beans at that moment, with everyone there to see my ex's breakdown."

I exhaled so deeply, I swore my breath would form a cloud that would do nothing more than shit down rain on me for a month.

"Wait, wait. Scrape with Laurent? Tanya's breakdown?" Bella interjected and I took this moment to inhale the spring-coming night, so rife with all things Bella. I was going to have to find a way to cope with this instant need she wafted through the air that spoke to the very beast inside of me.

"Yeah, I might have thrown Laurent a beating. I was a man on the edge, far away from my girl and wanting all the pretending to be over. He caught the better part of my anger. And no, I'm not sorry about that." I wasn't about to say to her what kicked it off, Laurent talking shit about my girl. She didn't need to know that.

I continued, not forgetting to address her other point of contention. "My parents decided the best thing to do was not to wait, to spill it all to Tanya the night before Irina went into the ground. She wailed like a fucking banshee, threatened to kill herself…it was a fucking mess. But she got the point and for all of that, her family decided my being there was a detriment to her well-being. And my parents weren't leaving me behind on this."

I couldn't help but throw an inside smile. My parents were really fucking amazing. So were my brother and sister. How god damn lucky could one guy be?

Bella still looked like she was with me.

Good.

"So we left this morning, stopped by the funeral home on our way….and that's all of it, Bella." There it was. Demons exorcised.

"So your parents…they know about me now?" She asked in the most gentle voice, rife with indecision.

"They know about you. They know about us. And yeah, they want you to come to dinner." I felt so fucking free of all the bullshit in just that moment. Most incredible feeling I had experienced in a long while, besides being inside of, and on top of or underneath my girl.

Bella swallowed hard. I wasn't sure what she was thinking or weighing in her head but whatever it was, it was visceral.

I let the air flow between us, hopefully clearing out all of the doubt and uncertainty and general stank of our cooperative laundry.

When I couldn't take the silence anymore, I finally sat down on the porch with my back to the house.

"So now, tell me about tonight and Jacob."

~~)(~~

BPOV

"So now, tell me about tonight and Jacob."

I was still processing every nuance Edward had expelled to me and his call to arms was like fingers snapping in a still night. It woke me up and shocked me back to life.

I knew I would still need to ruminate on everything Alaska, Tanya, and Edward's parents knowing about me, us, and still wanting to break bread with me.

_He sure does have a lot of pretty words and all of the answers, doesn't he?_

Shut. Up_._

Now was _not_ the time for my psychosis to show itself. Up to this point I had been uncharacteristically strong and I knew what Edward said was the truth. I could feel it, and other than minutia, he had been on the level with me.

If I was going to trust this, trust whatever we were trying to build, I was going to have to start listening a little less to the voices in my head.

"Before we get onto the Jacob thing, and I am not keeping time and since Charlie gave me a half hour before Storm Trooper Swan shows up, let me say this. Thank you, for being on the level with me," I swallowed hard and looked across that short distance between us.

Edward was being so careful, sitting with his back against the house and respecting the need for distance for both me and for Charlie's impending clock of doom. If this was a spotlight of how amazing he could be, I was feeling hopeful and uneasy for what my own Glasnost would be.

"You're welcome," Edward said, and I could taste the smile and his scent across the meager distance.

I had to stay on point when all I wanted to do at this moment was throw myself on him and wrap every wound we had ever shared with my body as a bandage.

Not to mention his scent torturing me.

Oh god.

_Here goes nothing. And everything._

"So, like you know Jake and I have some history. Prehistoric as it might be, I guess you could say we have reconnected. Grown up. And since I can't go to my only friend in this town, Jessica, about this," I gestured into the space between Edward and I. "He has become my personal Ann Landers."

I smiled just thinking of Jacob.

Solar flares. Comfort. Safety. Concern. Boundaries.

I couldn't make out much expression on Edward's face but I am sure if I could, he would be scowling.

"My story isn't nearly as involved as yours. But let me say, you were right in some respects, Edward. And no, it doesn't change anything, but Jacob does have some feelings for me that are more than friendly or familial. He told me so tonight," I started to speak again but the rage coming off of Edward was a sonic blast so sharp, I swear I felt the porch wood shake.

"Did he fucking touch you?" I heard the growl in his voice and I didn't know if I wanted to ride him or run away from him.

"No. No, he would never," I protested loud enough to make me look up toward the house for any signs of lights flicking on and Charlie awake.

I promptly lowered my voice. "He just wanted me to know. And believe me Jacob knows about…this."

"I'm sure he does, just like I'm sure he told you to get the hell out while you can," Edward growled again and all of his energy shot me in between the legs until I had to bite back a moan. Seriously, there had to be something wrong with me.

"What he told me was to be careful," I omitted some info on that one. _Was omission a lie? _I thought I remembered using that against Edward at some point but really, was it?

Oh my god, I was nervous. Shaking. And now the shoe was on the other foot, proverbially.

"And _are _you being careful?" I could hear the seething in his voice.

I couldn't take it anymore. All of this knowledge, all of these declarations and truths. I had to reaffirm. I had to taste it.

On hands and knees and splinters be damned, I crawled that short distance to where Edward sat with his back against the house and slid over his lap, letting his fingers twine through my own.

"I need to be careful Edward. Things are broken inside of me, inside of you. I know that and I have to deal with that," I said all in one breath, afraid that if I stopped to taste the scent of him I would be lost forever.

And the moment I breathed in, I was.

"Fuck, I have to deal with it too." He groaned against me, his hands gripping my hips and pressing me down so deep into his lap, I could feel him through my jeans.

My hair fell all around us, shielding us for a moment from the outside world, the cold that was seeping into my bones and the truth that lay untried between us.

"We can deal with it together," I exhaled sharply as I felt his hands guide me harder against the aching hardness bound in his jeans. "Oh god."

"Bella. Fuck." Edward raised one hand off of my hip and into my hair, fisting the length and dragging me hard against him.

I could have finished right there, in that touch and grab and pull and push.

"Edward," I whimpered, realizing only then I was rocking my hips over him like a fiend set free from the asylum.

"I want this Bella," and I knew he meant _us_. "I want this and I want you and fuck…I can feel how god damn wet you are, smell how much you ache. Tell me," he growled, using his hand in my hair to guide my head and force me to look at him.

Edward's lips dripped sin as I was forced to look into his eyes, unable to stop myself from the friction of his body so close to mine.

"I ache," I whispered against his face, hot and moist breath fanning his face until I could feel him grind himself up against me.

Edward pushed me down on my back on the porch, pressing my hands to the wood as I spread myself open for him, all but willing my clothes to burn off of me just to feel him.

The force of his mouth was soft and yet brutal and full of such intensity I arched up against his body just to feel him shake. The grinding, the sensation…he was so hard, so ready and I needed him like a drowning victim needs air.

"Bella, you're my fucking world," Edward growled when he broke away from me, his hand trailing down my body to find the catch and zipper of my jeans.

All I could do was pant for breath, parting my legs and lifting my hips in desperate anticipation to solidify this…to solidify _us_.

My eyes rolled back when I heard the button release, the zipper part from its' metal teeth with a hard, tearing jolt. His hands were rough as they slid my jeans down over my hips, tearing my panties straight off of my body.

My fingers clawed down his neck and shoulders and suddenly the cold night air mingled with the heat of his mouth.

Right between my legs.

"Fuck baby I can't stop. I fucking need this, I fucking need you." Edward snarled so deep I felt my clit twitch.

I could smell myself on the breeze, mingling with sun and sand and musk and I was lost to everything but the power he held over me. I was shaking with desire, not giving a damn about the cold, or the consequences or Charlie inside the house. "Please..."

When I begged, Edward drove my legs apart forcefully, his tongue sliding down my wet lips, his teeth trailing into the depths of my folds and I swear I saw shooting stars.

His tongue slid inside of me and I felt his fingers, two of them, thrust into my body making me moan so hard I had to cover my mouth for fear of the scream that would rip me in two if i let it out.

"God damns me with the fucking taste of you," he groaned between the wet lapping sound of his mouth, his fingers arching up inside of me, pressing the hot flat wall of my pussy until I thrashed under him.

"Edward," I tried to cry out through the hand that cupped over my own mouth. I rode his finger fucking and the hot torture of every teasing thrust against my E-spot. It was too much, I was too close.

"Bella," His teeth nipped at my wet lips while he played me like the puppet master, making me dance, making me writhe.

My eyes ripped open and I tried to lean up, I needed to touch him and feel him. I was so close to the edge...dangerous and dangling and gasping.

Edward had taken himself in hand, stroking his cock with my torn panties, his head turning to get deeper into my body, to drive his tongue into me just to savor every drop.

I fell back onto the porch, shaking and dizzy and all I could do was beg. "Please. Please..."

...and suddenly the dark night was shattered by yellow light. The kitchen was suddenly illuminated and I jolted so hard, Edward looked up, his face glistening with me.

"Charlie," I gasped.

_Shit._

Authors Note:

Thank you to my extraordinary Brits_23 for being everything a soul sistah could be to me. It has been a long time since last we collaborated and here we stand, taking up arms together again. The flow of creativity is a river by which we swim together and I could not be more excited than to have this beautiful woman by my side; again…still and forever.

I wanted to take a very important moment to welcome a dear friend, a true heart and a devotee of all things Snarl-the delicious Icrodriguez. Icrodriguez has been with us since the beginning and has taken on the mantle of "First Proof"-the gal that keeps the finger on the pulse of Snarl.

This is one hell of a team we have here. A Trinity.

I want to thank you Icrodriguez, for enduring last minute revisions and a proof or three to bring Snarlward back to his beloved ones, in just this way.

To all those who have waited, pleaded, yelled and screamed and gave the truest care as to how things are: This is for you. I heard your voices and I am here, with Snarlie, to give you that which you have asked me for.

I know it has been a long time. I know how bad it sucked for the way things happened. I was mentally trapped, tapped and staunched for nearly two years in the situation I had been living in. Now, I have relocated states and I am with my one true love of nearly 17yrs and the creativity is flowing again.

If you are here, roll call. I want to know this chapter has reached you and as always what your thoughts on this latest addition has been.

I will not give you an update schedule but know I am already working on the next chapter and it will be a minimum of two weeks before it graces your eyes.

With that said:

I need my Snarlies now more than ever. Sing to me my dear old friends (and my most recent new ones) and let me know you are with me now.

Xoxoxox,

VvDeadRosesvV


	32. Mutualism and Mythology

Disclaimer: Twilight, the Character names and descriptions, places and events are property of Stephanie Meyer ™. I do not make money from this endeavor, it is for creative purposes only.

Breaking Trinity is intellectual property of VvDeadRosesvV and is protected in entirety and original form by "PM Copyright". If you have questions regarding PM Copyright, please visit for further details.

Just a note, I thank you for asking but I will not allow any translations of this story at this time.

Warning: Please be advised, this fiction is rated M for mature. Breaking Trinity contains graphic language and explicit descriptions of sexual acts including some terms/scenarios that may be offensive to those with sensitive natures. Please adhere to age/state guidelines when viewing any content in this fiction. If you are opposed to strong/inappropriate language with religious overtones it is advised you read no further.

The author is not responsible for your corruption. Read at your own risk.

Thank you!

~~~)(~~~

_I fell back onto the porch, shaking and dizzy and all I could do was beg. "Please.. Please..."_

_...and suddenly the dark night was shattered by yellow light. The kitchen was illuminated and I jolted so hard, Edward looked up, his face glistening with me._

"_Charlie," I gasped._

_Shit._

BPOV

Chapter 30: Mutualism and Mythology

Edward's eyes looked black as night as he narrowed them in response to the light flooding out from the kitchen and onto the porch.

With the leonine grace of a jungle cat, he slid back, dangerously calm though I could hear the rumble of his growl even in my panic.

Panting for breath and shaking, I quickly stumbled to right myself on the protesting old wood, rolling my shirt down and my jeans up sans panties. I didn't bother to try to do them back up, save the intact button.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

I grabbed my hastily tossed book and turned it right ways around, my thumb sliding between some pages as I desperately tried to calm myself down, smoothing my hair and licking my lips.

I heard the door open as Edward was already shrinking back into the shadows like an apparition born of the night itself. I knew I was a disheveled mess and my body screamed out in response to the shock of having Edward so close and now so far away.

Both of us left unfulfilled, unfinished.

Unrequited.

"Bells, you alright? I thought I heard something out here?" Charlie poked his head out of the kitchen door, craning his neck to see me sitting under the porch light, slightly askew from where he had left me.

"Yeah," I said in the most annoyed tone possible. It wasn't a lie, I was thoroughly beside myself with pent up desire and panic.

"Come on inside, you will catch your death here." That fatherly tone broke the chill of the night.

"Yes Sir," I bit back the growl in my throat and with my back to him, I slid up and adjusted my shirt and jacket in attempts to cover what had started but never finished out here.

But it was definitely better than being caught in the act. Charlie probably would have come rushing out with his gun in hand, thinking two wild cats were loose in his yard due to all of the wild kingdom sounds Edward and I would have undoubtedly been making in our throes of passion. _Quiet we were not._

One more second, and I'm sure neither Edward nor I could have stopped at all.

"No need to take that tone, Missy." One dark eyebrow was raised as I turned to face him. "Bells, you're a good kid and I know the idea of restriction is driving you crazy, especially with all the freedom you had with your mother…"

"Don't start blaming it on parenting," I warned, my mother's tone coming out of my own mouth. _When did I start sounding like Renee? _

I didn't want to get into this now. I wanted to be upstairs, out of sight, and finishing what Edward had left dripping between my legs.

"Easy, kiddo." Charlie held his hand up in surrender while the other opened the door for me.

I didn't say a thing as I drew toward the threshold, my eyes casting a sidelong glance to the shadows…wondering if Edward was still there, as jumpy and frustrated as I was.

I was a shaking mess of angst and need and pure panic, desperately trying to hold it all together.

"Hey, Bells. I was thinking about this baseball game tomorrow night." I jumped like I was on fire. Startled.

"I am going to commute your sentence."

"Really?" I said, a little shocked.

"Yeah. You can go to the game, curfew to be discussed. I'm giving you one more week of hard time and by next Friday you can have your freedom back again." Charlie sounded definitive and I swear I could have levitated with elation. "With all agreed upon terms, that is."

I wondered if Edward was still out there, if he had heard.

"Why the change of heart?" I knew I shouldn't have been looking a gift horse in the mouth but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

"Like I said, you're a good kid Bells." Charlie let me in the house, closing the door behind us both. I turned to give him my full attention, holding my book in front of me to keep my jacket closed. I didn't need him to see his daughter in the process of being undone.

"And I _may _have talked to your Mom. You know, there is just as much of her inside of you as there is me. She always needed her freedom and I can't cage you in for long." Charlie looked almost sad but he didn't skip a beat. "But that doesn't mean omission isn't a lie and it also doesn't mean excuses are worth a damn when it comes to the people you love. Think you can get that lesson in a week?"

_Omission is a lie. The very words I had said to Edward, coming back to me now._ I felt the blood drain out of my face.

"Yeah, Dad. I think I can." I stammered my words just thinking back on my conversation with Edward earlier. I knew Charlie was right. Even as panicked as I was at this moment and still irritated that Edward and I couldn't finish what we had started, Charlie had swallowed his pride and called Renee on this.

I guess some loves never die, they just change.

And that made me hopeful. And it made me realize Edward and I had to find a way to tell Charlie about us, and just how important it really was. I didn't want to _omit _anymore, but I was scared of the consequences or even the blunt fact that he could refuse to let Edward date his daughter. I was still seventeen. I was still under his roof. And although I didn't know or understand the reasons why yet, Charlie didn't seem to like Edward.

If Edward and I were going to make a real relationship out of this, I would need those reasons.

_As far as forbiding us to date, well, let's just hope it doesn't come to that._

"Give your old man a hug, eh?" Charlie half smiled and opened his arms wide.

I slid into his embrace and remembered just how safe my Dad's hugs always made me feel. If I wasn't locked up in gears still thinking about Edward, I might have even gotten a little misty.

Charlie was treating me like a daughter. We hadn't had much of that with me living in Arizona the majority of the years. And with college and career and everything else that would come into my life, there wasn't much time to relish this.

So, I sank into it. Just for a minute.

When I felt Charlie pat my back and release me, I stepped back.

"Alright, head on up to bed," he said, motioning with his chin to the direction of the stairs. I turned and started walking, giving myself this moment to take one of those Kodak snap shots in my heart.

My dad really was pretty cool sometimes.

"Hey Bells?" Charlie called as I turned the corner of the kitchen.

I poked my head back toward him. "Yeah, Dad?"

"I think you need some new jeans, the zipper looks busted." Charlie commented casually and I felt all of the blood drain out of my face.

I glanced down and I could see the metal teeth exposed, the zipper catch dangling and half off of the track it should have been safely ensnared to.

_Shit. _

I went from blanched white to flushed red. I could hear my blood pounding in my ears.

"Yeah, these are old," was all I could manage, suddenly very acutely aware of the sky and the cosmos and alien life on other planets. I was hyper alert.

"If you need more, I'll take you shopping this weekend."

"Thanks, Dad." I was internally mortified. "Night."

With as much grace and speed as I could muster, I bolted up the stairs and tripped on the fourth and fifth one, nearly spilling myself back down the landing. I closed my bedroom door and braced my back against it, overflowing with adrenaline. I promptly turned the lock and tossed my book on my bed.

Tearing off my jacket, I hunched my back to look down at my jeans. Sure enough, Edward had ripped the zipper head straight off its track.

_Holy hell. That was a near miss._

Even at his ripe old age, Charlie might well have been sharper than anyone I knew. Myself and Edward included.

That's when I heard rustling outside of my partially parted window. _Oh god, what was happening now?_

_Sun. Sand. Musk._

Edward slid into my view, just outside of the window and I could have jumped out of my skin.

_Need. Desire. Addiction. _Everything came flooding back in a flash.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, drawing as close to him as I dared while he hung on precariously outside of my window.

"If you thought I was going to leave you like this, Bella, you're sadly fucking mistaken," Edward said in a low, husky voice.

"Edward!" I froze in place, once more glancing over my shoulder, once more in panic. Even though every rushing element beneath my skin was pulsing and alive and attracted to him, I was terrified of the both of us getting caught. "We can't do this. Seriously!"

"The hell we can't," Edward growled and cleared the landing of my window, tossing his jacket onto the ledge.

And in that brief space between hushed tones and panting breaths, he was there, inside of my room, his hand reaching for the lamp and the light going suddenly dim, until all I could hear was my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.

"Charlie is..I won't be able to stay quiet…" I stammered as Edward drew me in against him so tight I forgot the world, all except for him. Slowly, deviously, his hand slid over my mouth.

I breathed in _sun_ and _sand _and _musk_ and my lips moved against his palm, tasting his skin.

"Then I will just have to keep you quiet, won't I, Bella?" Edward dragged his words out into a husky hiss of breath.

I couldn't fight this anymore. I needed him to take me. NOW.

~~)(~~

EPOV

My fucking hands were shaking on her skin. Stripped bare before me, clothes flung onto the floor like a forgotten thought, the darkness of the room and scant moonlight through the windows bathed her curves in desire.

My desire.

I was as gentle as I could be with her mouth, those perfect soft petals quaking beneath my onslaught only filled me with the torturous need to have her. To pleasure her. To worship her in every debauched way I could imagine.

I wanted to make her scream.

_But not tonight_. I would save the screaming for another time when I could truly savor her ecstasy. Oh, how my gorgeous girl could writhe and moan and plead. When she cums, when she begs, when my name falls from her lips in hisses and growls, I see the face of God.

_So fucking tempting. _But no, I had one specific plan in mind to shut the wild kingdom into a sound proof barrier.

We had Charlie to consider and I had no intention of there being a fucking audience tonight.

My teeth dragged her lower lip and I felt her arch against me, the aching hot scent of her making me leak all fucking naked and standing and pressed against her. My hands were in her hair, tugging….my hips met hers, grazing the slick velvet of her tight, hot pussy.

"I need you," Bella gasped and I trailed my mouth, my tongue down the side of her neck.

"Shhhh," I reminded, sinking my teeth into her skin to the point I could feel it ready to open and cupped my hand over her mouth.

Her hot breath exhaled sharply against my palm and my hand in her hair wound tighter, dragging her deeper into my bite.

_No Marks. Not yet. Control yourself, Cullen._

I felt Bella tighten, her hand sliding down between us as we stood, pressed together. Her fingers coned tight around me, stroking me furiously. _Fuck! God-dammit. _That grip, that perfect thumb the tip grip. I thrust violently into her hand, drowning in tangerine, honey, wet wildflowers.

_Fucking temptress. She wanted me to lose my shit. She wanted to play with fire._

My teeth released her neck and I took her mouth hard, owning her, reminding her just what could happen if she lit this pyre.

I felt her submit to me. I felt her thighs spread and her back arch toward the bed.

_Oh no, baby. I have plans for you._

Gripping her perfect ass, I walked her backwards slowly, using the moonlight to guide us toward the bare white wall right by the window.

"Edward," she whispered like a decadent prayer and I hoisted my girl up and bit back a groan when my dick pressed right against her hot, throbbing pussy.

Without skipping a beat, Bella wrapped herself around me and I pressed her against the plaster, one hand by her head to stabilize myself.

"Hold on tight. Don't make a fucking sound." I groaned, biting back my breath with a hiss and I felt her shake, her nails scratching into my scalp as she fisted a hard grip on my hair.

_Fuck. Me._

With an arch of my hips up against her, I felt the tip of my dick rub that hot, slick opening.

_God damn. _

I exhaled sharply the moment we connected. My cock slid into her, she was so fucking tight. I swear my girl was the gateway to heaven, immortality, perfection and my eternal damnation.

Bella started to cry-out the moment I went deep and I took her mouth, drinking her breaths and stifling her moans. Her hips stilled and her body quaked and when her tongue disentangled from my own I fucking heard her whisper and plead.

I drove into her body, arching her back against the wall like a wild man intent on destroying and rebuilding her like a sacred fucking temple. Her body milked me, gripping and squeezing as I felt her teeth grip my cheek just to keep from screaming.

Fuck. I couldn't have her hard enough, fast enough, deep enough. I would never be sated, never whole. I couldn't fuse us tight enough, couldn't slake the obsession and addiction and need that burned like fire through my veins.

Bella met my hips, arching to receive me and return to me in force every inch I fed her. Perfect tits bounced against me, I could feel her ribcage wracking, her spine shifting with every thick pump into her hungry body.

I took her savagely, biting at her lips to keep from screaming and growling.

She took me even harder, driving me to the edge of sanity, of humanity.

I couldn't fucking take it anymore.

Her hand in my hair, my hand fisting into hers…tugging and ripping at roots as our mouths battled for dominance, swallowing breaths and copper tasting blood to avoid screaming and panting and exposing ourselves to the world outside of her door.

"Mine," I snarled out between our tongues and teeth, lost in my obsession.

"Mine," Bella hissed, making my body shiver with her possession.

Her pussy tightened, spasmed and milked me until I was about to lose my shit. So close to the edge, I drove myself into her until I felt her teeth break from my lips and sink into my shoulder.

_Oh fuck._

I gasped for air, my breath hot and heavy and low against her ear. "Cum! Fuck baby, cum for me!"

I heard her whimper, felt it ricochet through my fucking body. Every sensation narrowed to where we joined, body and heart and God-Damn mind. I felt her cum, the release- the waves of her heat sliding down my thighs and filling the room with tangerine and honey and wet wildflowers.

Bella took me with her, over the edge, breaking my body open on jagged rocks. I drove hard and deep against her, pistoning and spiraling and spilling and pumping everything I had into one glorious moment.

Fuck, I was owned.

Just as I owned her.

~~)(~~

BPOV

My breaths were sharp and thin. My body rocked with aftershocks until I couldn't feel my legs or my back or even my own brain working its odd rhythms.

There was only Edward.

The feeling of him inside of me, holding me so tightly, so closely while he fought to get a hold of his own wracking breath. I could feel him shiver into me and it was all I could do to kiss his shoulder and neck and everything in the proximity of my lips.

Melded together, fused at the core of our desire, I couldn't stop touching him. My fingers slid through his hair, dripping down along his neck, welcomed by the warm sound of his soft sigh. Carressing him was an act of beauty.

I quivered when I felt his lips brush my skin, trailing down along my cheek and shoulder, his hands flowing like water down my hips and thighs. I could feel his warm breath against me and the pull of his trembling body as he inhaled my scent, drawing the very essence of me into his body.

"Bella." Edward was barely audible, my name falling from his lips like a holy enunciation. Slowly, he lifted his forehead to press against my own.

"Edward." I whispered.

We remained as we were, forehead to forehead, an exchange of breaths passing between us. His lips brushed against mine, once and then twice and all I could do was sigh softly in content.

I felt alive. Exhausted. Whole.

And suddenly so aware of the world around me, crashing into my little sphere of perfection.

_Charlie!_

Panic surged through me and Edward drew his hand from my hair to stroke my cheek slowly, gently. "I think we're safe."

His whisper did nothing to quelch my fear. I was always so caught up in Edward, I doubt I would have heard a gunshot go off in my own bedroom. I wasn't afraid anymore of how unhealthy this was. I was only afraid of losing him to the obstacles that seemed to dominate our short time together.

A relationship. Our relationship.

I yawned, despite my fear and constant state of arousal when I was with Edward. Slowly, he disentangled himself from me as my shaking legs tried to cope with the loss of his strength. In the midst of another yawn, I smiled. A genuine, honest and sated smile.

Edward kissed me gently, running his hand down my naked back and cupping my ass to draw me in closer to him. I let myself drown in the sensation, the warmth and fullness that came after what the both of us just did.

_That was naughty. Especially for me._

"We shouldn't tempt fate anymore tonight," I finally managed, brushing my hair back and looking in the dark for any clothes that might be mine.

"Just for tonight, I'll concede." And I could hear the smile in Edward's voice.

I tip toed to my dresser, pulling out the first tee-shirt my fingers fell on, careful to not make too much sound as I slipped it on and slid back onto my bed, brushing my abandoned book out of my way.

I watched Edward move around in the dark, slow and purposeful and managing to not make a single creak on the floor boards as he dressed himself. When his jacket was retrieved from the window ledge, he walked back over to my bed and leaned down.

"I'll see you at the game tomorrow night," he said, and even though I knew he was still smiling, I could feel the bliss starting to ebb in his voice.

"I'll miss you," I whispered in a moment of vulnerability. I could see his chest expand in reaction to my words. I blushed profusely...until I felt him slowly bend toward me. With his eyes holding mine, he kissed me so softly, so sweetly I lost my breath.

"Not for long you won't." Edward's lips were soft and warm as they slid over mine, his hand gently holding my chin tilted up toward him. My hands reached along his shoulders to the back of his neck where for a long moment I twirled errant strands of copper and gave myself completely to his kiss.

And like a good dream that vanishes with the yawning of daylight, I felt his lips leave mine and watched Edward's silhouette slide out of my bedroom window and out of my sight.

My head fell back on the pillow as I kept my eyes trained on the open window. It was cold enough to feel the breeze moving through the room, but I didn't have the heart to close it. It gave me comfort to think that if he needed to or if he wanted to, Edward could climb back through at any time in the middle of the night and soothe the ache that built the moment we were apart.

Oh my God. I was falling head over heels.

For Edward Cullen.

~~)(~~

EPOV

Something changed. Something shifted.

Maybe it was inside of me or inside of my girl, but I could feel a difference in the way I left her and the way she watched me go. It might be the exhaustion talking or the fucking phenomenal hormonal overdrive, but leaving Bella tonight made me ache in places I didn't expect.

It actually hurt my heart.

That blackened orifice in my chest- that I didn't think functioned properly anymore- actually shuddered when I turned my back to leave her room. It took everything I had to keep going and climb out that window.

I wanted to sleep with her. And not just in the biblical sense, but in the 'snuggle up and spooning kind of way'. I wondered what she was like when she was truly asleep and unguarded for hours at a time. I wanted to watch her, protect her, savor her.

My stealthy cat girl has done more than entrance my dick like a snake charmer with a flute. She's got me thinking flowers and nice dinners and poems by Byron and Longfellow.

Did Bella like poetry? She had to, I mean she loved classic literature right? Wuthering Heights had been in her grip tonight, on the porch and that book looked beat to shit. And what about her t-shirt with Frederick Nietzsche sayings….and her eye of Horus (that even though I shuddered to recall on her notebook) meant she knew her mythology.

See what I mean?

_Fuck_!

My drive home was too long and too short all at the same time. I pulled into the driveway and yanked the E-Brake, raking my hands through my hair as I tried to make sense of everything and fight the exhaustion that had been threatening me since Alaska.

Shit, did I just come home today? This afternoon? It felt like a year and a half ago.

I slid out of my car, bracing myself on Jasper's to avoid sliding on the ice that had slicked the surface of the blacktop since we hadn't been home to keep salting it for the past few days.

I used my key ring alarm deactivator so not to wake up the parents, siblings and acquired guests. Once inside, I punched the code to re-arm the system and tossed my shoes on the landing.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in. MEOW," that southern drawl hit me and I damn near jumped out of my skin and rolled my eyes at the same time.

Jasper was sitting on the couch, holding a mug with one hand and stroking a very sleeping Alice on his lap with the other. Once my eyes grew accustomed and I shed my jacket, I could make out the scene better.

Wait, was Jasper wearing my robe? _Oh hell no._

"Emmett's was too big and Rosalie's was too pink. I didn't think you would mind." I heard Alice break the silence of the room and I swear that little witch could read minds, sometimes.

"Yeah, it's cool. Whatever." I feigned indifference, knowing full well Jasper was letting his goods rub up into my cashmere.

"He's got bottoms on, don't freak out." Alice replied again to my unspoken sentiment and for a second I wondered if my brain was fucking bugged by the CIA.

"Seriously sis, shut the fuck up." I grumbled and tossed my keys on the stand in the foyer, hanging my jacket on the coat rack. When I drew closer into the living room I could smell chamomile and vanilla tea. That must have been what they were drinking.

Alice must have been having trouble getting to sleep. Not enough to warrant warm milk, yet. "Everything alright?"

"You almost got caught you know. Twice." Alice said matter-of-factly, not bothering to lift her head from Jasper's lap and his calm and slow petting of her neck and hair.

"Bad dreams?" I muttered, drawing myself down onto the couch and taking a much needed load off. Twice Eh? There was the porch, that was a definite, but another time?

"I wouldn't say bad dreams. She was awake for this one but she was twitching an awful lot," Jasper said, taking a swig of his tea.

"There was the porch. And the second time, Charlie was halfway up the stairs. I can't say for certain what stopped him but I could see him dozing off on an armchair." Alice sounded like she was seconds away from sleep.

"She's getting them awake now, more than usual." Jasper said so nonchalantly, you would think we were talking about the most mundane of topics. My sister being some kind of precognitive minx certainly wasn't average or ordinary.

"I'll try to be more careful," I said plaintively not really knowing what else I could muster. When I leaned back on the couch, the cogs in my mind were turning and churning and quickly running out of steam.

I could have melted into the cushions.

That was when I heard Alice start that little nasal snore she does when she just can't fight the exhaustion any longer. Or she was really content. Jasper had that effect on her. Hell, he had that effect on all of us like some kind of amplifier for whatever the vibe of the room was.

If you were stoked about something, Jasper took it up a notch. If you were ready to drink your shit away and give a middle finger to the world, he made it seem that much more important and intense.

It would make sense my sister and Jasper worked.

"So, I heard about Tanya and her legendary freak out. Got yourself kicked out of Alaska with this one, eh, Cullen?" The southern drawl made it sound way more charming than it should have been.

"Yeah, it was a reckoning. Highlander style." I mumbled, stretching my arms out on the couch behind me.

"That's a quickening, not a reckoning. Reckoning is something we do back home, Texas style." Jasper took another sip of his tea, long blond locks highlighted from the TV flicker and falling like silver over the rim of the cup. He was a pretty-boy. Maybe that was why I liked him so much.

We pretty-boys stick together. Or maybe, with Alice and I being twins, we liked the same kind of men. Who the fuck knows at this late hour?

_Whoa. Wait. I'm straight, just for the record. _

"I think you did right, in the end. For what it's worth," Jasper tipped his cup and I couldn't help but smirk. "I hear your girl, Bella, is quite the bit and bridle."

_And a hell-of-a-ride._

Alright, I don't know how much chamomile and vanilla Jasper had drunk tonight but he was starting to play off in my head like some kind of Old Texan stereotype. Not that he wasn't, on some occasions, but everything was whirling around me like pure crazy right now.

Why not him too?

"She is definitely something else. But if you call her some _right Purdy filly_, I'm going to have to bust your face in. Just saying," I grumbled half-jokingly and completely exhausted.

"Transcribed and respected, my man. Of course she must be a right…" Jasper was cut off.

"He really will punch you in the face." Alice stretched, turning so that she was lying on her back on the other half of the couch with her head still on Jaspers lap.

"Dually noted," Jasper laughed, his hand gently soothing my twin sister's face. They really were a spectacular couple.

A part of me was jealous of their freedom, of the perfect fucking symbiosis the two of them shared. I knew I was going to work on that with Bella, but I wanted it now. The sooner the better.

"You should talk to Charlie, Edward." Alice said with a yawn, her hand sliding up along Jasper's face, briefly.

"I intend to," I said, but I knew just how unsure I must have sounded. Bella had all but freaked out at the idea of telling Charlie.

"No you don't. Not yet anyway. But you should and you will." Alice said at last and I felt truly fucking unnerved.

"On that note, kids, I'm off to bed." Without much ado, I rose up from my too-comfy spot on the couch and padded in socked feet toward my room, not giving much space for rebuttal on the matter.

I pretended not to hear Emmett and Rosalie as I walked past his door, pinching the bridge of my nose and finally locking myself away in my room.

I stripped down and grabbed the satin panty treasure I had stolen out from my pocket before I fell onto my bed, not giving a shit for the moment the mess I was leaving behind. Tucking my plundered wares under my pillow, I finally closed my eyes.

My bed felt empty and the sheets were cold as I wrapped myself in them.

The scent of my girl was all around me and emanating off of me.

_Tangerine. Honey. Wet wildflowers. _Her scent was so fucking comforting that I really wished Bella was next to me. I really wished we had the leisure of lying around with nothing to hide, nothing pressing over us…no doom and gloom and bullshit pretenses to stand in our path.

"_No you don't. Not yet anyway. But you should and you will." _

Alice's words were like a gunshot in my head. For a brief second I tried to contemplate them but before I could form a cohesive thought, I felt the paralyzing arms of sleep encircle me.

Good night, Bella…..

A/N

This Chapter is dedicated to a very special woman. **Twilightgma1**, a most incredible lady who touches my heart and my mind with her strength, power and faith. Thank you for imparting your friendship, Snarlie and I are eternally in your corner. Much Luv my darling one.

Special Spanks and thanks to the always incredible **Brits_23**, Beta Extrodinaire. Once a duo, now a trio, the trinity continues with extra hisses and and snarls to the amazing **Icrodriguez**, Mistress of Debaucherie and passionista of the written word. Icrodrigues has a certain way of drawing out the soft and hard in the Snarlward. Thank you my incredible Brits and Icrodriguez for everything you do!

And now I bow to you, my most beloved Snarlies of old and new blood. The outpouring of love and support you have all given Snarlie and I on our comeback has been incredible. I was simply stunned and amazed and in love with each and every one of you. I replied to over 200 reviews before real life took me away but know, if you didnt get a response from me...your words have touched me, teased me and pleased me in the most intense and emotional ways.

Truly my Snarlies, we are on a journey together. Every word you send to me is a word I give back to you in return, of the most citrusy and UST varieties.

Next update approximately 09.05.12 - 09.10.12. I have some business calling me out of town and then of course, it's Labor day.

xoxoxoxox

So, with all this said, clickie the lil review button and tell me how you think our adventure is turning out...


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